by Lucy Clark
‘Cheers,’ he returned and they both sipped their wine. ‘Mmm. This is delicious. What is it?’
‘Burgundy,’ Eddie called. ‘Perfect to go with the boeuf bourguignon.’
‘You’ve made boeuf bourguignon?’ Felix’s mouth started salivating at the flavours he knew would come.
‘Yes, sir,’ Eddie replied.
‘I haven’t had that for...well, for quite a while.’
‘Eddie’s been studying in France. Paris, actually, on a scholarship. I’m so proud of my boy.’
Felix sat down at the table, watching as Eddie now crawled around the floor with Chloe, pretending to be lions in the African jungle. ‘Does everyone get along with Chloe better than me?’ he grumbled.
‘It’s not like that.’ She smiled at him and again he felt as though he’d been kicked in the gut and winded. She was so caring, so positive, so optimistic. ‘Just give Chloe a little longer. That’s all it’s going to take and then she’ll be fine.’ She grinned then. ‘Well, not fine, per se. She’s almost four, and four-year-olds know absolutely everything about the world. That’s what she told me earlier on.’
‘She knows everything?’
‘That’s what she told me when we were walking home from day care. She said, “Harriette, I already know about everything in the world,” then she paused and looked quite quizzical before adding, “except juggling. I don’t know how to juggle.” I couldn’t help but crack up laughing. She’s quite the comedienne,’ she finished.
Felix couldn’t help but smile at hearing this exchange. ‘Chloe said that?’
‘She did. She’s very intelligent for her age and her vocabulary is extensive. Quite a smart little cookie.’
‘I’m not a cookie,’ Chloe called out.
‘Nothing wrong with her hearing,’ Harriette mumbled with a smile.
‘Hey, Chloe,’ Eddie said a moment later. ‘Do you want to come and help me finish unpacking my bag? There might be a present in there for you.’
‘A present? For me?’ She clutched her little hands to her chest, her eyes wide in astonishment.
‘Yes. Come on. Let’s go find it.’
‘Yay, yay, yay.Presents!’
‘He brought her a gift?’ Felix asked.
‘Looks that way.’
‘Clearly you’ve told him about me...er...and her...about us...er...being here and—’
‘I chat over the Internet with Eddie as much as I can or else we text or call each other so, yes, of course I told him you’d arrived. He was getting worried that I was working myself into an early grave. Naturally, I told him I’d been through worse and being the sole doctor in town was nothing new to me.’ She took a sip of her wine before continuing. ‘I think if he hadn’t come and helped me move here, meeting everyone and seeing I would be well supported, he might never have accepted the scholarship to study in Paris.’ Harriette shook her head in bemusement. ‘I still can’t believe he’s here. He’s travelled all that way just to see me. Now that type of action definitely warms a mother’s heart.’
‘You’re...friends with your son?’
‘Of course. It’s always been just Eddie and me so there was no other real alternative but to get along.’ As she spoke, her expressions and tone filled with pride and happiness as well as pure maternal love for her son, Felix once again found himself staring at her in awe. Parenting was hard. That was a fact he’d always known, especially from the way his own parents had often clashed with him and his brother, but seeing the man Eddie had clearly become, seeing how he clearly adored his mother, how he was accepted by the community and how quickly Chloe had taken to him, was a testament to how well Harriette had raised him. She deserved to be proud of him.
Would he be proud of Chloe one day? Would she want to spend time with him when he was old and grey? Humouring him? Surprising him? He honestly hoped so. It was an odd thing to realise that he wanted Chloe to like him, that he wanted her to one day love him. Did he love her? He most certainly cared about her otherwise he wouldn’t be here, doing what he was doing.
Felix paused, wanting to ask her a lot of private questions, wanting to know more about her past. Would she find them too invasive? Well, he’d soon find out. He took another sip of his wine, then cleared his throat. ‘How old were you when you had Eddie?’
‘Sixteen. I got accidentally pregnant on my sixteenth birthday. My boyfriend dumped me the moment I told him about the baby and my parents kicked me out when I refused to get an abortion.’
‘Your parents wanted you to get an abortion?’
‘Yes. They said that having a child so young would ruin my life and that I’d never get into medical school, which was all I’d ever wanted. They called me a disappointment and a few choice other names, then told me to pack my bags and never come home again.’
‘While you were pregnant?’
‘Yes. Four weeks pregnant. Not even showing but, still, I was a disgrace.’
‘What about Eddie’s father? He didn’t support you in any way?’
‘No. He’s never wanted anything to do with Eddie. He’s married now, with a young family of his own, but still refuses to have anything to do with his oldest son, still declares that Eddie isn’t even his.’ Harriette shrugged as though she didn’t really care but Felix could read between the lines. Eddie’s father was a coward, who had taken the easy way out, not only shirking his responsibility towards his son but accusing Harriette of sleeping around. Felix clenched his jaw at the injustice.
‘So you were kicked out of home and left to raise a child on your own?’ Felix stared at her, completely in awe of the woman before him.
‘Yes.’
‘And you not only did that but somehow managed to get a medical degree?’
‘Yes, I did. The degree took a bit longer than the average medical student but I got there in the end.’
‘And now you’re almost finished your surgical training?’
‘Oral exams at the end of the year and then I’m a bona fide general surgeon. Had to pull a few strings to get my supervisor to sign off on me finishing my registrar training here in Meeraji Lake.’
‘And how old is Eddie?’
‘Twenty-two.’
‘You’re thirty-eight? You’ve raised a child, put yourself through medical school and now surgical registrar training and you’re not even forty?’
‘What can I say? Some people in the world are clearly over-achievers and I’m one of them.’ Harriette took another sip of her wine and he could see he was starting to make her feel a little embarrassed.
Felix stared at her, quite unashamedly, regarding her with appreciation and awe. ‘Wow.’
CHAPTER FIVE
‘WOW?’
Felix grinned. ‘Not a word I often use, Dr Jones, so count yourself fortunate.’
‘OK. I will.’ Harriette looked at him in confusion, not quite sure how to deal with him in such a mood as this. It wasn’t that it was bad seeing him like this; in fact, it was quite the opposite. It was good. Good to see Felix smiling and relaxing a bit and using words he didn’t usually use. However, seeing him smile in such a way, seeing the way his eyes seemed to relax from their constant state of stress, seeing the lines soften around his brow, only made him even more appealing and that really was the last thing she needed. Admitting he was a handsome man was one thing, constantly staring and ogling him was another. She shook her head slightly in order to clear her thoughts. ‘But what do you mean by...wow?’
‘It means I’ve always thought I had a rough life. My father had undiagnosed post-traumatic stress disorder after serving in the military and my mother did everything she could to hold things together. Then she...er...died and Dad blamed me for her death. I transferred to a different medical school. I needed distance from my father’s constant tirades and left David behind—o
r at least that’s how he saw it.’
‘What happened?’
‘With David?’ At Harriette’s nod, he hesitated for a moment then shrugged as though keeping silent really wasn’t such an issue. ‘David was... David was headstrong, right from the start. If there was a kid in the neighbourhood who would come a cropper, then it was David. Fell off his bike, fell off the swings, ran into a tree, got into a fight.’ He chuckled. ‘Broke his arm, broke his nose, skinned his knees, twisted his ankle. Mum was always taking him to the hospital to be patched up.’ Felix spread his arms wide. ‘If there was trouble to be found, David found it before anyone else.’
‘Sounds as though you were close back then?’
‘We were...brothers. We fought, we argued but we’d stick up for each other when it counted most. Until I went to medical school.’ He looked up at the ceiling, as though trying to peer back into his past. ‘All I could see was an escape from my father’s constant berating, constant emotional negative abuse. David saw it as me deserting him. Then when Mum died...David was left to deal with Dad on his own and, from what David told me, Dad was a constant mixture of anger, aggression and antagonism.’
‘But you were able to forgive and reconnect, right?’
‘To a point. We met up after he married Susan and he sent me a picture of Chloe when she was born. Apart from that it was birthday and Christmas cards.’
Chloe and Eddie had come back into the lounge room, Chloe very eager to show both Felix and Harriette the colouring-in book and pencils Eddie had given her as a gift. ‘And I know that I don’t draw on the table but only the paper and Eddie’s going to colour in with me, aren’t you, Eddie? And then we can show you the picture and it’s from France!’ She flicked open the book and, sure enough, there were a few words here and there in the colouring-in book that were in French. ‘And Eddie’s going to teach me what they say. That one—’ She pointed to one next to the black outline of a princess. ‘That one means “beautiful”. Belle,’ she repeated, glancing across at Eddie as though to ensure she was correct. When he nodded, she said the French word again then raced away to kneel down at the coffee table, settling herself comfortably so she and Eddie could colour in.
‘And do you still think you’ve been dealt a horrible hand?’ she asked softly so Chloe couldn’t hear. ‘Becoming guardian of Chloe?’
Felix sighed thoughtfully and sipped his wine and she could see the shutters starting to come down on his expression. ‘I did in the beginning.’
‘And now?’
He leaned back in his chair and took another sip of his wine. He wasn’t used to speaking so openly about his life, his plans, his past. He kept himself to himself and that was the way it went. If people didn’t like it, they could lump it. He was a good surgeon, focused on his job and now he was expected to play happy families? It still didn’t sit well with him, especially as Chloe seemed to accept other people far more easily than she’d accepted him.
‘I’m just taking it one day at a time. I know more about this parenting caper than I did yesterday.’
She nodded. ‘One day at a time. Good concept.’
Felix stood and walked to the kitchen window. He could almost feel Harriette watching him, waiting patiently for him to talk. He didn’t want to talk. Didn’t want to open up. In the past when he’d allowed himself to be vulnerable, he’d ended up being hurt. He’d loved his mother and she’d died. He’d loved his ex-wife and she’d left him because he’d worked too much and didn’t want to have children. Then his last relationship had ended because he’d become guardian to a bereaved three-year-old. Now, though, no matter what he did, for the next fifteen years at the least his first priority would need to be Chloe.
Felix looked at her over his shoulder. ‘How did you cope? Young, single mother...how did you cope?’
Harriette shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I just did.’ She thought for a moment more. ‘I guess I chose not to let it beat me. I chose to look on the bright side, and that bright side was Eddie. He was my everything. Still is. Without him, everything I do in life has no meaning. I like being in small communities rather than big cities because it allowed me to spend more time with my son. When he’s not here—which is still a huge adjustment for me—I focus on getting through the day so I can share it with him over the phone or via email.’ She raised her arms in the air. ‘Thank God for technology!’
‘Are you always this optimistic?’
She chuckled, then shrugged a shoulder. ‘I guess so because I couldn’t bear to be the alternative.’
‘A realist?’
‘Nice try. I meant a pessimist. I am a realist—sometimes. If I wasn’t, Eddie wouldn’t be living on the other side of the world but I know he needs to walk his own path. I guess it all comes down to deciding whether the glass is half full or half empty; whether you’re facing struggles or challenges? Perspective. It does make a difference.’
‘Chloe’s eating and sleeping.’ Felix nodded. ‘She’s healthy and safe.’
‘Exactly.’
‘Were you always this positive? Even before you became pregnant?’
Harriette thought for a moment. ‘I was always determined, especially when my parents kicked me out.’
‘Where did you go?’
‘First I went to my boyfriend’s house.’
‘Eddie’s father?’
‘Yes, but I received the same treatment from him and his parents. I was a disgrace.’ She shook her head. ‘They called me all sorts of names, accusing me of trying to trap their son, that he wasn’t that type of boy, that he had a bright future ahead of him and they weren’t going to let me “soil” his reputation by spreading lies, touting him as the father. So I ended up sneaking into my best friend’s room and sleeping on her floor, but she didn’t want her mother to know I was there because her mother and my mother were good friends.’
‘Did you have the entire neighbourhood against you?’
‘It was a...tight-knit community.’ Harriette laughed without humour. ‘My parents were incredibly hypocritical. They cared about what the community thought of them but if I’d had a quiet abortion, if I’d agreed to kill my child—their grandchild—my Eddie, then all would be forgiven and I could continue living at home. No one, except the three of us, would ever know what had happened but because I’d told my boyfriend, because I’d told his parents and my best friend, I had brought utter humiliation upon them.’
‘You have got to be joking.’ Felix’s entire body was tense with anger at how she’d been treated. ‘No one, especially a young, impressionable girl, deserves to be treated that way, especially when it takes two to tango.’ He drew in a breath and forced himself to relax his clenched fists.
Harriette stood and took her empty glass to the bench and poured herself another glass of wine. ‘Thank you and thank goodness times have changed.’
Felix walked to her side and placed his hand on her shoulder, looking into her eyes. His touch was warm and for some reason sent a multitude of tingles flooding throughout her body. His brown eyes were such an amazing colour, like a deep rich chocolate with small flecks of gold here and there. Her breathing hitched at the compassion she saw in his gaze. She hardly knew this man but on some level the story of her past had touched him.
‘You’ve done a fantastic job. Not only with Eddie, but following the career you wanted.’ His voice was deep, soft and filled with support. He was looking at her as though she should be recommended for sainthood and the thought made her smile.
‘I can’t believe you put yourself through medical school with no financial help, with no support.’
‘I had Eddie.’
‘But he was just a child.’ A frown pierced Felix’s brow.
‘Kids are a great support. Eddie was my biggest fan. I was his mummy. His superhero.’ Tears pricked her eyes as she spoke, her voice filled with the u
tmost love for her son. ‘Even when things looked as though they couldn’t get any worse, when there were days we didn’t have enough money to see us through, Eddie would wrap his arms around my neck and tell me I was doing a good job. That I was the best mumma in the world.’
‘You’re lucky you had him.’ Was that a note of envy in Felix’s tone? She wasn’t quite sure and, even if it was, it disappeared almost instantly. ‘He’s an amazing young man.’
She grinned and sighed. ‘I’m so proud of him.’
Eddie walked into the room and Felix immediately dropped his hands back to his sides. ‘You talking about me? How brilliant I am?’ Harriette’s smile was answer enough. Eddie bent and kissed her cheek. ‘Ya did good, Mum, now shift. You’re in my way and the dinner will burn if I don’t apply my brilliant skills of expertise.’
‘Did I mention he also has the gift of hyperbole?’ She laughed.
‘Uh...where’s Chloe?’ Felix asked.
‘She’s in her room,’ Eddie said. ‘She has the usual three-year-old’s attention span—bored after ten minutes. Does she usually have a bath before dinner?’
‘Usually, if she doesn’t fight it,’ Felix grumbled, and was once again treated to the tinkling of Harriette’s laughter. He found it difficult to believe she’d been through so much and yet was still, for all intents and purposes, a very happy, well-adjusted person. She wasn’t bitter or angry. She didn’t feel as though she’d been dealt a horrible hand and why? Because she loved her son and had that love returned.
Was it really that simple? To love a child and have that child love you back? Was that all he needed to do to gain the sort of inner happiness he’d been searching for his entire life?
Felix looked at Harriette, who swept her hand in front of her. ‘Go, Felix. Become her superhero.’
‘Run that bath,’ Eddie added encouragingly.
‘Superhero work begins by running baths?’ Felix quirked an eyebrow at them, showing Harriette that beneath that gruff exterior he often portrayed there was clearly a mischievous side to his personality.
