by Lynne Graham
Ashley stilled. 'I beg your pardon?'
'It's really not important-' 'It is to me!'
Reluctantly he turned back to her. 'I considered her to be a close friend,' he confided. 'And one evening, not very long after I had learnt of your visit to that clinic, I went to her apartment…'
'And?' Ashley prompted fiercely.
'I needed someone to talk to but I was very drunk,' he spelt out with distaste, a dark flush of embarrassment accentuating the hard slant of his cheekbones. 'The next morning I woke up in her bed with no memory whatsoever of how I had got there.'
Deeply pained by the image, Ashley turned her head away.
'That's why I married her. She loved me. I believed that I had taken advantage of that. I felt that I had to marry her,' he admitted tautly. 'I thought that you had someone else, I thought that you had had an abortion-'
'Yes,' she conceded strickenly.
'My father was so ill that my mother urged haste. It was complete madness.' Vito emitted a humourless laugh. 'I had lost you. I really didn't care what I did and in that state I married. Only after the wedding did Carina confess that nothing had happened that night. So you see, cara… I was an absolute fool. Had my wits been about me, I might have suspected that I was too incapable of a night of passion, but my wits weren't about me.'
He hadn't told her the truth about his marriage to Carina because that truth had made him feel stupid. Carina had trapped him in the only way she could, relying on his sense of honour to close the bars on that trap.
His mouth tightened. 'I should be entirely honest with you. That wasn't the only reason I married her. She loved me and I wanted you to know that I could get on with my life without you. Not quite the best reason for marrying anyone… least of all a woman worthy of more than I was ever able to give her-'
'She made her choice.'
Vito grimaced. 'She knew I didn't love her but she had this sunny belief that in the end I would. She put up the photos everywhere. They made me feel guilty… that's why it took me so long to have them put away. It was almost as though she was afraid that I forgot she existed if she wasn't immediately in front of me!'
Ashley winced.
Vito straightened. 'I did try to make her happy, but I failed. I couldn't manufacture love to order. I'm really not very good in relationships…in fact, I'm bloody useless!'
'No, you're not. If she knew that you didn't love her, she must surely have known that there would be problems-'
'Which of us are so practical about attaining our heart's desire?' His lustrous dark eyes clung to her briefly and then he squared his broad shoulders and turned away. 'Four years ago, I was so crazy about you I would have married you the first week we met. That wasn't practical either, was it? And that's why I'm leaving now. I don't want your pity.'
'Why would I pity you?' Ashley demanded in a rush of bitterness. 'You were out for revenge, Vito, and you certainly took it!'
'I never wanted revenge,' Vito contradicted with a harsh laugh. 'I wanted you… I needed you, and within days I knew I was still in love with you!'
Ashley gaped at him, transfixed.
'You wouldn't have given me a second chance if I'd asked for one. You hated me,' he intoned, pale and taut. 'I thought I could make you love me-'
He had said exactly the same thing two days ago in her bedroom, only she had completely misunderstood what he was telling her. He had been telling her that he still loved her, asking if she could ever forgive him for what he had done – and she had made no response. 'I can't bear your silence', he had said.
'But you said you wanted a child!' she cried.
He grimaced. 'I didn't want you to suspect how badly I needed you. And if there was a child, I intended to use that child to keep you. I was betting on a dark horse but I couldn't believe that you would be able to walk away.'
'You were right.'
'One right and countless wrongs,' he countered savagely.
'No,' she countered with a soft catch in her voice.
'Your score is just a little higher. When did you realise that I wasn't lying about having had a miscarriage?' He flung her an impatient look. 'Does that matter now?'
'Yes,' she insisted, thinking she was a heel to keep him in suspense like this, but she had to know.
'After you had that accident in Sri Lanka. I really thought I had lost you. Such shocks tend to clear the head,' he grated. 'I realised that I loved you and that nothing else past or present mattered. My own obstinacy was the biggest barrier between us. I had to let go of my own bitterness. You had never lied to me, so why I had to ask myself-should you be lying now, in the present?'
Ashley was trembling with the force of her emotion. 'You'd better unpack again. I don't want you to go.'
He went rigid, slashed a hand through the air. 'But I can't live with you like this! This afternoon, I saw how you must always have seen me,' he delivered half under his breath, his strong emotion palpable. 'I saw what you must truly think of me. You believe that I am a man like your father.'
As she finally understood what had forced his decision to leave, she could have cried. Vito had seen the childhood source of all her defences and put the wrong interpretation on that new knowledge. 'Never,' she argued with determination, not yet ready to admit to him that she had ever been so foolish. 'My father made me afraid of loving. He made me afraid of marriage. He made me afraid of turning out like my mother. Loving you terrified me four years ago! I just couldn't handle it. But I can handle it now. Don't you see that? I don't hate you, Vito… I love you.'
The torment in his intense gaze as he struggled to believe threatened to tear her apart. He crossed the room, reached out two powerful arms and hauled her up against him hard. She met the hot violence of his drugging mouth with equally fierce demands of her own. She couldn't get enough of him. He couldn't get enough of her. Breathing was a challenge as she sunk her greedy fingers into the springy depths of his hair and trapped him in place.
'Dio, it's been so long,' he groaned, surfacing for air. 'I would give ten years of my life to make love to you now!'
'No such sacrifice required.' Ashley hauled him back into her arms with unashamed tenacity.
In the act of being dragged towards the bed, he stiffened and dug long fingers into her mane of hair to still their progress. 'We can't,' he sighed. 'The baby. I read this book.'
'Wh-what book?' she stammered, suddenly embarrassed by her own lack of inhibition.
He stared down at her, gravely serious. 'If there's a danger of miscarriage… no sex.'
'My consultant told me that there's no grounds for my worries,' Ashley whispered, quivering in a white heat of excitement as he involuntarily responded to her proximity by grinding his hips against her in a movement of such blatant male need that her brain cells all turned simultaneously to sludge.
'Are you sure?'
Single-mindedly, she ran teasing fingers down the line of his straining zip. As she leant against him, her hand lingered there in an uninhibited hunger of fascination. It was over a fortnight since he had touched her, and, now that she knew why he had practised such restraint, all inhibitions were cast to the four winds. He was incredibly, wonderfully aroused.
'Dio, I would die if I lost you again,' he bit out raggedly.
'No chance,' she asserted unsteadily. 'Do you really love me?'
'Passionately… madly… forever,' she gasped under the wild onslaught of his hands and mouth. 'Vito… your chauffeur must be waiting in the car!'
He fell back on the bed with her, deaf to all reasoning of the prosaic variety. 'I can't believe that you can forgive me,' he groaned into her hair. 'I screwed up at every turn.'
'I'll take it out of your hide… my way,' Ashley told him. He bit sensuously at the ripe curve of her breast as he slowly dispensed with the scrap of lace depriving him of proper access. 'I'm all yours,' he confided. 'My jealousy blinded me to what I was doing to you in the past. I spent four hellish years wanting you. I nearly worked myself to dea
th trying to forget you. And then you walked into my office that day and suddenly I knew that I would move heaven and earth to get you back. That night, after the opera, I knew that I still loved you. I was devastated by how I felt. I wasn't in control-'
'Neither was I, and that's the way it should be.' She ran loving fingers along the taut line of his mouth. 'You brought us together again. How could I not forgive you for that?' she teased.
'I'll never forgive myself for not being there when you lost the baby,' he admitted gruffly.
Her green eyes shadowed. 'I wanted it so much because you had gone. That was all I had left-' 'Don't-' As he buried his face in the sweet valley between her breasts, she felt the moisture on his cheeks, comprehended his sudden rigidity.
She smoothed his head in forgiveness but her own throat was closing over. 'It happens, Vito. It just wasn't meant to be.' And maybe it would be the same this time too, she conceded painfully, but wishing and worrying weren't likely to change her prospects either way. Perhaps tomorrow she would share those fears. But not tonight. Now was a time to celebrate the sheer joy of being together. But Vito was not so easily diverted. He had to know everything about that first pregnancy. How she had felt, what she had done, how she had managed,' what the miscarriage had been like. Finally she felt the benefit of that sharing. The past slid back to where it should be, less painful than it had ever been.
'I was so shattered when you wouldn't marry me,' he breathed. 'But you were right. Much of it was my ego.'
'I shouldn't have moved out of the apartment so quickly. I was being childish, making a point,' she muttered ruefully. 'I couldn't believe it when you didn't come in search of me. That far, I did trust you even then.'
'I love you so much.' Vito wrapped both arms tightly around her. 'I will never fail you again-'
'You're failing right now.' As he tensed and looked anxiously down into her dancing green eyes, she added softly, running a teasing hand down a long lean thigh, 'I seem to remember something about this guy who gave me fabulous sex… and here I am offering solid gold I'll-never-Iet-you-go commitment-'
'If you feel like it,' he murmured lazily. 'I do… I do!'
'I'll take them up for their nap.' Fixing a mock-stern expression to her round face, Priya shooed the two giggling little boys up the slope towards the villa. Marco darted back to treat Ashley to a soggy kiss. He was the quiet twin. Carlo, not to be outdone, came tumbling back, dashed a kiss on her cheek and mumbled, 'No nap, Mummy.' He was the pushy one.
Sent back to rejoin Priya, he dragged his plump little legs and threw her a reproachful glance. For a split second he was Vito to the manner born. Susan laughed. 'He's a real little operator, isn't he?'
'I can't believe they're nearly two years old.' Ashley rested back on her lounger and smiled at her sister, thinking how much closer they had become since the twins' birth.
'Time flies when you're enjoying yourself. I wonder what mine will be like.' Susan patted the slight bulge of her once flat stomach. 'I don't care as long as he's healthy.'
'He will be,' Ashley soothed.
'I never thought I would get up the courage…if it hadn't been for the twins-'
'An utterly trouble-free pregnancy,' Ashley reminded her with a grin.
Susan lifted the book that Ashley had been reading, raising a brow at the title. 'Educational Psychology,' she groaned. 'You have to be out of your mind to want to sign on as a student again.'
'It's something I need to do.' 'I'm amazed Vito agreed.'
Ashley smiled with contentment. 'He understands perfectly. '
Vito strode up with Arnold lagging a few steps in his wake. All burnished brown vitality, he crouched down. 'You look really tired, cara.'
'It's all the studying she's trying to do into the bargain,' Susan said disapprovingly.
'It's the heat,' Vito contradicted, springing up. 'You're shameless,' Ashley hissed when they were out of earshot.
Vito followed her upstairs. 'Why should guests change our routine?' He dealt her a wicked grin. 'I can hardly tell your sister that I'm feeling incredibly randy and would she excuse us for a few hours!'
'So I'm just routine now, am I?'
'You're the most gloriously passionate and loved woman alive. And you know it, you shameless hussy,' he reproved, tugging her down on to the bed. 'Let's make the most of the time we have left before your parents arrive.'
'Do you think they'll like it here?' she sighed anxiously.
'Sylvia will love it, but your father… utterly surrounded by foreigners?' Vito gave vent freely to his humour at the prospect.
But Hunt Forrester had changed a great deal. Her parents had ended up seeing a Relate counsellor. The old bullying tactics were no more. Her mother simply wouldn't stand for such treatment now. And through occasional visits and some admittedly awkward discussions Ashley had formed a new relationship with her father. They would never be particularly close, but what they did have was considerably more than she had ever expected to achieve.
'I'm looking forward to seeing Tim.' Her brother was taking a rare break from his medical studies. Vito had been very good to her kid brother, she acknowledged. Whenever they were in London, Tim treated their home as his.
'And while your father is doing his level best to survive his trip abroad, you can continue to find the heat too much in the afternoons,' Vito instructed single-mindedly, running the tip of his tongue seductively along the full line of her lower lip. She let him claim her mouth in a devouring kiss, felt as always the ripples of excitement begin to build. It never failed. As he shuddered responsively against her, she smiled secretively beneath the rising urgency of his mouth. Some day, when he was in a really good mood, she would ask him who had actually tamed whom.
Lynne Graham
***
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