“It’s not that.”
“Then what?”
She folded her hands on her lap, twisting her fingers.
“Please don’t tell me it’s because it’s not what respectful ladies do?”
Her lips curved down.
“Get the giant stick out of your ass and sing with me, darlin’.” I turned the knob again, and the music boomed through the car. I wailed out words, sounding somewhat close to what the guy was singing, my thumbs drumming the steering wheel, my shoulders bouncing.
Rez laughed and peered at me like I was crazy.
“Come on!” I nudged her with my arm. Finally I saw her lips moving, copying the words. “Louder!”
Her voice rose, and after a few beats, it went even louder. Of course she had a beautiful voice, sultry and deep, but I enjoyed it more when she sang a wrong word and turned to me, beaming.
Rez’s body wiggled in her seat, her head swaying side to side. When we came to the last chorus, she lifted her arms and closed her eyes, and screamed out the words at the top of her lungs with utter abandonment. As the crescendo reached its end, Rez dropped her arms and twisted to look at me.
My heart almost stopped. The most dazzling, beautiful smile I had ever seen stretched across her mouth. Her eyes sparkled with life. And then she started to chuckle. It was the most incredible sound because it wasn’t held back. My face spread into the biggest grin as my head jerked from the road to her and then back.
“That’s better.”
She wiped her eyes, still fighting her giggles.
“Don’t tell me you’ve never done karaoke?” I turned the music down.
Her whole face beamed. “I can’t remember the last time I sang for fun.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Seriously?”
“Yeah.” She shrugged, her smile fading. “I sing when I work.” She glanced out the window. “I guess there hasn’t been a lot of opportunities or reasons to sing otherwise.”
“Well, we’ll have to change that.” I nudged her with my arm. I meant find a karaoke bar or something like that, but the moment her gaze snapped to mine, my statement felt a whole lot heavier. Doused with meaning and sinking below the appropriate line.
“Do you enjoy it?” I locked my eyes on the road.
“What?”
“Being a siren?”
“Does it matter? It’s who I am. It’s not about liking it or not. I can’t change it.” Her head twisted to the window. Her body language screamed there was a story, one that told she did not enjoy what she was.
“True, but that doesn’t mean you can’t love it.” I tried to examine her through my peripheral vision. “I love being a Dark Dweller. Sometimes more than being a man.”
Her head turned back, critically observing me, her forehead lined. She jerked her gaze back out the window, and the silence grew in the car, the music playing softly in the background. Rez’s finger tapped on the door handle, growing steadily more intense.
“What?” I asked.
She licked her lips, running her hands through her hair.
“Tell me, darlin’.”
“I know you can’t change anymore,” she said softly.
“What?” A block of ice sat against my neck.
She cleared her throat and faced me. “You can’t shift. That’s what happened today, wasn’t it?”
The ice slid down my spine. My mouth fell open, but I swiftly shut it, keeping my stare locked on the road. How did she know? Was it so obvious? Was my weakness stained on me like my tattoos? Marked on me like the scars around my neck?
“You don’t have to keep it from me.”
“How...?” I gritted.
“Lars.”
My nose flared.
“Don’t be upset. He told me because he wanted me to be aware you wouldn’t be able to turn even if you wanted to.”
There was more to her sentence, the words she didn’t say: I couldn’t truly protect her. The feared Dark Dweller was no more than a caged lion at the zoo. Something enemies would poke with a stick and taunt, if they found out.
“I can fight better than any fae.” My knuckles turned white on the steering wheel. “I can still protect you.”
“I know.”
“So why did you act like you didn’t know back in the store?”
“Because…” She twisted her fingers together. “I wanted you to tell me. But then I realized you never would. You would make up every excuse and lie to keep me from knowing the truth.”
She was right. I would have.
“It does not make you weak, West.”
My foot slammed on the brake, and I pulled the Range Rover to the side of the road. The car came to a shuttering jolt, a cloud of dust engulfing the car. Anger coiled up my neck. “How would you know?” I roared. “No one knows how this feels.”
“Then tell me.” Rez didn’t pull away from my anger. “I want to understand.”
I twisted in my seat, facing her.
“I am a beast without the beast,” I yelled, wanting my declaration to stop there, but my mouth kept moving, the words flowing out. “You don’t think every adversary would use it against me the moment they knew?” I slammed my fist into the steering wheel, the metal groaning under the force. Rez didn’t even flinch. “I can’t change. I can’t protect myself or you like I should be able to. So don’t tell me it doesn’t make me weak. It does. It’s like being ripped in half. My very essence is gone. Everything that makes me whole causes me excruciating pain. It dangles in front of me like a carrot, but the moment I reach out, it tears my soul into pieces. Losing the man would not be as painful as this is. The beast is who I am. My being.” My breath came out in harsh drags. “And it’s the precise thing I can’t be.”
Why did I tell her all that? I had never told anyone. Especially about my feelings.
I swiveled in the seat, setting the car back into drive, signaling an end to the conversation. Telling Rez was a mistake. One that would never happen again.
The rest of the drive into Cahersiveen was silent. When we reached the small village, we found our B&B in the middle of town: a quaint two-story with a converted attic and restaurant on the lower level.
We needed to mingle among the locals and start getting people to talk. Lars had one contact in this town, but we didn’t know how to get hold of him. I figured we’d go to the one place where everyone knows everyone else’s business: the local pub.
We settled into our rooms, and this time I demanded hers be next to mine. They gave us the two rooms with connecting doors.
We spent most of the day apart. She set her room up like the FBI center, going through all the useless information we had, trying to make sense of the information, while I walked around and got a feel of the place. There were a couple of tourist trap pubs nearby, but I wanted to find where more of the locals went.
It was already dark by the time we made it to the restaurant for dinner. Rez was dressed in the clothes I had bought her earlier but kept tugging at them. She looked amazing, more appropriate than she did in a flouncy blouse, and she fit in a little better.
We grabbed stools at the bar that was already full of fishermen and workers. Rosy cheeks were everywhere I looked, whether from drink or the cold wind outside, I couldn’t tell. But I hoped for the former. The drunker they were, the looser their tongues.
“How’s it going there?” The bartender came over and threw down coasters. He was average height but stocky with graying brown hair and green eyes. His eyebrows were so thick it looked as if two tabby cats were wiggling on his jovial face.
“We need some food and some drinks.” I grabbed the menu off the bar. “A Guinness, please.”
“Pint of gat for you. What about you, lass?”
“Uh.” Her gaze flew to the back of the bar. “Grey Goose and soda, please. With two limes.”
The bartender’s mouth curved up in an amused smile as he shook his head and went to grab our drinks.
“Wow.” I snorted. “You are even snoot
y about your alcohol. Hope he doesn’t give you three limes…might have to commit you.”
“Nothing wrong with knowing what you like.” Rez shot me a glare.
“No.” I shed my coat, securing it on the hook by my knees. “But you leave no room for something you might like even better.”
She pursed her lips, took off her jacket, and picked at a leg pocket of her cargo pants, wiggling on the barstool.
“Relax, darlin’.” Without thinking, I placed my hand on hers, pressing it onto her leg.
Creases threaded her forehead, but she stilled at my touch and her eyes moved to mine. Heat from her hand lit my arm on fire. The desire to curl my fingers around hers flicked at my muscles, but I tugged my hand back to stop the impulse.
“Sorry. I feel uncomfortable in this.” She plucked at her sweater.
“Uncomfortable? It’s the most relaxed attire I’ve ever seen you wear.”
“Exactly.” She lifted her head with a tilt, staring at me. “Casual is not something I’m used to being; haven’t for a long time...” Her words drifted off, and I couldn’t help but feel there was more behind them.
“I’ve seen you in yoga pants.” She looked gorgeous in them. I actually preferred her in laid-back attire. She felt more real.
“Only because I was working out.” She sat straighter. “I like being put together. Looking nice.”
My eyes wandered over her. Her long dark hair flowed down her back, displaying her high cheek bones, blushed by the heat in the bar. Her lips were full and inviting, her almond-shaped brown eyes luring me in. My hand wanted to curve around her long neck, bring her into me. She had sensuality that couldn’t be hidden, even in the worst outfit. But gorgeous people, especially in the fae world, were a dime a dozen. Don’t get me wrong. I was a man, a Dark Dweller, who enjoyed a pretty girl, but extremely few captured me past a moment together in some bar bathroom or parking lot. Something about Rez, a guarded depth and sadness she hid behind her ordered world, called to me. And for the first time since a girl in South Carolina, I wanted to know more about the woman across from me.
The bartender came back with our drinks.
“Irish stew with soda bread,” I ordered, breaking my stare from the siren, facing him.
“Same.” Rez set down her menu and smiled at the bartender.
“Sure thing, luv.” He grinned at her. “I’m Seamus. Need anything, you just let me know.”
“Thank you, Seamus.” She smiled back.
I tried not to laugh. “Think you might be my lucky charm here.” I took a sip of beer. “You need to be the one asking Seamus if he knows of our lead. Look around, sweetheart. This bar is mostly men...and they are all staring at you.”
It was no joke. Old to young, the men kept peering over at Rez with admiration. Their gazes weren’t dirty or degrading, as far as I could tell. She wasn’t even wearing makeup. Her hair was windblown, her cheeks and nose were red with cold, but this only made her even more stunning.
“Look at the women here.” She turned to me, jerking her head back. “They are about to rip your clothes off, public indecency be dammed.”
I couldn’t disagree with her assessment. A handful of women, old and young as well, were staring at me like I was dinner. West, here’s your chance. You could have any one of these lasses in minutes. Get Rez out of your system.
My shoulders sagged. The thought of getting off the stool and leaving Rez to try and fuck some chick I didn’t even want sounded exhausting. Boring. Unfulfilling. Shit. What was wrong with me?
“If you…” Rez looked down at her drink, her fingers twirling the glass. “If you need a night off, I totally understand. I figured someone like you would need to.”
“Whoa…” I rocked back. “Wait… Did you just tell me to go fuck someone?”
Rez’s cheeks deepened with crimson. “You are a Dark Dweller. I know you guys are...are...”
“Horny as hell? Sex crazed? Beasts?” I laughed when I saw the scarlet run down her neck. She squirmed in her seat, not meeting my gaze. Even the mere mention of sex caused her to squirm.
“Yeah.” She nodded. “I am quite aware of your reputation, Mr. Moseley. Of the needs of Dark Dwellers. It isn’t a big secret, too many rumors about you. All of you. I lived in a house with Ember and Eli for a while, after all.”
“Yeah, those two would give you an idea.” I chuckled, then leaned into her ear, whispering, “But that is only a small taste of what we are capable of. What we can do…”
She inhaled sharply and tensed.
I don’t know why I did it. Why did I keep taunting her about sex…sex with me? It was dangerous. Stupid.
Thankfully Seamus came with our food, and I scooted away from her. I finished off my beer in a gulp and nodded at Seamus for another. Day two with Rez and I was already struggling to keep it together.
As we ate, we listened to the voices around us.
Several women brushed or touched me on the way to the bathroom, giving me a wink or a smile, inviting me to follow.
Rez rolled her eyes and finished her drink. Then something in her demeanor changed. She leaned on the bar and flipped her hair to the side, a dazzling smile traveling over her lips. She curled her finger, summoning Seamus.
He practically ran over.
“Ya, lass?” He grinned from ear to ear at her.
The moment she opened her mouth, I felt the magic, working her abilities.
“Seamus, you said if I needed anything, you were the man I should ask?” Her voice was like the richest syrup, sliding over and bathing you in its power.
“Anything, luv.” He was entranced.
As was I. And I was somewhat immune to other fae charms. But damn, with every word I felt my body lean toward her, wanting to be close.
“I was wondering if you had heard anything or knew of a man they call Lil’ Mack?”
Seamus’s head lurched back, but his body stayed bowed over the bar toward her. His lids narrowed, and his lips pushed together, but his gaze did not leave Rez. His head shook slightly. “No. Never heard the name before.”
He was lying. I could hear his heartbeat peak alongside his breath.
“Seamus,” Rez purred. “I know you aren’t telling me the truth.”
To see this side of her, the seductress, I almost slid off my barstool. She still wasn’t even close to the level a water fairy or succubus would go. But there was something even hotter about sirens. Subtle. She sucked you in and dragged you down without you even realizing it. People mixed up the three a lot, but water fairies were blunt and forward, whispering what they’d do to you without shame. They were simply horny off the rush of life around them and used sex to defuse all their energy. A succubus had to have sex. It is where they got their energy to live. Sirens didn’t have sex with their prey. They lived off the sacrifice, the life force leaving the drowning victim.
“No. No…I’m not.” He shook his head, trying to fight her.
Rez reached into her bag and pulled out an envelope. “That could be for you, Seamus. And if this Lil’ Mack decides to come forward, there is even more for him.”
Seamus picked up the packet filled with paper money. He gulped.
Lars hadn’t told me about the bribe money, but I wasn’t surprised. This was chump change to him, and he would do anything to find this spear. And money talked.
Seamus’s eyes darted around the room, then moved closer to us, stacking our dishes.
“Lil’ Mack is dead,” he mumbled.
“Dead?” Dammit. I stared at Seamus, hoping to see he was lying about this too.
“Some old folklore has been swirling around anew about some treasure. People looking for dangerous things again. Ruthless folks.” He swallowed, picking up our bowls. “People have disappeared. Those who know anything about…” He stopped speaking. “I will not be one of them. I can’t help you any more than that. Sorry.” He flipped around and moved toward the kitchen.
With my dweller senses I caught the scent of fear
a man has for his life. People were disappearing? Those who knew about the spear?
Lars had stirred up interest again, and it looked like we weren’t the only ones out searching for it.
We headed back to the hotel after that. Rez went to her room with a hasty good night, and I couldn’t have been more grateful, though the thin walls did nothing to keep me from hearing her in the next room.
I undressed and fell back on my bed. Tonight had been little more than a dead end. I knew this wasn’t going to be easy, but the news our lead was dead and others were disappearing left me dispirited.
With a sigh, I rolled onto my stomach and dropped the pillow over my head, needing to block my thoughts. Sleep. We’d start fresh tomorrow.
***
She stood in front of me. The beautiful creature I ruined.
The dimming magenta glow of the sun reflected off her pale skin. The dozen freckles I knew very well that sprinkled across her nose and cheeks were adrift in shadows.
We stood on the beach, the sand dunes where we had made love on the first night together. The image so sharp in my memory I could taste the salt from the air, see the yellow sundress she wore. Her tan skin glowed under the moonlight, her smile lit her face with beauty, and her golden hair blew in the light breeze.
“Will.” She held out her hand to me. This time she showed no fear. This was the Cammie who loved me, wanted to grow old with me, have children together. “Come with me.”
I took a step, reaching out for her hand.
“Let me take you away from all this. No more pain. You deserve nothing but happiness.”
“No, I don’t.” My feet shuddered to a stop. “I don’t deserve anything good. Not after you.”
She kept her hand out. “I’ve missed you so much. I want us to be together. Forever.”
My gut screamed out in agony, wanting nothing more than to follow her. To let all my pain go. “Cammie, I love you. But you know I can’t come with you.”
Hurt flicked over her features before she looked away from me. “You don’t love me,” she whispered. “You never really did.”
West (A Darkness Series Novel) Page 7
