I hugged her back, but, hidden from other people, I was nervous.
As if she sensed it, she said, “This must be so strange for you. I’m so sorry about everything that happened.”
“Your note, the things you said…”
Her face darkened and she gripped my arms. “You have to believe me, Laura. It was her fault, the crash – they were chasing your mum’s car – her people. She wanted them dead.”
“What? Who wanted them dead? What do you mean?”
“Her. Crisp.”
My mouth opened in shock. “Miss Lilly? That’s the flower you meant? In your note?”
“It’s her fault, all of it…”
“Stacey, the coroner’s report said no one else was involved in the collision, that Mum and Ima had been distracted by recent events, like you, writing in the paper – that’s what caused them to crash. And what about the fire? How was that Miss Lilly’s fault?”
“We don’t have much time. I’m not supposed to be anywhere near you.” She glanced over her shoulder at some stone steps that seemed to lead under the building. “Let’s go down there, less chance of being overheard.”
She must have read the mistrust on my face because a moth of disappointment fluttered across hers in response. She didn’t act like my Stacey, but the pain in her eyes, I knew that and I couldn’t bear it.
“Okay, lead the way,” I said.
I let her go first, just in case she was a psycho and tried to shove me down the steps. I told myself to stop being weird. Whatever she’d done, she was still Stacey. She wouldn’t hurt me, not on purpose, not physically at least.
At the bottom was a white tiled corridor, brightly lit and smelling of undisturbed damp.
She turned to face me, took my hand and said, “Crisp comes across as completely lovely, but she’s a murdering, money-grabbing bitch.”
It was so harsh, so bitter. I flinched.
“The things she achieves, they’re not possible with legal treatments. I’ve done research.”
I wasn’t interested in Miss Lilly’s achievements; there were more important things I needed to know. “Did you know we were there, Alfie and me, when you started the fire?”
She froze for a moment. “That was an accident. I don’t know what happened but it wasn’t… I didn’t do anything deliberately – I don’t know how it can have taken hold, I…”
She pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes. She was shaking, trying to get control of herself. Then she exhaled sharply and said, “She does this cryotherapy thing…not what she did to you, it’s different – it’s meant to freeze your cells and stop them ageing, but it’s doesn’t make sense. It works but it can’t work – the science doesn’t stack up. The elite, the rich, she can make them look twenty years younger – literally twenty years younger. How? There has to be something else behind it.”
Stacey wasn’t making any sense. Why would people use that horrible Ice Chamber I’d seen at the clinic if it didn’t work? At least a bit? I tried to make her see what I saw.
“Stacey, Blackhurst Clinic saved my life.”
She shook her head. “I’ve spent forty years researching what happened to you.” She dropped her voice to a stage whisper. “I don’t think your life ever needed saving.”
“What are you saying? That I should have died?”
“No! But what if you were never really ill in the first place?”
“Stacey, you saw us, me and Alfie. We could barely function towards the end.”
Her voice became sharper. “You remember the vaccinations at school? The TB vaccinations? That was all sponsored by her. Why?”
“Because it’s a good thing to do?”
“No. So she could pick and choose her victims. She drugged them. And where are they now? All the others like you? The children who were frozen. What happened to them?”
My heart stopped. I didn’t know much about the other people who were frozen but I knew what had happened to them at the end. “They died, Stacey, because of the fire – the fire you started.” It was too much. My throat tightened with sorrow. “I’m the only one left.”
She held my arms so tightly her fingers dug into my flesh. “A child goes missing in the UK every three minutes – every three minutes – what happens to them?”
I pulled myself free. “I don’t know, Stacey, but they aren’t all in cryostasis capsules at Blackhurst!”
She slapped herself on the forehead, like she used to when she was frustrated with herself. “I’m not explaining properly. It’s not…”
I was scared now; she wasn’t right in the head. I tried to calm her down. “Think about what you’re saying. That would be hundreds of thousands of kids. Where would she keep them?”
“They’re hidden. You could find them. You have access.”
I shook my head. I’d given her a chance but now I needed to get away. “Mum and Ima would never have done what they did if they hadn’t trusted the clinic, would they? They weren’t stupid.”
“Not stupid but desperate. They were tricked. It was something to do with the TB jabs, I know it…”
“But Alfie didn’t have the TB jab, Stacey. He was too young.”
Stacey gripped my shoulders and glared into my face. “She did it. Whatever she says. It’s her.”
I jerked free from her grip. Her head drooped like it did before, like she was switching off and resetting.
“It’s been so hard on my own.”
A door opened above us.
“Is there anyone down here?”
Stacey stared into my eyes and I felt the power of her desperation. “I have to go. Please, Laura, think about what I’ve said. Think about Alfie.”
I choked as I said, “I told you. Alfie died thanks to the fire. They were never able to revive him.”
“Are you sure? Have you seen where he’s buried? Or has he conveniently disappeared?”
The arrow struck. I had let that question slide from my mind.
The voice at the top of the steps called, “I can hear you, I’m coming down.”
Stacey pressed a round flat thing like a compact into my hand and shoved me towards the stairs.
“It’s all on there. Everything I found out. Watch it, then contact me.”
She turned and disappeared into the cellars so fast it was as if she’d never been there. An old man was heading towards me with a heavy-duty torch, even though all the lights were on. I shielded my eyes from the beam.
“You gave me a fright, young lady.”
“Sorry. I think I’m lost.”
He shook his head. “Come on, this way.”
I followed him up the stairs and he took me to the kitchens.
“You’re back on track here.”
“Thanks so much.”
I hurried to find Marsha. When I caught up she said, “Where have you been? It’s nearly twelve, come on, we need to go to Victoria’s bedroom to meet your friend.”
I let her drag me there, turning over the conversation with Stacey in my head. She hated Miss Lilly. I mean really hated her. Why? Miss Lilly was so lovely – everyone I met adored her. Was Stacey jealous? Or bitter about going to prison? Did she blame Miss Lilly for that? It didn’t make sense – Miss Lilly was the one who should have hated Stacey, but whenever we’d talked about what had happened, she’d been nothing but understanding. Nothing but fair.
It was easy to dismiss most of what Stacey had said: kids went missing for all sorts of reasons and it wasn’t like Miss Lilly could keep anything hidden even if she’d wanted to, with so many people working at the clinic. The only thing that stuck in me like a barb was what she’d said about Alfie. I should know where he was. I had to find him.
We reached the sunny yellow room that had been Queen Victoria’s bedroom. Susan and Keisha were in raptures.
Marsha whispered, “Which one is she?”
“She’s not here. I’ve already seen her.”
“What? Without me? Laura! I got you here, I—”
“You… I can’t believe you sneaked off without me. I…”
Marsha was angry. Really, truly, properly angry.
“I’ll buy?” I said, trying to make it up to her.
“You don’t understand, I…” She buried her face in her hands and then sighed. “Okay, let’s go to the tea room.”
I glanced across to tell Susan and Keisha but they were reading details about wallpaper so we left them to it.
I got Marsha a peppermint tea and me a proper brew. There was nowhere to sit so we crammed into a corner with a sort of shelf to rest our cups on and I told her what Stacey had said.
“She sounds mental,” Marsha said.
“I know. But…”
But what? She did sound mental. But what she’d said about Alfie had got under my skin. It wasn’t just the thing about where he was buried, it was what she’d said about him having “conveniently disappeared”. He was hardly ever mentioned by anyone. All I’d seen of him on the internet was that picture on Wikipedia – and even that didn’t name him. It was like he didn’t exist in this world – like he’d never existed. He deserved more than that and he had to be somewhere. There had to be a physical place. Somewhere I could visit.
I said, “I need to call Miss Lilly.”
“Why?”
“I just…I need to.”
I dialled her number but she didn’t answer. I tried again. Still nothing. It wasn’t that far to Blackhurst from Brighton. I had all day. I could go and ask her myself. I’d been so wrapped up in my new life, in worrying over clothes and what my stupid teeth looked like and about Marsha leaving school – not even for her sake, for mine. I was disgusted with myself.
Alfie was only a little boy. There’d have been no one with him. He’d have been all alone at his own funeral, with not a single person that knew and loved him. A cold hand wrapped itself around my heart and squeezed. What was wrong with me? Was I really so selfish? He might even be buried near the clinic. There was a village nearby, maybe a churchyard. What if I could go there today? It was only midday. There’d be time.
“She isn’t answering,” I said. “Could I get to Blackhurst this afternoon?”
“Don’t be an idiot.”
“There’s something I have to do. I don’t know when I’ll get another day off and Miss Lilly isn’t answering her phone.”
“Just try her later.”
But the idea had lodged in my brain and wouldn’t shift. I shook my head. “I need to go. It’s not that far. The drive took less than an hour when we came to Brighton before. I could get a train or something? The minibus isn’t due until this evening. I’d be back by then.”
Marsha bit her lip.
I dialled the number again. “This number is currently unavailable. Leave a message after the beep.” I hung up.
“Stacey asked me where Alfie was. I don’t know, Marsha. My whole family are dead and I’ve never even asked where they’re buried. What kind of daughter does that? What kind of sister?”
Tears leaked down my face. “I promised Alfie I’d always be there for him, but I haven’t even said goodbye.”
Other people in the tea room were watching us but I didn’t care. Maybe it was the stress of the trip, of seeing Stacey, of all the grief bottled up inside me, but the tears turned into hiccupping sobs I couldn’t stop.
“All right,” Marsha said. “All right. We’d better hurry up. We can get a train to the village but it’s quite a walk from there and there won’t be any taxis – Miss Lilly sends out private cars to pick up clients.”
“You’ll come with me?” I sniffed.
“Someone’s got to keep an eye on you, you big idiot.”
That made me cry even louder. We’d known each other such a short time but she took it for granted that she’d come with me. “Are you sure? We aren’t supposed to go anywhere except the Pavilion.”
She drained her mug, her eyes sparkling with determination. “You look so innocent but you’re trouble really, aren’t you?”
“I don’t want to get you in trouble, Marsha. Your dad…it gives him more reason to move you.”
“What’s a reason to move her?” Keisha the stealth elf appeared from behind Marsha.
“Mind your own business,” Marsha said.
“It is my business if you’re up to something. We’re out as a group, aren’t we?”
I pressed my fingers against my eyelids. “Please, Keisha, can you just stay out of this?”
“Depends what this is, doesn’t it?”
“Nothing. I just…I need to see Miss Lilly.”
“You can’t leave Brighton.”
“I’m nearly seventeen. I can do what I want.”
Keisha said, “No, I mean you actually can’t. The tracking virus won’t let you.”
“What?”
“The tracking virus. It’ll paralyse you if you travel too far.”
She was so matter-of-fact about it. I just stared at her. “That can’t be true. That can’t be legal? Surely?”
“Why not? You signed an exeat agreement. If you don’t break it, there’s no problem. Anyway, it’s only temporary. It’ll have worn off after twenty-four hours.”
“I don’t believe you. You can’t just paralyse people. What if one of us was actually kidnapped? You’d be incapacitated. That’s stupid. Marsha? She’s not right, is she?”
“It does something. I’m not sure what. Maybe not actual paralysis.”
It couldn’t. I mean, seriously? That was ridiculous.
I said to Marsha, “Wait. You knew something might happen and you were still prepared to go?”
She shrugged. “Why not? I’ll try anything once.”
Keisha stuck her hands on her hips. “I’ll report you. Tell them, Susan.”
But Susan was tucking into an eclair and said, “When you’re paralysed, can you blink?” She blinked furiously. “I love blinking.”
Keisha tried to reason with me. “What can possibly be so urgent?”
Because I’m so self-centred I didn’t think to ask where Mum and Ima and my only brother were buried. Alfie, the person who meant more to me than anyone else on the planet.
I shook my head. Saying that to Marsha was very different to saying it to Keisha. Instead, I said, “Miss Lilly kind of wanted me to go home anyway. It’ll be fine. If we’re late getting back, just say you lost us in the Pavilion. Honestly, don’t worry, you won’t get in trouble.”
Her little face went rigid with anger. “I’m not worried about me, you idiots. I’m worried about you!”
I shrugged. “We’ll be fine, won’t we, Marsha?”
“Fine or paralysed. One or the other.”
My stomach squeezed. We wouldn’t be paralysed. That was ridiculous.
“You can’t,” Keisha said. “It’s a stupid idea.”
I picked up my bag. Marsha followed suit and we left with Keisha shouting after us, “You’re both idiots!”
I wished Miss Lilly had told me who she was sending to keep an eye out for me. I was half thinking we could ask for a lift but I didn’t see anyone who looked like a guard I knew. Maybe they’d seen that I was fine and left. No one had mobbed us. Not a single person, apart from Stacey, had even recognized me.
We made our way to the train station – Marsha knew where everything was. When we got there I said, “What about tickets?”
“Just use Airpay.”
I felt for my phone and had a surge of gratitude to Miss Lilly for giving it to me, swiftly followed by a punch of guilt. I’d already betrayed her generosity by meeting up with Stacey – and now I was breaking my promise not to wander off. I tried to call her again – still no answer.
“Marsha, will school track us? Will they know we’re not at the Pavilion?”
“Maybe. They don’t usually follow people all the time, just if the alarm triggers.”
“It will though
, won’t it? If we leave the Pavilion?”
“Who knows? It’s like a magical mystery tour.”
Not for one second did I imagine the virus really would paralyse us, but I was a bit worried someone would stop us. If I could just talk to Miss Lilly… I tried her phone again. Still nothing. Would she be mad at me? I didn’t think so. A little part of me thought she might be secretly pleased that I’d gone home after all.
There was a train standing at the platform.
“Come on,” Marsha said, tugging my sleeve. She went straight through the gate.
“But how do I pay?” I called after her.
“Just follow me, it’ll pick up your phone and release the gate. Hurry up!”
I followed her straight through. It was easy. I felt a tiny bit smug about being so twenty-first-century. The train was busy. We walked down the carriage until we found two seats together. Marsha slumped into the window seat.
“Thanks for coming with me,” I said.
She smiled sadly.
“Are you worried about your dad?” I said. “About leaving?”
“Laura, you are no psychologist.” She stuck a button in her ear and closed her eyes.
I watched her for a bit. I liked Marsha – but I didn’t understand her. Sometimes it seemed like there was something I was missing. I plugged in the earpieces she’d given me and listened to Frankie Goes to Hollywood’s “Two Tribes” to give me a bit of courage.
We passed a field of sheep. Alfie had loved animals. I sighed and got my phone out to try Miss Lilly again but a vicious headache suddenly bit my brain and within moments I could hardly move.
Every jolt of the train was an electric shock through my head. I twisted to look at Marsha. Her face was white under a sheen of sweat. I tried to say sorry, but I couldn’t speak. I’d done this. My impatience had caused this brain-crushing agony. She reached a hand across the seat and squeezed mine.
“Next…stop,” she managed to say through gritted teeth. I tried to nod but every movement was crippling. When the train came to a standstill, we stumbled off, clinging to each other for support. Marsha was sick in a platform bin. We needed to cross a bridge to get out of the station. A cool breeze seemed to ease my pain but Marsha was getting worse. She could barely walk. I held her up, carefully navigating us towards the steps. By the time we were halfway up, my head was clearing but she was sweating and shaking.
Beauty Sleep Page 20
