“It’s still you,” Anderson said, “I promise.”
I could scarcely comprehend that fact. I stared at the woman in the mirror, trying to locate myself within her. Her skin was tan and smooth where mine had been pale. Her hair was even further beyond the realm of the conceivable. Whereas my hair had been long and blonde, her's was chopped into a pitch-black pixie cut. But as different and foreign as she looked to me, I had to admit that she was stunning. I lifted my hand to my head, watching as my reflection did the same. I ran my fingers through my short black crop of hair, and was surprised at the freedom and satisfaction that I felt. This might just do.
“You look beautiful,” Anderson said, coming up behind me and laying his hands on my bare waist. I stood naked before him, our reflections framed in the dirty mirror.
“Do you still...” I started, looking up at him, “Are you still attracted to me?”
He flipped me around so that I was facing him against the sink. My body lit up at his sudden show of force. He looked down into my eyes with an intensity that I knew well. “Do you think that something as small as how you look could change the way I feel about you?” he asked.
“It’s a pretty significant change,” I said, biting my lip.
“Listen to me,” he said, cupping my chin in his strong hand, “Nothing will change the way I feel about you, Kaela. I love you. Besides my family, you’re the only person that I’ve ever loved and trusted in the world. You’re everything to me, and I will protect you until the day I die.”
I brought my hands to his slender waist, around the small of his back. Our sudden closeness was making me dizzy. It had been days since we had touched like this, and desire was coursing through me with an intensity that was brand new. Anderson pressed in against me, pinning me against the counter. I could feel him growing hard against my thigh, throbbing with need for me. Despite the fear that had held me captive for so many hours, in that moment I felt safe. I felt like I was home. And I knew that I needed him right then and there.
Anderson brought his lips to mine, and I hungrily accepted his kiss. Our mouths moved together, opened to each other with abandon. I slid my tongue against his, savoring the taste of him. He flicked his tongue against mine, sending little tremors of pleasure through my body. I tightened my grip around his waist as I brought my teeth down onto his bottom lip, nibbling gently at him. He sucked in a deep breath as the tiny sting of my bite coursed through him. With one easy motion, he scooped his hands under my trembling thighs and hoisted me up.
He held me aloft as I kissed him deeper and deeper, bringing my eager mouth to the skin of his throat. A low, grating moan escaped his lips as I ran my tongue along his collarbone, dug my fingers into the fine muscles of his shoulders. He carried me from the bathroom and pressed my back up against the hotel room wall. The bed was not an option and the floor was out of the question. I grabbed onto the door frame as Anderson lowered his mouth to my breasts. He flicked his tongue against my hard nipples, driving me out of my mind.
“Have me right here,” I begged as he sucked hard on my tender nipple. He didn’t have to be told twice. Holding me aloft with one hand, he tugged off his shorts and boxers, and his thick member rose up to meet me. I held my breath as Anderson guided his manhood toward my eager wetness. We couldn’t wait, not for a moment. In one graceful motion, Anderson slid into me, drawing a deep, yearning moan from my throat. I arched my back against the wall as he sank into me again, and again.
With my fingers tangled tightly in Anderson’s short, black curls, I bucked against his thrusts. Deeper and deeper, he drove up inside me, spreading me open with his long, throbbing member. I reveled in the fullness of holding him inside of me, grinning as he drove into the very core of me. I could feel that hot, insistent pressure beginning to build and I knew that I was getting close. As if he could sense it, Anderson began to thrust harder, faster, his breaths coming out in wild primal groans. The force of his wanting was making me high, and the room seemed to spin around me.
I stifled a cry as the force of Anderson’s pummeling thrusts sent me spinning into orgasm. I clutched his shoulder as I came, pressing myself hard against his body. He could feel me trembling in his arms, and my pleasure only drove him madder. With a final, forceful thrust, I felt him come inside of me. His member pulsed against my flesh, filling me with him. I held on tightly, cherishing the sensation of feeling him release within me. Finally, when we were both spent, Anderson lowered me to my feet. We embraced, shaking and sighing, as the world came back into focus.
“I’m so glad I met you,” I said, resting my cheek against his chest.
“Why?” he asked, “I’ve brought you nothing but trouble.”
I looked up at him, amazed. “That’s not true,” I said.
“No?” he replied, “After I pulled those guys off you that first night, shouldn’t I have brought you home and let you get on with your life? Instead, I did the selfish thing. I brought you into my life. My twisted, dangerous life. If I really had your best interests at heart, I would have left you alone. But I could only think about how much I wanted you.”
“Is that such a bad thing?” I asked, striving to be playful.
“It’s my fault you’re in danger now,” Anderson said, looking pained. “I can’t stay away from you, Kaela. But I thought about this, and before anything else happens, I want to give you the chance to walk away.”
“What?” I said, taking a step away from him. He stood before me in all his unclothed beauty, a beseeching look upon his face. Even in his grimy hotel room he was the most beautiful man I’d ever seen in real life. Or otherwise, for that matter.
“If you wanted to leave me now,” he said slowly, “I would let you go. I wouldn’t blame you for wanting your life back. I could give you enough money to get away, forever. I could deal with all this without worrying about you. If that’s what you want, just say the word.”
“Stop it,” I told him, suddenly angry, “You can’t possibly think that I would leave you now, do you? I could try, but it wouldn’t take. All that I want is to be here with you, no matter what that means. You’re not going to shake me off, Mr. Cole.”
“I don’t want to shake you off,” he said, “I just wanted to give you the chance.”
“I don’t want the chance,” I said, twining my fingers with his. “I want you. Plain and simple.”
“Simple...” he said, “I’m pretty sure we’re the farthest thing from simple.”
“Regardless,” I said, “It’s you and me, until the end. And I don’t want to hear another word about it, OK?”
“OK, ma’am,” he said with the shadow of smile. “Whatever you say.”
“That’s more like it,” I said, “Now be a dear and fetch me something to sleep in. I’m beat.”
He did so, pulling a plain white tee shirt out of the gym bag and handing it over. I slipped the simple garment over my newly tanned body, my body still pulsing with the heat of our lovemaking. I lowered myself gingerly onto the garish comforter, watching as Anderson went to splash some water onto his face, and then throw his clothes back on. He returned to my side, settling onto the rickety bed. A long moment of silence passed between us, the enormity of the situation taking hold once again. I could see his mind churning, searching for solutions to our impossible dilemma. I lay a hand on his muscled shoulder, and he looked over with his deep, soulful eyes.
“Anderson,” I said, “I’m sorry about what Robert turned out to be.”
“I’m sorry too,” he said, “It’s like losing another parent. All my life, I’ve thought of Robert as someone I could trust, confide in. Someone who would keep me safe. Now that I know it was all a lie...I feel like someone I cared about has passed away. Ceased to exist. We’ve had so many good times together. But all the while, he was just using me. Manipulating me for his own gain.”
“It’s OK to mourn who you thought he was,” I said, “He was a huge part of your life.”
“I just feel like such an idiot,
” Anderson said, “All these years, I’ve never put the pieces together. If I’d just looked a little closer...”
“You had no reason to,” I said, “What Robert’s done to you, to your family, is unthinkable. You would have to be evil yourself to have even considered it a possibility.”
“Or just a little bit smarter,” he said.
“Smart’s got nothing to do with it,” I said, “From what I hear, Toby was plenty smart. He didn’t see it either.”
Toby’s name hung in the air between us like a ghost. I knew so little about Anderson’s family, and suddenly that made me terribly sad. I imagined what it would have been like to know Anderson under different circumstances. What would it have been like to meet him in a class, or at a bar, or through a friend? To go through the process of dating and courtship like a normal couple? To worry about whether his family would like me, then meet them and discover that I had nothing to worry about? It would have been so nice to have known them.
“Can you tell me more about your family?” I asked Anderson. “You don’t have to, if it’s going to upset you.”
“No,” Anderson said, “It might be nice to talk about them.” He took a deep breath and began, “I never really appreciated any of them while they were alive. I guess no kid really does, but I wish that I could have seen how good they were back then. My mother was beautiful. I’ve seen old pictures of her, from before Toby and I were born. She had this long brown hair, like the color of chestnuts. Curls, all the way down her back. Most of the time, there were all bundled up on the top of her head, ‘cause she’d be hurrying back and forth between jobs. She worked at the bank during the day, and during the night she was a seamstress. She always wore this bright red lipstick. Every day. One time, I put some of it on Toby. I didn’t know that lipstick was a ‘boy thing’. My parents almost died laughing when they caught sight of him. He loved it, too. I’m surprised he didn’t make it a daily thing.
Dad never said much, but he wasn’t cold. He was a school janitor—not at our school, though. That would have been a little hard. Not because there’s anything undignified about it. Just because kids can be little shits, you know? I’d watch the kids at my school mess with the janitors, the lunch ladies, and it was always hard not to just pound on them. But I couldn’t do that, because then I’d have to say why it made me so mad. And as much as I respected my father, I knew that I was supposed to be ashamed of him. I’m sure that makes me the worst son that’s ever lived...”
“It’s doesn’t,” I said, taking hold of his hand. “Tell me more.”
“Well,” he said, “On weekends, when it was nice out, they’d take Toby and me to the boardwalk. The Coney Island boardwalk is like another planet, especially back then. Every kind of person in the world you could imagine shows up there when it’s warm out. We’d all four head down, get our hotdogs, and ride the roller coaster. I’d never admit it to anyone, but I was a little afraid of the going in the water. I didn’t like the jelly fish...I know that sounds crazy now, but I couldn’t stand the thought of ‘em. Toby didn’t care though. Toby loved the water. He’d go splashing right in, not even testing the water first like most kids would. He’d just dive right into the waves, laughing the whole time. I admired him for that. He was fearless.”
“You’re fearless too,” I said.
“That’s not true,” Anderson said, “I’m afraid of plenty of things.”
“Like what?” I asked.
“Like losing,” Anderson said, “I’m afraid to lose. I’m afraid to lose a fight, that’s why I don’t. It’s not my skill as a fighter, it’s fear that keeps from losing. I’ve already lost so much in life. My parents, and Toby, and my whole childhood...but I’ve never lost a fight. I don’t know if I could stand to. If I lose a fight, then who knows what I’ll lose next? My reputation, my pride...What if I even lost you?”
I took his face in my hands, seeing my new self reflected in his eyes. “I can tell you one thing for certain, Anderson,” I said, “You couldn’t lose me if you tried.”
He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. “Thank god for that,” he said.
“Are you going to stay with me tonight?” I asked.
“I can’t do that,” he said, “Robert’s men will get suspicious if they don’t see me come home for the night. I’m sure they’re posted around the building.”
“What are you going to do about the fight tomorrow?” I asked him fearfully.
“I don’t know yet,” he said, “I’ve still got to figure it out.”
“I want to be there,” I told him, “Whatever you decide to do.”
“Kaela,” he said, his brow furrowing, “It’s too dangerous.”
“No such thing as too dangerous,” I said as gamely as I could, “Whatever’s going on in the outside world, this is the most important fight of your career. You don’t think I’m going to let you face it alone, do you? Besides, I have a new identity now.” I smiled.
“Well...” he started, “Maybe that could work. But what’s our plan? I mean, what’s our endgame?”
“I don’t know,” I said, “I thought you’d be able to tell me.”
“You don’t seem like the kind of girl who likes having things decided for her,” Anderson said.
“You’ve got me there,” I smiled.
“So tell me,” Anderson said, “With everything that’s happened...What do you want?”
“I don’t want to go home,” I said firmly, “I don’t want to try and live my life here as if nothing has happened. Anderson, all I want in the world is you.”
“And you’re all I want,” he said, “So...Why don’t we just run with that?”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I mean...Why don’t we leave? Run away?”
“But...Where?” I asked, excitement quickening my pulse.
“Where do you want to go?” he asked.
“Somewhere...warm,” I said, “New York winters are horrible.”
“They’re the worst,” he agreed, “So, somewhere warm. We could head for Mexico.”
“Or South America,” I said.
“Or Australia,” he suggested.
“Or Hawaii!” I cried.
He let out a warm laugh. “Well, which?” he asked.
“Is there anywhere they won’t find us?” I asked.
Anderson’s face fell. “That I don’t know...” he said.
“God,” I muttered, “I wish we could just get that fucker locked away. Who knows what else he’s been up to, besides building his underground fighting empire. He was playing your family—who knows how many other innocent people have died because of him?”
Anderson looked at me long and hard. “Probably quite a few,” he said slowly.
“More than a few, I’m sure,” I said, “How many fighters do you think die every year, alone?”
“I bet if someone investigated him...” Anderson said. I could see the spark of an idea smoldering behind his eyes.
“Are you onto something?” I asked. Sitting on my heels and looking at him intently.
“Maybe,” he said, “It’s a little insane, but so is literally everything about this situation.”
“That’s fair,” I said, “Will you tell me what you’re thinking?”
“I’d better not,” he said, “That way if it goes wrong, you can plead ignorance.”
I swallowed hard. This sounded serious. “OK,” I said, “What do I need to know?”
“The password for tomorrow’s fight is ‘serendipity’,” he said, holding my hands in his. “You know where to find the red door with the silver eight. Do as much as you can to look like someone else. Wear something you never would as yourself, pile on the makeup, speak with an accent, the works. Tell anyone who asks that your name is...Um...”
“Emilia,” I suggested, “Emilia Bellantoni.”
“Perfect,” Anderson grinned. “You’ve got a knack for this.”
“I guess I was born for a life in the underground,” I
said, “Who knew?”
“Do you have a passport?” Anderson asked.
“Yeah,” I said, “Will I be needing it?”
“If all goes according to plan,” he said.
“The plan you won’t tell me?” I asked.
“That plan. Yes,” he said.
“OK,” I said. “Do I need to do anything else?”
“Wear flats,” he said.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because we might be running, that’s why,” he said.
“Very well,” I replied, “Flats it is.”
“I have to go,” Anderson said, running his fingers through my new short hair, “I have some things to take care of before tomorrow.”
“OK,” I said, standing with him. “I won’t see you before the fight?” I asked.
“No,” he said, “No, I guess not.”
We let that knowledge sink in. This was the last time we’d be together before the championship brawl the next day. Before Anderson implemented whatever plan it was he had in mind. This could be the last time we ever saw each other, should something go wrong. Without saying a word, we threw our arms around each other, holding on tight.
“I love you,” I whispered against his shoulder.
“I love you too,” he told me fiercely.
He lifted my mouth to his once more and kissed me firmly, resolutely, with just the faintest hint of finality. When he broke away, his face was set and determined.
“Do what you need to do,” I told him, feeling my own jaw lock into place.
Anderson nodded once and turned on his heel. He strode across the threshold and closed the door behind him. I was only in the dingy hotel room, listening to sirens tear through the city that lurked and throbbed beyond the window.
I sank back onto the bed and took a deep, steadying breath. I knew that sleep would be impossible, though I’d never needed it more. Tomorrow would change the course of my life forever, that much was for certain. I’d either be freed of every restraint that had ever bound me, or I’d be done for. Either way, Anderson would be at my side to the very end. And for the time being, it would have to be enough. Until tomorrow dawned, enough was all I could hope for.
Shattered (A Bad Boy Romance Novel) Page 12
