“Long past?”
“No.” Her voice sounded pained. “Your past. Rise, and walk with me!” Bree hobbled over to Wally and took his hand as they exited to the steps.
Cassie and Andy reached out to help Bree make it down the steps as the stage lights switched off.
“Are you okay?” Cassie asked Bree.
“Yeah, just a little sore, but okay.” Bree nodded, her face tight.
“We have to get up there.” Mark waved at the teens to take their places on stage, then grasped Cassie’s hand. “Be careful now. I don’t want you to trip too.”
Cassie didn’t want to hold Mark’s hand, but she also didn’t want to fall on the steps. She lifted her skirt with her free hand and held on.
Cassie, Mark, the choir teens, Andy, and Fezziwig all took their places. The waltz sounded from the speakers and the stage lights came on.
The dance began as Bree and old Scrooge reentered the stage.
“Why, it’s old Fezziwig! Bless his heart; old Fezziwig alive again!” Wally pointed at Fezziwig, then moved to the side of the stage with the ghost to watch the scene.
***
Andy recited his lines, feeling his palms sweat. He’d rehearsed so much he didn’t feel he even needed to be awake to say them anymore, but the anxiety of standing in front of the full theater made it more difficult.
His eyes never left Cassie as she danced with Mark, and a pain in his chest hit him as he watched her smiling at Mark.
It occurred to him that while he was busy being Cassie’s friend, if he got to the point where he was ready for more, she wouldn’t necessarily wait around for him. She might say she didn’t want to date Mark now, but that could change at any time. He swallowed painfully.
The song ended, and they clapped toward the back of the stage as they’d practiced.
Andy’s feet moved toward Cassie as if on a mission of their own. He took her hand in his, his pulse rushing and hand sparking with her touch. He bowed. She curtseyed. As he placed his arm on her side for the dance, his hand slid round to her back and pulled her close to him. Andy’s eyes were on her red lips, then his lips claimed hers. He barely registered Cassie blinking her eyes in surprise. She returned his kiss with as much feeling and wrapped her arms around his neck.
Her heart beat against his chest and he brought her even closer. Emotions hit him like a landslide.
Longing, regret, and passion collided.
Someone poked Andy from behind as the music started again.
He reluctantly pulled away from Cassie’s lips and pressed his forehead against hers. The show choir teens were waltzing and Andy snapped back to reality, leading Cassie in the final strains of the dance while Scrooge and the Ghost of Christmas Past spoke of the shadows of yesterday.
Chapter Fourteen
Andy and Cassie were alone on stage now, except Scrooge and the ghost watching from the side.
They stepped back from each other as rehearsed, though none of their practices had her heart racing and lips buzzing from a truly unexpected, unforgettable kiss. Cassie was breathless and felt lighter than a feather. Was she dreaming?
It was time for her line. She needed to focus.
“It…matters little.” Her words came out too softly, still feeling out of breath, so she tried to speak louder. “To you, very little. Another idol has displaced me.”
Andy hesitated with his line, breathing in deeply. “What idol has displaced you?”
He never took his eyes from hers. They continued with the scene and Cassie had to close her eyes to run through the rest of Belle’s speech. Her eyes opened again and she avoided his gaze; it was far too distracting. “I release you. With a full heart, for the love of him you once were.” She could feel his eyes on her as she continued. “May you be happy in the life you have chosen!”
Cassie turned away and left the stage, with her chest on fire and her muscles turning into glue. The stage lights went off and Andy followed her.
A spotlight turned on Scrooge and the ghost. “Spirit! Show me no more!” Wally threw both hands over his face and the ghost led him away.
Andy stood beside Cassie in the soft lantern light. He reached out and took her hand in his.
“You did great.” Cassie squeezed his hand, determined not to release him.
“No, you did.”
“Coming through, folks.” Wally carried the cot that was Scrooge’s bed past them back up stage for the next scene. A team from the other curtained area changed the background to Scrooge’s bedroom. The play carried on.
She and Andy returned to their former places, leaning against the wall. She wanted to ask so many things…but couldn’t think of anything to say. He was still holding her hand and she would not let it go for anything.
They watched the rest of the play, actors moving on and off stage like clockwork. There were almost no mistakes. Mallory missed a few words but kept going.
The show finished with Randy Spooner, the little boy playing Tiny Tim, being lifted up on Scrooge’s shoulders. “God bless us, everyone!”
The choir returned to the stage and sang “Hark, the Herald Angels Sing.” As they sang their final line, the entire cast gathered in front of the choir. Andy held Cassie’s hand all the way through the applause. Everyone in the packed theater stood, clapping and cheering for three encores.
Andy and Cassie gazed into each other’s eyes and the rest of the room melted away into the background. It wasn’t until Granny Mary slapped them on the shoulders that they returned to reality.
“Goodness, Andrew, that was quite a kiss.” Granny Mary grinned. “I’m glad to see the two of you worked things out.”
She patted Andy’s cheek, then shuffled off down the steps. “Everyone, there’s a cast party in the foyer in half an hour,” she announced.
“I gotta go say hi to my family.” Andy tilted his head toward the dispersing audience, let go of her hand and stepped back, staring at the floor. “See you at the party.”
Her stomach churned as she watched him turn and exit from the stairs on the far side of the stage. A crowd of his McKay clan swallowed him once he reached the floor.
She could tell he was upset about Granny Mary’s comment. Was there anything she could say that would help?
The audience gradually filed out of the theater. Aunt Sue wrapped her arms around Cassie and squeezed. “Wonderful show, sweetheart.” Aunt Sue placed her hands on Cassie’s shoulders. “You never mentioned Andy would be kissing you in the play.”
“It wasn’t in the script…”
“Are you two back together?”
Cassie shook her head. “Nothing is certain. I actually need to talk to him. Are you staying for the cast party? Family is invited.”
Sue winked at her and adjusted her purse strap. “I’m heading home. You go chat with that boy.” She gave Cassie another hug, then they walked together into the packed foyer.
Members of the audience were filing out the doors, some chatted with members of the cast, and others were setting up a folding table.
“Cast members be sure to stick around.” Granny Mary was beaming after the success of the show. “Sweet Hearts Pastry and Treats is bringing cupcakes shortly.”
Cassie noticed Andy talking to Mallory and her mother and waited. She wasn’t about to walk over there and be bombarded with questions about that kiss.
She hovered in the background, watching more people exit until mostly the cast remained. A young man walked in carrying boxes of cupcakes. Once they were spread out on the table, the people in the room crowded around the sweets.
Andy took a seat on a bench along the wall and leaned forward on his elbows. Cassie strolled over and sat beside him.
“Are you okay?”
Andy was about to respond when Mark walked up.
“So are you two dating?” Mark’s tone annoyed her.
Cassie waited, wondering what Andy would answer.
“What do you want, Mark? Cassie is not interested in you.” Andy le
aned back against the wall and folded his arms.
Mark glared at him. “Is that what Cassie has to say?”
Cassie held up both hands. “Look, guys, stop talking about me like I’m not here.” She stood and faced Mark. “I’m really sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, Mark. But it’s true, I’m not interested.”
Mark narrowed his eyes. “Flirting with me like that? Yeah, how could I get the wrong impression?”
“Andy and I have a history together and…”
“How long of a history?”
“Nine years. Since we were high school freshmen.”
Andy rose to stand beside her. “We were only together for eight of those years.”
“Well, yes…”
“So what happened with the ninth year?” Mark asked.
Andy shook his head. “Not your problem, man.”
Mark’s jaw was tight. “Whatever.” He walked off and went out the exit, cursing under his breath.
Cassie breathed a sigh of relief to watch Mark leave. Then she turned back to Andy. “Thanks.”
“I kind of hate that guy.”
“I noticed.” She jerked her head in the direction of the desserts. “Want a cupcake?”
“Actually, I think I’m going to take off. See you later, okay?”
“Okay…”
Andy was out the door before she could say another word.
Was this it? Did he kiss her and decide it was all a big mistake? He should at least talk to her about it.
Grabbing her skirt with both hands, she dashed out the door and glanced both ways. Spotting him down the sidewalk, she called out, “Andy! Wait!”
She ran toward him, her heart pounding out of control.
Andy turned around, and Cassie slowed but didn’t stop quickly enough. She practically fell into his arms.
Andy braced her by the shoulders. “What are you doing?”
She could barely breathe. “Where are you going?”
Andy sighed, still holding her shoulders and staring into her eyes.
“What’s going on, Andy? You can’t kiss me on stage in front of everybody and just walk away.”
He released her and shrugged. “Do you want to know what’s wrong, Cassie? I still love you.”
Cassie’s heart skipped a beat; the wording bewildered her. “That’s what’s wrong?”
“Yes. I’ve spent the last twelve months trying to get over you and I apparently accomplished nothing. Now you’re here, looking incredible as always…” He brushed a hair out of her face. “And I don’t know.”
Fear crept over her and her stomach twisted. “What don’t you know?”
“I don’t know if I can survive having you back in my life, then seeing you leave again. I know I screwed up with proposing, but then I found out you were planning to leave anyway. What could I do?”
She opened her mouth to respond, but he took her hands in his and squeezed them firmly. She laced her fingers through his and felt her eyes watering.
“Cassie, answer me honestly.” His eyes were filled with pain. “If my proposal had been in person, with the ring and roses of every color, under the gazebo on a starry night, if I’d told you I loved you more than anything and begged you to agree to marry me…would you have said yes?”
Cassie’s heart seemed to stop and her tongue went dry. “No.”
Andy winced and released her hands.
“You asked for honesty.” Her chest ached with every heartbeat. “I wouldn’t have said yes then. But I would now.”
“I don’t know, Cassie.” He looked away from her. “I just don’t know.”
“Andy, I love you.”
A tear streamed down Cassie’s cheek. Andy reached out a finger to wipe it away and she took hold of his hand.
“Cassie…I need some time to think this through.”
“All right.” She breathed in deeply. “Will you do something for me?”
“What?”
“Will you read that letter I sent you?”
Andy rubbed her hand with his fingers. “Okay.”
“Take whatever time you need.”
“Goodnight, Cassie.”
Chapter Fifteen
Andy sighed as he stared at the microphone in front of him on Monday morning. “It’s Christmas Eve, everyone, and I’d like to wish you Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from everyone here at the Beaver Jam. What was the best Christmas gift you ever received? Call in and tell me about it.” He rattled off the phone number, then clicked on a song. “Here’s ‘Silver Bells’ from Chase Lockhart’s new Christmas album.”
Andy fingered the wedding invitation on his desk. He had been invited to Chase Lockhart and Izzy Sutton’s wedding at the historic Donaldson House that evening. He didn’t want to go, but his producer was too thrilled at the idea of having a representative from the Beaver Jam attending.
It was the last thing he wanted to do on the anniversary of the day Cassie had ended their relationship and crushed his dreams of making her his wife.
He still loved her, had never stopped. He knew it now.
But how could they get back together? Would they date forever and never move to the next step? She had said she would accept his proposal now…but was that true? Cassie could well believe she was ready, but neither one of them would truly know until the moment came when the question was asked. He doubted it was a question he could ever have the strength to ask again.
His parents had been married over forty years. Now, he wasn’t sure if he would ever have that with the only woman who came to his mind when he thought about marriage.
Andy set up more songs to play and lifted the folder he’d shoved her unopened letter into. He stared at it a moment, then slid his thumb through the top of the envelope to open it.
It was written in her beautiful handwriting.
Dear Andy,
I’m sure you probably aren’t thrilled to hear from me. And I know, you may have found someone else. If you are willing to read this letter, I’d like you to know a few things.
These months, I’ve traveled so far and written so much. It was everything I thought I wanted in life. I always wanted to be a writer, and being a journalist has been a wonderful experience…but there was something enormous missing in my life. It was something missing in my heart.
I walked through the ruins of Pompeii, thinking about all that was lost there, realizing how much I lost when I left you.
I loved you with all of my heart. I still do.
My parents’ awful marriage to each other, then to other people…left me believing love didn’t last forever. I always knew you didn’t believe that, and I’m sorry I wasn’t ready.
I’m so grateful I knew you, Andy. That you loved me. You encouraged me to write, to excel, to dream…you stayed by my side and supported whatever I wanted to do. There I stood in Italy, hating myself for telling you we were over, knowing in my heart you were the one.
I told you I needed space, maybe I did. Space made me realize how empty my life is without you.
You know that horrible fight we had after your on-air proposal? It was the perfect excuse to avoid having to tell you how terrified I was. I worried you’d grow tired of a long-distance relationship, that you wouldn’t want to wait until I was ready, and I was fearful that I didn’t know if I ever would be ready.
You are everything, Andy.
I wish with all my heart that I could go back in time and be honest with you about why I felt I needed to break up with you.
I wish I had a second chance. But the reality is, I may have missed my chance to marry the love of my life. I miss you. Please forgive me.
Love always,
Cassie
XOXO
***
She wondered why she expected things to fall into place like before. The night they’d walked out of dress rehearsal and sneaked back in had been so much fun, as if they’d gone right back to the way they were before his last proposal. She walked down the sidewalk, past the downtown s
hops and paused outside the bookstore. Her book was in the shop window—a dream come true.
Andy probably never even opened her book.
Cassie shook her head and sighed. It was Christmas Eve, the night she’d told him she needed space and was leaving for Europe. It wasn’t something she could go back and change however much she wanted to. Would he really read her letter? Would it change anything?
She hadn’t seen him since the night of the play. The memory of his kiss on stage made it more difficult to be away from him this long.
She walked on past the shops decked out in Christmas decorations. Something icy brushed her cheek. She reached out her hand and caught a snowflake.
She grinned. Their part of Oregon didn’t see much snow and Christmas Eve was the perfect time for it.
Then an idea came. Cassie smiled even wider and rushed down the sidewalk in pursuit of her plan.
Chapter Sixteen
Andy pulled out his phone and stared at it. As soon as he’d finished Cassie’s letter, he’d gone to her house, but her aunt told him she wasn’t there. Then he’d called her, but there was no answer. Should he try again? He left a message telling her he’d read the letter and needed to talk to her. He even texted the same thing. Why wasn’t there an answer? Was he too late? Maybe he’d taken too long to process his feelings, maybe he had missed his chance.
It had been extremely difficult to carry on through the day, then.
Andy attended the Lockhart/Sutton wedding. Alone. It was nice of Chase to remember him from their brief interview. Especially since Chase Lockhart must be interviewed by a countless number of people more important than a small-town DJ. But Izzy was a Romance local he’d been acquainted with for years.
It was a beautiful ceremony, but the pangs of loneliness sitting in a room celebrating love was nearly too much to bear. He didn’t stay long once they were married. He congratulated the couple and headed out into the cold evening air. It had been snowing all afternoon and the town square turned white with its fresh icy blanket.
A Christmas Carol In Romance (Christmas In Romance Book 5) Page 8
