That no matter what happened, she still longed for him?
Carlo was humbled as well as disgusted with himself. He was no good as a wolf when he had broken the one covenant they all held in the sanctity of mates: they were to always remain safe.
But he had not done that. He had failed her.
Not in this life.
No. This time around, he would protect her due to all the things he hadn't done in the past. He would pay attention. He’d accepted being the King of History sooner than he had in those dreams, but he couldn't risk it meant he’d changed.
He couldn't risk her.
No matter how much he wanted to be the man of her dreams and stay at her side, he would make sure she remained safe.
With this new control over his power, he would be aware of threats and return to Encantado when he was needed. And now that he had accepted the Chaos, he could teleport on his own, without the help of Nanshe.
He was her equal in every way, but finding out he was her equal had actually destroyed them.
“I'm so sorry,” he whispered into her ear.
She would not be awake, of course, and wouldn't hear him, but he hoped sometime down the line, she would understand this sacrifice. She knew the path, like he did, and understood they could not tell anyone else. They would never be able to share what they knew.
This time, he was sacrificing for her in the way she had sacrificed for him.
In that moment, Carlo realized how important Nanshe was and how much he regretted every second his fear had denied him a connection with his mate. Every moment he fought against what she’d said had wasted countless hours not being together.
He should have claimed her the moment they were in the Chaos so they could have explored their relationship more. There could have been some foundation, and she could have had at least one more moment than he could give her now.
Or maybe had he given in to his need and loved her as she deserved.
He traced her fingers with his. There would never be another woman in all the timelines of his existence who would matter more than Nanshe. From now on, in any life they shared, he would be honest and could finally promise her what he’d never been able to promise before.
I will always belong to you, Nanshe. No matter your name, no matter the face. Your soul will always be connected to me, this I swear to the Chaos itself. Or it may take me away. But for now, I'm finally going to protect you.
Nanshe frowned in her sleep but didn't awake, and he was happy for that.
If she knew what he planned to do, she would argue with him. She would fight. And he would have no choice in it. So Carlo did what he had to do and let his mate sleep.
He carefully got out of bed and quietly snuck out of the room. On silent feet, he slipped out of the house, not wanting to wake up anyone and let them see where he was going.
Carlo didn't think he had enough control over the Chaos to portal directly out of the house, and he was sure that doing something so close to Nanshe would warn her. Instead, he would leave and get far away before he decided to attempt using a portal.
He stopped outside, memorizing everything around him. By leaving her, he was also leaving his pack. He knew he couldn’t tell Arturo anything, or the Alpha would try to stop him. But wolves understood when it came to their mates, so he wouldn’t be ostracized. He figured he could write a simple note.
He snuck back inside and found his way to Arturo's office where he rummaged around for a piece of paper and a pen.
I promise you, cousin, I will be back when you need me. But for now, I must protect my mate. Do not let her try to follow me. Trust me. This is better for all of us. She will understand.
Signing his name, he left it on the desk, trailing his fingers across the wood. How he would miss Moretti Pack lands. Hell, he would even miss having his balls punched and stomped on by Isadora.
But this would be safer for them all. Even if it broke his fucking heart.
He passed back through the house and out the front doors. Each of the packs had vehicles they could use, but he didn’t want to cause them to have to search. Also, they had tracking devices in them. He’d installed those fucking tracking devices himself, and they’d be able to find him quickly.
Carlo relied on his wolf, reaching for the now Chaos-infused animal inside him. He pulled on the power. It rolled over him, much different from before. Instead of being on four legs, he was on two, his body looking more like the werewolves that belonged in human paranormal fiction.
Fuck me.
He could tell the difference too. The strength, the power. Even now, he was more human than wolf, still able to logically control his actions. The use of the eyesight and his sense of smell. There was much more of a symbiotic relationship between him and the wolf in this state. They were as one instead of the human taking a backseat as the wolf took over.
Carlo refrained from howling at the joyous coming together, for this moment was not one he could celebrate, even feeling this new power. He raced away in one leap, taking him much farther than five at a full gallop as the wolf.
This was him as a Chaos holder, as a King of History. He was much more powerful, faster, harder, sharper—just like Nanshe had told him he would be.
Just the thought of her name made his knees go weak and made him want to go back to her, but he hardened himself against it and kept running. This was for her, like he should have done so many other times.
He would not see his fist piercing her chest, gripping her heart on the other side before he let her fall away. He would never do that. He would always protect her.
Carlo ran harder, streaking through a broken Encantado and not stopping. When he reached the opposite edge of Scorched Earth, it was much quieter. There would be no one seeking asylum or wanting to get through one of the portals. He was safe from any prying eyes. He was far enough away from pack lands that he should be able to call the Chaos and attempt to move through it without running the risk of anyone being aware of portal magic.
Like he had called his wolf, he called the Chaos magic to him, pulling on it and requesting that it give him a portal to a place that was safer and far away. He had a location in mind. He hadn't been there in many years, but he did remember that, for a time, it had been home.
The portal opened up, no longer a swirling mass of fear and terror.
He was the King of History, a holder of Chaos. and now the portal before him was filled with gold and silver swirls, like the Chaos had looked when it was wrapped around his wolf.
After a moment of marveling at the changes his body had already created, he streamed through the portal and was gone from Encantado.
Chapter Nineteen
Nanshe awakened slowly, stretching her arms above her head in happiness and relaxation. Finally, she and Carlo had come together, and not a moment too soon. Of course, she would have hoped for their official first time after meeting to not be something that had to be done, but it had worked for them, nonetheless. And she could be happy for her body aching in such a pleasant way.
She knew she would still hold the essence of his touch for days.
He was powerful and strong within her, and she loved every minute of being with him. Something was different in the way they had come together during the marking, as if he had recognized more between them once he had opened himself to the Chaos.
She trembled, a moment of worry seeping through her thoughts. She just hoped he didn't see more. It was one of the dangers of him having access to the past, like he was seeing more than he should and wasn't prepared to understand. She wasn’t able to explain it to him, but she didn't imagine he would be likely to investigate too far into the beginning of his powers. Well, at least she hoped he didn't. For now, though, she would just be happy they had shared the moment with each other.
Stretching again, she reached for his side of the bed, eager to start their day with another bout of what he’d already showed her, but all she felt was coolness beside her.
What?
She snapped up, her eyes scanning the room. Where was he? Shrugging off unease and hoping he wasn't as far away as it seemed—maybe he was just taking a shower—she got out of bed to stretch, elongating her spine and moaning in pleasure as it clicked into place. Yes, she would have much rather woken up doing something delicious with her mate. But just remembering the action was enough to sustain her for now.
She called as she always did, using her magic and the past to restore her dress onto her body instead of the shreds littering the floor from where she had torn it from herself, eager to get to Carlo and help him the night before. Now she would go in search of her mate. But the more she looked around the room, the more she began to stress.
Carlo was not in his bathroom, and the shower and sinks were bone-dry. It hadn't been touched in quite some time. He was nowhere to be found in his room. When she went into the hall, wolves raced back and forth, away from a bellowing Arturo.
“Find him, and you find him now!”
She went to Arturo’s side. “What has happened? What's going on?”
Arturo turned away from her, not answering her question. But she ran around and jumped in front of him. “Tell me, where is my mate?”
Arturo growled. “I am protecting you because I must, and you have done a great service to Encantado. But you insisted on coming here, and because you're here, my wolf has had to do what he felt necessary to protect you. You will not go after him. I will not allow you. But I will know he is safe, and that is all I can give you.”
Arturo spun on his heel, and Nanshe cried out in frustration before jumping in front of him again, standing to her full height. “You listen here, wolf. I have no doubt of your power and your strength. I know how strong you are. You forget I am the Past Norn and am well aware of your history, the loss of your family, the loss of the woman you loved and the child you could not save.”
Arturo balled his fists and bared his sharp canines. “It's best for you to be quiet now unless you're going to show me exactly who killed the people who meant everything to me.”
“They did,” she said, “and because of what happened to them, you have become the man you are today and the ruler of the pack you own. Some things in history are unnecessary, much like what I am now certain my mate saw. But he does not understand history has to happen the way that it has. There is a possibility of making things have a different outcome. So you're going to help me find him because he is out there alone and there's danger.”
“I don't have to help you do anything unless you're going to give me something in return. You forget, I am a Born wolf and a Made Man. I am not simply some man you can order around and expect me to listen to everything you say. I have wolves and mages in my stead that I have to protect. I recognize the essence of a mate and how important as it is, and I am sure my wolf did not explain to you exactly who I am, but I’m fucking deadly and known to be so for a reason. If I am kind, it is because it is within my good-fucking-will. Nothing more. You would do better to remember.”
Nanshe screamed. “I refuse to pay any mind to how strong you think you are. I want to know my mate is safe, and he is not. I know what he must have seen.”
“Well, if you know what he's seen, you know where he's gone and you know why. Leave him be. If any wolf decides to leave their mate behind, they believe it is better for them to do so. I must trust that wolf. Our mates always come first. For him to make such a sacrifice and leave his pack in order to do so is no small thing. It means something, Nanshe.”
“He doesn't know what is happening, Arturo.” Nanshe sighed. “Please. I have to help him.”
“What is it you think he has seen?”
Nanshe swallowed. Even the idea of telling Arturo made pain streak through her. Damn these godsforsaken rules.
“I see the telling silence, which means it's important and you can't say what it is. Well, here’s the deal. I am an Alpha, and my job is to protect my people. If you can't tell me why, and there's no one here to help, I must do this the way I have always done it. Stay here where you're safe. I can promise that when I find him, I will let you know he is okay.”
“That is not good enough, Alpha.”
“Well, it is what you will take. I am Alpha here, not you.”
Nanshe bowed her head in feigned acquiescence, finished with the Alpha and his pissing contest. She knew there was no way she would get the wolf to hear her, no matter what she said. Right now, all she could hope to do was maybe try to find him herself.
She stalked out of Arturo’s home. Outside, the fresh air and open space would feel better on her while she worked to scan the histories.
Yes, she knew that being with him could lead to her death. It had many times in the past. But what he didn't understand, and what he probably didn't stay within the vision long enough to see, was that her death was attached to things he had already changed by accepting her instead of turning her away.
He had potentially changed that outcome. Or at least that was what she hoped for. She would not believe a Norn would be created to be a mate only to be ripped apart. Norns could not die. Not entirely. They would always be reborn into a different body, a different time, or even reincarnated. Yes, they could lose this particular life and forget memories and have to start again, but once a Norn, always a Norn.
That’s how things had always been. As long as that rule hadn’t changed, it would continue that way. But she was determined to fight against time itself. Her happiness and the happiness of her mate were worth it.
The cool air kissed her skin, lifting her hair away from her shoulders. She could still smell the remnants of fire from where the dragon had ripped through the land. The people here were strong, and they were slowly rebuilding. And when Skuld came again, she would be met with resistance. These people would not let her simply tear their apart home and not deliver an answering blow.
It was something Skuld was not accustomed to. She always got her way and never had anyone to challenge her as fully as the wolves had. Nanshe felt a sense of pride because she knew her mate was one of those wolves fighting against her sister. He would not allow Skuld to take away his home without fighting tooth and nail first.
The ground beneath her feet rumbled as she scanned through history, looking for Carlo, looking for any trace of him and what changes he might have made to history. The ground rumbled harder, shaking her off her balance until she slammed to the earth. When she hit the ground, her eyes snapped open.
That was not history. Above her, a portal opened just inches away and Skuld peered through it.
“Got you.”
Carlo sprang out of his sleep, coughing and dispelling the vision that had clouded his mind. What the hell was that? Had he viewed history again? But it seemed he had just left.
What was happening?
He looked around himself, trying to get a sense of where he had passed out after going through his portal. He was lying in the middle of scorched land that was twisted and gnarled beyond recognition.
This was not home.
He'd intended to be teleported to New York City, one of the older locations for paranormals where the vampires resided. Even though that was their domain, he still had family property there from when he was human way back in the 50s. But this was not New York. The dragon had never touched the city or destroyed anything there.
Where am I?
He stood, trying to get his bearings, until he heard his name being called and he spun around. Torin was racing toward him.
“What the fuck are you doing in Scorched Earth?”
I'm still in Encantado.
Torin frowned at Carlo as he came to a stop in front of him. “I figured if you were here, something was wrong.”
Nanshe. Carlo screamed. “Get somebody on the horn and get them to Arturo's property.”
“What is going on?”
“I can't explain it right now, but I know Nanshe is under attack. And if she's under attack, someone has come back to Encantado.”
<
br /> Torin nodded. “Why don't you come with me and I can get you there.”
“No need. Obviously, if this is home, I know exactly how to get back to her.”
Torin’s face was covered in confusion, but he raced away from Carlo anyway. Carlo once more called upon the energy of the Chaos and grabbed a portal. This time, he had Arturo's house firmly planted inside his head.
“Take me to the Moretti Pack,” he whispered and walked through the portal.
When he came through the other side, no one was running around. There were no portals. In fact, it was quiet.
What the hell is going on?
He looked around him, trying to figure it out, when Ciro came out of the house to greet him.
“What are you doing outside? I didn't see you pass me.”
He frowned at the Scenter wolf. “I left last night.”
“What are you talking about? You just came in from the arena not that long ago.”
Okaaaaay.
Ciro’s frown deepened, but he moved away and headed back to his post.
No, Carlo hadn’t just come back from the arena. He remembered going to bed with Nanshe and waking up in the middle of the night to leave. It was daylight, but he could not have gone back in time, could he?
He was interacting with people, so that shouldn't have been possible. Where had the Chaos taken him?
“Carlo!”
Nanshe’s scream in his head startled him, made his blood run cold, and he spun around looking for her. What the hell?
He gripped on to the energy of her and jumped through the portal he’s opened in front of him. When he exited the portal, he saw Skuld reaching through her portal and gripping Nanshe by the head.
Carlo thundered forward to grab her, but he was too late. Nanshe was gone, screaming his name and reaching for him. Even Skuld’s triumphant grin taunted him when the portal snapped closed.
Mated to the Chaos (Portal City Protectors Book 5) Page 15
