“So you think I should stay away from Carruthers?”
Caroline laughed. “Tasmyn, you’ve been through more in the past two years than most people survive in a lifetime. I would never presume to tell you what you should or should not do. I’m just sharing my thoughts with you, which I assumed was your reason for calling.”
I sighed. I did miss Caroline Brooks and her acute no-nonsense approach. It was a shame she would never be my grandmother-in-law, but I was glad to keep her as a friend.
“It was. Thank you, Mrs. Brooks. I appreciate you telling me what you know.”
“Always my pleasure, Tasmyn. I’m very happy that you’re doing well up there, but I must say that I miss you. It’s very quiet around here these days.”
The back of my neck prickled, but I couldn’t stop myself from asking anyway. “Quiet? Isn’t–is Rafe not at home? Did he go away to college after all?” During our brief time together, Rafe and I hadn’t talked about the future. I knew he had applied and been accepted to several colleges; although he didn’t like to make a big deal about it, he really was incredibly intelligent. But when I’d mentioned going to school, he always said that he wasn’t sure college was for him.
“He did not, no.” Caroline’s voice was suddenly guarded. “He delayed admission for a year.”
“Oh.” The silence between us was heavy.
“Tasmyn, I understand that on some level, you still care for Rafe. And if that is true, I would ask you to stay away from him. Please don’t ask me about him. I enjoy the friendship that you and I share, and I would hate to have that complicated by my loyalty to my grandson. You followed your heart. But Rafe’s is broken, and he needs room and time to heal. If you were to reach out to him in any way, even in a misguided attempt to help him or to ease your own guilt, he would respond. He can’t help himself. But it would be disastrous for both of you. So please...feel free to call me, to stay in touch. I like you, Tasmyn. I’m interested in your future. But my first priority is and always will be Rafe.”
Tears stung my eyes. Caroline’s honesty was painful, but she wasn’t wrong. “All right,” I answered, struggling to keep my voice even.“I won’t mention him again.”
“Thank you, Tasmyn. You will always have a special place in my heart, dear. And so I will just suggest that you exercise extreme caution in your dealings with Carruthers. If you choose to go forward, do it with your eyes wide open.”
“I will,” I promised. “Thank you, Mrs. Brooks.”
After I hung up, I sat for a long while under that palm tree. My stomach was churning and my mind spinning. Talking with Caroline took me back to those days when Rafe was the only person I could trust. I knew that the complete break I made was the right thing to do, but it still hurt.
The days between Michael’s appearance at my door and the end of the school year had been both heaven and hell for me. Michael, finished with finals and home for the summer, dropped me at the school each morning and picked me up every afternoon. With my parents’ blessing, we worked together at the nursery. I didn’t go back to my old place at the nursery shop; with my powers still too volatile, I was afraid to be around anyone who didn’t know what I could do. Instead, I worked out among the plants with either Michael or Marly.
That part was heaven.
During the school days, I stuck close to Amber, concentrated on classes and tried to tune out the speculation that continued to run through the minds of my classmates and teachers. Most of them were leery of me. There were rumors that I’d tried to kill Amber, that Rafe, Amber and I had been part of some kind of bizarre love triangle, or that Marica was the one in love with Rafe, and in a jealous rage, had tried to kill me. Well, there was an element of truth in even the most ridiculous stories. I had nearly killed Amber, and subsequently, Marica had tried to kill me. Or at the very least to incapacitate and kidnap me. I found it hard not to laugh at the idea that Marica was having an illicit relationship with Rafe—that was so off-target.
But that was the only remotely amusing part of my day. Rafe’s pain and bleak isolation was overwhelming, even though I carefully avoided any interaction with him at all. He blocked me completely from his mind, but he couldn’t control his feelings, and our previous intimacy made me more susceptible to them. I ended each school day in utter exhaustion, working hard to put on a happy face when I climbed back into the Mustang. I couldn’t share this with Michael; I felt his pain even more acutely, and I knew the two together would destroy me.
And it was short-term, at any rate. I struggled through, and I worked hard to keep from lashing out with magicks. Graduation day arrived at last, and if I were a bit more emotional than my classmates, no one noticed.
After the ceremony, we were all herded outside the gym onto the school lawn. Amber grabbed me for a quick, tight hug.
“We did it!” she crowed. “We made it through King High without dying!” I laughed and shushed her at the same time, even though no one was paying any attention to us at all. A few other girls patted me on the shoulder, beaming. Clearly drunk on the bliss of being finished with high school, they temporarily forgot that they were afraid of me.
Then I felt it: that heaviness squeezing at my heart until I had almost no breath. I turned, and Rafe was standing behind me.
For just a moment, his eyes were unguarded and I saw the naked longing and grief. And then he was back in control, thoughts blocked, eyes distant and sardonic.
“Congratulations, Tasmyn,” he said quietly.
I didn’t know what to say. I licked my lips. A wave of desire rolled out from Rafe and nearly dragged me under. I took half a step back.
“You, too, Rafe,” Amber said. She stepped around me and pulled Rafe into an awkward hug. A smile hovered around his lips for just a moment as he gripped her shoulders.
“Thanks, Rafe,” I echoed. “Glad to be done. It was touch and go there at times, wasn’t it?”
His lips curved into that half-smile that always tugged at my heart. “Sure,” he answered. “Never a dull moment.” He glanced around us, as though looking for the next topic of conversation.
“What are you doing after?” Amber rescued us once again. I just loved that girl.
“Ah, my grandparents are having a family party, back at the house. You’re welcome to come if you want.” He shrugged. Under different circumstances, I would have gone without hesitating. Of course, now it was impossible.
Someone called Amber, and she turned to greet another classmate. And Rafe and I were alone in the middle of our shouting, jostling fellow graduates.
“What are you doing?” he asked me, just above a whisper. “I mean, in the fall. Are you going to college?”
I forced a smile. “Yes. Going to Perriman. That’s the plan.”
“Of course.” He shifted, and I thought for a second that he was going to turn to leave. And then he looked over my head. If I thought his eyes were cold before, they were now frozen.
“Tas!” Michael scooped me into a huge embrace before kissing me senseless. “Congratulations, high school graduate!”
If I had harbored any doubts, any misgivings, during these few moments with Rafe, any thoughts that I had made a mistake—they instantly vanished. When Michael held me, I felt so complete and so full of peace and joy. This was where I belonged.
I turned in his arms to face Rafe. “Michael, you remember Rafe. We were just talking about college.”
Michael’s arms tightened and I heard the fierce protectiveness of his thoughts. But he smiled.
“Sure. Rafe, congratulations.”
Rafe’s mouth twisted, but it could hardly be called a smile. “Thanks. You too.” None of us had to ask why he was congratulating Michael. His eyes darted down to me, still murky and unreadable.
He turned to go, and Michael reached out to grab his arm. Rafe stilled.
“Hey, man, I want to say—thank you. For—you know. Taking care of...things.”
Rafe answered through clenched teeth. “Don’t thank me.” He
pulled away from Michael’s hand and disappeared into the crowd.
That was the last time I saw Rafe.
Cathryn was very efficient. When I told her that my parents and Marly were arriving on Friday night, she immediately arranged a Saturday morning breakfast meeting.
“Of course, we will be your hosts,” she told me. “We have a beautiful executive dining room at the Institute.” Her words reminded me of Caroline Brooks musing about Carruthers’ profit status.
“Cathryn always used to talk about her family’s business,” Michael remarked at lunch on Friday. “I guess this is what she meant. She said it was some kind of consulting firm.”
“I don’t get why she was in the botany department if she already has a job,” I said. The closer the arrival of our parents came, the more annoyed I felt. I couldn’t pinpoint exactly why; I loved my parents and Marly. But somehow this time, it felt as though they were intruding on the life that Michael and I were just beginning to establish.
“She really does have a gift with plants,” Michael answered. “And she loves it. I think it’s more like a hobby for her.”
“So she works for Carruthers, she has this gig as the alumni liason, and she has a degree in botany?” I couldn’t keep the arch tone out of my voice.
“Hey, I thought you liked her now,” Michael said, reaching across the table to rub my hand.
“No, I don’t like her. I just know more about her.” I turned my hand over and laced my fingers through his. “She likes you. More than that, she wants you. I wonder...” I let my words trail off as a thought struck me.
“What do you wonder? You’re frowning.” Michael brushed a fingertip over my forehead. I caught his hand and leaned my cheek against it.
“What if Cathryn is just using this Carruthers idea to pull me away from you? She’s known what I can do for a long time, but she’s only just now tried to recruit me.”
Michael laughed. “Really? Wow, I’m flattered. You seriously think she’s courting you for her family’s company just so she can get at me?”
“Stranger things,” I retorted, eyebrows raised.
“I think you’re forgetting something pretty obvious. If Cathryn wanted me so badly, why didn’t she make a move last spring? When you and I...” He tightened his grip on my hand. “I spent time with her. We had coffee, dinner a few times. She made it clear that she was available. But she never pushed.”
“Hmmm.” I was still skeptical.
We met our parents in the lobby of my dorm at six o’clock. Marly hadn’t seen my room yet, and after a brief tour, we all went out to dinner at the pub in the center of town.
“That’s where I had lunch with Cathryn.” I pointed to the small café as we passed it.
There was silence in the car, and then my father spoke up. “She called us this week to introduce herself and confirm times for this weekend. I have to say--” he paused, and my mother took over.
“She actually seems very business-like, very astute. She said she understood our reservations and misgivings. She wants us to meet some other families.”
Next to me, Michael squeezed my hand.
After dinner, my parents were ready to head back to their hotel. Marly was staying with Michael in his suite, and she sent Michael back to his room as my parents drove away.
“Go make sure everything is ready for me,” she instructed. “I know about college boys and their dorms. At least air the place out.”
Michael rolled his eyes. “Just come out and say it, Mom. You want time alone with Tas. Since when do you try to play me?”
Marly swatted her son’s arm. “Don’t be smart, boy. I agreed to stay in that room with you. And yes, I do want a little girl talk. So go. Shoo.”
“I’ll walk her back over,” I put in. “It’s such a pretty night. And then you can walk me back here while Marly settles in.”
Marly sank onto a bench in the dim lights of the courtyard outside my dorm. “You’re right, it’s a beautiful evening.” She patted the seat next to her. “Come here, sit down.” When I joined her, Marly flung an arm around my shoulders and hugged me. “Oh, I miss you! I miss all my kids, but you know, I feel like I got cheated out of your last year with me.”
When I dropped my eyes in remorse, Marly patted my leg. “I’m not trying to make you feel bad, sweetie. I’m so happy you and Michael are adjusting to life here. I can see a difference in the two of you already. It makes me happy.”
“I miss you and Luke, too,” I admitted. “But I love being up here with Michael. It feels—just—right, you know?”
Marly laughed softly. “I do know exactly what you mean. When I was going to college and Luke was working near me...I remember what that felt like. We were on the verge of really starting life.”
“That’s it,” I agreed. “Like we’re finally ready to start our real lives.”
“And now you have this new opportunity. How do you feel about that?”
I raised one shoulder. “I’m not sure. At first, I thought absolutely not. I don’t want anything to do with using my powers on a regular basis. I mean, after Marica? No, thanks. But then...” I tilted my head, staring at the brick walkway. “But then I thought, well, maybe. If this will help me use what I can do to really help people? That would be pretty cool. And maybe it would make me a better person.”
“Tasmyn, you are a good person. Using your ability to help people sounds like a great idea, but please don’t think you have to made amends for anything.”
I sighed. “I hurt people, Marly. I was horrible to you and Luke and Lela, and what I put Michael through...and then there’s Amber, and Cara and her family, and Nell in a coma...” I shook my head. “Not to mention my own parents, who can’t even trust me.”
Marly pulled me into another hug. “Stop that right now. Yes, you made mistakes. We all do. Because of your gifts, you probably had the potential to make those mistakes on a larger scale than the rest of us. But you’ve also done some pretty amazing things, Tas. You saved Amber’s life. You kept Nell from killing her, which probably saved Nell’s life. Cara and Reverend Pryce made their own choices. It’s fine to admit your own stumbles, but don’t appropriate those that belong to other people, okay?”
I sniffed a little. “Okay.” We sat together for a few more minutes. Without meaning to, I fell into Marly’s thoughts. So glad to have this time. Poor thing, so much on her shoulders. Michael needs to make sure...ouch!
I jumped as Marly smacked her leg. “I think that mosquito just nailed me, but I got the ultimate revenge.” She brushed the dead bug off her hand. “We better start walking before they eat us alive.”
“Are you coming to breakfast with us tomorrow at Carruthers?” I asked as we crossed the campus.
“Oh, yes. I wouldn’t miss it. I want to meet this mysterious Cathryn Whitmore.”
I snorted, and Marly laughed. “I take it you’re not a fan?”
I flipped a hand and shook my head. “I don’t know. She’s been kind of snotty to me up until this week. She always makes me feel clumsy and young and naive.”
“Ohh. One of those.” Marly nodded knowingly.
“Yeah. And she likes Michael. I mean, she really likes him. You know.”
“I had a hunch about that. He mentioned her quite a bit last spring. I was just happy he had someone up here to talk to...” She slid a glance at me. “But I never worried. Michael is a one woman man, and honey, you’re that one woman. Never doubt that.”
I sighed. “Tell me that again tomorrow after you meet Cathryn.”
The ever-efficient Cathryn had sent my parents and Michael directions to the Carruthers Initiative Institute. Breakfast was scheduled for ten o’clock—“Really, more of a brunch,” or so said Cathryn—and we left Perriman by nine. My dad drove, my mom rode shotgun, and I sat in the back between Michael and Marly. Michael held my hand, his fingers caressing my wrist, and every now and then, Marly reached over to pat my leg reassuringly.
I don’t know what I expected, but it w
asn’t the small, tasteful wooden sign alongside the road. My father turned onto the narrow paved road, through the trees that gave way to an expanse of manicured grass. Just over a small rise, a large white house came into view.
“Are you sure we’re in the right place?” I asked.
“Oh, yes,” my mother answered. “Cathryn said the headquarters is in an antebellum home, on a large property. This has to be it.”
I glanced sideways at Michael and raised an eyebrow. Clearly Cathryn had already won over my usually-vigilant parents.
We pulled into the circular driveway, and a man stepped into view so suddenly that my dad almost hit him. He opened the doors, greeted us and told my father that he would take care of the car, all while he ushered us up the steps to the wide doors.
I wasn’t surprised that I couldn’t hear the valet’s thoughts. I had a feeling everyone here would know how to block mind hearing. That was certainly all right with me.
Cathryn was waiting in the doorway as we mounted the porch. She wore narrow gabardine pants in burnished gold and a muted flowered silk blouse with bell sleeves and a wide neckline. Her heels were tasteful but stylish, and all of the colors complimented her cool blonde beauty. I felt dowdy and collegiate in my long jean skirt. Living in Florida had definitely relaxed my fashion sense.
Sensing my discomfort, Michael rubbed my back in encouragement. Don’t let her throw you, Tas. Remember, they want you. Make them work for it.
I smiled a little. He was right. I didn’t need to impress anyone here. I held onto that as Michael introduced Cathryn to my parents and to Marly. I noticed with some humor that while Cathryn gushed a bit over Michael’s mother, Marly was unusually reserved in response.
As we followed Cathryn into the house, I heard Marly think—in my direction—I see what you mean about her. Don’t worry. She’s not Michael’s type. Or mine either. I smothered a giggle.
Cathryn stopped at the base of a wide staircase and turned to us, wearing a tour guide smile. “Compared to other southern states, there are relatively few large homes in Florida that predate the War Between the States. Until about the 1820s, the state was mostly inhabited by Native Americans, some Spanish settlers left over from their time of occupation, and some regiments from the U.S. Army. Settlers began to move to Florida in the decades preceding the war. This plantation was one of the first built here. It was owned by a family originally from South Carolina who settled here in 1848.”
King Series Box Set Page 80
