“They moved out of town, and fast. I think they knew they’d never have any kind of life here. They weren’t from an original family, so it was easy for them to just leave. I heard they ended up getting divorced later, so maybe there was something more than just obsession between him and Mrs. Massler. But again, that’s gossip, and I don’t want to go there.”
For the first time, I felt something more than fear and dislike for Nell. I could picture the little girl she must have been, and I knew that the pain of losing her mother at such a vulnerable age must have been crushing. No wonder her mind was so dark.
“Poor Nell,” I whispered.
“Yeah, poor Nell,” Michael echoed. “Most people have forgotten it now, or at least it’s not in the front of their minds when they think of Nell. But I remember that first year was rough. It was all anybody talked about. And of course, kids are cruel. They called her “witch girl”, and they told her that her mom was crazy—which was probably true of course. But Nell had always kind of worshipped her mother—you know, they were always together. My mother thinks too that Mrs. Massler was probably unstable for a while before everything hit the fan, so that would have affected Nell, too.”
“Did your mother know Mrs. Massler well?” I questioned. I couldn’t picture pretty, down-to-earth Marly being friends with someone who would consciously hurt her child in any way.
“No, she didn’t know her except through work—my parents did some landscaping for the Masslers. The family lived in Mrs. Massler’s old home—a big house with lots of land. Mr. Massler liked to entertain in that huge garden at their house, and he had my parents redesign it for them, about a year before his wife was arrested. But I was talking to my mother about Nell the other day, and she said that even then, although Nell followed her mom around everywhere, Mrs. Massler seemed very… disconnected, I think, was the word she used.”
“Why were you talking to your mother about Nell?” I knew that Michael would never betray my confidence in him regarding my extraordinary talents, but I was curious about their conversation.
“I told her that Nell was really giving you a hard time,” Michael answered. “I said I was worried about you. My mom reminded me that Nell has her own issues, and that they probably… what did she say? Oh, yeah—‘those issues inform who she is and how she acts today.’”
“I’m sure she’s right,” I responded. “Not that it makes it any easier to deal with her, but at least I’m not going around wondering why she’s so nasty. I still don’t know why she hates me, particularly, though.”
“There might not be any reason. Once you’ve become that kind of person, the kind who hates, I think it takes on a life of its own.”
We were both quiet for a time, thinking about Nell and the injustices of life.
Abruptly I broke the silence. “Why didn’t you tell me about Nell before? She’s been making me miserable since I moved here.”
Michael raised his eyebrows. “Would knowing Nell’s story have changed the way you dealt with her?”
I thought about it. “No. Maybe. I don’t know. I might not have been so—you know, I might have been more sympathetic…”
“And Nell would have hated that. She would have known you felt sorry for her, and she would have hated you even more than she does now. Besides, as I said, I don’t like gossip, and at that point, it would have been simply that.”
“But now it’s not?”
“Now… well, I’m still not sure, I told you that. But you tell me. Does knowing what I told you about Nell and her past impact what you think Nell is up to with Amber?”
Reluctantly I nodded. “I think it does. Whatever was in Nell’s mind that day has got to be related to witchcraft. It had that feeling. Girls in a group, in the woods… and the chanting. I wanted to think it was just something like… I don’t know, hazing. But it was heavier than that. It was dark.”
Michael lay back on the blanket. “See, that was what I was afraid of. Now that you know her history, you think it’s a given that Nell would get involved in something like her mom did. But we don’t have any proof of that. I’m not saying that Nell isn’t playing Amber. I’m not saying Nell isn’t bad news. But I really think that given what she saw her mom go through, plying the family trade is the last thing Nell would do.”
I looked at Michael in surprise. “Are you mad at me because I don’t agree with you about this?” He didn’t feel mad, as far as I could tell, just maybe a little frustrated.
He rubbed his hand across his eyes, wearily. “No, I’m not mad at you. I’m—concerned. More about you than about Nell. I don’t buy any of this mystical occult stuff, I’ve told you that. But anyone who messes with it, who goes against the carnie families, seems to come out the loser. I don’t know why. I don’t want you to get involved and get hurt.”
“I promise not to do anything yet, or say anything. I’ll keep an open mind. I want to think about it. But, Michael, I want you to keep an open mind too. If Nell looked at her mom the way you described, if she idolized her—well, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if she wanted to follow in her footsteps.”
Michael sat up, reached over and tucked my hair behind my ear. “Okay. I’ll try. Now—” he stood and offered me his hand to help me up, “—Mom put something in the slow cooker for dinner. She was hoping maybe you’d whip up one of your famous salads to go with it. Are you game?”
I smiled, happy to be needed. “Sure. Want to be my sous chef?”
He pulled me into his arms and kissed me soundly. “Best offer I’ve had all day.”
I worked contentedly in Marly’s kitchen, mixing several varieties of lettuce from her garden and sending Michael for other ingredients. I like an interesting salad, with as many different tastes and textures as possible. While I waited for Michael to bring me some tomatoes, I put together balsamic vinaigrette dressing, leaning out onto the back deck to pull leaves from Luke’s potted herb garden.
As I puttered and mixed, I let my mind wander over our conversation that afternoon. I thought of Michael talking with his mother about Nell and about me. He had never asked me if he could tell his parents that I could hear minds, and I knew he wouldn’t without my express permission. As unhappy as my parents would be, I was tempted to share my secret with Luke and Marly. Although I wasn’t sure I bought into Michael’s belief about the men in his family, I hoped that one day the Sawyers would be my family, too, and I felt they deserved to know the truth.
No, my parents wouldn’t like that. Of course, they didn’t realize that Michael knew, either. My mother questioned me frequently about how I was doing in maintaining my mental wall without making Michael suspicious. I hadn’t had to lie outright yet, and I didn’t think I would. I just hoped that by the time I had to confess, they knew Michael well enough to trust him to be discreet.
When Marly and Luke arrived at the cabin, tired from a long day with plants and people, Michael and I had dinner on the table. Marly greeted us with a grateful smile.
“Oh, aren’t you the best children any parents ever had!” she exclaimed, and I glowed at both the praise and the inclusion. “Just let us wash up and we’ll be ready to eat.”
Conversation around the table was as lively and varied as it always was. Marly was talking about Lela and her upcoming fall break when I suddenly made a connection.
“Oh!” I exclaimed. “Michael and Marly, Lela and Luke. Did you do that on purpose, give them your initials?”
Luke and Marly exchanged glances and Michael rolled his eyes. “Now you’ve done it. You’re going to get the name story.”
“There’s a story?” I asked eagerly. I had my own name story, and it occurred to me that I had never shared it with Michael, let alone with his parents.
“Yes, actually, there is,” Marly said. “We named Lela after my great-grandmother. When I was little, she told me that one day I would have a daughter, and she asked me to name my little girl after her. So we did.” She smiled. “Then there’s Michael’s story…”
/> “He told me he was named after an archangel, isn’t that right?”
“Well, yes, named after and quite possibly by an angel.”
“Mom!” Michael protested.
Marly was unfazed. “Michael, it’s true. Pipe down and let me tell her.” She turned to me. “When I was pregnant with him, I had a dream—well, at least I think it was a dream, but sometimes I’m still not sure…” She looked thoughtful, and then shook her head. “Anyway, I dreamed that I saw a huge, tall man. He looked like he was glowing. And he told me that I was going to have a son, and that we should name him Michael, after the archangel. And so when Michael came, we did.”
“It was a name we liked at any rate,” Luke put in. “We’d given Lela my first initial, so we were leaning toward M names. And an archangel seemed like a good idea, right?”
Michael was shaking his head. “Have you ever heard anything like that?” he asked me.
I shook my head. “No, but I can see you as an avenging angel.” Michael grinned and struck a noble pose.
“Your name is very unusual, Tasmyn,” Marly remarked. “Where did your parents find it?”
I hesitated only a moment. After all, they’d shared their stories; it seemed only right to tell them the truth about mine. “I usually just say my mom read it in a book, but actually, a fortune teller gave her the name.”
“Really?” Marly was intrigued. “Tell us about it.”
“It was before my mom knew she was pregnant with me. They went to a fair or something, and they ended up at the fortune teller’s tent. My parents are so completely not into that kind of thing… I can’t imagine why they did it. But when she read my mom, she told her that she was going to have a daughter named Tasmyn. Both of them liked the name, so they decided to give it to me.” I grimaced. “Of course, they don’t have to live with telling everyone how to spell it and teachers mispronouncing it at every new school.”
“Very interesting,” Luke remarked. “A story you can tell your kids someday—how mom and dad got their names. Wonder what their names will be?”
“Luke!” Marly exclaimed. “Good heavens, they’ve only been dating for a little over a month. Don’t rush them.” She rolled her eyes at us, but Luke just laughed.
“With my family history, I don’t think it’s too soon to talk about the future,” he observed confidently.
“Luke, really,” Marly laughed, but I could tell she wasn’t truly annoyed with him.
“Tasmyn’s not upset at me, are you?” he asked me.
I shook my head. “No, of course not.”
“Nothing to worry about. I was just saying, it’s a funny coincidence that you two kids would be drawn together, given the history of your names.”
Marly tactfully changed the subject. “So, what did you do with your afternoon? I assume you didn’t hang out in the pumpkin patch.”
Michael made a face and we all laughed. “No, we took a picnic to the Christmas tree field and talked about Nell Massler.”
I was startled, since I had no idea he was going to be quite so honest with his parents.
Luke sighed. “Yes, that’s a very sad story. The whole family was essentially destroyed.”
That reminded me of a question I had meant to ask earlier. “Did Nell’s father ever pursue his political career?”
“No, after the incident with his wife, he knew it was all over. There was just too much uproar, not only locally, but across the whole region. No one would touch him, professionally speaking, after that.”
“What’s even sadder,” Marly put in, “is how he reacted to Nell after everything was over. It was like she reminded him of her mother… she does look very much like Alyse—that’s her mother. And so he’s pretty much left her to her own devices all these years. They had a nanny until Nell got too old to need one, but I imagine it must have been a very lonely existence.”
“She hasn’t helped much, the way she treats people,” Michael remarked.
“A little compassion, please, Michael,” his mother admonished. “I know Nell hasn’t been kind to you, Tas, and I’m sorry about that. But I try to remember that her life has been difficult. Maybe she’ll be able to come to terms with that as she gets older.”
“I was wondering,” I began, “whether… well, Michael said her mother was planning to harm this other woman using witchcraft. And if you believe in that, then I can see it being a threat. But if it isn’t real, then wouldn’t it have been pretty—I don’t know, harmless, in the long run?”
Luke nodded thoughtfully. “Well, she wasn’t exactly harmless. Apparently, she had a knife she planned to use on her victim. But the crux of the matter is how much what you believe affects your actions, I think. If Alyse was completely convinced that she had the power to pull off whatever she had planned, I’m not sure how harmless she would have been. I don’t know that I believe in witchcraft, but I do know that the power of the mind is quite strong. I don’t think that we’ve even begun to tap into its true potential.” He smiled at me, his eyes crinkling at the corners, and I wondered if he somehow suspected the power of my own mind. My mental block was so slippery these days anyway, that it would be easy to just take a little listen… but no, that would be wrong.
As if he realized what I was thinking, Michael squeezed my hand under the table. But when he spoke, he addressed his father. “Are you saying you might believe in witchcraft, Dad?”
It was Marly who answered. “Your father and I try to avoid some of the darker elements in King, you know, Michael. We won’t live in town. I knew that from the first time we came here to look at property. This nursery sits on land that was never part of King’s property. I don’t give a lot of credence to the rumors that go around town, but I also know there is far more to the world than meets the eye.”
I nodded in agreement.
My Sunday was wholly consumed with the dreaded shopping. My mother dragged me out of the house and to the mall before noon, and she had me trying on dresses of every style while she examined each with a critical eye.
“Too young,” she would proclaim. Or, with more urgency, “Too old!” Some were too long, others too short. I was getting worn out.
Finally, in the fifth store, she handed me a dress in the softest, silkiest material I’d ever touched. It was a deep green, and it shimmered as I dropped it over my head. The thin straps rested lightly on my shoulders, and the bodice draped loosely but tastefully. The skirt swirled to just below my knees, and as I stood in front of the mirror, I actually felt a stir of excitement when I considered wearing this dress to the dance.
“Oh, Tas! It’s beautiful. It’s perfect! Do you like it?” My mother was effusive in her pleasure when I stepped out of the dressing room stall.
I gave a dramatic little turn in front of the larger mirror. The dress danced around me.
“Yes, I do. I think this is it. Now can we go eat?”
“Shoes first. Eating later.”
Thankfully for my empty stomach, shoes were much easier to locate now that we had the dress decision made. I squealed with true girlish delight when I saw the dainty silver heels. They were simply made—just straps and heels—and delicate. I knew they would set off the dress to perfection.
“And I have a brand new silver purse you can borrow if you like,” my mother offered.
“Sold! Now let’s please eat before I pass out.”
We found a small restaurant in a corner of the mall. The Sunday after-church crowd hadn’t yet arrived, so we had our pick of the tables. We decided to share a chicken and fruit salad and sipped sweet iced tea.
Before my mother even opened her mouth to speak, I sensed that she was feeling reminiscent.
“I can’t believe that you’re going to your first dance,” she sniffed. “It just seems like yesterday that you were my tiny little girl, toddling around…”
“Mom,” I muttered in embarrassment. “I’m just going to a dance, not getting married or joining the foreign legion. Most girls my age have gone to loads of
formals. I’m just backward.”
“You’re not backward. You’re just right. Don’t ever think that.”
I smiled at her over my forkful of fruit. “I don’t, really. I just think it was a matter of finding the right person.” I thought of Michael, and my smile deepened.
My mom sighed. “I do worry. I’ve never seen anything like it. You… actually light up when you talk about Michael, or whenever he’s around. It’s not just your expression, it’s like a glow from inside you.”
“Why would that worry you?”
“Because you’re seventeen years old. You’re not supposed to have this happen so young. You’re supposed to finish school, have a life, and then find that special person.”
“But maybe I am supposed to have this happen now. Maybe that’s the way my life is supposed to work. And I do have a life, already,” I added.
She was quiet, eating and thinking. “I don’t want you to be hurt, and I can’t see how it can be avoided. I can tell that you feel strongly about Michael, but you’re very inexperienced. So much of life is in front of you. Circumstances are bound to pull you apart. Look, even next year, Michael’s heading for college. You have to accept that things will change.” He’s going to go off to school and leave her here, with a broken heart. I don’t know how to stop that from happening.
Panic filled my heart. “I can deal with change. I’ve been handling that all my life. But did you ever think that maybe we won’t be pulled apart—we might be able to handle it, together?”
My mother nodded. “We’ll see. Tasmyn, I just want you to remember that this is your first relationship. So have fun, be young while you are young. Try not to be so intense. That’s all I’m saying.”
It might have been all she was saying, but she continued to think pretty loudly for the rest of the afternoon.
Chemistry had been so quiet for so long, in terms of Nell and Ms. Lacusta, that I had gotten lulled into a sense of complacency. Ms. Lacusta hadn’t mentioned her chemistry club to me again; I hoped she had either forgotten about it or decided I wasn’t the right material after all. Nell never turned around, never looked at me; it was as though I had ceased to exist in her mind. And Liza had perfected the art of completing a lab without speaking a single word to me.
King Series Box Set Page 18
