by Lucy Clark
‘I am. I’ve been here a total of almost ten weeks.’
‘That’s not long.’
She shrugged and poured herself a glass of iced tea. ‘Is that a problem?’
‘No. No. It’s just that you seem so...integrated into small-town life.’ He frowned, not sure he was making much sense. ‘What I mean is—ʼ
‘I know what you mean,’ she interrupted. ‘Perhaps I’m simply brilliant in any environment?’ She looked at him over the rim of her glass as she took a sip.
‘Perhaps.’ He said the word slowly, as though he wasn’t quite sure of her mood. Was she teasing him? Was she being serious? Was she fishing for compliments?
‘Or...perhaps I’m related to half the people in this town, which means it’s easier for me to...integrate.’ She raised one eyebrow at him, which only made him lower two of his into a confused frown. He simply didn’t know Harriette well enough to know when she was teasing or when she was being serious. He decided to remain cautious as, right now, anything and everything she was saying might be true.
‘Perhaps,’ he repeated.
‘Or...’ As she drawled the word she raised the glass to her lips and, although she was talking, he found he was completely captivated by her actions. He was all too aware of the way her perfectly formed lips parted to accept the cool liquid, her perfectly smooth neck as she swallowed, the tip of her pink tongue sliding out to lick her lower lip as though eager to retain every drop of the delicious iced tea. Felix drew in a deep breath, forcing himself to look away, to focus on what she was saying.
This wasn’t how he treated female colleagues. He didn’t ogle them. He didn’t stare at them in an impolite manner. He respected them. He admired all his colleagues, regardless of gender, for their intelligence and abilities, and during the past three days he’d come to admire Harriette—her ease and friendliness with the patients as well as her professionalism.
It was true that on a physical level he found her attractive, especially with the way her beautiful auburn locks seemed to have a mind of their own, never allowing themselves to be tamed into the hairstyle she chose. Or the way her green eyes seemed to sparkle with emotion, whether it was anger, annoyance or mirth...as was being displayed at the moment. She was teasing him and he liked it, even though he couldn’t remember what it was she’d just said.
‘Felix?’ She was looking cautiously at him now, a slight furrow of concern creasing her brow. ‘Earth to Felix?’ She snapped her fingers in his direction in order to get his attention. When he met her gaze, she smiled. ‘Are you all right?’
‘Yes. Sorry. Too many things on my mind. So you’re not related to half of the town?’
‘No.’ He could see the twinkle in her eyes, the corners of her mouth curving upwards.
‘Just a small girl from a small town. Big cities give me the heebie-jeebies so when I was asked to come and help out, I was more than happy to transfer from Melbourne city to outback Australia.’
‘Where did you say you grew up?’
She shrugged and took another sip from her glass before standing and walking over to the kitchen bench, needing a bit of distance from him, especially if she was going to successfully avoid talking about herself. ‘Small towns in South Australia and Victoria. We...uh...I moved around a bit.’ This was no time for her to launch into an explanation of just why she’d ended up in small towns, or why she’d moved so often. Even though her situation was more acceptable nowadays, she still didn’t like to discuss it with someone until she knew them much better.
‘So I guess that explains why I can be here for six weeks and appear as though I belong. I’m used to tight-knit communities. I’m used to not locking my doors at night. I’m used to seeing my patients as people, rather than just another case-file number.’ She leaned against the kitchen bench and sipped her tea, watching him closely. ‘You’re such a big-town man, Felix. That was evident from the first time I saw you.’
‘You make it sound like that’s a bad thing?’ He finished drinking his coffee, then stood and started clearing the table, not just his own dishes but hers as well. She appreciated that. Chloe hadn’t wanted to eat anything other than a banana and was presently supposed to be in her room putting her shoes on. The little girl clearly knew her own mind and Harriette couldn’t help but smile at the long road ahead that Felix would need to navigate.
‘Not at all.’ She finished her drink, adding it to the pile of dirty dishes in the dishwasher. ‘All I’m saying is that I can understand why it might take you a while to settle in here.’ She checked the digital clock on the microwave and grimaced. ‘We’re going to be late. You’d better get Chloe to day care or you’ll be late for clinic.’ Harriette picked up her sunhat and bag before heading towards the door.
‘Can’t you take her?’ Felix called. ‘She hates me.’
Harriette’s answer was a chuckle. ‘She doesn’t hate you, Felix. She’s been through so much pain, and seeing you reminds her of that.’
‘Is that why she’s friendly and happy with everyone else in the town except me?’
Harriette nodded. ‘She’s just behaving the way she’s behaving because that’s how she behaves. She’s three years old.’
‘Well, there’s sound logic for you,’ he replied with a snort of derision. ‘What am I supposed to do?’ Even he could hear the desperation in his tone.
Harriette smiled warmly at him and once again Felix felt that tightening in his gut. She had a lovely smile. ‘Just be there for her. She’ll come around.’
‘When?’
‘When you stop reminding her of her father. Thankfully, she’s almost four and it’s very rare children have crystal-clear memories from a time before they start pre-school. She’ll settle down.’
‘I don’t want her to forget her father, or her mother for that matter.’
‘Of course not. That’s not what I’m saying.’ Harriette angled her head to the side, a few tendrils falling loose from the messy half-bun she’d wound it into. She stared at him for a long moment, long enough that it made him feel a little self-conscious. ‘Did you and David look alike?’
‘A bit. Same height. Same dark hair, brown eyes.’
‘That’s what I mean. You remind her of her father but you’re not him. That’s got to be confusing for her. Just wait it out.’
‘That’s it?’ He spread his arms wide. ‘That’s your advice? Wait it out?’
Harriette laughed, the sweet tinkling sound washing over him and having a strange calming effect on him at the same time. He cleared his throat, unable to look away from the alluring image of the woman before him. ‘Just love her, Felix. It isn’t that hard to do. She’s a gorgeous girl.’
‘For you, maybe.’
Harriette laughed again, the sound following her as she put her hat on and left the house.
Love her? That thought stayed with him for the rest of the day. Sitting in the ED later that afternoon, he looked blankly at the paperwork he was supposed to be filling in, not at all sure how he was supposed to just love Chloe. When he took her to day care in the mornings, it was like pulling teeth to get her to wear her hat, something it was necessary for her to do in such an incredibly hot climate. When it was nighttime, she seemed to hate every food there was and preferred to eat a banana or a cheese sandwich. In fact, yesterday all she’d eaten for breakfast, lunch and dinner had been a cheese sandwich. He’d made her a bowl of cereal. She’d thrown a tantrum. He’d made her some toast. Another tantrum and not just stamping her foot and being defiant, but a full-on yelling, screaming match that had had him throwing up his hands in despair and going to his room.
When he’d come out, it had been to find her sitting at the table, quietly eating a cheese sandwich that Harriette had made for her.
‘You gave in to her?’ he’d questioned and received such a death stare from his new colleague,
he’d immediately backed off.
Felix leaned his head back and shut his eyes. What was he doing here? He’d brought a child he didn’t know to the middle of nowhere and now was being ostracised by said child for bringing her to the middle of nowhere! How could a three-year-old possibly understand the ramifications of what was happening? How could she possibly make him feel so guilty for trying to do what he thought was best for her? What had made him think he could be a parent? He’d never wanted to have children. His own childhood had seen to that and now he was stuck with a recalcitrant three-year-old who was running rings around him.
What Felix had wanted was to climb the hospital ladder, to be well published, have the respect of his peers, to become an incredible surgeon. He’d wanted to make an important discovery, to have accolades and awards lavished upon him and he’d been doing very well heading towards that goal before David had died and changed his destiny. Felix groaned and shook his head, looking unseeingly at the paperwork before him. He shouldn’t have any ill feelings towards his brother. David clearly hadn’t planned to die in a car accident.
‘That’s a firm look of consternation you’ve got going on there,’ Harriette said as she came and sat down next to him, dumping a load of case notes onto the desk.
‘Pardon?’ He looked at her unseeingly for a moment, not having fully computed what she’d said.
‘You look deep in thought.’
‘I am.’
‘About...’ She paused and checked the case notes he was writing up. ‘Mrs Donovan or about Chloe?’
Felix sighed and quickly added a few words to Mrs Donovan’s notes before signing his name and closing the file. ‘Mrs Donovan’s concern over her heart palpitations and her need for further investigation in the clinic are indeed concerning but not my most pressing concern at the moment.’
‘So... Chloe?’
Felix leaned back in his chair, turning the pen over and over in his fingers. ‘I can’t figure out why my brother even named me as guardian. You see, David was six years younger than me and after our mother’s death...’ He paused. ‘Well...I was at medical school, David lived at home with our dad and...’ He stopped again and shook his head. ‘We didn’t talk for a long time. It wasn’t until after he married Susan that we finally connected again.’
Harriette angled her chair towards him, giving him her full attention. The ED was quiet for the moment so if Felix wanted to get a few things off his chest, she was more than happy to listen. She remained silent, not wanting to interrupt his train of thought. He seemed to be speaking as though it was necessary for him to get his thoughts out of his head, needing to vent, needing to try and make sense of why he’d been made guardian of his niece. He looked unseeingly at the pile of case notes before him.
‘I guess, as Susan didn’t have any family, I was the logical choice. I’m Chloe’s biological uncle.’ He heaved a sigh. ‘I was working overseas in Tarparnii. It took the solicitors weeks to track me down, to let me know of the accident.’
‘Where was Chloe during this time?’ She couldn’t help the question and when he raised his gaze to meet hers, she wondered if he’d stop confiding in her. He looked at her for a long moment before answering.
‘With a foster family.’ He tossed the pen onto the desk and stood, raking both hands through his hair. ‘It was a short-term thing but she seemed happy there. Then I arrived, the uncle she’d never met, and her life changed again...and she hates me for it.’
‘She doesn’t hate you,’ Harriette reiterated yet again.
‘Oh, really.’ Felix crossed his arms over his chest in a defensive gesture and glared at her. ‘She’s told me so. Right to my face. I. Don’t. Like. You.’
‘She’s three years old! It’s what three-year-olds do and I’ll bet you any money she used to be just as vehement with her own parents. She’s a smart little cookie but she’s also only three years old.’
‘Almost four,’ he corrected and rolled his eyes. ‘She likes you to take her to day care. She likes you to sleep with at night.’
‘You can have her sleep in your bed if you like.’ Her words were wry and filled with humour. ‘She kicked me three times last night and she hogs all the covers.’ Harriette emphasised the point by rubbing her lower back.
‘And more to the point, she should be sleeping in her own bed. She should be eating a healthier diet rather than cheese sandwiches for breakfast, lunch and dinner with the occasional banana thrown in for good measure. She should know that she can’t throw a tantrum anytime she doesn’t get her own way and giving into those tantrums and doing what she wants isn’t going to help her out in the future.’
Harriette spread her arms wide. ‘For heaven’s sake, Felix, cut the kid some slack. Her parents have died. She’s been brought halfway around the world to a different country. The climate is different and she’s not used to wearing a hat every time she goes outside. The first time she gets sunburnt, she’ll learn that lesson for herself. And the fact that she’s eating the same thing day in, day out, isn’t bad because at least she’s eating and trying to establish some sort of normalcy for herself. A cheese sandwich isn’t going to let her down, isn’t going to leave her. It’s going to taste delicious and make her feel happy. What’s so wrong with that?
‘And she may not be sleeping in her own bed but at least she’s sleeping. Her jet lag seems to have gone, which is more than I can say for yours, and she won’t be sleeping in my bed forever, just for now. Chloe’s not sick—that’s a good thing. She’s eating, she’s sleeping, she’s physically healthy. Psychologically, that little girl has been put through the wringer and the last thing she needs right now are a bunch of rules and regulations which really only exist to make your life easier.’ She paused for a breath. ‘Ditch the parenting books and go with your instinct and common sense.’
‘Are you equating me with common sense?’ He tried to joke but it came out flat.
‘Yes, I am. I mean, you’re what...in your early forties?’
‘Forty-one, yes. What’s your point?’
‘Don’t you want to have children of your own? I know it’s different for men, you don’t have biological clocks ticking, but surely you’ve thought about having children at some point in your life, right?’
‘No.’
She frowned at him. ‘What do you mean, “no”? You didn’t want to have children or you just haven’t met the right woman to have the children with?’
‘I met the right woman. We married. We fought. We divorced. I devoted myself to my career.’
‘And then your little brother ruins your plans by saddling you with a child.’ He frowned at her words but didn’t comment because the expression on his face indicated she’d hit the nail on the head. ‘You don’t have to feel guilty for feeling that way. Life is what it is, Felix, believe me, I know. I had loads of plans for my life but then things change. However, the one thing I’ve discovered is that those changed plans, the plans you hadn’t even considered, sometimes turn out to be the best thing that ever happened to you.’
‘Something happened to you?’
‘“Something” happens to everyone. Mrs Donovan didn’t expect to come to the ED today with heart palpitations. Patrick didn’t expect his appendix to attack him. Oscar didn’t expect to fall in love with Daisy. You didn’t expect your brother to die and leave you as sole guardian of his three-year-old daughter.’
‘Almost four,’ he murmured softly, mimicking Chloe’s words every time someone mentioned her age. It was as though she was desperate to turn four, that when she was four things would be better. Felix wasn’t about to squash that feeling and fervently prayed the little girl was right.
‘Don’t blame your brother for doing what he thought was the right thing. He probably never thought he’d die so soon after becoming a father. The fact that he chose you means he thought you could handle it.’
<
br /> ‘Boy, was he wrong.’
‘But you are handling it. Don’t you see?’ She sighed and shook her head as though she wasn’t sure what else she could say to convince him. The phone rang and she immediately reached out a hand to answer it. ‘ED, Harriette speaking.’ She listened, then picked up a pen and started scribbling down some notes. ‘What time is the plane due to land?’ She glanced up at the clock on the wall. ‘That’s in ten minutes.’ She listened again. ‘Yes. OK. We’ll come down to the airstrip and meet the plane.’ She put the phone down and stood.
‘Apparently a patient on the daily plane to Meeraji Lake has taken ill. The pilot radioed in and said the passenger’s been vomiting and it appears to be more than just airsickness. The patient has a temperature and is sweating, complaining of pains in their abdomen.’
‘Doesn’t sound good. What’s the protocol?’
‘Usually we’d get into retrieval gear but the airstrip isn’t far and we don’t have a lot of time. The best thing to do is to drive the ambulance down and deal with whatever we find on the spot, stabilise the patient and then bring them back here. I’ll let Tori know to cover the ED while we’re gone and get Bill to prep the operating theatre just in case.’
‘Where is Tori?’
‘In clinic giving immunisations but that can all wait for now.’ While she’d been talking Harriette had located the keys to the ambulance, which was always stocked and ready for any type of emergency, and slipped on her sunglasses. She quickly made calls to the relevant people, also letting the ward sister know that until Tori arrived, the ED was unmanned.
It wasn’t until they were in the ambulance that Felix hit her with the question she’d always hated, always done her best to dodge, and today was no exception.
‘So...what about you? Have you ever tried the married-with-children thing?’
‘Does it matter?’ she asked, trying to keep her words light and impersonal.
‘Er...no.’ Felix frowned, surprised at her reticence to talk. ‘It’s just you seem to know a lot about parenting.’
