by Lucy Gordon
But Joanna was equal to the challenge.
‘Considering that this century is only a few years old, I think I can say definitely yes. If you’d asked me about the last century I’d have to be more cautious.’
Everybody laughed and there was a smattering of applause for the adroit way she’d avoided the trap. Even the man who’d tried to bait her raised his glass in salute, and a few minutes later he engaged her in a serious discussion that was at variance with his former manner.
The others began to crowd around, and soon she realised that she was practically giving a lecture.
Gustavo tried to stay in the background. He had a strange feeling of watching Joanna at a distance. The perspective seemed to change every moment, both confusing and delighting him.
He’d seen her in shabby old clothes, bustling around the dig, giving orders to her team, laughing with them but always very much the boss.
In England she’d been the comforting friend, offering her arms to hold him and her gentle wisdom to help him. Then he’d seen her as a bride again, and moved closer to an unknown land that he now realised had been haunting him for years. It was still there, tantalisingly just out of reach.
But watching her now, at ease in these surroundings, dominating the crowd with her beauty, wit and expertise, he saw a new Joanna. Marrying her would be like marrying at least four women.
He tried to shut his thoughts off there, but they persisted in straying into forbidden territory.
With sudden decisiveness he rose from his chair and went over to her. The ‘lecture’ was over and she was flirting with three men at once.
‘If you’re tired we could go home,’ he suggested.
There was a roar of disapproval and cries of ‘Spoil-sport’. Joanna looked at him, her eyes glinting with fun.
‘Am I tired?’ she teased.
He laid his hand persuasively on her arm.
‘I think you might be,’ he said softly.
‘In that case-’
She stopped because a man behind her had given a sharp intake of breath. Gustavo too had seen something that filled him with dismay. Turning her head, Joanna saw Crystal standing in the doorway, as beautiful as the fairy on the tree.
In that frozen moment only one thought pervaded Joanna’s mind.
Dammit! She would have to be wearing black too!
It was ludicrous, but for a moment it would serve as a shield between herself and the full wretchedness of the situation.
Like Joanna, Crystal had gained from the years. She was as dainty as ever, her hair as perfectly blonde, but experience had added a knowingness to her face.
It was true that, like Joanna, she wore black, but there the similarity stopped. Her dress was very tight and very short, revealing a pair of stunning legs.
For a long moment she stood still in the doorway, allowing her effect to sink in. Then she smiled and came forward to Maria, arms outstretched.
‘Dear Maria, I’m positively in sackcloth and ashes. It’s dreadful of me to gatecrash your party, isn’t it?’
Since the only possible response to this was a denial, Maria obliged, embracing Crystal with apparent warmth, although her eyes flickered nervously to Gustavo and Joanna. But both had recovered themselves sufficiently to appear untroubled.
Crystal turned her big guns on to Joanna.
‘Jo, darling, how lovely to see you after all this time. And so famous now! I’m really honoured to be allowed into your presence.’
She enveloped her in an embrace, which gave Joanna the chance to mutter in her ear, ‘Don’t be an idiot, Crystal. It’s a good act but you’re overdoing it. Actually, you always did.’
Crystal drew back just enough to smile into her face and murmur, ‘I know, darling, but when time is short, overdoing it can be very useful.’
She surveyed Joanna fully.
‘My, you have improved! Everything they say about you is true.’
Not for the world would Joanna have asked what ‘they’ said about her. She merely raised her eyebrows satirically and replied, ‘Is that so? I doubt if the same could be said about you.’
She saw with satisfaction that Crystal wasn’t sure how to take this. She turned away and began working the room, managing to draw the ministers and film star into her web at the same time, not seeming to notice Gustavo, whose face was very pale.
The party, which had briefly paused, began to swirl around them again. Joanna saw Gustavo turn away and take a few deep breaths. The sight dismayed her. Perhaps she’d been wrong about everything if Crystal could still affect him like this.
He came to her side.
‘What the devil is she doing here?’ he muttered. ‘She’s supposed to be in Paris.’
‘You didn’t have any warning of this?’
‘Good God, no!’ he said violently. ‘Do you think I’d have brought you here if I’d known?’
‘Shall we leave?’
‘I think that would be a good idea. Let’s find our hostess.’
But the next moment Crystal laid a hand on his arm.
‘Gustavo, my dear, you surely aren’t avoiding me, are you?’
‘I was being tactful, Crystal. People are watching us with interest.’
‘I know. Isn’t it fun?’
‘I don’t find it fun to be stared at.’
‘No, you never did know how to enjoy yourself.’
‘Our ideas about enjoyment were always different,’ he growled.
‘Darling, our ideas about everything were different. Let’s not go over that old ground again. The thing is that I do need to talk to you privately. Joanna won’t mind, I know. Let’s go out onto the balcony.’
Gustavo turned to Joanna, stiff with awkwardness at the scene Crystal had forced on him.
‘If you’ll excuse me for a moment.’
‘Of course,’ she said, sounding as cheerful as possible, trying to make him feel easier. ‘You two go and talk.’
‘And you go back to your admirers,’ Crystal said, making Joanna wonder just how long she’d been there. ‘My, what a success you’ve had! Tomorrow, all Rome will be talking about you even more than they already are.’
She went straight out of the glass door leading to the balcony.
‘Go on,’ Joanna urged him. ‘Of course you two need to talk. I’ll be fine.’
‘With your admirers?’ he echoed edgily.
‘Of course. The more the better. Go and talk to her.’
But he stood looking at her, an unaccustomed fierceness in his eyes. A rush of something-jealousy? cunning?-made her say, ‘If you can cosy up to Crystal I can cosy up to whoever I please.’
‘I am not cosying up to her and you know it,’ he said furiously.
‘Better ask what her plans are.’
He ground his teeth. ‘You’re the one who’s urging me to follow her out there.’
‘Yes, so go.’
‘Joanna-’
‘Go!’
Glowering, he went out onto the balcony. Joanna watched him leave, wondering what had come over her. It had been a stupid, irrational spat that made no sense at all.
And she felt a thousand times better for it.
One of her flirts approached her, offering champagne.
‘No, thank you,’ she said kindly. ‘What I’d really like is a nice cup of tea.’
Outside, in the cool air of the balcony, Gustavo stood regarding Crystal.
‘I thought you were in Paris,’ he said. ‘That was your last excuse for not coming to see your daughter.’
‘I got home from Paris last week. How is poor little Renata?’
‘Very unhappy. And she wouldn’t be “poor little Renata” if you gave her some of your attention. When are you coming to see her?’
‘When I can. I’ve so much to see to just now. I’m buying an apartment in Rome and it’s taking up all my time.’
‘Well, at least if you’re living in Rome you’ll be able to see Renata a good deal.’
‘I wish yo
u wouldn’t keep harping on about that,’ Crystal said fretfully. ‘It’s much better for her to be with you. My life wouldn’t suit her at all.’
‘I’m not talking about her living with you, but visiting you, once you’re living in Rome. She’ll be able to visit you a lot now, won’t she?’
‘Well, I expect we’ll sort something out,’ Crystal said vaguely. ‘But that’s not what I brought you out here to talk about. Have you had a letter from my lawyer yet?’
‘Yes, it came this morning.’
‘Well?’
‘What do you expect me to say, Crystal? You know I can’t find a sum like that at a moment’s notice.’
‘Hardly a moment’s notice. It’s months since I left. You’ve had plenty of warning.’
‘Yes, but our agreement was that the rest of what I owed you could be paid next year.’
‘I know, I know, but I need it now. Things have changed. I want to get on with my life.’
‘Where’s your boyfriend? He doesn’t seem to be here tonight.’
‘Oh, him,’ she said dismissively. ‘That’s all over.’
‘So soon?’
She shrugged. ‘He was all right for a while. He had certain-talents.’
‘Yes, you mentioned that at the time,’ he said coldly. ‘I gather his talents weren’t enough in the long run.’
‘I got bored with him,’ she admitted. ‘He wanted us to settle permanently in Naples and have lots and lots of bambini.’
‘No, I remember that lots and lots of bambini never did fit into your schedule, did they?’ Gustavo said drily.
‘Well, anyway, we’re not together now,’ Crystal said, adroitly sliding away from the subject. ‘There was no way I was going to bury myself in Naples, bambini or no bambini. So I left him.’
‘Despite his remarkable talents?’
She shrugged. ‘There are other talented men in the world. I’m ready to start again, and I want the rest of my money.’
‘Crystal, for pity’s sake, I’m doing my best, but I can’t produce it just like that. Surely you can be patient a little longer?’
‘It seems that I’m going to have to be. Just don’t make me wait too long. After all, you’ve got that huge estate. You can borrow against it.’
‘Have you any idea how much I had to borrow to pay you the first half of the money? Of course not.’
‘How could I? In any case, I’ve never understood much about money unless it was in large, simple amounts.’
‘Well, we’re talking about a large, simple amount now, and it’s more than I can raise so quickly.’
‘Oh, really, darling, don’t be silly. Of course you can raise it. There’s always Joanna.’
His face tightened. ‘And what exactly do you mean by that?’
‘She’s worth far more than I ever was. People say you and she are as thick as thieves these days. So it’s easy. All you have to do is marry her.’
CHAPTER TEN
GUSTAVO stared as though he couldn’t believe what he had heard.
‘What-did you say?’ he asked slowly.
‘I said you should marry Joanna. Really, darling, don’t be dense. She’s got enough money to solve all your problems.’
When he still didn’t speak she came closer.
‘And then you could afford anything you wanted-including getting rid of me. Isn’t that a tempting prospect?’
‘That’s enough!’
There was genuine rage in Gustavo’s voice, enough to silence her, if only for a moment.
‘Don’t ever speak like that again,’ he snapped. ‘Don’t even think it at the bottom of your scheming little mind.’
‘All right, all right, there’s no need to be like that. I’m only thinking of your welfare.’
‘You were thinking of what suited you, and nothing else.’
‘Well, I don’t know what you’re making such a fuss about. You need a rich wife and there aren’t many who are richer than her. Goodness knows what she’s doing working for a living.’
‘Yes, you wouldn’t understand that, would you?’ he said harshly. ‘Joanna works because she loves her subject more than anything in the world, except her son.’
‘More than you?’
The question attacked him like a knife, making him draw in a sharp breath.
At last he spoke emphatically. ‘Joanna does not love me.’
She surveyed him, her head on one side.
‘Really? Well, I dare say you’d know all about that. Besides, there’s no need to despair. With a little effort I’m sure you could make her love you-’
‘Drop it,’ he said in a low voice. ‘Drop it if you know what’s good for you.’
Crystal sighed. ‘Oh, darling, how touchy you are. She’s your best chance, and you’d be wise to take it and then-’
She checked herself and backed off at the murderous look in Gustavo’s eyes.
‘Go to hell!’ he told her with soft fury. ‘Go to hell and stay there. Do you understand me?’
On the last words he raised his voice enough for it to carry faintly beyond the glass doors into the room, so that those standing nearest jumped and turned their heads. The next moment Gustavo erupted through the door and went straight to Joanna.
‘If you’re ready-’ he said.
‘Of course,’ she said, wondering what could have happened to make him so pale.
He got through the farewells to their hosts as quickly as he could square with courtesy before drawing her out of the room. The last thing Joanna saw was Crystal, looking like the cat that had swallowed the cream. It was a look she recalled from long ago, and it made her shiver.
Not until they were shut into the back of the limousine and the chauffeur was starting the engine did Joanna say, ‘For heaven’s sake, what happened? Why were you shouting?’
‘Because that woman…’ He clenched his hands, realising the impossibility of telling Joanna anything about that conversation. ‘I can’t talk to her without getting angry.’
‘Do you think she went there on purpose?’
‘Oh, yes, she knew we were going to be there.’
‘What about the fitness instructor?’
‘She left him in Naples. Apparently it’s all over.’
A tremor went along her nerves. She tried not to heed it. ‘So she’s back for good?’ she asked lightly.
‘She now has an apartment in Rome, and is talking about getting on with her life.’
‘Was that what she wanted to tell you, and that made you so angry?’
‘No, it was something else. Don’t ask me, I can’t tell you.’
His tone was abrupt because he felt hideously embarrassed by Crystal’s words. He resented the way she’d intruded on the delicate feelings that had been growing between himself and Joanna recently.
It was something he’d never known before, totally different from his passion for Crystal, which had blazed across the sky like a comet before dying abruptly. He knew now that his love for her had been almost entirely physical, taking no account of the person she was. And when he’d discovered that person, the love was over.
With Joanna it was the reverse. He treasured her warmth, her gentleness and understanding, the mysterious sense that she held the world in her hands and could share it with him. Desiring her had come later.
She was the woman he wanted. Twelve years ago it had been too soon. Now the time was right for them.
Or, at least, for him. About her he was still unsure. To Crystal he’d given an instinctive denial, appalled by the way her cynicism was dirtying something so precious. But secretly he was still waiting to learn the truth.
Joanna had fallen silent and he realised that his tone must have sounded like a snub.
‘Forgive me,’ he said gently. ‘I shouldn’t take it out on you. I don’t know what I’m saying. I just wish I could turn the clock back to before tonight.’
She gave a faint smile that he could only just make out in the gloom of the car.
‘No u
se,’ she murmured. ‘I’ve often wanted to turn the clock back.’
‘Yes, so have I. But I can never quite decide how far back to go.’
‘To the last moment of happiness?’ she said. ‘Or the last moment before a terrible mistake? Or perhaps it doesn’t matter, and we’d make the same mistake again. Because you couldn’t look into the future and see what was waiting, any more than you could the first time.’
‘Joanna, you’re talking mysteries. What mistakes could you ever have made?’
She shook her head ruefully. ‘Don’t take any notice of me, Gustavo. I’m talking nonsense.’
He leaned closer, trying to see her face, wanting to know if the half-smile he fancied he saw was real, and, if so, what it meant.
‘You never talk nonsense,’ he said. ‘It always means something, and it’s always something that I want to know about.’
She shook her head. ‘Now it’s I who cannot tell you. You must let me have my secrets.’
But he too shook his head. ‘No, I want to know your secrets. Every one of them. I want to know what you’re thinking and feeling. I want-I want you.’
He had sworn not to say it, but he was no longer in command of himself. He knew that he should not take her into his arms and kiss her, but nothing could have stopped him.
He knew now that he’d meant this to happen since the night of the wedding, the night that had been interrupted. Since then, whatever he’d been doing, at any moment of the night or day, he’d been thinking of her, needing her, wanting her.
To Joanna it was a thousand kisses in one. It was here and now, but it was also every kiss he’d ever given her in her dreams. But then she dismissed the dreams: ghostly memories, yearning fantasies. They had no reality against the man, warm and solid in her arms, covering her mouth with purposeful lips.
Her own lips moved against his, seeking him more deeply, thrilling as he responded with an urgency that was a promise.
A flash of light from a car coming in the other direction recalled them to their surroundings, and the presence of the chauffeur.
‘We’ll be home soon,’ Gustavo said in a slightly strained voice.
‘Yes,’ she murmured, settling herself in the crook of his arm, her head against his shoulder.
