by Zoe York
She grinned at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, and went in search of a muslin scarf. Totally worth it, but difficult to cover up in the summer heat.
Paul had been right. They’d needed two more condoms that night, each of them taking turns waking the other before dawn finally arrived.
Sleeping with him had been an unexpected pleasure in itself. His body, hard and taut with tension while conscious, softened to a warm, snuggly blanket as he slept. Which he somehow did both under and on top of her—pulling her over his torso, then sliding one arm around to rest across her back and notching one leg onto her hip.
Waking up had been bittersweet and deliberately PG-13. Neither had known quite what to say, so they silently showered, made and drank coffee, and got dressed, all without talking. They exchanged a few words, but not the important ones. Not the decisive ones. About if they could stick to the one-night plan, when they both wanted more. Or if they might be brave and take a leap into the unknown, knowing it wasn’t ideal, but since it was all they could have, why not have it while they could?
Why not?
The question rolled over in her head as she changed again at home. She twisted the possible answers in every conceivable direction as she checked email, watered plants, put on laundry and by the time her phone rang mid-morning, she was quite certain there was no barrier that couldn’t be overcome. So she answered with more gaiety than she’d felt in a month, but her mood quickly evaporated as her mother’s teary words spilled out of the handset.
“Slow down, Mom, I can’t understand what you’re saying.” She swallowed hard against the panic rising in her chest. “Who’s in the hospital? Where are you?”
“Saint uhm…St. Louis. It’s your brother.” The words fell away, overcome by shaking and sobbing, and in the background, her dad’s voice got louder as he took the phone.
“Karen, Chad’s been in an accident.” Her father never called Chase by his given name. Oh god. “He was hit by someone who ran a red light. He’s in surgery right now, but we should know more soon.”
“Dad?” She couldn’t ask what she really wanted to know. It didn’t matter as much as his life.
“It’s his legs, sweetie.”
No. A keening wail threatened to rip out of her chest and she stuffed her fist in her mouth. A thousand kilometers away, her mother made a matching sound, and Karen’s heart broke. All of their hopes and dreams for their oldest son… “Do you need me there?”
“I don’t know. I’ll call Davis next, can you call Audrey?”
“I can call both of them.”
Her dad sucked in a shaky breath. “Okay. Thank you. We’ll be heading back into the hospital in a second, so we’ll need to turn our phones off, but we have our laptop and I think there’s wi-fi.”
Karen took down the hospital details and promised to email shortly. Then she dialed her younger brother and willed herself not to lose it.
“Yo, sis, what’s up?” Music and crackling loudspeaker announcements surrounded Davis’s voice.
She took a deep breath. “Can you go somewhere quiet?”
“Sure, hang on a sec.” The noise muffled for a moment, then she heard shuffling and the click of a door. “What’s going on?”
She never called him. Their communication was limited to text messages, mostly dirty jokes and pokey reminders not to forget about family birthdays. “It’s Chase.”
“Shit, what happened? What do I need to do?” That was the Miller way. Leap to action.
“He’s been…Mom and Dad are with him, but Davis…he’s been in a car accident. He’s in surgery.”
“Where?”
“St. Louis. I’m going to call Audrey next, I think we could probably get a direct flight there this afternoon from Detroit.”
“I’m in San Diego. I doubt there’s a direct flight, but I’ll see what I can do.” He tightened his voice, probably fighting for the same control she desperately needed. They both wanted to do something. Doing might put their panicky adrenaline to good use. “What kind of surgery?”
It took two false starts to force the words out. “I think his legs were injured in the crash. Dad didn’t say, exactly. He probably doesn’t know yet.”
“Fuck!” A loud crash told her Davis had kicked or thrown something across the room. “Does the media know yet?”
Oh, crap. “I have no idea. I hadn’t thought about…”
“I’ll call his agent. When you get to the hospital, try and find a side entrance.”
“No one will know who we…”
“Just in case.”
“Okay.”
“Kar…what was he doing there?”
That was the million dollar question. Chase had given their parents tickets to Game Six of the Stanley Cup series, but after his own team had been eliminated earlier in the playoffs, Karen didn’t expect her brother to go to the game with them. So what had he been doing in St. Louis? “I don’t know.”
“Okay. You’re alright to drive?”
No. “Yes.”
“Be safe.”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll see you later tonight or tomorrow.”
The next call was even harder. Audrey was out for a late diner breakfast with some friends, and started crying right away. She passed the phone to a friend, who promised Karen she’d get her baby sister back to the dorm and pack her an overnight bag.
After doing the same for herself, Karen called Melody and asked her work an extra shift, and call the rest of her staff and let them know she was going to be out of town for a couple of days. Melody didn’t ask why, and Karen didn’t offer, but by the time she was standing on her deck, locking her back door, a text message had come in from Davis. Someone from the team and Chase’s agent were en route to the hospital, since they were already in St. Louis, and given how much media presence there was in the city for the series finale, the accident would probably be breaking news before they got on the plane.
She pushed furious tears off her cheeks. That was the last thing her family needed.
“Karen?” She lifted her head in surprise. Paul was moving across the driveway in her direction, worry etched on his face. “What’s wrong?”
“My brother.” She gulped for air. “He’s been in a car accident in the States.”
“What do you need?”
“Uhm…” Her mind was blank. She shook her head, desperate to focus. “I’m going. I need to pick up my sister in Windsor, then we’ll go to the airport in Detroit and fly to St. Louis.”
“Do you have tickets?”
“Not yet. I was going to do something about that when I got to Windsor and had Audrey with me.”
He flashed a glance at his watch and pulled out his phone. “Come on, I’ll drive you.”
“It’s okay.” She hated how small and pathetic her voice sounded. She was tough. She could do this on her own.
He stopped typing for a second and looked at her like she was an idiot. Except with a bit of affection, which she appreciated. “It’s not okay. Your brother…which one?”
“Chase.”
Understanding flashed across Paul’s face. He could see the massive impact that she couldn’t yet fully comprehend. “Something awful has just happened to your entire family. It’s not okay, and I can’t do much, but I can do this.” He pulled her hard against his body and smoothed his hand over her hair, pressing her face into his neck. “I’ll drive you and your sister to the airport.”
“Okay.” She whispered the word against his skin. Behind her back, he started tapping away at his phone again, and she let the clickety clack from his Blackberry keyboard drift into her head and push away the panic. Whatever he was doing, it was more than she was capable of right then.
A wave of fresh panic swelled from deep in her gut, and before the silent cry turned into something else, Paul had tightened his arms around her and brought his mouth to her ear. “We just need to get to Windsor, baby. Focus on that. Twenty minutes from now, you’ll have your sister to t
ake care of. You going to be able to do that?”
She nodded. Somehow, she’d find the strength.
He led her to his garage, where he stowed her bag in the trunk. Déjà vu washed over her, the action triggering a recollection of their first conversation. She’d never have imagined that he’d be such a good friend. He’d seemed so solitary, barely aware that he was living in a community at all. Oblivious to her, and his place in her life. Or at least, his car’s place in her driveway.
But now…he still had no idea how much she’d come to need him. How much she wanted him, that was no secret. But outside of their chemical reaction…this man had become her best friend. And in two short months, she’d be far away. If something happened—when something happened, because fuck, life was just like that, wasn’t it?—Paul wouldn’t see her out his window. Wouldn’t be next door to drive her to the airport. Wouldn’t—
The press of his hand at the small of her back jerked her attention back to the task at hand. He murmured something about getting his passport, and then he stepped back. She nodded dumbly and slid into the car. It was tidy, just like everything else in his life. Like his life itself. Except for her, the trouble he didn’t want and couldn’t resist. After he returned and pulled out of the garage, she closed her eyes and tilted her face toward the side window. She couldn’t go there right now, but she couldn’t hold herself back, either.
“Thank you.” She cleared her throat. “Do you have time to do this today?”
Low and immediate, his response warmed her core and sparked bits of hope she didn’t want to latch on to. “I’d make time if you needed it. For anything.”
“Even though I’m trouble?”
“I think we’ve established that I like the kind of trouble you bring to my life.” The car shifted as he turned onto the street, and then twice more in quick succession as he navigated the few blocks to the county road that led to the city.
Once they were out of Wardham, he lifted her hand enough to slide his fingers through hers, and rubbed his thumb across her knuckles. She blinked her eyes open and took a deep breath.
“Maybe you should keep resting your eyes,” he murmured. “You might not get a lot of sleep over the next few days.”
“I’m okay.”
“Do you want to call your parents again?”
She shook her head. “They’re in the surgery waiting room. I’ll email them once I know our flight details.”
He squeezed her hand as his phone beeped. “Speak of the devil. Can you check that?”
She picked it up from the center console. She frowned at the display. “You have a text message from your ex-wife.”
He chuckled, then abruptly stopped as he glanced over at her. “Hey, it’s not—”
“No, it’s okay. So very much none of my business.” The words were flat and false on her tongue.
“Read it.” Unmistakable challenge vibrated in two small words.
“Two seats reserved on Delta Flight 1403 at 3:40 pm out of DTW. I need the names from their passports.” Oh. “You did this?”
“Susan’s a travel agent.” He shrugged. “It’s not a big deal.”
Hesitation held her back from stating unambiguously that it was a big deal. It was thoughtful and exactly what she needed. He was exactly what she needed. But that conversation would have to wait, for when she was strong enough to deal with the possibility that need might only run in one direction.
Because Paul wouldn’t be moved by his wants. Hell, he probably would resist a need, too, unless she convinced him.
And that had never been her strong suit.
She’d never fought for anything. Never stood her ground, made her case, and damned the consequences. She’d hid behind what was safe and easy for her entire life, and look where it had led her.
Right to Paul.
Except it hadn’t. She’d been frozen in time, and he’d stumbled across her at the same moment she’d started to thaw. And now her action plan, that she needed to follow, was going to take her away from him. Just for a year. God, she was going to give herself whiplash. Enough.
“That was nice of her.”
“She’s heard good things about you from Megan. She’d probably do it for you even if we weren’t getting along.”
“But you are?”
He reached out and entwined his fingers with hers again. “We are. Probably because of you.”
“What did I do?”
“You set a good example.” He cleared his throat. “That’s probably a conversation best kept for another time.”
Her lips curled into a slight smile. “No, I like where this is going. It’s a good distraction for me, too. You’re doing a public service by being nice to me.”
He dropped their hands to rest on her knee, and the warmth of his forearm resting on top of hers made her stomach flip in the most pleasant way. “You taught me not to shy away from the tough conversations. To push through and expect something good on the other side.”
She bit her lip, and he silently cursed at himself. Now she was second guessing something in her head, and that wasn’t where he wanted to go. He didn’t want her doubting herself. He didn’t want her thinking at all, but that was an impossible fight. Maybe a conversation about their relationship would be an acceptable distraction from what was looming in front of her in St. Louis. Even better if he could re-direct it to a lighthearted place. He’d hit the jackpot if he could give her a little confidence boost at the same time.
“Hey…” He flipped his hand over, releasing her fingers so he could squeeze her knee. “Where did I go wrong?”
“I don’t always do that.”
“The first time we met, you lurked in your front bushes, waiting to ambush me.”
She jerked in her seat, and he chuckled. Mission accomplished. “That wasn’t the first time we met.”
“So you’ve said before. Why don’t you enlighten me?”
Her knee bumped up into his palm as she twisted to look more fully at him, and he took the opportunity to twist his fingers up and under the bottom of her capris. Warm skin stretched over bone and muscle, providing an endless moving playground for his fingers to explore. Did she feel the same spark at the barest contact? Get wrapped up in the same compulsion to constantly touch, to find that physical connection no matter how futile any attempt at a relationship might be?
“There were a couple of times that I tried to talk to you before that afternoon.”
He watched her out of the corner of his eye as she licked her lips, and if she wasn’t in the middle of a family crisis, he’d have pulled over and done it for her. Kiss and lick and bite her lips until she was squirming in his lap, all hot and needy. He cleared his throat again. “I don’t remember.”
Her fingers danced against each other as she pulsed her hands in the air. “I wasn’t successful. One time you were going out for a jog, and ran right past me.”
“I don’t believe it.” At her confused look, he stroked his hand up and over her knee cap before squeezing her leg. Reassuring her, satisfying his own need to touch. Two birds, one stone. “Have you seen yourself? If I didn’t notice you, it’s because of all the fucked up shit in my head, darlin’. Nothing on you.”
“What do—no. Never mind.”
“It’s okay, you can ask.”
“It’s none of my business.”
What’s mine is yours. The truth smacked him in the chest, and he had to fight to keep from visibly reacting. When had that happened? He’d been more open with Karen than anyone else in the past, but she still didn’t know most of the messed up thoughts he had. And now he was an open book? Since when?
Since twelve hours earlier when he’d been balls deep in her, and decided he’d never give that up. Not for anything. Susan and Megan would have to deal. Hell, they’d probably both be pleased as punch. It would only be Karen that would take some convincing.
But he would. Because she was worth it.
Because he loved her.
Fuc
k.
Now was so not the time for dawning awareness. Right now, he needed to be a good friend. He needed to distract her until Windsor, then deliver her and her sister to the Detroit airport. When—fuck, if—her brother pulled through this and her family came out of this crisis without needing too much, then he could lay his feelings on the table. Make his case for a long-distance, take-it-slow-or-whatever, as-long-as-there-isn’t-anyone-else relationship. He’d waited thirty-seven years for her, what was one more?
“Suffice it to say that I had a lot on my mind when I moved to Wardham, and I apologize sincerely for not noticing you sooner.” He winked at her and squeezed her knee again before changing the subject reluctantly. “Do you know what name your sister would have on her passport? You should text Susan what she needs to know.”
Another opportunity lost, his sub-conscious warned. Shut up, he argued back. Stop thinking with your imaginary dick.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
One crying woman would put any man on edge. Two crying women, one of whom he loved, a new realization at that, and the other he’d never met before…it was enough to make Paul want to run for the hills, if only until the sobbing stopped. Except it was Karen, and what looked like Karen 2.0, from the small glimpse he got before the younger woman buried her face in her sister’s shoulder. And they needed to get this shit out of their system before landing in St. Louis, so he stood there awkwardly with Audrey’s friend Liza. She introduced herself while the sisters had their cathartic moment, which Paul appreciated. He quietly asked if Audrey’s bags were handy, and Liza pointed to a backpack leaning against the wall. He loaded that into the trunk and checked his watch. Time to move them along.
After a quick check for passports and international calling plans, because someone had to be practical and it might as well be him, he loaded both women into the car and nodded his thanks at Liza.
Once across the border, it didn’t take long to reach the airport. He didn’t bother parking—their flight would be called soon enough, and he didn’t know how Karen would want to play it in front of her sister. Instead, he stopped in the kiss and fly lane outside Departures, and turned to Karen just as she was reaching to touch his arm. Her pale cheeks and red-rimmed eyes reminded him she was on the edge, but her palm was warm and still against his skin.
