Aaron may not have remembered living with Serena and Micah from six weeks old until just after his first birthday, but his affection for the couple remained tender. He had been the first baby Serena had nurtured and bonded with, during a period she had believed she would never bear children of her own. Aaron had shown her what it meant to love someone more than herself and as much as she loved her spouse. He would always be a part of her, as much as her twins and the baby growing inside of her now.
Serena lowered him to the ground so he could join Misha and the boys in a game of uncoordinated patty-cake. She leaned toward Erika to kiss her cheek. Midway there, she saw her friend's eyes.
"What's wrong?"
"Elliott is here, with his . . . fiancée."
Tawana and Serena strained their necks to see, but they were the only ones in the long hallway.
"They just pulled up in his car," Erika said. "I don't believe him."
Serena frowned. "Why do you care? Isn't that a good thing? Maybe now he'll leave you alone and you can get on with your life."
And with Derrick, Serena wanted to say, but thought better of it. She knew Erika well enough to know something had happened between her and Elliott. Erika's refusal to elaborate simply confirmed it.
"You're playing with fire, girl," Serena said. "I don't care how much Elliott comes to church, sends you thoughtful cards, or spouts the pretty words you long to hear, you need to be careful. If nothing else, ask yourself why he's wooing you but prancing around here with another woman on his arm. That alone should tell you he ain't about nothing."
Erika shrugged. "It's not easy to end a marriage Serena, especially when a child is involved."
Serena saw her watching the door, waiting for him to enter.
"He's been really good with Aaron, and he hasn't harmed me or threatened me since I've moved back to Richmond. Anybody can change, with God's help," Erika said.
Tawana listened, wide-eyed. "Do you still love him, Erika?"
Erika’s head swiveled from Tawana to Serena.
"Everybody's not going to have a relationship as perfect as yours and Micah's, Serena," Erika said. "Sometimes you have to make the best of life, based on the choices you've already made."
Serena put a hand on her hip and furrowed her brow. She wasn't going to let Erika deflect the attention from herself.
"Erika, come on. You've been back in Richmond for more than two years, and you're trying to tell me that all of a sudden you've decided your marriage is worth saving?"
Erika remained silent, so Serena continued.
"And who said my life is perfect? Or my marriage? We have our ups and downs just like everybody else. Our glue is the word Tawana just mentioned—love.
"I love Micah enough to stand with him through thick and thin, to deny myself something if it will make his life better. I have no doubt that he's there for me in the same way. Can you say that about Elliott? What are you afraid of, Erika?"
Erika turned away from Serena and sighed.
The choir launched into a morning worship song, and Tawana began rounding up the kids.
Help her, Lord.
Serena uttered the same prayer for Erika that she had rendered years ago, when she realized during their college days that Elliott was regularly beating her friend. She knew by now, though, that she couldn't preach common sense into her. The difference this time was that Erika had her own relationship with God. That alone reassured Serena.
If she won't talk to me, Daddy, please let her hear and follow you.
Serena led the group into the gym, where she chose a section of empty chairs about four rows from the front. She went all the way to the end so she wouldn't have to climb over anyone if she had to remove one or both of her restless sons from the service. It was reassuring to look throughout the seats and see other mothers making similar strategic moves or pulling out crackers, cookies, and juice to keep their little ones happy.
She sat one son on either side of her and handed each of them crayons and Bible coloring books to keep them occupied, at least briefly, before she stood to join in the choir's song of praise. She swayed and clapped to the music, until Tawana, who sat next to one of the twins, tugged at her skirt and motioned with her head to look toward the front.
While Serena had been engrossed in worship, Ian, Bethany, and Victoria had filed into cushioned folding chairs on the second row. Bethany sat on the end closest to Micah's floor-level podium, looking like an attentive wife supporting her husband. She waved and smiled at Micah, who acknowledged Ian with a nod instead.
As the song ended and everyone settled into their seats to open their Bibles, Serena struggled to keep her composure.
Remember why you 're heref she told herself. To worship God, to enter into his presence.
She already knew what was coming after the service, however. She looked at Micah, and his eyes told her he was ready.
Bethany had gone too far. It was on.
22
Tawana pulled into the parking lot behind the Wallace, Jones and Johns suite of offices and walked the few steps from her car to the entrance. She rang the buzzer next to the tinted glass door and waited under the veranda for Emery Goodwin to usher her inside.
Because of the media coverage surrounding the Neal Lewis case, Ms. Goodwin had called Tawana on Sunday evening and instructed her to arrive at 7:00 a.m. instead of 9:00, and to be sure to come to the rear of the building. No reporters were in sight this early on a Monday, but that didn't mean they weren't lurking nearby.
Someone peeked out of the corner of the drapery and opened the door.
"Come in quickly."
Tawana entered and shook hands with Ms. Goodwin, who had sounded older on the phone than the late thirties or early forties she appeared to be.
"Please call me Emery," she said. "It's nice to meet you after having talked with you by telephone so many times. Welcome to Wallace, Jones and Johns. Two other summer associates should be here momentarily, and then I'll take the three of you in to meet the partners."
Brandon and Heather had rented units in the same apartment complex and were riding together this morning, Emery explained.
Ten minutes later, they joined Tawana and Emery in the firm's small cafeteria and introduced themselves.
"Brandon Robinson, Temple."
"Heather Sherman, Stanford."
Suddenly the shame from her overnight date with Grant came rushing back. She remembered how he had uttered her name with such disdain. Tawana. The two associates waited expectantly.
"I'm . . . T. Elise Carter. Harvard."
Emery looked at Tawana quizzically. "I've been calling you by the wrong name all this time?"
Tawana laughed nervously and shook her head.
"No, no. You've been using my legal first name, but my middle name is Elise and I typically go by that."
She shrank inside as she told the white lie. Elise was her middle name, but she had never really cared for it or felt the need to use it, before now.
Emery peered over her thick black glasses at Tawana but didn't share her thoughts. "Okay."
She ushered the law students into a large conference room, where the three partners for which the firm was named sat at the head of a massive mahogany table. Six full-time associate lawyers flanked their bosses. Each had been scribbling notes before Brandon, Heather, and Tawana entered.
Bob Wallace motioned for the new law clerks to join them at the twenty-seat table.
"Welcome aboard, ladies and gentleman."
His booming voice and the sweeping gesture he made with his hands reminded Tawana of a circus ringmaster. She, Heather, and Brandon looked at one another out of the corners of their eyes but tried to focus.
"I'm sure you've watched the news," he continued. "We are front and center in the city's most high-profile case of the summer. Neal Lewis is a bright young man with a bright future that. . . guess what?"
He raised his arms as if directing a choir.
"Rests in our hands,"
he said, finishing his thought. "That means all hands are on deck!"
He pointed to Tawana, Brandon, and Heather.
"That means you three are going to be in the trenches with the rest of the firm. You are on our team and you're going to learn how a blue-chip criminal defense firm wins its cases!"
Ken Jones stood and introduced himself next. In stark contrast to Bob Wallace's pomp and circumstance manner, he spoke slowly and deliberately.
"Welcome aboard," he said. "Bob's right. This is a small firm, but we do excellent work, and we do it by focusing as a team. Each of you were handpicked to work here this summer. That means you're up to the challenge, and as Bob said, we have a big one before us. This case will probably garner national attention, so be prepared for intense scrutiny, along with long hours."
Vincent Johns summed it up, from the comfort of his seat, where he pulled his tie slowly askew while he talked.
"My partners have said everything we usually cover with summer hires. I'll just add that we're glad to have you here, and if you have questions, please don't be afraid to ask.
Yes, we'll be under the gun with this case, but we know you're still learning. Don't assume anything. Please. If you don't know or if you aren't sure, ask."
The staff attorneys introduced themselves before the three law students took their turns again. This time Tawana's middle name rolled off her tongue more smoothly.
"I'm T. Elise Carter. Please call me Elise. I'm a rising third-year student at Harvard, and I'm looking forward to being part of the team."
Twelve hours later, when she returned to Serena's house with a briefcase full of notes that detailed what the firm knew of Neal Lewis's whereabouts in the week before, during, and after Drew Thomas's disappearance, Tawana's head was spinning.
Misha met her at the door and hugged her waist tightly.
"I had so much fun at camp, Mommy! We colored and painted and made music ...."
As Misha recounted her day, Tawana looked at Serena, who was dabbing Neosporin on Jacob's scraped knee, and mouthed "Thanks." Serena had picked Misha up from camp and fed her dinner. If the summer was going to be as intense and as grueling as today, Tawana realized she might be relying on her friend more than she had anticipated.
She just hoped it wouldn't be a burden.
23
Hello. D. Haven Interior Design. Derrick speaking."
Hearing his voice made her realize how much she missed him. It was after five on a Friday. Erika had expected his voice mail to pick up, although she still would have likely stumbled over her words.
"Hi."
"Hello?" Derrick obviously hadn't heard her.
She said it louder. "Hi."
This time he seemed puzzled. "Yes?"
"It's me, Derrick. Erika."
His silence made her wonder what he was thinking.
"How are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm fine, Erika. Heading out the door. What's up?"
Weeks had passed since their morning meeting in Richmond, and they had been handling business-related correspondence through Gabrielle. Today, however, Erika needed to talk to him herself. She hadn't forgotten the number to his private line.
"I wanted to say hello. And let you know I passed the exam."
"That is great news, Erika. Great news. Congratulations." His voice softened, and she could tell his enthusiasm was sincere. "How does it feel?"
She smiled and held the cell phone closer to her ear.
"The day of the exam? I was terrified. When the results arrived in the mail today, elated. You're the first person I called."
He didn't respond.
"So . . . what have you been up to?"
She wanted to kick herself for not being able to think of something more clever.
"I should be asking you that, Erika."
She heard the strain in his voice and knew he was wondering whether she had made a decision. Derrick wasn't one to play along. He had told her where they stood, and he wasn't going to get caught in the middle.
But she didn't want to talk about Elliott right now. This was her moment with him. "I'm still praying about what to do, Derrick."
His short laugh almost sounded like a bark. Erika heard the hurt.
"God does answer, you know," he said. "We have to be listening."
Someone must have entered his office. Derrick covered the phone so that his words were muffled. She couldn't hear what was said or to whom he was speaking.
"Hey, that's great news about the exam," he said when he returned his attention to Erika. "I'm proud of you. I've got to run. Have a good weekend."
With that, he was gone.
Erika laid the cell phone on the bed next to the pile of mail and wept.
God, is this what you want me to do? Ignore howl feel about him?
She had planned to ask Derrick to meet her next week when she traveled to D.C. for Charlotte's promotion celebration. His response just now had been her answer. She covered her mouth with her hand so that Aaron, who was watching cartoons in the next room, wouldn't hear her sobbing and come running.
She wanted to believe that her heart wouldn't lead her wrong, but hadn't it taken her down a dangerous path the first time, with Elliott? This time, she was determined to use her head. She also intended to do it God's way, and everything she read during her personal Bible study time told her to be patient and long-suffering, to yield to what God wanted, not her own desires.
Aaron needed his father, especially if Elliott had become a better man. And the Scriptures she studied stated unequivocally that God hated divorce. If she followed her head and the Holy Word, surely she would get it right.
Even if "right" means love slips away?
Erika ignored that voice and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. She shuffled through the rest of the mail, knowing she would find it there as usual. A card from Elliott. How she wished the return address were Derrick's. She ripped it open and read the note her estranged husband had scribbled this time.
I'm waiting. For you.
She thought about the devotion on obedience, sacrifice, and God's unconditional love she had read this morning.
Erika wished there were a hotline to heaven - a number she could dial that would give her a road map for her life. Wasn't the Good Book supposed to serve that purpose? Maybe she needed to talk to Reverend Micah, because clearly she wasn't reading the right passages.
24
Would. Could. Should.
Serena tossed those words around her mind like salad as she stretched out on the sofa and watched The View. It wasn't the same without Star Jones, but oh well.
She would get up and fold the laundry, but her body was dog tired.
She could get dinner started, since Melvin had picked up the boys and taken them back to his house to visit with Althea and Kami, but she didn't feel like rummaging through the freezer to figure out what to cook.
She should be reading one of the dozen or so books stacked next to her bed like a paper mountain, but that would require more brain cells than she felt like expending.
Instead, she lay here feeling frumpy and full, having just eaten a bag of popcorn and a bowl of low-fat chocolate ice cream for her mid-morning snack. She knew better.
Serena smiled and rubbed her belly. Mama would have told her she deserved a day to veg out—popcorn, ice cream, TV, dirty clothes, and all. The thought made her relax. By the time The View was running credits, she had dozed off.
Her eyes flew open at the insistent ringing of the doorbell. Serena sat up and glanced at the wall clock. It was noon. She had slept for half an hour.
Was Kami or Melvin bringing Jacob and Jaden home already? She doubted that, since Althea had taken the day off work to hang out with them. She didn't expect to see them until later this evening, just in time for bed.
Serena slowly stood up and made her way to the front door. She hadn't suffered morning sickness this time around, but her spreading hips burned as if she were training for a marathon. She and
Micah still weren't sharing their news, but if anyone looked closely, they'd either figure it out or attribute her growing abdomen to too many high carb dinners.
Serena peeped through one of the glass panes in the front door. Who else would show up without calling first but Bethany?
She considered tiptoeing away, but she knew Miss Diva had seen her. After their run-in at church on Sunday, she was surprised at Bethany's nerve.
She didn't take me seriously. I guess I need to tell her again. God help me to keep you in this conversation.
Serena opened the door and waited. In her skin-tight citrus capris, off-the-shoulder belted top, dangling oversized hoop earrings, and jewel-studded wedge sandals, Bethany looked gorgeous.
A month ago, Serena would have taken one look at her and shriveled inside. Today, she felt free in a pair of Micah's faded jeans and one of his Commonwealth University T-shirts.
"Yes?" she finally said.
"Did I wake you, Serena? You look..." Bethany's voice trailed off when she read the warning in Serena's eyes. "May I come in? I think we need to talk about what happened on Sunday. It's all a big misunderstanding."
She waited expectantly, but Serena didn't move.
The fruit of the Spirit is patience, kindness, peace, self-control, love...
Serena sighed. Do I have to be nice to her?
The answer came swiftly.
She's one of my children, too, regardless of whether she knows it.
Serena opened the door wider so Bethany could enter. She led her to the living room, the one place guaranteed to be spotless, no matter what chaos reigned in the rest of the house.
She motioned for Bethany to sit on the plush burgundy chair near the window and sat in the matching one adjacent to it. She could tell that Bethany felt uncomfortable but wasn't sure if it was because of the formality of the room or because of what she had come to say.
Serena usually ushered Bethany into the kitchen, but her efforts to forge a friendship were over. Her mother taught her long ago that she could befriend anybody, but that didn't mean everybody belonged in her inner circle. Bethany had come close, because of Ian, but now that she had crossed the line, it would be a gift if Serena politely referred to her as an acquaintance.
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