by Cathryn Fox
“Where’s Brax,” Richard asks, his brow furrowed. “Is everything okay?”
“He was up late securing the boat. I thought he could use a little extra sleep this morning.”
I catch Val’s eye and she grins at me. Ignoring her all-knowing look, I take a seat and Jason slides in beside me. I angle my head, look him over. He might be tall, well built, features similar to Brax, but when it comes right down to it, no man can hold a candle to the guy I’m in love with. How could I ever have thought I could be with Jason when my heart has always belonged to Brax?
“We have to pair up later for some games,” Jason says. “Want to be my partner?”
I hesitate for a second. Yes, I came here with the intention of gaining his attention, but so much has changed, and I don’t want him to get the wrong idea.
“That sounds like a great idea,” Richard says. “I think you two will work well together.”
I nod. “Oh, okay then.”
“Mason has some fun things lined up for us this afternoon,” Richard goes on to explain. “You can all have the morning to yourself. Go for a sail, a swim, a walk. Whatever you like.”
As the morning sun beats down on me, I know where I want to spend my time—lounging at the pool. I flip my cup over when one of the servers brings the coffee, then I head to the buffet and fill my plate, piling it higher than normal, knowing I’ll be working the calories off later. I can’t seem to keep the smile from my face as I sit back down and dig into my meal. Everyone returns with their food and we all talk quietly over breakfast. As time slips by, I glance up at my bedroom window, missing Braxton’s company. Soon the meal is finished and the dishes are cleared. Everyone breaks off to do their own thing and Val and I walk to the pool.
“Have you talked to him?” she asks, getting straight to the point now that we’re alone.
“We…ah…haven’t really had a chance.” I grin at my friend. “I’m hoping to do it this morning.”
She shakes her head and laughs. “You must have done a number on him for him to still be in bed.”
“Let’s just say, I can never look at Richard’s kitchen counter the same way again.”
“Ohmigod, you’re kidding me?”
Heat moves into my cheeks. “Nope.”
I peel off my bathing suit cover-up, and take a seat in one of the lounge chairs near the deep end of the pool. Val sits beside me. “What about Jason? He’s all over you this weekend. I guess your plan worked.”
“I know, and that was the whole point of this weekend. But there is nothing between us.”
“I’m not sure he knows that.” She gestures with nod, and I follow her gaze to see Jason walking toward us.
“Mind if I join you?”
I shade the sun from my eyes. “Sure,” I say and wave to the chair beside me.
He drops into the cushioned lounger and stretches out beside me. “What time do you think, Brax will be up?” he asks.
“I’m not sure.”
He frowns, clearly disappointed. He might be noticing me, but I think it’s because he wants to get in good with Braxton. I dig into my bag, and pull out my lotion. I pour a generous amount on my legs and rub it in. Then I do my chest, face and arms.
“Mind if I use some of that?” Jason asks.
“Not at all.” I hand it to him, then stand to adjust my chair, wanting to get some sun on my back. I lie on my stomach, and exhale a contented sigh and the sun warms my body.
When Jason finishes with the lotion, I say, “Val, can you do my back.”
“I got it,” Jason says and shifts his lounge chair until it’s closer to mine. “So maybe you can talk to Braxton about me,” Jason says.
“About what?” I ask.
“My work. You know, build me up.”
I should be disappointed that he’s trying to use me to get to Braxton, but I can’t say as I am. A big cold blop of lotion hits my back, and when he puts his hands on me, I stiffen. Truthfully, the only hands I want on my body are Brax’s.
“Eliza.”
Speaking of Brax…
Unease trickles down my spine at the coldness in Brax’s tone. I flip over, to find him staring at me. His face is hard, his jaw clenched, rage emanating from every pore in his body.
“Brax. I didn’t know you were up,” I say as I take a second to see the scene before him through his eyes.
“That’s obvious.” He casts a frigid glare at Jason, then he rakes his hands through his hair. Just then Alex, Tamara, Richard and Michelle head our way, but they go still when they see Brax standing over me like a warrior ready for battle.
“Is everything okay?” I ask tentatively.
“No. It’s not. I’m going to take off. Can you find your own ride back?”
My stomach lurches, and despite the heat of the day, goosebumps break out on my skin. I shiver, almost violently as every instinct I possess warns me that Brax is done with this game—with me.
“What’s…what’s going on?”
“I have some work to do.”
I fold my arms across my chest, holding back the emotions that are threating to consume me. “You do?”
“Yes, I do.” I flinch at the hardness in his tone, and the backyard goes deathly quiet.
“It can’t wait?” I whisper, my throat tight, hot and achy, my pulse thrumming wildly.
He shoves an anxious hand through his hair again. “No, Eliza, it can’t wait. And I’m tired of having this conversation with you. Work comes first. It always will. I thought you knew that.”
Jason’s lounge chair scrapes the stone decking around the pool, cutting through the tension as he inches away from me. Brax casts him a murderous glance, then his artic eyes are back on me again. I wince, the sting of his gaze like a thousand angry hornets.
“I…I didn’t realize I was always on your case about work,” I say, my heart sinking as I play along. Here I thought Brax was falling for me, thought he wouldn’t go through with this pretend breakup, yet here he is playing a part—and breaking my heart all over again.
“Look. I’m going to go.” I recoil like I’d just been slapped in the face. “It’s best if you get a ride home with someone else.” He stares at me for an endless moment, stripping me bare with eyes that had gone glacial overnight. Every muscle in his body is taut, strained, and I clasp my hands, afraid he’ll snap if I touch him. I curl in upon myself as he directs that dark, menacing mood my way.
I blink once, twice, and nod my head as his words sink in. This was all a ruse. Brax hadn’t had growing feelings for me. Why had I let myself believe otherwise?
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
I fight back the tears that are far too close to the surface. “I’ll see you around then,” I say, hating how real this is for me, taking me back to our youth, when his rejection had ripped through me like a serrated blade.
“I’ll grab my stuff and get out of your…way,” he says, but what he’s really saying is he’ll get out of my life. I should do something. Say something. Tell him I love him. But if he loved me back, why would he do this?
He gives Jason one last hard stare. The chill in his eyes freezes my bones as his gaze moves back to me.
“Goodbye,” he mutters.
Saliva dries in my throat as he turns, offering me his back as he disappears into the house, and out of my life. I sit there, all eyes on me. The urge to run, hide tug at me, and I’m about to make a move, when Val’s hand on my arm stops me.
“Eliza,” she says. “What the hell is going on?”
I try to speak, but the knot it my throat won’t let the words pass. Without saying anything, Jason climbs from his chair and dives into the pool. I guess I’m no use to him anymore. Cold water splashes up, wets my legs.
I glance at Richard and the others. “Eliza?” Richard asks, concern evident on his face.
I inject a lightness into my voice that I don’t feel. “I’ll be okay.”
Richard nods, and guides Alex and the others toward the beach, giving me t
he privacy I most desperately need.
A gurgling sound catches in my throat as I throw my legs over the side of my chair and brace my elbows on my legs. Tears sting my eyes and I try to breathe past the tightness in my chest.
“Eliza, honey,” Val says and sits beside me. She puts her arm around me and hugs. “You need to go after him. Talk to him.”
“This whole weekend was a mistake. I never should have asked Braxton to do this.”
“It wasn’t a mistake,” Val says, but she’s wrong. She’s so very wrong. I set myself up for heartache again, read more into things between us. I can’t blame Brax. Not really. He was only doing what I asked of him, he’d just done it sooner rather than later—ending the stupid fairy tale I’d singlehandedly fabricated.
Acid fills my throat as my chest aches, right around the vicinity of my heart. “I kept checking in with him, giving him a way out of the ruse, hoping there really was more between us than sex, but he never took it, and insisted he see this through to the end. Why didn’t I see that? Why did I believe there was more than sex between us.”
“I don’t care what you say, Eliza, that man is into you.”
I shake my head and sniff, then go still when I hear his car door slam, harder than necessary—all for show I suppose. “Then why is he leaving? Why did he cause a big scene in front of everyone, and walk out of here like that?” When I really think about it, it’s so not like Brax to cause a scene. Yeah, I was going to stage a breakup, but not one like this, one where Brax came out looking badly. He’s a powerful businessman who cares how other see him. How he acts, what he says can reflect positively or negatively on his image, his business. So why did he do this?
“Maybe he did it because he’s giving you what he thinks you want.”
As my brain races, I ask, “What do you mean?”
“Come on,” she begins, rushing on. “You brought him here to help you get the attention of another man, right? Say he’s actually in love with you, wouldn’t a guy who was in love want to give you everything you wanted despite what it would do to him?”
“Val—”
“Look, Eliza. He came out here and saw Jason’s hands all over you. He was enraged. No way was he faking that kind of anger, and I’m guessing he bowed out early because he couldn’t handle helping you for one more second. Did you see the way he looked at Jason?” She gives a low whistle. “I though he was going to kill him. That my friend, is jealousy. And where there’s jealousy…there’s love.”
“You think?”
“Yeah, I think. And one way or the other you have to find out where you guys stand, or you’ll spend the rest of your life regretting it.”
“What if you’re wrong? What if he rejects me like he did when we were teens?”
“What if he doesn’t?” she says, her voice softer, as she puts her hand on mine.
As I take a moment to digest that, my heart lurches. I suck in two deep breaths and with renewed focus, I look at my friend through watery eyes. “Can I borrow your car?”
8
Braxton
I gesture the bartender for another drink, hoping the whiskey will fill that hollowed-out spot inside me. Jesus Christ, I hated leaving Eliza, but what the fuck was I supposed to do? I promised her I’d see this ruse through to the end, but after giving her every part of me last night, and waking up to see Jason with his hands on her as she sprawled out on her lounge chair beneath him…Christ, I was ready to fucking murder him. But that’s when reality hit me. Jason is the guy she wants. The whole reason for me being there in the first place. Fuck man, I never should have agreed to sex with no condom. I needed something, anything to protect me from giving all of myself to her. How does a guy come back from something like that?
The truth is, I might not be the best guy for her, but I’m not sure it’s Jason either. In fact I know he’s not. But fuck, if that’s the guy she wants, how can I possibly stand in her way? I love her, for fuck’s sake, always have, and I’m not going to be a selfish prick for one more second. No matter how much turning my back and walking away had gutted me, her happiness comes first and foremost.
“Why aren’t you answering my texts?”
Great. Just fucking great. Derek is just about the last person I want to see today. He returned from overseas last night, and I’ve been ignoring him. For good reason. One look at my face, and he’s going call me out on my shit. How can I tell him about Eliza and me? How can I not?
He plunks down beside me at our favorite Irish pub, and gestures the bartender for two more of what I’m having. Then he turns to me, those astute brown eyes assessing me.
“What the fuck is going on with you?” he asks
Jesus, I wish he couldn’t read me so well.
“Nothing,” I say and finish the whiskey in my glass.
“Don’t fucking ‘nothing’ me,” he says. “It’s two o’clock in the afternoon, and you’re drinking.”
I shrug. “So are you.”
“When my best friend drinks at two, I drink at two. Now tell me what the fuck is going on so I at least know why we’re drinking.”
I exhale a slow sigh, and brush the backs of my fingers over my face, a stalling tactic. Another beat of silence, and then, “For starters, I’m a shit friend, Derek.”
I twirl my glass, and slowly angle my head until I see the confusion on my friend’s face. Derek is the best guy I know, and he doesn’t deserve to be hurt by me like this. My fingers curl, as the hate I feel for myself takes up residence in my gut.
He stiffens. “What did you do?”
I can’t lose my best friend. I can’t. He and his family are everything to me, but I can’t keep this from him, either. The guilt will eat me up inside and he deserves to know what an asshole I really am. Here I used to pride myself on keeping my word. Now my word means nothing. I take a breath, let it out slowly and start at the beginning.
“Eliza stopped by my office Friday night and—”
“Is she okay?” he asks cutting me off as he sits up a little straighter, his gaze zinging from me to the door, and back to me like he’s ready to bolt. He was always protective of his kid sister. We both were. Still are.
I grunt to let him know what I’m about to tell him is all kinds of insane. “She had her annual retreat at her boss’s place, and asked me to pretend to be her boyfriend so she could get the attention of some douchebag she works with.”
He shakes his head, incredulous. “What the fuck?”
I scoff. “Yeah, my thoughts exactly.”
“Tell me you didn’t do it.”
The bartender slides us each two fresh shots of whiskey, and Derek shoots one back quickly. Yeah, he really should have a few fast ones before I tell him I ravished his sister.
“Oh, I did it. I did a lot of things.” I cast him a quick glance and look away. Fucking coward.
“What things?”
I toss another drink back, and plant my elbows on the bar top. “I crossed a line while pretending to be her boyfriend.” One second passes, then two, but they feel like an eternity as I wait for him to say something.
“You slept with Eliza,” he announces.
The guilt on my face must have been a dead giveaway. I swallow. Hard. The sound cuts the tense silence between us. “Yeah. I’m sorry. I know you warned me against her and—”
He takes a drink, and slams his glass down on the bar top. “Yeah, when you were nineteen and she was sixteen. Things have changed since then.”
“And I didn’t mean—” I jerk around to find my friend grinning at me. “Wait, what?” I ask as his words sink in.
“I didn’t want you fucking around with my sister when we were teens, asshole. But we’re not teens anymore.”
“I…what?” I ask again, my rattled brain unable to keep up. I fight to make sense of his words.
“Look, you’ve been in love with her since the first time you set eyes on her. You two weren’t ready for each other then, which is why I told you to stay the fuck away. I kn
ew eventually you’d find each other, when you were both more mature and the timing was right.”
I shake my head, and count the empty glasses in from of me. “I must have had more to drink than I thought.”
He puts his hand on my shoulder. “You’re not hearing me wrong, pal.”
I tense, still not sure he’s just fucking with me before he throws a punch. “You’re not going to knock my teeth out for sleeping with Eliza.”
“No.” He raises a questioning brow. “But I am wondering what you’re doing here, tossing back whiskey and sulking like a kicked puppy.”
“I love her,” I say and stare at my drink.
He laughs, and I lift my eyes to his. “Yeah, no fucking kidding, Brax.”
I shake my head. “You knew all this time.”
“All this time. You’re really not that great of an actor.” He laughs. Not sure why Eliza thought you could play a role.” At the mention of Eliza he glances around the bar. “So where is my sister?”
“At her boss’s retreat, with her douchebag.”
“Why are you here?”
“I’m not the guy she wants.”
He grunts. “I doubt that. She’s been in love with you from the second she laid eyes on you too, pal.”
My heart misses a beat as a surge of hope and excitement rushing through me. “You think so?”
“I know so.”
Unease coils through me, pushing back that burst of happiness as I face my friend. “What if I’m not the right guy for her, Derek? What if I’m not the best guy for her, you know? I grew up in a loveless household. What if I can’t do right by her?”
“Brax, you’re the best guy I know, and the only guy I’d ever let near my sister.” He taps my chest. “I’ve never met a guy who cared more about people—more about my sister and me—than you.”
I put my arm around my best friend’s shoulders, and give him a hug. “I fucked up,” I say when we break apart. “I totally fucked it all up.”
He gives an easy shrug. “Then go make this right.”
I stare into my empty whiskey glass like it has all the answers in the universe. “What if it’s too late?”
