“It was while we were out. I don’t know if he went where no one could see him, or—”
He turned back to me. “What can I do? I don’t know if we have anything to give him here.”
“I thought about... The way you touched me. You said you could put thoughts, feelings in my head.”
“That’s not exactly how it works. It’s more like distracting the mind.”
“But it made me feel—”
“You want me to try it on him?”
I studied my feet, knowing it was a complete reversal of what I’d said before. “I just thought it might help.”
“It might, but you were so upset when I did it to you.”
“I know, but this is different. He’s been getting worse and worse, and now he won’t even look at me.”
I watched him pull open a drawer and quickly change his shirt. “It’s probably being aggravated by the meds.”
“What meds?”
“Ovett’s idea. He called it an insurance policy in case any of the larger males gave us trouble.”
He held out a hand for me to go with him, but I didn’t move from where I sat on his bed. That old sense of betrayal nudged me.
“What does that mean? What kind of drugs?”
“Nothing dangerous.” He crossed back to me. “Come on. I thought you wanted me to help your brother.”
“Just hang on a minute. Have you been drugging all of us?”
“Well, not me specifically.” He tried to reach for me, but I pulled away. “You’re angry again? It was just a mild sedative to prevent anxiety and panic. When I learned of it, I actually thought it was more humane.”
“That’s why I felt so heavy and tired some days.”
“To be honest, I couldn’t tell it was affecting you at all. Another of your strengths.”
“I don’t like this. I don’t like knowing you would do something like that to me.”
His shoulders dropped, and he held out his hands. “It was already happening when I got here.”
“But you could’ve told me.”
“It never occurred to me. Cato and Ovett have been scrambling since Day 3. He said your people do it with your elderly routinely, and he assured us no one would be hurt. It seemed like a harmless security measure.”
Glancing around the room, I didn’t have a good answer. Part of me wanted to understand, but the part of me that had been being drugged without my knowledge was really mad.
“Come on,” I said. “We don’t have time now. Will you help my brother?”
“Of course. I’ll do anything you need.”
* * *
Everyone was still in the dining hall when we entered the dorm. Braxton was on his bed, and it looked like he hadn’t moved. We quickly made our way past the rows of metal bunks to the back corner, and I dropped to my knees beside his head.
“Braxton?” I whispered. He didn’t move, so I nodded to Gallatin. “Just do whatever you do now while he’s sleeping. Maybe he can have a happy dream and wake up feeling hopeful.”
“Is that the feeling you want? Hope?”
I looked at the amber eyes of my, what? Enemy? Friend? Something else I couldn’t name?
“Give him hope, Gallatin.”
He nodded and slipped his left palm against the side of my brother’s neck. I expected a light or a noise or a vibration. I expected Gallatin to close his eyes or glow. But nothing seemed to happen. It was quiet, and he simply blinked a few times as he touched Braxton’s skin. He didn’t even touch him for very long, it seemed, before he looked back at me.
“Let me know how he is in the morning. I can do it again if he needs more.”
“More?”
“Our races are very similar, but this is one of our adaptations, and human hormones and brain functions are different.”
“How are they different?”
He shrugged as he stood. “We’ve been to four planets I can remember, and on each, there are so many variables creating differences. Location in the galaxy, air composition, gravity... I honestly didn’t keep track.”
I looked at Braxton’s face, and he did seem more peaceful. Then I noticed Gallatin going back to the entrance of our sleeping quarters.
“Wait,” I called.
“Come outside. Your people will be returning now, and I’m not supposed to be here.”
“Thank you.” I reached out to touch his arm. “This means a lot to me. Even if... I’m still trying to understand. Some of it still makes me angry.”
“If you could just try to see it from our side.”
“I can’t. Not yet,” I shook my head. “But thank you for helping my brother.”
He took my hand and held it in both of his. “If there’s anything I can do for you, please let me know.”
With that he released me, and I watched him cross the yard. He was just reaching the grove as everyone began returning from dinner. Roxie came straight to me and took my hand. Yolanda was right behind her, catching me in a hug.
“I’m so sorry, Pren,” Roxie said.
Yolanda quickly followed up. “All I could do when D’Lo brought him in was cry and wonder what you were going to do, how you were going to take it. We’ve got to get out of here. The pressure’s wearing us all down.”
“I think he’ll be okay now,” I said. “We can check on him in the morning.”
Then I looked around quickly. “Where’s Flora?”
“I’ve been looking out for her,” Yolanda said. “I saw what you were doing with your meat. I didn’t know she was anemic, so I helped her when you were gone.”
“Thanks.” I scanned the room until I spotted her leaning against the back wall.
Her back was to me, and her arm was wrapped around her stomach like she was having cramps.
“Flora?” I called softly, weaving through the rows of bunks until I was in front of her. “Are you okay?”
She nodded, but her face was pale and perspiration beaded on her top lip. “I think I’m getting my period.”
I took her arm and led her to her bunk. “Are you having cramps?”
She nodded again. “I’m so tired.” Her voice was barely above a whisper, and the whiteness of her skin frightened me.
“I’ll ask if we can get something for you. Let me help.” Unzipping her coveralls, I helped her into bed. “Try and sleep. I’ll check on you when I get back.”
She nodded, but her eyes were already closed by the time I tucked the sheet around her. I probably could’ve skipped the evening milk shift. It felt pointless now to even continue the charade, but I went. I wanted to see him again, to thank him again, and to tell him I was trying to see his side. Even if it wouldn’t matter in the immediate future.
The barn was empty when I arrived, but the cows were lowing, and I knew their bodies were in need of relief. We’d have to start lengthening the time between milking to get them back on a regular schedule, and I couldn’t help thinking of Dr. Green’s words about stopping abruptly and milk fever.
“Easy, girls,” I whispered as I scanned the large room. Finally I approached the door leading to the narrow stall that held Bully, but Gallatin wasn’t there either.
The sight of our little calf magnified my sense of loss, what my forgetting would bring. New tears stung my eyes, and I ran out the side door we’d taken the night before, and for the second time that night, I jogged down the hill in the direction of his cabin. But when I got there, I skidded to a stop outside his window. Cato was in the room, and I could just make out her voice, low and urgent.
“I don’t know what happened,” she said. “I can’t get any reports, everything has been cut off. I’m afraid to give the order to move until we’ve reestablished some link to the other Guard.”
“It came by itself? There was no message? No explanation?” Gallatin’s voice was tense.
“The messenger was attacked getting it to us. Ovett said there’s a renegade band of humans roaming the woods.”
I peeked in and saw Cato pacing t
he small room. Her arms were crossed and her elegant face was lined with worry. Gallatin sat on his bed staring at something in his hand, and he looked devastated.
“The pendant is yours now,” she said. “You must take your grandfather’s place in the order.”
“I’m not ready. I’ve had no training.” His voice cracked, and I heard his sadness. But it was more than that. He put a hand over his eyes, and he seemed broken. I wanted to go to him.
“It’s been a difficult time for you, I know,” Cato finally sat on the bed beside her brother, but she only placed her hand on his shoulder. No embrace. “You’re so young, but you must take your place. It’s important to continue the traditions of our society.”
“Did he suffer?” His tone made my eyes burn.
Cato sighed. “Acona’s a monster, but he’s also very smart.” She stood and went to the door. “He must’ve worked some deception, or he could never have accessed your grandfather. But he wouldn’t have risked prolonging his death. Being caught.”
Gallatin’s face crumpled, and my hand flew to my mouth.
“You must grieve,” she said in a gentle voice. “But we’re still at war, Gallatin. And now we’re on high alert. He knows where we are. I’ve got to talk to Ovett about our next steps.”
I watched as she closed the door behind her, and her brother slipped from his bed to his knees. He put his face on his hands against the mattress, and tears were on my cheeks as I lifted the window and slipped through the opening where the screen had not been replaced. He didn’t hear me enter, and for a moment, I was hesitant to touch him. But when his shoulders broke, I moved to my knees and lightly caressed him. He sat up quickly and our eyes met. I almost couldn’t bear it.
“I’m sorry,” I said, but he leaned forward and wrapped his arms around me. I hugged him tightly, laying my cheek against his head.
Minutes passed as we stayed that way, holding each other as if it were the only thing in the world to do. After a bit longer he stood, not looking at me, and went to the small washroom at the back of the cabin. I heard the sound of water running and I watched as he leaned forward and splashed it on his face. Then he came back and handed me a damp rag.
“Thank you,” I said, standing and taking it from him.
I wiped my face and watched as he went to the bed and sat. His usual smile when we were together was gone, but I didn’t feel I should leave him.
“You weren’t at the barn. I was worried.”
“Did you need something?” His voice was thick, and when he looked up, his eyes were heavy.
“No!” I rushed to sit beside him and place my hand on his arm. “I just... I was thinking about what you said. About never seeing you again, about forgetting. I... I don’t know how I feel. I don’t understand what’s changed in me, but I don’t want to forget. I want to remember you. I want to remember us.”
As I said the words, fresh tears came to my eyes. I lifted my hand from his arm to his cheek, and he slowly leaned forward to kiss me. It was so hesitant at first, but as soon as we touched, our lips sealed then parted. A brief taste, a flood of bittersweet joy, and he pulled back, kissing my cheek, my closed eyes. He pulled me to his chest, and I held him with my eyes closed, the warmth I’d been fighting pulsing through my limbs with every heartbeat. His arms were strong around me as mine were around him, and in that moment, I was both so miserable and so happy.
“I’m sorry about your grandfather.” I whispered. He nodded against my head, and I smoothed his soft hair. “Does this mean you’re leaving sooner?”
He straightened to look at me. “It means I’m a Guard now. I’ll have to take his place in the circle.”
“Is it like a monastery or something? Like monks?”
He reached inside his shirt and pulled out a leather cord from which a round, metal pendant about the size of a quarter hung. It was like shiny, iridescent copper, and on its face were markings of fire, a tree, and a figure holding a spear. At the top was a large black pearl.
“That’s the sign of the warriors.” He pointed at the figure. “Three Guard from each nation.”
“Where do they go?”
“It’s not a place. It’s a telekinetic bond, what I told you about earlier. I communicate with them, and we make decisions. Maintain the order.”
“How do you maintain the order if your uncle’s trying to destroy it?”
“That’s the problem. For now we’re scattered, hiding until we can bring him and his army under control.” He looked at the pendant then slid his thumb over its shiny surface. “Or kill him.”
“Do you have to do something special? Like a coronation event or something?”
He blinked up and smiled at me. “Back when our world was peaceful, I wouldn’t have moved up until grandfather died. That wouldn’t be for another two or three hundred years.”
“Three hundred years!”
“Shh!” Gallatin placed his hand over my mouth.
We waited a few moments not moving before he lowered his hand again and then stood, going to the door and turning the lock.
“We live a bit longer than you,” he said.
“A bit.” My eyes were wide, trying to comprehend such a thing.
“But your race used to live that long. Longer. It’s recorded in your history.”
I took a breath. “I think Methuselah was a thousand or something when he died.”
“So that’s not strange to you.” He came back and sat beside me again.
“Are you kidding? Methuselah lived about five thousand years ago. Or more.” I poked his arm. “It’s very strange to me.”
“But otherwise, you’re okay with it? I mean, you’re not afraid of me anymore?”
“That touch thing is freaky.”
“Only the Guard can do those kinds of things. I guess that’s freaky to everyone. Even Cato.”
“Can I see your pendant?”
“Sure,” he slipped it off his neck. Then he slipped the cord around mine. “It’s easier to see this way. Tilt it in your hand and you can see all three warriors.”
I moved it side to side and the coppery iridescence changed like a hologram. The one warrior was joined by two others in what looked like a circle.
“Do you know the other two?”
“Not yet. I’ll learn them as we communicate.” His expression turned to concern. “How’s your brother?”
“Don’t know. He’s still sleeping.”
“That’s probably best.” He took a deep breath and leaned back against his pillow watching me. “I wish you could’ve met my grandfather. He was really good with people. Building bridges, finding common ground. He’d taken the lead in negotiating the truce.”
His familiar smile drifted to the corners of his mouth, but it was tinged with sadness. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around his waist, placing my head against his chest. I listened to his heartbeat, steady just like mine. His hand went into my hair and for a moment we were quiet.
“Thank you,” he said. “For this. Coming here. Staying.”
I sat up and looked into his eyes, but it wasn’t enough. I placed my hand on his chest and leaned forward. My eyes closed, and his mouth quickly found mine. I only meant for it to be a small kiss, but when we touched again, I couldn’t stop myself from moving to him. His arms slid around my waist, pulling me closer. Our lips parted and his tongue found mine. It was desperate and hungry, full of everything we didn’t want to lose. Mouth moved together, and in that moment, there was no invasion, no aliens, no war. Only the two of us bathed in the warmth of speckled sunlight through leaves as we lay on a blanket beside the creek. Or us in the silver shimmer of moonlight on the water as we danced.
I lowered my chin and rested my forehead on his cheek. I felt his lips touch my brow, and with my eyes closed, I reached up for one more, just one more brief taste. With a sigh, I stood and went to the window, stepping through without looking back. Once I was back into my world, I ran all the way to the dorm to sleep, pain twisting my hear
t.
Chapter 18
I forgot to check on Flora.
When I got back to the dorm that night everything was quiet and the only thing on my mind was his lips touching mine, his arms around my waist. Everything had changed, but I knew it would all change again. Soon.
I couldn’t stop my mind from going there as well. He would leave, and I would forget. My emotions wavered from relief that I wouldn’t remember what I’d lost to hatred that I’d forget him, us. I drifted to sleep trying to fit our two worlds together like puzzle pieces that looked similar but had mismatched edges.
Roxie was waving for me to come to her the next morning when I awoke. The breakfast tone had sounded, but Flora was motionless in her bed. I quickly stepped into my clothes and ran to the other side of the dorm as I pulled up the zipper, my stomach tight with fear.
“I can’t wake her,” Roxie whispered. “I don’t know what’s wrong.”
“It’s like she’s in a coma or something,” Yolanda said.
“Flora?” I shook her shoulder. Her body was warm, but she wasn’t waking up. “What happened?”
Roxie shrugged and Yolanda shook her head.
“She never got up again after you left last night.”
I remembered her complaining of cramps. Her face was pale and she hadn’t looked well.
“She thought it was PMS.” Panic gripped my shoulders.
I felt her head, but there was no fever. I pulled her eyelids apart, but her pupils remained dilated. She was nonresponsive.
“I’ll get help.” I ran to the screen doors. “Keep trying to wake her. See if you can get her to stand up, walk around. Get her some water.”
My heart beat out of my chest as I flew to the barn. The doors were unlocked and the tones had started, so I knew he was awake. But I didn’t know what he did in the morning or where he ate. Now that he was a Guard, he might have a different schedule. As I ran, I realized the pendant was still around my neck inside my coveralls. We’d forgotten in the heat of our kisses, but he needed it, I was sure.
No one was in the barn, and I ran to the narrow back stall. It was strangely empty except for Bully and the Jersey girl. A feeling of déjà vu crept over me as I ran through the side door again, down to his cabin. I scanned the area and saw a guard walking up the hill, but he didn’t notice me slipping around the corner to the little side window. When I got there, I dropped and caught my trembling breath. Gallatin wasn’t alone.
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