Rafe’s eyes burned. “I’ll take care of anyone who says anything about you. Believe me, I can manage that.”
“Don’t you see, Rafe, they’re not going to say anything in front of you. They’re thinking these things. You can’t go around beating up people for what they’re thinking. And—and maybe they’re right.” My voice dropped, and I swallowed a sob. “Maybe I am—kind of easy, to go from being so involved with Mi—with one person to another that fast.”
“Don’t say that.” Rafe swore quietly. “You know that’s not true.”
“I don’t know it. I do know...Rafe.” Finally I raised my eyes and met his. “I’m not being fair to you. What I said to you before—last fall—it’s still true. I may not be with Michael now”—oh, that hurt—“but he’s still it for me. He’s the only person I’m ever going to love. Even if I’m alone for the rest of my life.
“I like you. I even—I admit, I enjoyed what we shared this weekend. But afterward, it makes me feel horrible. Guilty. And it’s not fair to you.”
Rafe gazed down at me steadily. “You say that right now. You’re still getting over Michael. I get that. But you don’t know that you could never love someone else.”
I shook my head. “Yes, Rafe, I do know-”
“Give me a minute,” he interrupted. “I won’t push you. I won’t pressure you. But let me stay close, and maybe one day you’ll realize that you’re ready to move on. Does that sound reasonable? And meanwhile, you’ll have someone you can talk to—and don’t forget, I’m keeping you honest on the whole witch deal.”
I looked around the hallway quickly. “Shhh—don’t say that so loud!”
Rafe shrugged. “Not afraid of her. Anyway, do we have a deal?”
I thought for a moment and then nodded slowly. “Okay. But just remember that I warned you. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, Rafe.”
“No problem. Hey, you want to hang out after school?”
I shook my head. “Can’t. I’m working. You know—working.”
Rafe rolled his eyes. “That’s right. More time with the-” He saw my raised eyebrows and stopped. “Well, you know. Okay then, call me right afterward. If I don’t hear from you by dinner, I am driving to your house. Got it?”
“Got it,” I answered.
Rafe squeezed my shoulder briefly and dropped a quick kiss on my forehead. When I made a move to protest, he threw up his hands and backed away down the walk. “Hey—friends! See you later. Be careful!” Those last words were spoken with extra emphasis.
“I will,” I called after him. But I wondered once again whether being careful was really an option anymore.
Hey, Tasmyn. I hope you’re doing okay. I’m hanging in there. Had a test today in English Lit. I don’t think I bombed it, but it wasn’t my best effort. Guess I missed my best study helper. Well, I miss you for more than your literature skills. I love you. Call me.
I’m not exactly directionally challenged, but trying to find Marica’s house that afternoon took a little time. I pulled into her driveway and hurried up to the door, a little out of breath.
Marica met me with a blank gaze. I offered a weak smile and began to apologize for being late, but she cut me off.
“What did you do this weekend?” she asked, her eyes narrowing.
I looked down, feeling my face grow warm. “I...I did homework, and chores. I spent Sunday with my parents...”
She regarded me without comment and then stood aside to allow me to come inside. But if I thought she was dropping the subject, I was quite wrong.
“You were with the Brooks boy.” It wasn’t a question at all, and she wrinkled her nose slightly, as though she smelled something extremely unpleasant.
Guilty as charged. I tried to think of a good explanation. “I went to see a band with him on Friday night.”
“That’s hardly all you did. He was all over you. You...reek of him.”
“He wasn’t—we weren’t-” Flustered, I tried to formulate a response. “We just went on a date. Well, two.”
Marica eyes flickered up and down me, and I felt annoyance and contempt rolling off her.
“I thought I warned you about that boy,” she said at last. “He’s nothing but trouble. In fact, in my opinion you’d be better off avoiding those types of entanglements altogether. They are distractions, and they sap your strength and power.”
Now I was annoyed. “What I choose to do when I’m not with you is my business. You’re not my mother. I’m here because I choose to be, not because anyone is making me.”
Marica was quiet for another long moment, and then she shrugged. “I’ve warned you. If you don’t mind being manipulated by him-”
I frowned. “What do you mean, manipulated? He asked me out, I went. We’ve been friends for a few months.”
“Oh, Tasmyn, you’re still so innocent. Even after all you’ve seen and been through, you believe the best of people and refuse to see what might be very wrong. You may have gone out with the Brooks boy of your own volition, but what happened when you were with him—that’s a different story.”
A chill was creeping down my spine. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. He didn’t start anything. It was actually me who-”
Marica laughed, but there was no humor there. “I have no doubt that it was. But doesn’t it seem a little out of character for someone like you—kind and good and loyal as you are—to suddenly throw yourself at a boy, when your heart is still breaking over Michael?”
That she wasn’t wrong—not completely, anyway—gave me pause. I moved into her small living room and sank into a chair. “How did you know?” I whispered. “I mean, that. . that anything happened between us?”
Marica remained standing, but her expression softened almost imperceptibly. “Powers leave a trace. I could see it on you.”
That made sense. I thought of Rafe last week, knowing that I’d been up to something new and different with Marica.
“So what do you think he did?” I asked.
“Tell me everything that happened,” she commanded, not unkindly.
And so I did, sharing everything from Friday afternoon at lunch until he had dropped me at home on Saturday night. I did leave out my accountability agreement with Rafe; somehow it didn’t feel right to reveal that.
Marica nodded. “He lowered your resistance to him. It made it possible for you to do things he desperately wanted, even if you couldn’t really explain why.”
I dropped my head into my hands. “I trusted him. How could he do that to me?”
“It’s the nature of boys—of men. They live to take away our power, to make us weak. It’s why we have to stay away from them. Do you understand me now?”
I nodded, not really sure what I was feeling at this point.
“Then let’s get to work. The best remedy for this sort of thing is channeling it into your energy, as you know.”
And maybe she was right, because that day, I was able to lift the orb and move it around the room as though I had been born to do it. I didn’t think of Rafe, or of Michael.
When we had finished playing with the orb, Marica asked me how I was feeling.
I threw out my hands. “Wonderful! No headache, no fatigue. Let’s do some more.”
Marica laughed, such an odd sound when it was coming from her obvious delight rather than derision or disbelief.
“All right! We’ll try something new. But we cannot do it here. We need to be outside.”
I glanced dubiously out the window into Marica’s small backyard. “Seriously? Won’t your neighbors wonder what’s going on?”
Marica shook her head at me. “No, obviously not outside here. The best place is the clearing.” At my look of apprehension, she placed her hands on my shoulders. “It’s time, Tasmyn. I knew we had to return there, but I’ve been waiting for your strength to build. You’re ready.”
I wasn’t so sure myself, but I agreed to follow her out to the woods that surrounded Lake Rosu.
Th
ere weren’t any cars in the small gravel parking lot when we got there. I thought about the last time I had been there—when Reverend Pryce had dragged me to his car from the woods. And I remembered being there with Michael. It seemed like a lifetime ago.
Marica stood waiting at the path that led into the woods. I joined her, and we walked silently until we reached the boulder that marked the turn off toward the clearing.
“What are you feeling?” she asked me at last.
I hesitated, taking a quick stock of my own emotions. “A little trepidation. But more anticipation. Not like last time, you know? I’m ready to go further, Marica. I want to know what I can do.”
“Good.” Satisfaction oozed from that single word. We pushed through some of the brush and stepped into the open area just beyond. Marica scanned the ground carefully and then decisively moved toward a spot in the center of the grass.
“Go over there, on the far side,” she instructed me, pointing to the trees directly opposite me. “Find three large rocks.” With her hands, she indicated the size the rocks should be. “Bring them right here and lay them down.”
A little confused, I did as she directed and found three rocks that seemed to be right. I carried them one at a time and lay them at her feet.
“Perfect.” Marica leaned down and adjusted the rocks so that they formed a sort of triangle, each about five inches from the other. She stepped back several paces and beckoned for me to join her.
“Now...open your mind. Feel me here, establish the connection.” I stood next to Marica and closed my eyes. Lowering all the boundaries, I reached until I felt the familiar edges of her mind. I relaxed into the joining, hearing the quiet Romanian chanting that was almost comforting to me now.
Fire, Tasmyn. Think of its power, its energy. Envision it. Feel it.
I pictured fire, remembering at once the day that Reverend Pryce had taken me from this very clearing and Marica had erected a wall of flames meant to protect us. I remembered too the fire that Nell had called forth the day she had me bound in this same spot, the fire that was meant to refine the athame in preparation for the sacrifice. The sacrifice of my blood...
“Focus, Tasmyn!” Marica’s voice sharpened, pulling me back to concentrate on the image of fire. I could see it in my mind, could feel the heat, could hear the crackling.
“Now...cast that energy to the triangulation. To the rocks. Do it, Tasmyn!”
I could feel what she wanted me to do even more clearly than I heard her spoken words. With every bit of strength I possessed, I mentally threw the image of the fire toward the rocks, and then opened my eyes just a little to see what had happened.
A thin wisp of smoke rose from the rocks. Nothing like what I had pictured in my mind, and certainly nothing like Nell’s or Marica’s work. I scowled.
“Keep your concentration, Tasmyn! Close your eyes. Try again. See it. . feel it...join yourself to the elemental magic, and to me...”
This time I could even smell the fire. As I mustered all my energy to cast the fire into the stones, I felt Marica join me, giving me just that little extra push.
A familiar burst of power swept over me, and I gasped. I was suddenly back on that day when Nell had tried to kill me, and I felt all over again the sensation her own fire casting, even as I tried to block the memory.
“Open your eyes, Tasmyn. See what you’ve done.” Marica’s voice was so full of satisfaction and triumph that I didn’t need to hear her thoughts, and I wasn’t at all surprised to see the roaring fire in the center of the three rocks.
“How do you feel?” she inquired, as she had back at her house.
“Fine. Wonderful. Full of...I don’t know. It didn’t feel so much that the power left me as that it...multiplied.” I turned a reproving look her way. “But you cheated. You helped me. I felt it. How much did I do on my own, really?”
“Plenty. I only. . steadied you.” She drew in her eyebrows, thinking. “Did you learn to ride a bicycle? And did your father run alongside you, holding the seat until you could keep balance on your own?” When I nodded, she smiled. “There. That’s what I did. It was still completely your own accomplishment. I only ran alongside for a time.”
“But will I be able to do it on my own? Eventually?”
Marica smiled. “So much of the power is driven by our emotions, by how we channel them and control them. If you were under attack or in danger, you would be able now to cast fire—as large as you needed. You were remembering the last time we were here, weren’t you? I called forth that wall of flames because I was angry. I used it as protection.”
I smothered the retort that threatened to rise. The wall of fire had protected Marica but hadn’t prevented the good reverend from trying to drown the evil out of me. Although in theory I understood Marica’s motivation for not doing more to help me that day, it still hurt a little.
But that was incidental today. I was fascinated with what I had done, but at the same time, I was impatient. Marica was vague when it came to goals. I wanted to know if all this practice and new power was leading toward something.
“So now I can cast fire. Very cool. What’s next?”
Marica laughed, and it occurred to me that she had done that more today than ever before, at least in my experience with her.
“So eager! Tasmyn, I am thrilled beyond the telling of it that you are so anxious to continue your learning. At times, you exceed all my expectations. But we must pace ourselves. You have conquered one element, and that’s a wonderful start. But you still must work on three more, and the challenge will be great. So for now, your assignment is to keep practicing. Work on what you can do, and then. . we’ll see.”
I had to be satisfied with that answer, but I was still a little confused. “How do I practice fire casting? It’s not something I can do in my room at home, or in school.”
“Certainly not!” Marica answered. “No, you must be some place completely safe. Come back here, to the clearing, if you wish. We’ll have to move the stones for now, in case someone were to come back here, but now you know what to do.”
I glanced at the still-roaring flames. “How are we going to put that out? We can’t just leave it burning.” I was thinking of all the Smokey the Bear lectures I’d sat through in elementary school.
Marica smiled. “Go to the fire. Move one of the stones—ever so slightly.”
Tossing her a dubious glance, I walked toward the three rocks. It was difficult to get near enough to touch one of them, with the heat that the fire was giving off, but I managed to nudge one of the stones out of position with my foot.
Instantly, the fire was gone. The earth beneath it was blackened, the grass burned, but the flames themselves had disappeared as though they had never existed.
“It was a mystical fire,” Marica explained. “Once you destroy the triangle, the fire is gone as well.”
I drew my brows together. “But do you always have to make the stone triangle when you cast fire? I think Nell did, that day she had me here, but you didn’t.”
“The triangle makes it easier, particularly in the beginning, and if you’re using the flames for magiks—as Nell was that day, for purifying the athame—it’s necessary. Don’t be concerned, Tasmyn. You won’t need the crutches for much longer.”
As we left the clearing and trudged through the woods toward the parking lot, my mind wandered back to Rafe and Marica’s accusations. I glanced at my watch and decided it was still early enough to make a small detour on the way home. It was time for Rafe to understand the consequences of playing with fire.
Hey, Tas. Rough day. I don’t really know what else to say. If I start talking, I’m going to say more than I should. So I’ll just say...I love you, still. Call me.
Rafe lived with his grandparents in the oldest section of King, among the largest homes in town. I’d been there twice, and I had a vague idea of how to find the house. I knew it wasn’t far from Lake Rosu. Once I was in the right neighborhood, I cruised the streets slowly unti
l I recognized the stately home, perched slightly above the others around it.
Rafe’s car was at the top of the driveway, so I assumed he was home. It was almost dinnertime, and I remembered his threat to drive to my house if I didn’t call to report. Maybe dinner was served later at the Brooks home.
Before I could lose a good grip on my mad, I pulled my car up next to his and strode toward the huge front door. Heavily carved, it was obviously very old, though it had been carefully maintained through the years. I knocked as hard as I could.
And waited. I didn’t hear anything from within, which I decided didn’t really tell me anything; the thickness of the door would have kept all noises within. I saw the button for the doorbell, hidden discreetly within a side panel. I hesitated only a moment before pressing it.
This time I wasn’t kept waiting. The door swung open silently, and a woman in an understated gray dress stood in front of me. Her guardedly pleasant expression didn’t change, but I knew her eyes were moving discreetly over me.
“May I help you?” Her tone of voice, as careful as her expression, and her relative youth confirmed to me that this was not Rafe’s grandmother; her thoughts backed this up as well. A housekeeper, maybe? Did people still have those?
“I’m a friend of Rafe’s. Is he home?” Normally I might have been somewhat cowed by this woman, but today, I was angry enough at Rafe that I was barely hanging onto courtesy.
Her eyes widened in a combination of surprise and recognition. “You must be Tasmyn. I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were expected. Please, come in.”
That she knew my name surprised me, and I stepped into the huge foyer without noticing much. As the lady in gray closed the door behind me, I hastened to correct her.
“I’m not really expected. I mean, I just stopped by to see Rafe on my way home. If it isn’t a good time...” What if they were in the middle of dinner? I might be mad at Rafe, but I didn’t want to be rude to his grandparents, who might be perfectly lovely people.
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