“I’ll be there. Hey.” He grabbed me by my backpack and pulled me back toward him. His face was very close to mine, and all I could see were his eyes. He moved his hand from my bag to my neck, stroking lightly, and then used his other hand to gently brush my hair away from my face. “Have a good morning. Be careful. Stay conscious. And give Nell lots of room, okay?”
I could hardly breathe for his nearness, but I managed a brief nod before he released me with a smile. I tossed him a brilliant grin in return and headed to French.
Cara had an empty seat next to her when I entered the classroom, and I hesitated, wondering if it would be pushy to choose to sit there. Before I could decide, Cara saw me and smiled, gesturing to the desk beside her. Gladly I slid into the seat just as the teacher turned to begin class.
Today we were working on written translations as a group. We took turns doing sentences, each one going up to the board in turn to write the English equivalent of the French words. When Cara went up for her turn, I contemplated her thoughtfully. I wouldn’t have pegged her as the daughter of a minister. She was pretty in a way, with her dark blonde hair worn in a short bob. Her eyes were brown, and her features were not remarkable. I realized it was the gentle twinkle in her eye that made her look likable. She was dressed like the rest of the girls, in jeans and a short-sleeved shirt. I tried to remember if I had seen her hanging out with any particular crowd, but I couldn’t recall.
We finished the translations, and Madame assigned our homework. She called a student to her desk to go over some missed work, allowing us to talk quietly among ourselves.
Cara turned to me, smiling. “Are you adjusting to life in Florida yet?”
I smiled, too, ruefully. “Well, it’s different. But I think I’m settling in, thanks.”
She raised her eyebrows at me significantly. “Maybe with a little help from a certain senior?”
I flushed. I had seen looks from some girls, both seniors and juniors, who seemed to resent my relationship with Michael. I remembered Anne telling me that Michael had been the object of much unrequited love. And I knew that those girls were wondering what I had done to ensnare him. It would be impossible to explain that I hadn’t pursued him at all, and I doubted any of them would believe it.
I wondered if Cara could be counted in the numbers of the girls who had sighed after Michael from afar.
“Michael… has been a big help,” I answered carefully. “He was friendly to me from my first day here, when I was feeling very alone.”
I waited to feel skeptical waves coming from Cara, but instead, there was only interest and friendliness.
“It’s hard to be the new girl, isn’t it?” she mused. “Last year was the first time for me. I’d lived all my life in Pennsylvania, and then we moved here. I didn’t know it would be so hard.”
“I’ve been moving all my life. I don’t think it ever gets easier.”
“The worst part was lunch. I didn’t have anyone to sit with, and I decided to just be bold and find a table.” She widened her eyes for dramatic effect and leaned toward me, dropping her voice. “I sat down with Nell Massler and her group. Whoa!” Cara rolled her eyes. “Talk about the deep freeze. They totally ignored me. I went home that day and cried for an hour. I told my mom I was hitchhiking back to Pennsylvania.”
I nodded sympathetically. “I know what you mean. Lunchtime is the worst at a new school. What did you do the next day?”
She grinned. “I went in that morning to my first class and sat down next to a girl who didn’t look threatening. I made myself talk to her until she talked back, and when she did, I groveled and asked if I could sit at her lunch table. I guess she felt sorry enough for me, because she said yes. I’ve been sitting there since, even this year.” She paused, and then went on, “I wouldn’t say I’ve made any best friends, but I don’t sit alone at lunch.”
I smiled. “That was very brave of you. I would still be sitting at a table by myself if it were me.” I glanced up at the clock. Class was nearly over, and I was pleased; I had managed to have a normal conversation without hearing anything from Cara’s mind. Maybe I could pull this off after all.
I thought about inviting her to eat lunch with Michael and me, but before I could, the bell rang. I gathered my books and gave her a quick wave. “See you in History?”
She smiled. “Sure! Try to stay conscious for Mr. Frame’s battle lecture today, okay?”
I laughed and made a face before heading off to Chemistry.
I was determined to maintain a low profile in this class today, but as it turned out, that wasn’t necessary. Nell’s seat was empty.
I sat down next to Liza, who appeared completely engrossed in her Chemistry book. Casey didn’t turn from her desk either. I looked over the notes from the day before, preparing for class. Chemistry was still a challenge to me, even when Nell was absent.
“Tasmyn.” The voice startled me from my absorption, and I jerked my head up sharply. It was Ms. Lacusta, standing quite close to my desk and smiling in her odd way.
I fought to keep myself calm. Ms. Lacusta rattled me almost as much as Nell did sometimes, and today she was much too close to me for comfort. I could feel the troubling waves breaking from her direction.
“I wanted to speak to you about your last quiz,” she continued. “You did very well. I’m impressed with how quickly you’ve caught up here.” She paused, seeming to expect some reply from me.
“Thank you,” I said faintly.
“I think you would be an excellent candidate for my chemistry club,” she continued. “We meet once a week, and we do some—extracurricular Chemistry work. Participation can potentially enhance your class grade, and it will also give you the opportunity to… get to know some of your classmates.”
The idea of spending more time with Ms. Lacusta and Nell (whom I was certain was active in this club) really didn’t sound like fun to me; in fact, it sounded like a nightmare. But I really couldn’t afford to offend this teacher. Not only did she control my grade, she spooked me for reasons I couldn’t explain. I wondered how I could delicately decline. I decided on my old fall back: parental authority.
“I would have to check with my parents first. They’re very strict about my activities. Thank you, though, for the invitation,” I added.
Ms. Lacusta gazed at me for a moment, and then she merely nodded. “Of course. You’ll let me know, then.” She swept up to the front of the classroom and took her normal, ready-to-begin-class stance.
I breathed a careful and quiet sigh of relief. I was absolutely sure that I wanted nothing to do with Ms. Lacusta’s club, and I was fairly certain that my parents would back me up if I presented it to them the right way. They had never forced me to participate in anything, and I doubted they would begin now.
I wondered suddenly if Ms. Lacusta’s invitation had been prompted by Nell’s absence. The weird relationship between teacher and student gave me the creeps, the way Nell stared at Ms. Lacusta, with an odd mixture of awe and cunning, and how often Ms. Lacusta’s gaze rested on Nell.
I caught Casey and Liza exchanging furtive glances, and in my anxiety I heard Casey thinking, Can’t believe she did that… Nell is going to be livid. Marica knows she hates that girl… do I tell Nell? If I don’t, Liza might… Nell will think I’m keeping secrets… so nasty when she’s annoyed…
It was interesting to hear how Nell’s closest friends thought of her. There was more fear than affection, reminding me of the hypocrisy Michael and I had discussed earlier. I didn’t exactly feel sorry for Nell, but it made me wonder about her whole group. Perhaps even sadder than having no friends at all was knowing that the people around you were motivated by something other than friendship.
Michael was sitting outside again today, and I joined him, shaking my head in quiet resignation as I looked at the trays of food. He greeted me with the smile that lit up his face, grabbed my hand and gave it a light squeeze.
“Hey,” he said, looking up at me. “How was your
morning?”
“It was good,” I replied, realizing that it had been. “Nell isn’t here today, so that is one excellent piece of news… you don’t think she left for good, do you?”
Michael laughed. “No, I don’t think she did. Even Nell takes a day off every now and then. I’m glad you got a break.”
“Me, too,” I agreed with heartfelt fervor. “And not only that, I think I might be on my way to another first in my life.”
“What’s that?” He took a big bite of the pasta on the plate in front of us.
“I think I might be making a new friend, all on my own. Not that I don’t love Anne,” I hastened to assure him. “I do, and she’s been so terrific to me. But she’s your friend too, and for me to actually meet someone on my own makes me feel good. I sat next to Cara today in French, and we talked a little bit. I almost asked her to sit with us at lunch, but I wasn’t sure if we’d need some privacy.” I shook my head sadly as Michael leaned toward me in a mock leer. “C’mon, you know what I mean. I thought you might have some news about Amber.”
“I knew what you meant… but you can’t blame a guy for hoping,” he sighed, then sobered. “I’m glad to hear about Cara. She seems nice. She’d probably be a good friend for you, I think. And actually, I did get a chance to talk with Amber.”
My eyes widened. “Really? You did? I thought you were going to chicken out on that. I’m amazed.”
“Chicken out?” Michael’s voice raised in disbelief. “That’s crazy. I told you I’d talk to her if I got the opportunity, and, well, I got the opportunity. She came into the library when I was there for independent study, and I managed to get her by herself.”
“That must have been interesting,” I commented.
“Oh, it was,” he agreed. “I had to turn on the charm.”
“Ahhhh…” I nodded. “I see. So she never stood a chance.”
“Nope,” he said smugly. “Never. Fate threw us together and gave us a study hall monitor who couldn’t care less if we talked, as long as we were quiet about it. So we did. Talk, I mean.”
“And…?” I prompted.
“And… apparently this friendship with Nell isn’t as new as we thought. Amber says Nell has been talking to her, asking her to sit with them at lunch, since the beginning of school. I asked her why on earth she’d want to be friends with Nell, after all the years of torture. She just kind of shrugged and looked—I don’t know, almost guilty. She said Nell explained a lot to her, and now she understands more. And she said Nell can be almost sweet.”
I choked on the fries I was nibbling. “Sweet? Are you kidding me? Are we talking about the same girl?”
“Yeah, I kind of felt the same way, but I covered it up. Amber says Nell has introduced her to all her friends and now, after a few years of being pretty lonely, Amber has friends. And I thought you’d find this interesting, too—Nell has gotten Amber involved in some club that your Chem. teacher runs.”
I was surprised, but I shouldn’t have been. Whatever Nell was up to, I had a strong feeling that it involved this club.
“Isn’t that a coincidence?” I remarked to Michael. “Ms. Lacusta invited me to join her chemistry club today.”
Michael raised his eyebrows. “And what did you tell her?”
I gave him an innocent look. “Why, I have to ask my parents, of course. I would never commit to something without checking it out with them.”
“Of course,” he nodded. “Good idea. Will they back you up?”
“Oh, I think so. I’m not joining their cozy little group, don’t worry. Ms. Lacusta creeps me out big time.”
Michael frowned. “You think she’s involved in this, somehow?”
I shook my head. “Not sure. But speaking of coincidences, I don’t think it’s one that Ms. Lacusta asked me about the club today, when Nell was absent.”
“Do you think she’s afraid of Nell?”
“Not afraid, no, but maybe she thought Nell would throw a fit if she heard her inviting me, and she wanted to avoid…” I searched for the right word. “Unpleasantness.”
“Got it,” Michael said, nodding again.
“So did you ask Amber about anything going on with Nell that’s scaring her?” This was the real crux of the matter, in my opinion. If Amber was stupid enough to want to pal around with a girl who used to make her life miserable, that was her business. It was her safety that concerned me, not her sanity.
“I tried to hint around as much as possible. She starting getting real uneasy when I asked her about the chemistry club and what they do. I said that Nell strikes me as someone who’d be dangerous with chemicals, and Amber—well, she got a little freaky. She told me I didn’t know what I was talking about, and then she blew my cover.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, bewildered.
“She said she knew Nell despises my girlfriend—that was her word, ‘despises’. She said she didn’t know what your problem was, but Nell said you were making trouble in Chemistry class. She said you blamed Nell for things that were your own fault. I couldn’t get her to give me specifics, and then she just clammed up.”
“So do you think I’m crazy?” I asked him. “Now that you’ve talked to Amber?”
Michael shook his head. “I never did think you were crazy,” he reminded me. “But I could tell something’s going on with Amber. When I asked her if Nell would have a problem with her talking with me—because I’m your boyfriend—” even in the midst of this, he smiled at those words,“—she got very upset. She said Nell would never believe me, that Nell trusted her, and she started shaking. And then she just got up and walked out of the room.”
I shuddered. “So she does seem to be afraid of Nell. That fits into place.”
Michael nodded. “Seems to.” He finished the last morsel of food on our trays. “I think we made a good start today. No matter how it ended, I hope she knows that she has someone she can talk to now, if things with Nell get too intense.”
“She’s not the only one who’s living in fear of Nell. I picked up some interesting tidbits from Casey in Chemistry. I get the feeling that Nell’s is a reign of terror, not of love.”
Michael frowned; something was troubling him, but it wasn’t anything he was going to share with me at the moment. He stood, stretching, and I watched him stack our trays. Lunch was almost over, and I was actually looking forward to History today, knowing Cara would be there and Nell would not. It was shaping up to be a decent afternoon.
Michael had to work at the nursery that afternoon, so our ride home was brief. As I slid out of the car, he caught my arm and pulled me back, cupping his hand around the back of head and drawing me closer for a brief kiss.
“I’m glad you’re feeling better today,” he murmured. “Wish I could come in with you… are you sure you don’t want to come over to the nursery with me?”
I smiled against his lips but shook my head. “First, my mom is still a little jumpy after yesterday. She’s going to insist on an after-school nap, I just know it. And second, you know I’d only be a distraction if I went home with you. That’s not fair to your parents. I want them to like me, not resent me.”
Michael chuckled softly. “No way they could resent you. They might harass me, but they think you’re perfect.” He caressed my neck and rubbed his nose against mine. “Of course, I tend to agree with them.”
The glow of happiness and contentment that always appeared when I was with Michael surrounded me. I could sit in the car with him all afternoon… but reluctantly I pulled back. “You’ve got to go to work,” I reminded him.
He sighed. “I know. I’m going. I’ll call you tonight, okay?”
“Yeah…” I moved to the door again, and then turned back. “I haven’t forgotten that you owe me a conversation from yesterday. About the occult in King, and what you didn’t want to say when we were out.”
Michael nodded, his smile fading slightly. “I haven’t forgotten either. Can it wait until this weekend? You could come out to the nurs
ery with me, and we could talk there. I’d rather it happen out of town.”
“Now you’re scaring me,” I said.
“Nothing to worry about. I’ll talk to you tonight,” he repeated. “Have a good nap.”
I rolled my eyes at him as he drove away.
My mind was racing, and I tried to calm down. Where would Amber be right now? And would she believe me even if I did find her?
The first thought that leapt into my mind was: find Michael. He’d know what to do. Where would he be? What class did he have this period?
And why was it so dark if we were in the middle of the school day?
With a jerk and cry, I came awake, still breathless, my heart racing. It was a dream. Just a dream. But it had seemed so real. I tried to remember what I could of the content, beyond the terror that had overtaken me near the end. There was something to do with Amber. Somehow in the dream I knew she was in grave danger, and no one could help her but me. I recalled feeling helpless as I tried to figure out what to do.
The bedside clock read 3:17. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes and tried to stop the shaking in my arms.
Could my subconscious be trying to tell me something? It wasn’t strange that I would be dreaming about the Amber situation, given that Michael and I had spent a good part of the day discussing her. But what I had dreamed seemed not so much a memory or the jumbled flotsam of the day as it did… something else.
I was wide awake and not a little spooked. Jumping out of bed, I turned on the bedside light, which instantly comforted me a little. My room was exactly as it should be, everything in place. I grabbed my laptop from the desk and climbed back under the covers. It was too quiet, I decided, so I found some headphones in the drawer next to my bed, plugged them into my computer and flicked the music onto shuffle. Perfect.
The music reminded me of the chant that I had heard coming from Nell’s head, right before the scary stuff started. Michael had suggested it might be helpful to know more about it, and I hadn’t followed up on that yet. I opened the Internet to my favorite search engine, and then paused. What to enter? Weird chanting? I thought about it for a few seconds before I typed in, “Chanting and the occult”.
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