by Leanne Davis
Hailey lay her head on the counter. It wasn’t fair, or pleasant, but it shored up her sense of resolve and love for her daughter. She could be the steadfast parent. She could handle it, especially if it helped Brianna get through it. She would convince Brianna that she was with Hailey no matter what, and forever. Always. She did the right thing in coming to this place. She was even acknowledged and appreciated by this intermittently angry, rude daughter, who didn’t mean half of what she said or did. Brianna was just scared and lost and unsure. For now, Hailey was content to live with that.
She straightened up. She had to stop being distracted by pretty boys whom her daughter had a crush on. Damn. What had she been thinking last night? Temporarily sidetracked by a face that was model-worthy handsome and yes, understandably distracting. But Joey was not for her. Not now. Her kids were in crisis, and she had to fix it for them and herself. She had to gradually work her way through a marriage gone bad; and there was no room for someone like Joey Rydell. She nearly laughed out loud. What was she thinking? He’d be what? Her boyfriend? And do what? Date her? It was impossible for her to imagine or comprehend. As if. Thank God they stopped before anything happened. Okay, to give credit where it was due, he stopped them, but still, it was the same results. Nothing much happened. She had to make sure nothing more ever did. She was grateful for this little bit of thawing in Brianna toward her and the unbridled explosion of smiles and fun she saw in her son.
Yes, that was what needed to happen in their lives now. Not have Joey Rydell as her boyfriend.
****
When she ran into Joey, Hailey’s entire body flooded with heat and her raw nerves tingled. There was no way it wouldn’t have happened eventually, considering he worked there and she was living there for now. They went into the café because Brianna requested it. How could she explain that she wanted to avoid Joey for very personal reasons? Her children didn’t need to be horrified by the reasons she had. So they entered the café. A tall girl with funky, short hair and a strong, athletic build seated them. She chatted pleasantly about their stay as she took their orders. The food was fresh, as usual, and plentiful and filling. All of their meals had been first rate in this place to date. Joey walked in, oblivious to them at first, his gaze was focused elsewhere. When he finally glanced around and spotted them, his eyes skipped over the three of them before remaining steadfastly on her. Hailey flushed and squirmed as if she’d been caught doing something wrong by an authority figure, rather than enjoying lunch with her kids. And despite her ragged nerves and worrying if she might run into Joey, since his office was just a few doors away, she was actually enjoying her kids. Brianna, from the time she got up, had been nice. She was interesting and talkative. Hailey wanted to immerse herself in all the positivity she felt coming from Brianna.
Joey stopped courteously and rested his hands on the back of the empty chair. “Hello, Starr family. Enjoying your meal?” His tone was so casual. He seemed so at ease and normal, but his gaze? Oh, his gaze was so not. His eyes seemed ember-hot and heavy as he stared at her, and she wasn’t imagining that. She nearly asked him outright, Why? Why did he have to look at her in such a way? She wasn’t really worthy of so much scrutiny. She was just an average, middle-aged, mommish woman. Why? Her ordinary thoughts nearly screamed to be noticed as perfectly normal.
Brianna, however, instantly sat up higher in her seat and turned on her smile. Flipping her hair, and fluttering her eyelashes, she tipped her chest forward just enough to reveal a few more millimeters of alabaster cleavage. Hailey frowned at her daughter, and a spurt of anger flashed through her. Even worse, she was jealous. She tightened her fists. No. No. Nope! She refused to be jealous of her daughter’s interaction with the man who merely ran the resort where they were staying. The same man whose hands had recently, oh-so-recently, been cupping her ass. She nearly clamped a hand over her mouth. She needed to get a grip.
Joey made amicable conversation for a few lingering moments, in which Hailey participated before he disappeared behind the kitchen doors. Hailey’s breath nearly whooshed into her chest after the encounter. She had to do something different to end it. She couldn’t continue to indulge this surprisingly odd attraction, flirtation, or whatever one wanted to call it. She could not let it come between them, her kids, with whom she had already gained so many points. Like she needed to add her daughter’s damn crush into the mix.
After eating, they left and she and Jacob wandered down to the beach. Brianna eventually joined them. It was the best, most relaxed, and easiest day they’d spent together in months, maybe even longer. It was the closest thing to heaven for Hailey. Then Charlie and Cami came down to the beach, specifically searching for her kids, and they all went off together. She warned them to be careful but could not help smiling with satisfaction as she watched them scurrying off together through the trees. Of course, they were headed down to the better swim area, the personal beach of the Rydell family. She sighed, watching them vanish before heading up the path back towards her cabin. Her heart swelled with joy and nearly lifted upwards. Brianna was so nice to her today. That was a huge breakthrough for them. Truly.
Lost in her thoughts, relishing her happiness, Hailey nearly screamed when she rounded a corner and ran smack dab into Joey Rydell. He stopped dead, and his hypnotic gaze sought hers, holding it as she stared at him and felt the same gut-deep, gnawing hunger, connection, and embarrassment. Nearly blushing as usual. A grown-assed woman who still blushed over a guy’s smile at her? Get over it. She wanted to scream at herself for not stopping it, but how could she, especially when he looked into her eyes so sincerely like that?
He didn’t say anything, but glanced around, then stepped forward, taking her hand in a subtle, gentle clasp and pulling her forward. When he turned and began to walk, she strangely followed him. She should have stopped, and tugged her hand back, but no, she didn’t. She chose to blindly stumble after him. He was surefooted as a mountain goat, and his hand, oh, that hand gripped hers tightly as she clung to it. She followed as he led her to his house. She realized it was his when they came down a path that wasn’t heavily trampled. It circumvented the guest paths and even those of the family ranch. It ran below the ranch, along the river, and Joey paused only when the back side of his house came into view.
Stopping dead on the edge of his grass, he spun her towards him. She practically melted into his arms, and he slid his hand into her hair as he stared into her eyes. “Do you want to come in?”
No. Remember, no. She had to tell him she absolutely could not do that… whatever that was. Brianna needed her too much. Brianna liked Joey still. Brianna was talking to her for the first time in months. Why would she jeopardize it all just to go into his house?
He kept his dark, copper-colored eyes boldly fastened on hers. What did he intend to do? She held her breath. “I don’t know… my kids…”
“Are off playing with my nephew.”
She held her breath. “Did you come looking for me?”
“Yeah, duh. It was no accident I found you just now. You really don’t get this, do you?”
She nearly bit her lip. “No, I really don’t.”
He tucked her hair behind her ear. “Come in, and sit on the patio. Have a glass of wine and dinner with me. That’s it. Dinner.”
She was lulled and intrigued. It made her oh-so-interested to do something as simple as that. It sounded so innocuous, so okay, so innocent. Just sharing dinner.
Joey added, “We can’t really do it anywhere else, can we? Not without questions. Questions you don’t want, am I right?”
“Yes. But most of them are my questions,” she mumbled.
His head tilted forward and his lips kissed hers in a light, lingering, powerful collision. His lips hovered over hers. “I like you, Hailey Starr. I want to have dinner with you tonight. I might even kiss you a few more times. But nothing else, unless…”
She released a deep breath from her lungs. “Okay. I mean, I guess it can’t hurt. And drinking
a glass of wine with another adult might be nice.”
So nice. With him.
He took her hand again and led her through the back sliding door of his house. There were lots of skylights, flooding the floors with sunlight. Rays of natural light beamed everywhere and shone on the pale flooring, cabinets and walls. It was open and airy, even Zen-like with only minimal furnishings. He ushered her under the covered deck with a patio table. The view was primarily fields of grass, pine trees and patches of the river through the tree trunks. The front of the house wrapped around the deck, giving it a natural privacy screen and blocking it from the rest of the family houses, the ranch and even the distant resort. It was like they were all alone in the woods there. What a setting. Hailey couldn’t believe how lovely it was. Despite the oppressive heat, the ample shade trees made it tolerable. Joey put on some music that softly enhanced the atmosphere. It came from speakers that were installed throughout the overhang. He returned with two stemless wine glasses and an amber liquid inside both of them. He set them down as he sat beside her.
“It’s really something back here.”
He nodded. “Private. Far enough away from all them. I need to have plenty of space. Family is great and all, but I prefer not to involve them in every little thing I do.”
He asked about her house, her job, and the town where she lived. They discussed what grades her kids were entering, and how they did in school. It was so natural and easy as the sun hovered over them, and the river echoed further off. Annoying bugs zipped and zapped close by their ears and faces, but Hailey was unbothered by them. The effortless conversation that flowed between them pleased her no end. Joey sat back, crossing one leg over his knee and he kept glancing at her when he wasn’t observing the view. He seemed very interested in her kids, and asked all about them, accepting them as part of her, along with her hair color, her age, and her personality.
He got up to grill the dinner on the huge, built-in barbeque. He asked her if steak was okay, which it was. She offered to make a salad and he smiled, blushing even, and admitting he had none of the makings for it. But he did have watermelon. She found that endearing. But scolded her damn heart for thumping with glee. She was way too easy.
Hailey began cutting up the watermelon while Joey wrapped some pieces of corn on the cob in foil, but not before bathing them in butter. They drank more wine and talked some more. The sun started to set and she fussed over where her kids might be. Joey texted Charlie and learned they were all still together, heading up to the fire pit. That left her free for a few more hours. She blushed again, thrilled. But she also was slightly unclear as to how she planned to spend that time.
The corn was finally done, and the steaks were grilled to sizzling, mouth-watering perfection. They plied their plates with meat that drizzled yummy juices, with corn and generously added more butter as well as the bite-sized chunks of cool watermelon. It was the best tasting meal Hailey had eaten in a long while. Joey apologized for not planning anything out beforehand and failing to keep a diverse supply of groceries available.
The wine left her feeling warm and pleasant. But now was the time for her to tell him she couldn’t do… this. Whatever this was. There were so many reasons. Reasons she’d gone over so many times, she knew them by heart. Except they seemed so fuzzy and lacking just then. She couldn’t find the right words, despite the opportunity, so she didn’t say anything.
After a while, they got up and took their plates and utensils in. They washed them and put them away, working side-by-side in harmony. There was no discussion between them, and the chore naturally happened in unrehearsed synchronization. It was cohesive. And that didn’t match their ages, their stations in life, or their paths. But here they were now, as if they were playing two sides of a whole performance.
The dishes were done, and the dark continued its steady descent. Hailey glanced at the stove clock. It was time for her to go back to her kids. Even with Charlie’s frequent updates, she didn’t know whether or not they might pop back into their cabin; and how could she explain her absence from there?
The atmosphere became quiet. Too quiet. The silence was as thick as fog hanging in the air between them. She leaned back against the kitchen counter and he hung up a dish towel with exaggerated care. She nearly gulped out loud. She knew she needed to leave. Now. But something held her there; she was practically rooted to the tile floor. Something compelled her to stay. What was it? She had to tell him no, they were nothing to each other. Hailey was almost acting as if she were only a mother and she could not jeopardize that. But yet, there she stood. Not talking. Not leaving. Not reacting.
When she finally cleared her throat, she crossed the room and stared out towards the darkening yard. No lights emanated from it. It was only lit by the stars and the moon. The yard lights from the ranch didn’t extend all the way around Joey’s house. Hailey was grateful for it as it masked her anxiety.
“Brianna asked me today if I would always be there for her. We were talking about Brent; that’s my ex. She sounded so desperate. Asking me to be there for her. I promised her I would, of course. She still needs me. She still needs me to be her mother. That’s all. You don’t understand perhaps, but she can’t have me acting differently, or being distracted. Even if her behavior doesn’t send red flags to others, I understand it, and that behavior is not the real her. That is merely a reflection of her pain. Real pain. I can’t add to that. Not if I want to continue to live with myself.”
She jumped when Joey’s hand touched her shoulder. It felt like a heavy weight on the top of her arm. “This because of the other night?”
She couldn’t force herself to turn toward him. When was the last time she even dealt one on one with a man? Except for Brent? “Yes,” she whispered honestly. She was ashamed, but mostly embarrassed.
“I would never tell your kids anything. Or anyone else. Is that what’s worrying you? It happened. It wasn’t just a moment, at least, it wasn’t for me. It was something I desired, and on so many more levels than what you probably think.”
Hidden in the shadows, Hailey nearly thanked God, because she was pretty sure she could have spontaneously combusted. “I don’t know what you mean.”
His hand lowered to just above her elbow, where he squeezed. “You think I’m a pretty boy who’s just toying with your emotions, or maybe you’re just toying with mine.”
She bit her lip, staring harder outside. Maybe she was. But then again, no. That didn’t fit, and perhaps that’s what disturbed her most. She didn’t think of him like that.
“I do think that, but then again, I don’t. I mean, this is crazy that I’m even here. We are so far apart in the timeline of life. We aren’t even traveling on the same highway. What would be the point if it weren’t… what you just said?”
“Maybe that’s how you see it from your end. But from mine, it’s not like that at all. It’s so much more. I feel things for you that I’ve never felt for any other woman. I know it’s early, and probably too soon, but you also have a lot on your plate. I don’t intend to make that weight any heavier on you. I want you to understand that I don’t see you as someone to toy with. I have never felt a fraction of the intense feelings that I feel around you with anyone else.”
“But why? I don’t understand why. It just doesn’t make sense to me.”
He leaned in closer, his body behind her, the radiating warmth so hot, she could have sworn it was touching her skin. He lowered his hand from her arm to her wrists in the softest, feather-like manner.
“You tell me. You were married before. You’ve been in serious relationships before. I have never even felt the desire for marriage. So how can I explain it?”
She shifted her weight and her body was reacting involuntarily to having his so close behind her. She fought with the strongest, almost impossible to ignore urge to nestle into the inferno that was coming off his body. It compelled her body to move closer to him. She had to consciously tell herself to stop it. That would help nothing here.
Except it made her feel so good. Which wasn’t exactly the responsible reaction. And when was the last time she didn’t do the responsible thing? She didn’t, not ever.
She mumbled, “I’m not sure how to do this with you.”
“Maybe you don’t have to know how. Maybe you could just let things be and see where it goes. Just spend more time with me, if you’d like to.”
“I’d like to,” she interjected.
He laced his hand through her hair. “I’d like you to also. Maybe we can just let it be as deep as that for today.”
She nodded and finally stepped away from him. On the way home, she kept thinking that there was nothing simple about what was starting to percolate in her heart. It was all because of the one man she didn’t want it to boil over on.
Chapter Seven
HAILEY FOLLOWED HER KIDS to the Rydells’ beach, feeling so conspicuous, she was almost tiptoeing as if she was worried someone might halt and arrest her for trespassing. But the kids insisted that Charlie and Cami were meeting them and they had to go there. After she was invited too, she decided to quit being so weird about it. Brianna’s words, not hers. She took comfort in the knowledge that Joey was working, and most likely would not be there.
Coming down the beach trail, she spotted the gorgeous blonde named Kate, who was Jack’s sister, if she remembered correctly. She saw Allison, the big biker Shane’s wife, there. Their little toddler, Rosie, was playing in the sand, scooping it into mounds and digging holes around it.
Charlie and Cami were already there naturally, floating around on inner tubes and calling out in excited exclamations to each other. Hailey felt entirely out of place. But since she was packing her kids’ lunch, towels, and drinks, she ignored her anxiety and carefully set down her bags and the stack of towels. Kate turned at seeing her on the beach.
