Scott’s face grew war,. A nervous chuckle bubbled up from his throat. “You say the darndest things sometimes.”
“What’s so funny about asking if she’s going to be my mother?”
He shook his head. Sometimes Willow sounded much older than her seven years. “Nothing, I guess. You just surprised me with the question.”
“Well, what’s the answer?”
“To be honest with you, I hadn’t given it much thought. You need to get to sleep now. It’s been a long day for all of us.” When he kissed her cheek, she didn’t even comment about his scratchy bristles.
“I don’t want you to marry Joanna. I don’t like her, and I don’t want her to be my mommy. I want Beth. I mean, Angela.” Willow scooted up in bed again and crossed her arms in a defiant fashion.
“Willow, it’s not nice to speak about Joanna like that. She’s been kind to you, and I already told you, Angela has her own family. I can’t marry her.”
She started to cry. “Why did she have to leave, Daddy? We love her. It’s not fair. When do we get to have a mommy again?”
Scott folded his daughter into his arms and rocked her back and forth until her sobs subsided. He had no answers for her, but he could understand how her heart was breaking, because his was, too.
Chapter Thirteen
Angela spent the night in Heather’s canopy bed, snuggled against her daughter’s soft, warm little body. She was so thankful and glad to be reunited with her child. She couldn’t bear the thought of being separated from her again. However, sleep evaded her. Her mind replayed all the beautiful memories of the moments they’d spent together—moments that had come back to Angela in a burst of memories—and none of which she ever wanted to forget. There were no longer any gaps in Angela’s life when it came to Heather. What kept her tossing and turning was the knowledge she couldn’t erase of Jack twisting her arm and pushing her against the wall.
Doctor Coleman had told her that with head trauma, it was possible for true memories to mix with dreams or even images she’d seen on television or in the news. She’d said the brain was a complicated and fascinating organ, and amnesia worked in strange and unusual ways.
Angela desperately wanted to believe the terrifying flashbacks had been just that, mixed up signals in her brain. The possibility of her husband, the father of her child, intentionally hurting her was hard to bear. But could she forget the terrifying visions? The knot on her head had been real, as well as the bruising on her arm. Who did that to her, if not Jack?
Did anyone know the truth about their relationship? Who could she turn to? Why didn’t Jack seem happier to have her home? She’d been missing for four days. He acted annoyed with her, not like a loving husband, relieved to have his wife back safe and sound. His strange split personality gave her serious pause and made her more than reluctant to trust him.
It had to be difficult for a man to see his wife on television, bring her home, and then realize she remembers nothing about him and won’t let him touch her. Still, a caring man would be sensitive to what she’d experienced. He’d do anything to find out the truth of what happened. Was Jack that kind of man? He certainly wasn’t coming across that way.
She wished she could push the flashbacks out of her mind and start over, now that she was home and with Heather again. But how could she forget them? It was going to take Jack bending over backwards and being considerate and kind for her to set her fears to rest and stop suspecting him of abuse. She was determined to try, for Heather’s sake, though he hadn’t made it easy on her first night back home.
Angela eased herself away from Heather’s sleeping little body, pulled a pair of jeans and tee shirt on, and padded down to the kitchen to start some coffee. She surprised herself when she walked straight to the cabinet where the coffee can was stored. As she spooned coffee grounds into the filter and added water, she wondered what kind of mood Jack would be in that morning.
He entered the kitchen moments later wearing jeans. “I’m staying home from work today.”
She’d thought they’d spend the day together, the three of them, but was mystified when he proceeded to spend the morning in the office behind closed doors, away from her and Heather.
Early that afternoon, she bucked up her courage and stepped into the home gym where Jack was working out. She’d decided to make the best of the situation and try to make amends with him. Standing at the back of the room watching him pump iron, an icy chill spiraled down her spine. She didn’t want to interrupt his workout since he’d already shown himself to be someone with a short fuse.
I shouldn’t feel afraid to talk to my own husband, but I am.
When he finished his reps, she handed him a towel to wipe his face. “I wondered if you’d like to have lunch with Heather and me,” she said with a timid smile. “I fixed grilled cheese sandwiches and canned tomato soup I found in the pantry.”
He hesitated before responding. “I’ll pass. Not hungry, but thanks for asking.” He hopped onto the treadmill. The machine started up with a whine.
Angela stood in front of him. Irritation sparked inside. She was making an effort. Why wasn’t he?
“Is there something else?” he asked. His athletic shoes bounced on the rubber tread.
“Is this the way our relationship was before I disappeared?” she asked.
“What do you mean?” Jack’s arms pumped in rhythm at his sides and he blew short puffs of breath out of his mouth.
“You do your own thing and Heather and I do ours?”
“I don’t know what you’re insinuating, Angie.”
“I’m just asking…” What difference did it make? “Never mind. Forget I brought it up. Would you like to play a game with us after you’re finished with your workout? Heather’s setting up the Candy Land game.”
“I have some business to take care of,” he replied, not looking at her.
“I thought you might want to spend time together as a family. After all, I just got home, and I thought that’s why you took the day off. So we could be together, and I could get to know you again.”
“Yes, you’re home,” he snapped, jerking his head toward her. “Now things can go back to the way they were, which means I have things to do. In case you’ve forgotten, my whole routine was messed up while you were gone. You take care of Heather. I’m not interested in wasting my time playing games.”
Stunned into silence, a niggling feeling prickled beneath her goose-fleshed skin. He’d been moody and irritable ever since leaving New Mexico, but this was a new low—one she didn’t understand and didn’t appreciate.
“I’d hardly call your wife and daughter a waste of time,” she blurted.
He ignored the jab and retorted, “Besides, it was obvious you didn’t want to spend time with me last night. By the way, how was the bed in the guest room?”
Angela took a deep breath, to calm down. “I slept with Heather in her room. You told me you understood. It’s not my fault I don’t remember you, Jack. It’s natural for me to need time to—”
He cut her off by aiming the remote control at the television and clicking it on. CNN blared in the background.
Her tired gaze searched him. “Jack, why haven’t you asked about my injuries, or wanted to know where Mr. Landry found me? Aren’t you interested in how I ended up at the High Lonesome, or what happened while I was there? You haven’t even looked at my head—or my arm. You don’t seem the slightest bit interested in what I’ve gone through. To be honest, I can’t figure out why you bothered to come to New Mexico to get me.”
He pushed the “mute” button on the remote, but continued to jog on the treadmill. “I haven’t wanted to upset you by bringing it all up. I know getting kidnapped had to be traumatic. I figured you would talk about it when you were ready.”
Something simply didn’t feel right. “Jack, you keep talking about my being kidnapped, but I don’t have any recollections at all about being abducted. If that were the case, why aren’t the police over here tal
king to me right now? What makes you think that’s what happened to me? Don’t you think I’d have some kind of flashback, if that had happened? I’ve had many other flashbacks, and I’m remembering more and more things each day.” She leveled a pointed look at him.
His eyes widened. Like a switch that had been flipped, he bellowed, “I don’t know, Angie. I’m not a doctor, for Christ’s sake.” He turned the TV volume control up until the news program was blasting.
After a few moments, she left the room, disheartened and angry. What a jerk! How could I ever have loved such a selfish man?
That evening, after a dinner of Chinese takeout with tension suffocating her, Angela bathed Heather, dressed her in pajamas, tucked her in, and read a story before kissing her good night. Her maternal instincts were as strong as ever, and she felt blessed and grateful to have been given another chance at taking up right where she left off with Heather.
After leaving her daughter’s room, she went in search of Jack and found him in the office, his head bowed over a pile of paperwork. He didn’t bother to raise his head, but she suspected he knew she was in the doorway, so she told him good night and headed upstairs to the guest room, where she locked herself in.
She changed her clothes and crawled in between the covers. It had been another long and trying day, and she was exhausted. Despite being tired, sleep wouldn’t come. No matter how she tried, her attempts to stop thinking about Scott had failed. His easy smile, bright blue eyes, wonderful sense of humor, caring personality, and passionate kisses invaded her thoughts.
A desperate longing pierced her heart. To continue thinking about the ranch, and the man she could never have, was cruel torment. But she couldn’t help herself. She hadn’t been able to erase him from her mind.
At the lake, he’d told her his soul had found its mate, and when they kissed, she’d soared into another realm. He’d gazed into her eyes as if he’d been waiting for her all his life. Her body had burned with a fiery desire to satisfy him. She’d wanted him with a quiet desperation she’d never known before. He’d wanted her, too, but he was a man of integrity and too much of a gentleman to do something they’d both regret later. He’d told her they couldn’t make love until they settled the matter of both their relationships. For her, that meant learning who she was and whether she was single and free. For him, it meant breaking up with Joanna.
That day, Scott had said he was going to tell Joanna they were through, but Angela saw them kiss in the moonlight that very same night. Even now, the memory caused her to break out in a cold sweat. Reliving the sting of jealousy, she closed her eyes, wanting to forget all of it had happened: meeting Scott, falling in love with him, and seeing him kiss Joanna.
Watching them kiss, she’d realized he wasn’t over Joanna, and that it would be better for her to leave the ranch. When she’d made that decision, she never would have guessed she’d actually be leaving the next morning for good.
Angela crawled out of bed and dug through the clothes she’d worn home from New Mexico, which lay on the floor. She stuck her hand into the back pocket of the jeans and retrieved the slip of paper with Scott’s phone number and the Polaroid picture Carmen took the night of the hospital dedication. She held both in her hand like precious artifacts. Flipping on a bedside lamp, she stared at the images of Scott, Willow and herself for a long time, feeling her heart shatter into a million pieces.
I have to forget him. He’s not mine and I’m not his.
She sunk onto the bed, tucked the photo and paper under her pillow, and shut off the light. There were some memories better left in the past after all.
Chapter Fourteen
When Angela woke the next morning, she turned on her side and expected to see Scott’s rugged face looking at her. She’d dreamt about him again. She could even feel his fingers caressing her skin. She sprang up and rubbed her eyes. This had to stop.
Jack was her husband and Heather was their daughter. The little girl deserved a home with both parents. Even if it wasn’t a perfect marriage, Angela knew she had to do all she could to make it work, for Heather’s sake. But she couldn’t concentrate on the relationship if Scott Landry kept popping up in all her sleeping and waking moments. Besides, she knew it would serve no purpose, nor do any of them good, if she continued to pine over a man she could never have.
Hoping the flashbacks had been nothing more than delusions caused by head trauma that would eventually heal, she decided to offer Jack a truce. Again, she found herself puzzled, but this time thankful, when Jack came down to the kitchen dressed in a suit and tie, ready for work. She’d been standing at the sink, washing a few dishes and thinking about how she was going to approach him.
The day before he’d told her he planned to take several days off to help her adjust to her old life, but it looked like he’d changed his mind. It was just as well. She didn’t need looking after. She just wanted to get back to living a normal life again. There would be less tension and stress for both of them if he was gone during the day.
Coffee was brewing and bread was in the toaster. Heather was still sleeping, so Angela determined this to be a good time to speak to Jack about a fresh start. She poured him a cup of coffee and flashed him a warm smile. “Good morning.”
“Good morning.” He wasn’t bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, but he wasn’t surly either. “Would you like some toast?” she asked, buttering a hot slice.
“No thanks. The coffee’s fine.” He adjusted his tie. “You and Heather seemed to settle in fine together yesterday,” he said, eyeing her.
“We did. It’s wonderful to be with her again. It was like I was never gone.”
“Thanks for the coffee.” He stirred in sugar and took a sip. “Did you sleep well last night?”
“Yes. Tired as I was, I think I could have fallen asleep on a bed of bricks.” She joined him at the table and sipped at her own cup of coffee. So far, so good, she thought.
His mouth turned up at the edges. “As you can see, I’ve decided to go back to work today. I got to thinking I don’t need to be under your feet all day. You can readjust just as easy without me looming over you.”
Grateful that he seemed to be in a good mood, she replied, “You wouldn’t be looming, but I understand if you want to get back to the office.” When he cast her a strange look, she said, “You do work in an office, right? I think you told me you’re a bank manager.” She wondered why he had a funny expression on his face. Had she misunderstood him before?
His posture relaxed as he shifted his stance. “Yes, I’m a vice president.”
She smiled, trying to drum up some pride and hoping he’d recognize her effort. “Vice President is a more prestigious position than a bank manager, isn’t it? Obviously you’ve worked hard to be able to afford all this.” She let her eyes drift around the well-appointed room. “I’ll remember everything, sooner or later.”
He didn’t answer, and she wondered if she’d said something wrong again.
“What do you plan to do today?” he asked, opening the pantry door and fishing a granola bar out of a box.
“I expect Heather and I will just putter around the house. Read together. Play some games. Maybe we’ll go to the park. I know she likes to swing, and I think the paparazzi have all given up and gone home.”
“Yeah, they’re gone. I suppose they’ve moved on to the next big story.” Jack stuck the granola bar in his inside jacket pocket and then drained the coffee. “You two have a good time.” He leaned over and hesitated before giving her a quick peck on the cheek.
Angela reached for his arm. “Jack. I’m hoping we can forget whatever happened between us in the past. I’d like it if we could make a fresh start. Heather deserves two committed parents, and we must have been in love once. Maybe we can get those feelings back again. All I need from you is a little patience. Do you think we can try? I’m willing, if you are.”
He considered the offer. “Yes, we can try, Angie. I appreciate the fact that you’re willing to give me anot
her chance. You won’t regret it this time. I’ll see you this evening.”
“Okay. Have a good day.” She patted his arm in a friendly way before closing the door behind him. That went easier than she expected.
As she watched the BMW back out of the driveway, her spirits lifted at having made the decision to do what she felt was the right thing. But her curiosity piqued. He’d thanked her for giving him another chance. Another chance at what? She wouldn’t regret what this time? It seemed an unusual choice of words.
Angela opened the refrigerator door to conduct an inventory of groceries and realized she and Heather would need to run to the store today.
Jack hadn’t been gone ten minutes when a rap sounded at the back door. Angela tossed the grocery list onto the counter and peeked out the peephole in the back door. The pleasant, ruddy complexioned face of a woman with short brown hair greeted her. When she opened the door, the slender woman smiled and threw her arms around her.
“Oh, Angie. It’s so good to see you! Did you miss me? I just saw Jack leave the house in the beamer. What in the hell was he doing here at this hour?” She barged into the kitchen, plucked a mug out of the cabinet, and poured herself a cup of coffee. Turning, she must have noticed the odd expression on Angela’s face. “What’s wrong, hon? Why are you looking at me that way? What happened over here?”
Angela rolled her tongue over her bottom lip. “I’m sorry, but do I know you?”
The woman laughed. “Do you know me? Is that a joke?”
“Excuse me,” Angela said. “It’s no joke. Could you please tell me who you are?”
The woman set the coffee mug on the table. “Angie, it’s me, Faith. Your neighbor and best friend. What’s going on here? Why are you acting weird?”
“You’re my best friend?” Angela searched her face, trying to remember.
Faith’s jaw twitched. She chuckled. “Yes. We’ve been friends ever since you and Jack moved into this house six years ago.” She moved in close and stared into Angela’s eyes. “What’s happened to you? Why don’t you remember me?”
High Lonesome Page 19
