Contents
Cover
Title Page
Epigraph
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Epilogue
An Excerpt from His Cowboy Heart
Prologue
About the Author
By Jennifer Ryan
Copyright
About the Publisher
Epigraph
In the end, the best we can hope for is that we’ve left our mark on the people who matter most to us, that we’ve loved them so well, a piece of us will forever remain a part of them.
Chapter 1
Wayne pressed the heel of his hand to his failing heart. A burst of adrenaline and fear raced through his veins. Not long now.
On the surface, he was ready. Deep inside, he wished for more time. A chance to make things better. Time to see his sons married with families of their own. He’d have loved to be a grandfather to a sweet little girl or a rough-and-tumble boy.
The front door slammed as it always did when his boys arrived or left. Reminded him of them running in for food and out to have fun in their youth. Some things changed over time, memories dimmed, and in the end, it was the simple things he remembered. The little things he loved.
He relished the accomplishments, joys, the love he shared with the people who mattered most.
He had regrets, if only’s, wishes unfulfilled that left a yearning in his gut.
“Dad.”
He’d had children late in life. Maybe if he’d started earlier, he wouldn’t have been so indulgent, but more disciplined. Maybe then Simon and his brother, Josh, wouldn’t be the spoiled, self-centered men they’d turned into. He’d wanted to give them everything, but he’d only ended up teaching them to expect everything without having to work for it.
“In here.” Wayne grabbed his Stetson off his home office desk. He had a date with his favorite girl and didn’t want to be late. At seventy-two with a bad ticker, he’d learned not to waste time. He set his favorite hat on his head and turned to greet his beloved—and yes, sometimes annoying and disappointing—sons.
“It’s late. Where are you off to?” Simon stood in the doorway, his shoulder propped against the frame.
Josh stood just in front of him, his mouth set in a grim line. Wayne sometimes thought that boy had been born with it. “Let me guess, your date with that waitress. The whole town laughs about it behind your back, you know?”
Wayne didn’t appreciate his son’s disdainful eye-roll. “I don’t really care what anyone thinks. Including either of you. What I do, and why, is none of your business.”
“This ranch is our business. We need to talk.” Josh moved closer, his hands in his pockets. His relaxed posture didn’t fool Wayne. The boy who liked to get his way turned into a man with a mind for manipulation.
“This ranch belongs to me. You’ve taken little if any interest in this place since the day you were born.”
Simon narrowed his gaze. “Yeah, well, things change. If you don’t think we’ve seen the changes in you . . .”
Wayne nodded his head, understanding dawning. “You want to talk about your impending inheritance.”
Simon’s sharp gaze softened. “What did the doctor say, Dad?”
“Nothing I didn’t know already. Don’t worry. My affairs are in order. The funeral arrangements have been made. The ranch will continue to run without me here to oversee everything.”
“We’ll take over when you’re gone,” Josh stated, like it was a given fact.
Wayne tilted his head. “Not necessary. You’ve got your own lives. I’ve found someone to take my place. Someone who understands how to preserve the land, treat the animals right, and who will appreciate all I’ve built here.”
Simon pushed off the door frame and stood at his full height, taking a step closer, his eyes narrowed with concern. “Are you saying you didn’t leave the ranch to me and Josh?”
Wayne shrugged one shoulder. “What do you want with a working ranch? You’ve both made it clear you have no interest in the cattle, horses, or farming I do here.”
“You aren’t leaving this place to us at all?” Josh swore under his breath and shot an angry glance at Simon.
“I’ve taken care of you. You’ll have what you need to get by and do something with your lives.”
“Get by?” Simon scoffed. “What does that mean?”
Wayne held up his hands and let them fall and slap his thighs. “You’re thirty-five, not thirteen.” He shook his head. “You don’t need me to provide every little thing for you. What I’ve built, I want to see continue, not stripped apart and destroyed. I’ve made sure it will stand long after I’m gone. Everything else, you’ll find out after I’m gone.”
“I want to know now,” Josh demanded.
“What difference does it make? The life you want isn’t the life I’m leaving behind. Find your own path. Find something you love to do and make it your life. Find a woman who lights up your world and hold on to her.”
Josh folded his arms over his chest. “Like the waitress you’re screwing lights up yours?”
The anger came swift, heating his face and ears, making his weak heart thrash against his ribs. He clenched his left hand, trying to ignore the pain in his arm. “Watch it. You have no idea what you’re talking about, or what she means to me.”
“I know you’re a fool if you think that pretty young thing spends time with you for any other reason than your wallet.” The disgust in Josh’s eyes made Wayne even angrier.
“Like your friends and the women in your life, all of them out for what they can get. That’s not the kind of man I am. Those aren’t the kind of friends I value. I’ve tried to show you both the significance of the life I lead. I’ve tried to instill my values in you and still give you everything you wanted. What I should have done . . . Well, it’s too late for second-guessing now. You’re your own men. After I’m gone, maybe my absence will make you step up and take ownership of your life, instead of always relying on me to give you everything you need.”
“So it’s not enough that we went to college and have jobs?” Simon asked. “We still don’t live up to your lofty standards.”
“I’m proud of you for graduating. An education is a good foundation, but you both move from one job to the next when there’s too much work or you get bored. You work to get by, and when you can’t, you still come to me for money. The houses you live in, I bought. The cars you drive, I provided. All I’m asking is that you don’t waste your lives getting by; find what it is that matters to you.”
“You say that after you tell us you’re letting someone else take over the ranch.” Simon shook his head and let his hands fall back to his sides.
Wayne stared at his youngest son and cocked his head. “Are you saying the ranch is im
portant to you? You want to run it?”
“Better that than you just giving it away.”
Wayne shook his head. “Trust me, son, I’m saving you a headache. You don’t really want it. It’s work. Hard work. If you don’t love it, it’ll drag you down. You’d end up selling it just to get out of it.”
“Not so. I’d hire someone to do what I can’t.”
And spend the money the place rakes in, but never take pride in the job. Wayne’s poor heart sank. He’d failed to instill a work ethic and dedication to doing a good job and the happiness and sense of accomplishment that comes with it into his sons. “Not can’t do. Won’t do. This place isn’t for you.”
Josh’s silence on the matter proved he had no interest in getting his hands dirty either. The pair of them wanted the rewards without having to do the work.
“You barely spend time here as it is. First chance you got after high school to get out of here, you took it. I don’t blame you. I always said to do what makes you happy. Seems to me you’d rather spend your time in Bozeman. City life is more your speed, and that’s fine. I’m not disappointed neither of you has my cowboy heart. You’ve got other interests.”
He didn’t quite know what those interests included besides a new woman every week and living each day with nothing much to show for it.
“I’m late, I need to get going.” Wayne walked forward.
“To see her,” Josh said.
That stopped him in his tracks. “Dinner at the diner with good company. A man gets lonely living out here all alone. Another thing you’d both hate.”
Simon held up a hand to stop Wayne from leaving. “We’re not done talking about this.”
Wayne put his hand on Simon’s shoulder and squeezed. “Think on what we talked about. You change your mind about living my kind of life, I’m happy to discuss it further. You want to take an interest in the ranch, I’ll put you to work, maybe you’ll surprise me and actually do it instead of running off after an hour like you did when you were teens.”
Simon’s hesitation and Josh’s gaze darting away spoke volumes.
“You can’t give everything away,” Josh snapped, his frustration showing in his words and the hard line of his mouth.
Wayne frowned and narrowed his gaze, locking his son in place with a look. “I can do whatever the hell I want. Which includes ending this conversation. You change your mind about working this place, you let me know. Otherwise, I’ve got all my affairs in order. When I’m gone, you’ll get what I say you get.”
Wayne walked past his fuming sons.
“Dad, Josh and I can take care of the ranch,” Simon said.
“Empty promises, son. You got to want it to do it right.” He’d worked damn hard his whole life to succeed where so many others failed. Not for lack of trying, but ranching was a tough business. He didn’t want to see all he’d accomplished laid to waste.
Wayne walked out. Nothing he said would appease them.
He started his truck and rolled down the window. He took the driveway slow and easy, passing the front of the house. The boys slammed the front door and stood on the porch as he passed. He drove down the lane, the green fields on both sides filled with his beloved horses, feeling the cool breeze on his face. How many more simple pleasures would he experience before the countdown of his heart finally ended?
Chapter 2
Colt walked into the diner, spotted the only woman to take up residence in his head, and headed for a booth across the room, trying to ignore the tightness in his chest. He should have driven into Bozeman, found some yuppie bar, picked up an underpaid, overworked office girl who wanted to ride a cowboy and have some fun—he was always up for fun. But not tonight. Not most nights these days, because Luna stayed on his mind more than he liked to admit—to himself, never out loud—but she sure as hell wasn’t getting into his heart despite the way it leaped every time he saw or thought about her. She wasn’t for him. No way. She belonged to his buddy. At least she used to until that night at the bar when everything shifted and changed and became so confusing he was still trying to figure it out.
“Leave it alone,” he warned himself under his breath. Easier said than done, especially now that his brother Rory was marrying Luna’s best friend. Sadie kept at Colt, wanting to know what happened between him and the dark-haired beauty with the porcelain face and red lips he could still taste from that one searing kiss. Like now.
The damn woman branded him with that kiss.
He glanced over his shoulder as he continued on through the tables to the booth and caught her watching him from behind the counter. Those ice blue eyes with two brown specks in the right and three in the left darted away. The hint of embarrassment and shame in them matched his own feelings about what happened, but the flash of anger he always saw there tore him up. They’d been friends once. He’d ruined that and felt damn sorry about it, too.
“Hey you,” Sadie called, walking out of the kitchen.
He ditched the booth idea and headed straight for her, taking a seat at the counter. Luna moved away to deliver her tray of drinks to a family at a nearby table.
“Hey, Mama, how’s my niece or nephew doing?”
Sadie smiled and placed her hand over her slightly swollen pregnant belly. “Great.” Her hand slid to her hip and she narrowed her eyes on him. The diamond ring his brother put on her finger last week winked in the light. “Did Rory send you after me? I can get home on my own, for God’s sake.”
He smiled at his soon-to-be sister. Yes, Rory tended to lean to the overprotective side of the line, but he had reason to where Sadie was concerned. At least before that trouble with her brother got settled. Now her brother spent his days locked up behind bars, and Sadie spent her time worry free and her nights in Rory’s bed. Lucky bastard.
“I’m sure Rory’s pacing the house waiting to get his hands on you, but he didn’t send me to fetch you.”
The starch went right out of her. “Okay then.” She leaned over, planted her elbows on the counter, propped her chin in one hand, and stared right at him, a soft smile on her lips. “How are you, handsome?”
She wasn’t flirting. Not really. His brother’s girl had become like a sister, filling their family with a feminine warmth that had long been lacking in a household of men. After her father died, he shared his sorrow over his own parents’ deaths—he’d been barely old enough to understand they weren’t coming home ever again—and they’d bonded.
“It’s been one hell of a day. Thought I’d stop in here for something to eat, since you’re working late and it’s Ford’s night to cook.” Colt scrunched his face into a sour expression, mocking Ford’s mediocre cooking skills.
“That’s the only reason you’re here?”
He planted his elbow on the counter and matched her gesture of putting his chin in his palm and staring right back at her. “Well, I have been trying to come up with a way to steal you away from Rory.”
She put her hand on his cheek and gave him a soft smack. “Never going to happen, cowboy.”
He gave her a mocking frown. “That’s what I thought you’d say. Way to crush a guy’s heart.”
“You might stop guarding that heart like it’s going to be crushed by pain and loss again . . .” A reference to losing his parents he didn’t want to be reminded about. “. . . and consider making up with my maid of honor over there.”
Colt sat back in his chair and tamped down the urge to look at Luna again. Urge, hell, it was a compulsion to stare at her pretty face, close the distance between them, both figuratively and literally, and kiss her again. Just one more time. One more moment when everything in his life felt so damn right—before it all went to hell again.
See, he had good reason to guard his heart. The one time the thing pulsed to life over a woman, he screwed it all up. One kiss messed everything up.
“Leave it alone, sis.”
“Seems to me you and her have done that for a long time. Apologize.”
“It’s beyo
nd a simple ‘I’m sorry.’ ”
“You sure about that? Because from where I’m standing, you sneak a look at her. She sneaks a look at you. Both of you act like you’ve got something to say, but neither of you says anything.”
“After what I did, there’s nothing to say that can make things right. Sometimes, sis, you can’t go back.”
“Did you cheat on her?”
Colt shook his head, the thought so distasteful it made him purse his lips. “No. It’s not like that.”
“Did you purposefully hurt her? Call her a name? Insult her? Run over her puppy?”
He shook his head, smiling despite the seriousness of the conversation. “No. Nothing like that.”
“Are you sorry?”
He let out a soft sigh that did nothing to untangle the ever-present knot in his gut. “More than I can say.”
Sadie slapped her hands on the counter. “Then I don’t know why you can’t go over there and tell her so.”
“It’s not that simple. She was my friend’s girl, and I crossed a line.”
“Colt, honey, she’s not a possession. He didn’t own her.”
He let his head fall forward and stared at the seam in the countertop. “Well, she sure as hell wasn’t mine. I tried to help her out, but I messed it up instead.”
“Let me ask you something. Did she cross this line with you, or did you pull her over it?”
Colt sat back and stared up at the ceiling. “What difference does it make?”
“If you both participated, maybe she’s sorry and you’re sorry and this can be worked out, or at least put to rest, if you just talk to each other.”
He gave her a look, putting all his resignation in his face. “Sis . . .”
“Colt, I love you like a brother, so I’m going to treat you like one. You’re being an ass. She’s helping me plan the wedding. She’ll be at the house all the time. Are you going to keep walking away every time she shows up?”
“It’s worked so far.”
Sadie planted her hands on her hips. “Really? This is working for you? Pretending she doesn’t exist and what happened between you didn’t happen? Seems to me all it does is make you both miserable.”
Her Renegade Rancher EPB Page 1
