by Kitty Neale
It was some time before Pearl returned to her bed, tossing and turning all night. She hated herself, hated her treacherous body, at last drifting off to sleep in the early hours of the morning.
It was the doorbell that woke her at nine in the morning but, unable to face the thought of seeing anyone, she curled into a ball. The ringing persisted. Crawling out of bed, Pearl went to the window to see Derek below. Oh God, she couldn’t see him. He would know – he would look at her and know.
He waved frantically, and it was obvious he wouldn’t go away unless she spoke to him. She lifted the window, leaning out a little. ‘Derek, I’m not well. I can’t come down.’
‘When I went into the café, Bernie asked me if I’d seen you. What’s wrong, love?’
As Derek shouted up at her, several heads lifted, and Pearl cringed. They were all staring at her. Could they tell? Did it show?
‘I’ve got an upset tummy,’ she called desperately. ‘Will you tell Bernie? I … I may see you tomorrow, but it depends how I’m feeling.’
‘Is there anything I can get you?’
‘No, but thanks.’ Pearl lifted her hand to give Derek a small wave, anxious to shut the window and get away from the prying eyes.
She crawled back into bed, just wanting to hide away, and soon, exhausted, she escaped into sleep.
It was half an hour later when Trevor Bardington parked his car, smiling as he pulled out a bag of shopping. He’d bought cereals, some fruit, a bar of chocolate, and with the girl downstairs at work, he had the place to himself.
It had been a pain keeping him quiet when Pearl Button was in, but the drugs had done the trick. Now, though, he would make sure the boy was fully awake.
Trevor went up to his room, smiling fondly at the child tied to his bed. The boy had been in a drug-induced sleep, but as his eyelids fluttered, Trevor could see that he was waking up.
Those wonderful emerald-green eyes flickered open, looking glazed at first, but seeing Trevor, they rounded with fear.
‘So, you’re awake, and as a treat I’ve got you some chocolate,’ Trevor said as he untied the bindings. ‘Now, if you’re really good, I’ll take the gag off. You will be quiet, won’t you?’
The boy nodded, but his eyes filled with tears. Trevor knew that, tempting as it was, he couldn’t keep him much longer. He tousled the boy’s hair, annoyed when he flinched. Why did they have to pretend?
He heaved a sigh. Yes, the lad would have to go soon, but he’d get a good price when he passed him on.
When Pearl awoke again it was after ten o’clock. Something had disturbed her, a sound, and she sat up groggily. Had somebody rang the doorbell? She rubbed her eyes, becoming still when she heard a cry.
Another cry, muffled, and her eyes went to the ceiling. Surely it wasn’t Mr Bardington making that noise?
For a moment the house was silent, the only sound street noises outside. Another faint cry, a yell, and suddenly Pearl flew out of bed. Please God, no, she thought frantically as she pulled on some clothes.
Barefoot, she tiptoed upstairs, struggling to stay calm. Surely she was wrong? Surely she was imagining things? It couldn’t be – it just couldn’t!
Softly Pearl crept along the landing, and reaching Mr Bardington’s door she pressed her ear against it.
At first she heard nothing, but then, as the cry came again, Pearl’s stomach turned a somersault.
For a moment she froze, stiff with panic. She had to do something, had to find help. Derek, she’d get Derek! Without coherent thought, Pearl flew back downstairs, her bare feet making little sound. She dashed outside, leaving the street door wide open behind her, eyes wild as she made for Derek’s stall.
The pavement was sharp underfoot, but Pearl was hardly aware of it. ‘Derek!’ she screamed.
‘What is it? What’s the matter?’
‘Eric … I think I know who’s got Eric! Quick, you’ve got to come!’
‘Come where? Who’s got him?’
‘It’s the man living in the room upstairs. I think Eric’s in there with him. I … I heard a child crying.’
‘Charlie! Denis! Rick! Bob!’ Derek yelled. ‘Quick, come with me.’
‘What’s going on?’ one called.
‘Pearl thinks she knows where Eric is!’
Abandoning customers, the men ran to his side, other costermongers alerted and joining them.
Derek quickly explained, their faces darkening with fury as they all ran to the open door, Pearl behind as they thudded upstairs.
Everything happened so quickly that Pearl could barely take it in. Derek’s shoulder crashed into Mr Bardington’s door, wood splintering, and still in momentum he almost fell into the room, the other men followed in his wake. Mr Bardington yelled, and as all hell let loose, she craned to see over their heads. There was a scream of fear, and then the man was on the floor, a sea of heavy boots kicking him again and again, each one landing with a sickening crunch. He shrieked, and as Pearl ducked low she had a brief glimpse of him, his nose shattered and his face running with blood. She swallowed, wanting to protest, but then Derek appeared with Eric in his arms and bile rose in her throat. Oh, no! Oh God!
All thought of protest died on Pearl’s lips as anger threatened to overwhelm her. She wanted to join the men, to kick Trevor Bardington, to punch him, beat him, to make him suffer for what he had done to an innocent child. He was an animal, a monster! A wall of redness formed in front of her eyes, but then Derek yelled in her ear.
‘Pearl, come on, we’ve got to get Eric out of here! We’ll take him to the café and someone can run for Frank and Lucy.’
Derek’s voice somehow penetrated her fury and she reacted quickly. ‘Yes, of course. I’ll get something to cover him.’
As they went down to the next landing, Pearl dashed into her room, grabbing a blanket from her bed to cover Eric’s naked body. The small crowd that had gathered hushed as they stepped outside, but then a cry went up. ‘Good on yer, Derek.’
‘It was Pearl who found him, not me. Now let me pass. This child needs his mother. Madge, will you run and get her?’
The woman nodded, hurrying away.
As the crowd parted, Derek carried Eric to the café. Dolly must have been alerted, and as they walked in she motioned them upstairs to her flat. ‘Take him to my bedroom.’
As soon as Eric saw Dolly’s bed he went into a panic, fighting to get out of Derek’s arms.
‘It’s all right, darling,’ Pearl said, and as Eric held out his arms in appeal, she took him, holding him closely.
The blanket slipped and there was a gasp. Dolly held a hand over her mouth in horror. ‘Oh my God,’ she whispered. ‘His … his little bottom is covered in blood.’
Pearl sat on the edge of the bed, but as she lowered Eric onto her lap he cried out in pain. Tears flowed then, rolling unchecked down her cheeks as she managed to lay the child gently on his side. She had barely covered him with the blanket when Lucy and Frank Hanwell flew into the room.
‘Eric! Eric!’ Lucy sobbed, thrusting Pearl aside. For a moment she gazed down at her son, but then she lay beside him on the bed, pulling him into her arms.
Frank watched, his face drained of colour, and as Dolly whispered her concerns, his fists balled. ‘Yeah, ring the doctor, but where is the bastard who did this? I’ll kill him with my bare hands.’
‘Don’t worry. I think you’ll find he’s already been taken care of,’ Derek murmured.
As Dolly left to make the telephone call, Frank dropped to his knees by the bed, but Eric turned his head away, refusing to look at his father.
‘Oh, son. Oh, son …’ With a strangled sound in his throat, Frank rose to his feet.
For a while nobody spoke as Lucy continued to rock the boy in her arms.
Then Frank turned to Derek. ‘You found my son and I don’t know how to thank you.’
‘It wasn’t me, mate. As I told the others, it was Pearl who found him.’
Frank’s eyes were moist as he look
ed at her. ‘Well, love, I don’t know how to thank you either, but I’m deeply indebted to you.’
The doctor arrived and asked all but Eric’s parents to leave. Derek and Pearl went downstairs.
‘Pearl, your feet are bare,’ Dolly said brusquely, ‘and you look awful. You’d best take her home again, Derek.’
‘Yes, Mrs D.’
Pearl was led outside, but then shock set in and she was hardly aware of anything as Derek walked her home. Many stallholders and locals patted her back as they trod the short distance, but when Pearl winced as she stood on something sharp, Derek picked her up, carrying her to the still-open street door.
The house was silent as they went in and suddenly Pearl stiffened in Derek’s arms. It felt like a house of horrors now, the thought of living there abhorrent.
‘I … can’t stay here. I just can’t.’
‘All right, love, I’ll take you round to my place. Connie will take care of you.’
Pearl didn’t argue, but as Derek carried her outside again she saw Kevin Dolby amongst the crowd. As their eyes met his smile was like a leer and Pearl looked quickly away, feeling sick inside.
Her arms tightened around Derek’s neck. Oh God, she had betrayed this lovely man. Instead of being cared for and treated like a hero, she should be stoned.
15
After staying at Derek’s overnight and then all weekend, Pearl was able to return to work, but she was still full of self-loathing. Derek and Connie had been so kind. They had believed her lies about being ill and she’d been cosseted by both of them. Of course, this had made her feel worse and she felt torn in two. She had betrayed Derek. Should she break up with him?
Pearl baulked at the thought. Despite her feelings for Kevin, he didn’t want her, he’d made that plain, and if she broke up with Derek she’d be alone again, unprotected. Not only that, she would lose Connie too, a woman she had grown deeply fond of.
A foretaste of what was to come happened as she walked through the market on her way to work. She was greeted with smiles, waves, and several stallholders stuffed bags of fruit into her arms. She was even given a bunch of flowers from the old lady who sat on the opposite corner to the café. The flower seller was known for being mean, her flowers often wired around the base of the blooms to make them look tight and fresh. Pearl took the carnations, the old crone patting her hand, and laden, she was greeted with more smiles from Bernie when he saw her.
‘Hello, love,’ he said. ‘Are you feeling better now?’
‘Yes, I’m fine, thanks.’
‘I see the stallholders have been showing their appreciation. You’d better take that lot through to the kitchen.’
‘Have you heard anything about Eric?’
Bernie’s face straightened. ‘He’s in hospital, and may be there for some time. Go and have a word with Dolly. It’ll be better coming from her.’
‘Pearl!’ Dolly exclaimed. ‘It’s good to see you, girl, but you still look a bit pale. Are you sure you’re up to doing a full shift?’
‘Yes, I’m fine. Bernie said that Eric’s in hospital and you’d tell me why.’
Dolly exhaled loudly. ‘This ain’t gonna be easy for you to hear, but from what we’ve heard he has a lot of rectal damage needing surgery. The poor kid is badly traumatised too.’
‘What about Mr Bardington? Has he been arrested?’
‘Pearl, don’t ever mention that man’s name again, especially to the police. We have a way of looking after our own around here, and believe me, he got what he deserved. As far as the police are concerned, they were told that he ran off.’
‘Oh, please, don’t tell me that he got away?’
‘No, love, there was no chance of that. That bastard will never harm another child.’
‘You … you don’t mean that he’s—’
‘Don’t ask,’ Dolly interrupted. ‘All I’ll say is that there are a couple of blokes who run this borough, and they sorted it out. That’s all you need to know. Now go and get yourself a cup of tea before the rush starts.’
With a small nod, Pearl went back to the dining room. She had seen the beating, and from what Dolly had inferred, could guess what had happened to Trevor Bardington. It she wanted to remain in this area, like everyone else she would have to keep her mouth shut. But her stomach churned. If she had called the police instead of running to Derek, the man might still be alive, but instead she had caused his death.
‘You look awful,’ Bernie said. ‘Are you sure you can manage today?’
‘Yes,’ Pearl told him. She saw Bernie’s concerned expression, the kindness in his eyes, and blurted out, ‘I feel awful about what happened to Trevor Bardington. He’d still be alive if I’d called the pol—’
Bernie held up his hand before she could finish the sentence, saying quickly, ‘Who said he’s dead?’
‘Dolly said he’d never hurt another child again, and … and I assumed that’s what she meant.’
‘Don’t assume anything, Pearl. That bastard got the kicking he deserved and a good one at that, but it wasn’t one of our lot that took a knife to him. When he was handed over, that came later. From what we’ve been told, he’s been castrated, and that’s why he’ll never be able to hurt a child again.’
‘Castrated?’
‘Christ, girl, I ain’t about to explain the procedure. Sufficient to say that the man’s alive and you have nothing to feel guilty about.’
‘Oh, thank God,’ Pearl said, relief making her collapse onto the nearest chair.
‘Here, get that down you,’ Bernie said as he placed a cup of tea in front of her.
Pearl gulped the hot, sweet brew and a few minutes later Alice Freeman arrived.
‘Hello, Pearl, it’s good to have you back. You still look a bit rough, but don’t worry, I’ll help you as much as I can until you’re up to scratch again.’
‘Thanks, Alice.’
‘You’re a bit of a hero around here now and it’s nice to hear that Derek and his gran have been looking after you.’
Pearl hung her head. Yes, Derek and Connie had been wonderful, but after what had happened with Kevin she didn’t feel like a hero. She felt more like a slut.
By the end of the morning rush, Pearl had been inundated with gifts. She had also been hugged, thanked and made a fuss of by every customer.
Derek came in at eight o’clock, his face showing concern. ‘Are you all right, Pearl? Is your tummy still holding up?’
‘It’s fine, but I’m a bit overwhelmed by the way the customers are treating me.’
‘You’re the talk of the market. They’ve taken you to their hearts and you’re one of us now.’
‘But, Derek, all I did was hear a noise.’
‘Yeah, but you acted on it. If you hadn’t, we might never have found Eric. Or when we did, it might have been too late.’ He reached out to take Pearl’s hand. ‘Listen, love, I know you can’t face living in your bedsit, so I’ve had a word with Gran. She said you’re to stay with us until you find somewhere else to live. When you finish work, give me a shout, and I’ll come with you to pack up your stuff.’
Pearl hung her head with shame. She didn’t deserve this kindness, yet at the thought of living in that room, knowing what had happened above her, she felt sick. Derek’s offer was her only alternative, at least until she could find somewhere else.
‘Thanks, Derek,’ she murmured, unable to look him in the face.
It was midday before Pearl saw Kevin. She wanted to hate him, but couldn’t, her heart skipping a beat as he passed. He walked through to the kitchen, ignoring her, and when he came out again, he barely glanced in her direction. Pearl’s eyes blurred with tears. It didn’t seem possible that he could ignore her after something so intimate had happened between them.
Kevin spoke to his father and then walked out of the café without a backward glance, leaving Pearl feeling sick inside. She’d been an idiot, a fool, but despite what he said, she had still clung to the hope that he loved her.
There was a knot of pain in Pearl’s stomach, but then she dashed at her tears, shoulders stiffening with resolve. This was another lesson, one she would never forget. She had let down her barriers – barriers put up long ago in the orphanage. She had allowed someone into her heart, and was now suffering for it. Never again. She would never let her barriers down again.
She was fond of Derek – Connie too – but she wouldn’t allow her feeling to go deeper than that. From now on, nobody would be able to hurt her.
* * *
For the rest of the shift Pearl did her work, but her smile was forced, and once or twice she saw Bernie looking at her worriedly. As soon as the lunchtime rush was over he called her to the counter.
‘You still look a bit rough. Go on home and I’ll help Alice to finish off the tables.’
Pearl thanked him, and though she wasn’t ill, she was glad to leave. She had been fighting all day to bury her feelings and now felt emotionally drained. ‘What about Mrs Dolby? Are you sure she won’t mind?’
‘You leave her to me. Now go on, get yourself home.’
Pearl pulled off her apron and was just leaving the café when she saw Kevin walking towards her. With her head down she made to walk past him, but this time he didn’t ignore her.
‘Well, Pearl. You’re quite the little celebrity now.’
‘Let me pass.’
‘Now then, don’t be hasty. I was just going to suggest that I pop up to see you again tonight.’
‘Wh … what?’
‘I said I’d like to see you again.’
She looked up at his handsome face and her stomach fluttered. ‘You … you said you don’t want a steady girlfriend.’
‘Yeah, that’s right, but we can still have a bit of fun on the side.’
Pearl’s hand flew to her mouth as she shoved past Kevin, flaying herself for once more letting him get through her defences. One look at his handsome face and her resolve crumbled. It had to stop – it had to. She was nearing Derek’s stall now and fought to pull herself together, forcing the mockery of a smile.
