by Fanny Finch
“Ah… I see. I do understand, my lady. I take a walk or go hunting. That always helps. When I was in the Indies, I joined the monks in meditating. I have been doing more than since I returned. It’s different. More effective.”
“Meditating? I have read of that, in the books. They explain it as a thing, religious.”
“Some may call it spiritual, lady. Maybe it is. However, it is mostly connecting with one’s spirit, not another’s like many believe.”
She was curious to know more. It was in her habit of hunger for knowledge. Intrigued by the matter, she did not know when she stepped closer to him.
“One’s spirit? You are one of those who believe in these matters, then?”
He smiled, a small one, and she saw from the side of her eyes as his lips creased.
“Do you not, my lady? You are a Christian, are you not?”
“We are in England, my lord. Certainly, we all believe in the church.”
“True. And to believe in the church is to believe in God. Man has the soul, the flesh and the spirit. Meditation, they say, helps you connect with the spirit.”
“How can you be so certain, my lord? When you cannot see, feel or touch it?”
“You just know. You feel it, I suppose. Meditation brings peace, my lady.”
They stopped then and turned to look at each other. The way he spoke, and the sadness that plagued his eyes in a flash, before he quickly blinked it away, told her that there was indeed, more to the marquess.
She wondered if she would be doing too much if she went ahead to ask the questions that plagued her mind.
One did not seek what he did not have. If Sebastian sought peace, did that mean he was troubled? If he was, what troubled him?
Deciding that it was rather a fine morning to ruin with sour discussions, she let it go. There would be another time. A perfect time. Then, she would remember to ask of it.
“Mayhap, I shall go back to those books and see if they can teach me how to properly do my meditation. I would like to see what it is like for one to feel her own spirit.”
“I shall be happy to offer what I know about it, my lady. You only need to tell me when you are ready to begin.”
Smiling, she decided to tease him. “You would approve of a lady doing so? Do you not think of it improper?”
“Certainly not, my lady.”
“So, I suppose the women in India meditate also?”
“Yes. A good number of them.”
“Very well then, I assume it shall not be wrong for me to want to try.”
“Certainly not.”
He was smiling, it was a small smile, but she could hear it in his voice. It made her want to smile, but she held it back. He was yet to speak of that night and she refused to warm up any more than she had done already until he tendered his apologies.
Looking away, she started to walk again. He fell into pace beside her, once more.
“You mentioned hunting, my lord. I noticed you were with a bow and arrow that evening. Had you been in the woods for that?”
“Yes, indeed. I could not bring myself to kill any game, so I spent my time scaring off the animals, instead. My Steed, Pius, enjoyed it very much and so did I. All I truly needed was to get away from home. The woods provided that escape.”
“And the lake,” she added softly.
“So you finally confess that it was you. I had thought the strange lady seemed awfully familiar, even guessed that it could be. Yet, I could not be so certain. I had never seen your face and the cloak you were, left much to imagine. The night light was not fair, either. Not to mention, I did not think the calm and sensible Lady Liliana would be one to embark on such a dangerous affair.”
“You would mean a sensible lady would not dare be adventurous, my lord?”
“No. Certainly not. That was not my meaning, my lady. I simply meant to say, I did not think you had such an adventuresome spirit in you.”
“You would call me a bore, then?”
He came to a halt, yet again. She could feel the agitation in his stance. Liliana smiled secretly to herself before stopping and turning on her feet, so they faced each other.
“Again, that was not my meaning, my lady. I simply… you struck me as a lady who would rather be in her room with her needles and machines all day, in the library with many books than she can read in her lifetime, or in the garden tending to flowers that could never hope to match her beauty.”
The intensity in his gaze as he said those last words shook her. They stood there for a moment, the spell of silence cast upon them and tried as she did, she could not bring herself to look away.
At the very least, she hoped that he would not hear her thudding heart, though it was common knowledge that her rosy cheeks were naked to him. That, she could not help.
Clearing her throat, she sought to find her voice. When it eluded her still, she swallowed, in a bid to wet her suddenly parched throat.
“I am all of those things too, my lord,” she finally spoke, her voice almost a whisper.
“As I have come to learn. Beyond that, you are more.”
She nodded. The way he continued to look at her, was as though he saw her for all she was. Truly saw her.
“Yes. I am the lady who runs away from home when no one is watching because I love to be by my self. I love the waters, I love the woods, I love the swans. I love the wind that blows against my face when I’m high on Roel. I love the way she feels beneath me. I love the sound of her hooves pounding against the soil. I love the setting run and its glory when it rises again in the morn. I enjoy the sea. I would love to see the world as it is, beyond England. There is a daring spirit in me, my lord. I have only learned to keep it hidden, for not many would understand a lady who would dare to dream of more than being a mother and wife.”
As she finished, she found it that her breaths had become a bit labored, but it was only because she was trying not to breathe. Holding on, as she awaited his response. What would it be?
Many men liked their women quiet and obedient. A woman who enjoyed the demure life of waking daily and running the household, throwing balls and attending functions, no more, no less.
Was Lord Longcross like those men? Or was he different?
Stones aged as she waited for his response. He continued to look at her, pensive, as though in deep thought.
Why did it have to matter so much, what he thought of her?
Then, in that moment, something happened. Slowly, his lips began to curve, until a full-blown smile stole over his features.
Chapter 14
“I have always known there was something special about you, Lady Liliana. Right from the very first day, I set my eyes upon you, all those years ago. I am happy to learn that my instincts have not failed me, yet again.”
Pleasantly surprised by this, she asked, “My audacious nature does not bother you, my lord?”
“Not that I am in the right to be bothered by your person, but the answer is no. Not in the very least. In fact, I find myself impressed. It would appear that we have a lot in common, my lady. I am quite the wanderer, myself. I suppose it is a good thing that I have found a lady who shares my spirit, and who would surely make a great companion.”
A great companion… did he mean for life? Like a wife? Or was he simply speaking of friendship? She supposed time would tell, for she found it, she could not bring herself to ask.
She also found it, that she was suddenly breathing well now. Ah…
“You are a different man, my lord.”
“It is a good thing then, that you are a different woman. So, tell me, when did you realize it was I, at the lake? Or did you always know?”
She smiled at that. “I wish I could say yes, then I would have bested you at one thing. Sadly, I cannot. I only surmised it after I had arrived home. Although, like you, I suspected.”
“Hmm. I see. Pray tell me, what gave?”
She smiled again. “The voice, your stature, and I could swear that it was the cr
ossbow you were gifted at your ball, that I spied by your side, as we rode.”
“You are very attentive, my lady.”
She simply bowed her head, still smiling. As she stood tall, once more, she asked, “And for you? What gave?”
His answer was simple, and the way the word slipped past his lips, made her heart skip a beat.
“Everything.”
Her brows raised, “Everything?”
“Yes, everything. I might only have danced with you one time, on a night I could not even see your face. Yet, the carriage, the voice, your mannerism. All of them called to me, the way only you manage to, my lady.”
Did she call to him?
Her cheeks were flaming with wildfire now, especially when she considered that he seemed to have closed the distance between them. Now, they stood no more than a foot apart from each other.
It could be considered improper and rightly so, for a lady and gentleman who were unpromised to one another, such as them. Yet, she could not bring herself to right that wrong.
“Yet, you were not certain,” she managed to grate out.
“No, I was not. Not until I too arrived home, and I realized that you had spoken of your father’s territory. I would know that my uncle is a baron and oversees Everton. He only has two daughters. I was certain it could not be Nora. She strikes me as flighty. Too flighty to have been so calm by the lake. I hope you do not take that wrongly.”
“Certainly not, my lord. It is common knowledge that my sister is given to theatrics. She tries to behave in social gatherings, but for all good of an actor she is, she can barely hide her true self. I find it, I cannot fault her for that. She is completely sweet.”
“And you are beautiful, my lady,” he whispered, cutting her short and rendering her momentarily speechless.
“I… er… I…” she stuttered, then paused to drag in a deep breath. “Thank you, my lord.”
“I had hoped to have this discussion with you at the ball. I looked forward to seeing you once again, beholding your face in full light this time, and dancing with you into the night. I am sorry to have left as I did. I was called away to urgent matters and I did not have the time to find you and say good night. I did ask my mother to express my regrets, though.”
Of course, the duchess had indeed explained that Longcross had been sorry to leave, but Liliana had been too disappointed to give a thought. She had simply believed her grace was being polite. Now, she knew that Longcross had truly thought of her.
“I do hope you accept my sincerest apologies, my lady. And that you give me the chance to atone for my sins. I beg of thee.”
But how could she not accept, when he pleaded so earnestly, his beautiful eyes reaching into her heart to tug at its strings.
Her stomach squirmed with fussy feelings and her chest filled with warmth.
“You sound as though you have a proposition…” she finally responded, mentally commending herself when she managed to sound indifferent.
“Oh, I do. From our very few conversations together so far, my lady, I do believe I can firmly say we share a common love for many things. Would I be right to reckon that the theatre happens to be one of them?”
She smiled at the twinkle in his eyes. This was a man on a mission and she knew that she could not resist him. She was beginning to fancy him… all too much.
“I have been by, once or twice. I thoroughly enjoyed the experience both times.”
“Ah, good. Good. Which do you prefer, my lady? The plays or the books?”
“Oh, I have not seen enough plays to be a good judge, but I have read plenty of books. You would understand if I am biased.”
“Undoubtedly so. You would not happen to have read “The Widow’s Plight”, would you, my lady?”
She chuckled at this. It was one of her favorite books. Told so beautifully by its author who refused to be named.
“Only a handful of times, my lord. Perhaps, a hundred?”
She jested. He was grinning now, understanding her jest and taking it in like note.
“Oh? I would think a thousand times would be the barest for a lover like yourself.”
“Oh, surely, I must have surpassed the count. I simply did not want to appear boastful, is all.”
“Ah, truly? I see. Very well then. We shall do this, my lady. I happen to fancy plays more. “The Widow’s Plight” shall be played in the theatre in four days. Allow me to take you, my lady. After the play, then you shall decide which you favor over the other.”
Liliana already knew her answer, but she made a show of thinking about it before she spoke.
“I suppose it shall be a good way to atone for your sins, my lord. However, you shall have to speak with father, first.”
He did not miss a beat. “With your leave, I shall. Only promise me you shall come with me.”
“You have my word,” she replied; softly, promptly.
It was clear then, she had forgiven him completely and as they turned to go back to the house, she found herself thinking of which dress would be perfect for the outing.
_
Rothwell stood by the window in his hallway, his stepdaughter by side, as he looked out at the other.
He had come straight here to mind them, the moment Hortcroft had told him of their walk in the gardens. Not that he was overly concerned over matters of propriety.
The garden was open land and no improper behavior would stand the chance of being hidden. Beyond that, when it came to matters like this, Longcross held his utmost trust.
Indeed, the reason why he had come to watch was entirely different. He had simply needed to see for himself, more proof that Longcross was truly besotted by Liliana.
Rothwell had suspected that the young marquess had picked a liking for Liliana at the masquerade ball, but he had not been too certain. The second ball had increased those suspicions and after watching them today, he reckoned he would be right to say that his suspicions had been confirmed.
It was just as well. If Longcross and Liliana ended up in marriage, it would be a dream come true for Rothwell. The relationship between himself and the Leightons would be further solidified, as they would not be in-laws also.
Not to mention, Liliana would never want for anything in life. To see her gainfully married would be a thing of joy for Rothwell. He would rest easy after she was gone, knowing that he never had to worry about her.
It was what he willed for both his daughters. Gainful marriage. He had promised their mother that he would care for them like his own, he would not see them suffer.
He had loved Ariel more than words would ever suffice. He intended to keep that promise, no matter what it cost.
“He seems quite taken by her, father. I do believe a marriage shall happen in no time.”
Rothwell smiled at his daughter’s words. That would be a wish come true. A pleasant one.
“Lovely, is it not? See the way he looks at her.” He paused to give a dramatic sigh, then continued. “Something worries me though. I am not quite certain yet, but I feel the need to take some of my eggs from this basket. I know all too well, how fickle the interest of men is. Liliana… your sister, she’s very lovely. I only fear… would she be able to hold the interest of this man, long enough? I worry he shall grow weary soon, and tire of her.”
“I beg to disagree, my father. Lilly can be very quiet at times, but she is more than meets the eyes. Lord Longcross is well-traveled, she is well-read. Father always said that one could go anywhere in the world, inside the pages of a book. I daresay, she shall continue to hold his interests, they both look smitten.”
Rothwell wanted to believe Nora, but he found himself being held back. Why?
“She is your sister, after all. You do know her better. You shared the same womb. Nevertheless, in the case that something goes wrong, you shall have to step in as always and take her place. Only until after the marriage has been sealed.”
Nora froze, and as she thawed, turned to look at him. He saw the questions and
uncertainties in her eyes, but he knew she would not utter them, or refuse his wishes. The child worshiped him.
It was an adoration he had never received from Lilly. Where the latter was courteous, full of regard, perhaps, some sort of admiration and gratitude where he was concerned, Nora showed absolute loyalty and devotion. She believed herself indebted to him for the life they had come to enjoy.
He could not fault the child. He had been a wonderful father to them. It was only right, that she repaid him with loyalty.
