by L. J. Hawke
Tania also had a special gift, the ability to see inside people, to see the potential. She could do it with art but worked magic with people. Her perceptive eyes were worth more than he could ever say.
Sanur didn't know if he could give up his heart again, or if he even had one after everything he'd been through. But he wanted to try. This woman had a zest for life that made him want to live, a way of seeing things that made him want to change his perceptions. He had never wanted to change himself for anyone before, but she made him want to grow, to shed his old ways like a skin and embrace new ones. All of these things were valued by his people, and he was not a stupid man. But how does one hold on to glitter floating in the wind?
“I know a place we can go,” he said, diverting Tania from the task of buying all the silver rings, necklaces, and pairs of earrings in the store. She wore her new purchases, laughing. He walked her back to his bike, and she laughed as she put on her new helmet. He put her old clothes under the seat and drove her to the only hard rock club he knew. It was called Spike Devil, and it was in the heart of the Nimman District.
She made him stop nearby so she could go into a beauty store and get some deep purple lip gloss. She put it on after paying for it, and kissed him lightly, so quickly it might not have happened at all. She tasted like dark berries. He felt his heart unbend, his icy calm flow out the window. It felt...wild. Amazing. Like lightning striking a tree.
He paid the cover, and they went in as the band was playing Def Leppard's “Armageddon It.” Sanur had never tried to dance to hard rock music in his life, but he found her gyrating into him appealing. He was soon covered with sweat, but didn't care, pounding out the beat on one thigh with his left hand. His right hand was on her hip, and she moved into him. Sanur moved like a snake, sinuous and curving, making her go wild.
The lead singer stepped back in the middle of “Love Bites,” choking, gesturing for water, while the band continued to play. Sanur was stunned when Tania ran up to the stage, hopped up, whispered something to the band, grabbed the mic from the lead singer, and the band went into the opening riffs of Guns ‘N Roses’ “Sweet Child of Mine.” Tania sang the song in a growly voice that made everyone in the club dance, and made Sanur stand there like a fish, his mouth wide open. Tania hit the notes perfectly, holding them, screaming them out into the audience.
The band’s singer was still onstage off on the side, recovering his breath, and he took off his shirt, making the crowd scream. By the time they got to the coda, the Thai singer with the wild black hair was ready to roar. He stole the mic from the guitarist, and Tania and the singer stalked each other across the stage. They sang the lines back and forth to each other, making the crowd go wild.
More and more people crushed into the club, attracted by the music, and Sanur found a nice, safe wall to lean against. They did the final growly notes, and the band, Rose Guns, obviously a tribute band, reveled in the adulation of the crowd. Tania grinned, and went into a growly-screaming rendition of “You Should Be Mine” with the lead singer. She was a maniac on the stage, taking turns singing with the drummer, guitarist, and the lead singer.
Tania sang an extremely dirty “Rocket Queen” that had Sanur wondering why he was holding back with this woman. Why did his aloofness still wrap around him? Could it not be cast aside for this magical woman? Any thoughts of his mistakes with Malee seemed remote, like they happened to someone else. They sang “Welcome to the Jungle” and “Paradise City,” and had the crowd screaming the lyrics with them. They ended the set with a very stripped down “Patience,” and the entire audience sang the final coda with them.
Sanur went up to Tania, climbed up on stage, and in the heat of the moment, gave her the kiss he wanted to give her while she was singing “Rocket Queen.” The crowd went wild. Tania looked at Sanur, stunned. Sanur, terrified that he had gone much too far, put his lips next to her ear and said, “I have to go. You stay here and enjoy your night.”
Sanur held up his phone as if someone had called him and jumped off the stage. Somehow, he moved his legs, pushed past the sweating horde, slid out, got on his bike, and turned it on with sweaty, fumbling fingers. His heart pounded, his brain screamed, and he rode out into the night, trying to catch his breath.
Tania wondered who the hell was calling her boss in the middle of the night, but she decided she was too busy to figure it out. She still felt the heat of the kiss on her lips, stunned by its intensity. She felt drunk, high on being with a band again. As a teen, school bands had gotten Tania out of the house, and she could play guitar and drums. The drums allowed her to beat out her feelings. The guitar allowed her to create a rhythm where there wasn't one. Rock was the best musical genre ever because she could be as loud and angry as she wanted.
The band completed the set, and the drummer pulled her backstage. They ended up in a tiny room painted blue, and the drummer silently handed Tania a bottle of water. They drank in silence for a minute, catching their breath. “I’m Rangi,” said the drummer guy. “Axel here is our singer, Nim, the guitarist, Flix on bass, and I’m on drums.” They were a mix of Thai and Western people. The lead singer and guitarist were Thai, Flix was an Aussie, and Rangi a Maori Kiwi.
Axel was tall and skinny like his namesake in his heyday, with hair that sprung from his head and went all the way down the shoulders, black with streaks of gray and blue. Flix was also reed-thin, and it looked as if his bass was too big for him. His hair was brown with blond streaks from surfing, and he had a deep surfer’s tan. Rangi was a big man with a deep chest, a throaty growl for a voice. He was constantly pounding out a beat on his leg, his arm, a table, a chair. He seemed to be in a contest with himself to come up with more complicated beats. “We need a sheila,” said Flix. “You'll do.”
“Give her some of your hair stuff, Axel,” said Rangi.
“Girl needs boots,” said Nim. “Those sandals won't last long.”
“I'll take care of it,” said Axel. He dragged her out the door and down the alley. There was a shop selling boots open in the middle of the night, and Tania went ahead and got the damn boots. They were low, sexy black boots, and she bought thin black socks before sliding into them. They were a quarter of the price she would have paid in the States.
Then Axel dragged her out and back to the club, back to the tiny room with a golden star on the door where the band members were pouring drinks down their throats. Axel had makeup and pots of bright color; blue, purple, silver, green, and a shocking orange. “Pick your poison,” he said. “It's wax, washes right out, in case you have a day job.” She pointed to the pots of blue and silver, and Axel stared at her for a long moment. “Ends or scalp? That red of yours is gorgeous.”
“Twists, baby,” said Nim.
“Okay, I'm stupid,” said Axel. “Drink this.” He twisted the lid off another cold bottle of water and thrust it into her hand. Tania did as Axel demanded, draining the bottle. Axel took out strips of her hair, and started alternating with blue with this left hand, and silver with his right. Within minutes she looked like a rock goddess. Axel washed his hands, then applied spray glitter to her hair, washed his hands again, then did her eyes with heavy eyeliner in black, her lids in copper and silver. He made up her lips with bright crimson. “I'm still the best,” Axel said.
Rangi went over the set list. “I think we should do ‘Love Bites,’ along with ‘Pour Some Sugar on Me.’”
“Too slow, man,” said Flix.
Tania withdrew a wad of Thai baht from her bra. “Somebody buy me a bottle of champagne.” At their flat stares, she said, “You know. ‘Pour Some Sugar on Me’?”
“I like this sheila,” said Flix. “Your name is Tina, No, Toni. No, Josie.”
“I like Josie,” said Rangi. Someone pounded on the door, and Rangi said, “We're on. Axel, you better be done with her. Josie, come with us.”
So Tania became a Josie, learned to strut in low-heeled boots all over the stage, and rocked Def Leppard's “Pour Some Sugar on Me” when she sho
ok up the champagne bottle, popped the champagne cork into the air, and sprayed the champagne all over the crowd, to howls of laughter and cheers. She passed the bottle to the crowd who passed it around. Then Tania strutted her stuff and sang the dirtiest “Rocket Queen” anyone had ever heard.
No Explanation
Tania didn't get out of the club until after three in the morning. The tuk tuk driver dropped her off at home, and she slept for nearly eleven hours straight. She woke up thirsty and hoarse, with a pounding headache and smears of colored hair gunk on the pillow. The sun streaming in the windows made her clench her eyes closed.
Tania drank half a liter of water along with some naproxen sodium to get rid of the headache, showered, and did a load of sheets with the hair gunk-striped pillow case. She managed to keep down an English muffin, then a mango. She stretched her tired muscles, popped her neck, read a science fiction book, and watched a movie.
When her headache faded along with her roiling stomach, she went out to the street to get some noodles. Stomach settled and hunger abated, she washed up at home and brushed her teeth, put on her tankini, and floated in the pool.
Sanur hadn't left a single message to explain why he ran out so quickly the night before—with her old clothes and her new helmet in his bike’s under-seat storage. Tania hoped everything was all right and assumed he would have told her if something had gone wrong with the business. He's your boss. He doesn't owe you an explanation, she said to herself, over and over. But she still wanted one. Wait, she had kissed him first. Just a peck. Something that she had been wanting to do for a long time. Did she sexually harass him? What had she been thinking?
She got a hold of Corinne first, who then brought Kandace in. Kandace and Corinne wanted to know all of the gory details. “Oh my god, you're a rock goddess!” raved Kandace. “Pictures! Must send pictures!”
“Video,” said Corrine. “Are you, like, going to be on the band's website? And what the hell is the name of the band?”
“Rose Guns,” said Tania, somehow finding the words in her brain. “They're basically a Guns ‘N Roses tribute band. They play in the only hard rock club I'm aware of in Chiang Mai.” She poured more water down her throat. She definitely felt dehydrated.
“You didn't do ‘Rocket Queen,’ did you?” asked Corrine.
“She did,” said Kandace. “Do it. Do it for us.”
“Do it,” said Corrine.
“You females is beyotches.” Tania cleared her throat, drank some water, and sang a breathy, filthy rendition of “Rocket Queen.” Her two best friends clapped, then Tania said, “I bought a bottle of champagne and poured it on the crowd during the Def Leppard song, ‘Pour Some Sugar on Me.’”
“You are so dirty. Tell Mama Kandace.” Tania sighed, and gave a blow-by-blow explanation of everything that happened the night before. When she got to the kiss, Corinne and Kandace both stopped her. “What the fuck?” asked Kandace. “And no text today, no phone call, nothing explaining what the fuck happened? Either that's a real emergency, or your boss is a dick. Or he thinks with his dick.”
“I think it's a combination of sexual harassment and cold feet,” said Corrine. “He thought, hey, don't want a lawsuit, think I'll run away really quickly.”
“He still being a dick,” opined Kandace.
“I don't know what to do. I had no idea what to do or say last night because the man is hot as hell. That kiss made my hair catch on fire. Not literally.” Kandace and Corinne laughed. “What do you say at a time like that? Hey, that was kind of cool, my hair just caught on fire?”
Corinne let out a belly laugh. “It's a start.”
“And now he's pulling a disappearing act. Did he suddenly hate it?” asked Tania.
“Did he hear you do ‘Rocket Queen’?” asked Kandace.
“Yes,” said Tania, in a really small voice.
“Possibly the heat of the moment,” said Corinne, and hummed the song with the same name, making Tania laugh. “He may have scared the hell out of himself.”
“Or you're so hot he swooned and couldn't handle it,” said Kandace.
“The man has the grace of a cat and is so cool that he has several million-dollar bank accounts and doesn't fly first class.” Tania grimaced, drank more water.
“I would fly first class, if I had that kind of money,” said Kandace, affronted.
“Business class is good enough, and much better for the price,” said Corrine. “So, he's tight with his money. But you said he's paying you part of the gross? That's pretty weird for someone like you just starting out in this particular business, isn't it? It says he really trust you. And he goes out of town all the time and leaves you running the business, trusts you to hire people, do the accounts.”
“And, you said some jackoff stole his money and his girl,” said Kandace. “So he trusted you after he already got screwed over. That shows he has some damn character, that he sees you for who you really are. Even though he hasn't known you long, he knew you could do it and that you are trustworthy. So no, I don't think he hates it. I think he got overwhelmed or scared, maybe about the whole sexual harassment thing, and then zipped off before he could do something stupid.”
“If that's true, I should go into the office on Monday and act as if nothing has happened at all. He may be too embarrassed, or he may be really sickening and apologize.” Tania sighed.
“So sickening,” said Kandace, dryly.
Tania’s phone dinged. “Hold on, ladies. Unknown number. Hello?” Tania listened for a while. “Yeah, I don't know the place, but that's what tuk tuk drivers are for. So, two blocks away from the department store? Okay, but I'm going to need sustenance before I do this thing. Yeah sure, food court sounds good. Probably take me twenty. See ya.”
Tania hung up, ignored her friends on the computer screen, ran over to her closet, put on a camisole with a shelf bra, and started layering blue and silver tank tops over it. She put on her skirt from last night and her boots, and said, “Meeting the band. Forgot I gave Flix my digits. What do you think?”
“Not trampy enough,” said Kandace. “Go ruffle the hell out of your hair, put on all the jewelry you own except the pearls, and I'll walk you through the makeup. I'll have you looking like a rocket queen in no time.”
Tania was about five minutes late, but successfully found the food court. The secret was to go into the mall, stay on the first floor, and go to the back to the food court the locals use. The food there was usually dirt cheap, and as good as anything else, unless you were craving Western food. She ordered the cheapest but best pad thai.
“Was going to rag on you for being late,” said Rangi. “But I see it was a good idea. Forgot that girls take longer to get ready.”
“Sit,” said Flix, pointing to an empty chair. “The bar owner loves us, specifically you. Said he sold six bottles of champagne after your little trick onstage. Sheer genius.”
“We packed them in,” said Axel. “I've never seen that many people in that room at the same time, even during high season.”
“Tourist season,” translated Flix. “Eat up, Josie, we've got to practice a new set list.”
Tania rolled with having a new name. “Do you guys know any Lita Ford?” Tania wolfed down some pad thai. “And ‘Dead or Alive’ would be awesome.”
“Are there any ‘80s bands you don't know?” asked Rangi.
Tania shrugged. “I was angry. You can bang drums and make a guitar scream with ‘80s music.”
“As long as you don't sing Alanis Morissette. That woman was fecking angry,” observed Rangi.
Tania got a demonic look on her face and growled the first few bars of “You Oughta Know” into her straw. She grinned, and said, “Who can sing Ozzy Osbourne? Real slow,” she amended.
“Got to pull up the songs on your cell phone,” observed Flix.
“Got it,” said Rangi. He pulled up the lyrics and showed them to Axel, and Axel started humming, recognizing the haunting and rather disturbing rock ballad between Lit
a Ford and Ozzy Osbourne entitled “Close My Eyes Forever.” Tania sang the line about licking blood from her blade, and Rangi grimaced. “Not at the table, luv,” he said, making everyone laugh.
The practice room building close to the bar was low and squat and painted a particularly ugly shade of puce, the space specifically put aside for musicians. It had sound baffling, and a little recording studio in the back for those who wanted to pay the money. The walls were black, the purple lighting mysterious. They all put in a few baht for the room. Violinists and singers practiced in other rooms; they could see them through the tiny panes of glass in the doors.
Axel had to baby his voice because he had cracked it the night before. Tania pulled up a song list. “Don't think you should sing ‘Dead or Alive,’ ‘Sweet Emotion’ is better. Won't make your voice crack.” They ran through all of the Guns ‘N Roses songs first, just one verse and the chorus.
Tania put all of the musicians on a sheet music streaming service with a ten-songs-a-month program, popular with bands and musicians. They got through the Lita Ford just fine, to her surprise. They had fun with Def Leppard, laughing as Tania tried to make herself more and more slutty with her dancing while singing.
They went ahead and practiced “Dead or Alive” and “Close My Eyes Forever.” Axel and Tania figured out how to trade off lines and stanzas and developed a system of signals to determine who sang next, and how Tania could cover Axel if he forgot the words.
They had a hefty dinner at a Chinese place down the street after practice, sharing dishes, and they went towards the bar with their instruments.
Tania took a side trip to a store filled with musical instruments. Rangi stayed with her while the rest of them went to the bar to be sure everything was set up correctly. It was crazy, but Tania knew she was at seventy-two percent through paying off her bills and projected to have all of them gone soon because of the new product line. So she splurged. She picked out a metallic blue electric guitar, a small amp, cords, picks, a strap, and a case. She made sure it was tuned properly before she left the store. Rangi and Nim helped her up on stage and got everything plugged in, and they were in business.
