“But Andy didn’t make you look at me like you pity me.” She held his gaze with a serious stare.
“No, he didn’t, and I don’t look at you like I pity you, because I don’t pity you. Honestly, Bec, I think you’re skewing your perception to fit your need to control things.” He didn’t even realize he felt that way until that second. The pieces were falling into place—at least for him. He’d relinquished control of so many aspects of his life for Rebecca. He’d set aside the desire to do things for her, with her. Things he hadn’t wanted to do for any other woman—take her to Tahoe for the weekend. Hell, take her to Paris, for that matter. Take her shopping and lavish her with gifts she’d find over the top and he’d think weren’t enough to show how much she meant to him. But he didn’t mind giving up those things. They were just that, things. He realized that those visible effects of his love weren’t what mattered. What mattered was that when she looked into his eyes, she saw into his heart and felt the love he had for her. And now the one thing that meant the most was being blurred—and he wondered if it was driven by another fear he had yet to understand. She’d relinquished control of smaller things—letting him open doors—and big things, like talking about her most intimate feelings, revealing the things she’d gone through when caring for her mother. Now it was all coming to a head, as if revealing that she’d slept in the car had pushed her over the edge, and she was scrambling to regain the control she lost. Or, what had him even more worried was what if he was wrong, and it wasn’t as much about control itself? What if she needed to regain control so she didn’t lose her footing and accidentally reveal something even more intimate?
Something so frightening she had to see him as the bad guy.
“CONTROL THINGS? IS that what you think I’m doing?” She reacted viciously to his suggestion. “This isn’t about control.” She rooted around in her purse for her keys and turned away from Pierce. Control. My ass it’s about control. She waited for him to touch her shoulders, or her hips, the way he always did when she was upset.
He didn’t.
“Then tell me what it is, please. Because I don’t pity you. Jesus, Bec, how could I? You’re the smartest, most determined woman I know. There’s nothing pitiable about you. Hell, Rebecca, there’s nothing you can’t do.”
“I don’t know, okay?” Don’t cry. Oh God, don’t cry. Please don’t cry. She found her key and unlocked the door to her car.
She sensed him move in closer. His chest pressed against her back, his scent engulfed her, and his cheek—oh God, that clean-shaven cheek she loved to touch—pressed against hers.
“Then let’s figure it out together,” he whispered.
I can’t. I’m afraid. “H-how? You’re leaving, remember?”
“I’ll stay.”
She closed her eyes against the welling tears. She knew he meant it. He would stay, and she wanted him to stay more than she wanted anything else in the world, but then she’d throw his staying into the pity bin—because she was that fucked up at the moment.
“You can’t. You’ve got the Grand acquisition to solidify.”
He turned her around gently. “Rebecca.”
If love had a sound, it was in the way he’d said her name, and dear Lord, she heard it loud and clear.
He ran a hand down her cheek and traced the line of her jaw with his finger. “You are more important than any business deal. You’ve opened something inside of me that I didn’t even know existed. And last night I felt like I’d been cut open, and the very thing that made me feel whole for the first time in my life was gone.”
She splayed her hands against his chest. He felt so good, safe, real. Whole. He felt whole. Was it only because she was there with him? She pressed her cheek to his chest and listened to the sound of his breathing, and she knew in an instant that he was telling the truth. He wasn’t whole. It was a facade. Something for the rest of the world to see.
Only he didn’t hide behind that charade for her.
Why couldn’t she give him the same truth?
Because I don’t know what I’m afraid of.
“Don’t stay, Pierce.” She swiped at her damp eyes and drew her shoulders back. Crying would only make him stay. He needed her to be strong, or he would give up the very thing he’d been working on for months. “Go make your business deal happen. I have to go to my doctor appointment tomorrow, and I’ll be here waiting when you get back. Hopefully with a clearer head.”
“Rebecca, what is it? Am I too much? Do I come on too strong? Do I represent something you don’t like?”
He searched her eyes, and she knew he wouldn’t find the answer he was looking for. How could he when she didn’t even know it?
“No, Pierce. You represent everything I strive to be. Successful, strong, confident.”
“Maybe it’s all too fast for you, and you don’t realize it.” He ran his hand through his hair and turned away. “Is that it? You were pretty honest with me at the beginning. You said you weren’t looking for a relationship, and I plowed my way into your life.”
Her mother’s words sailed through her mind and clung to her like a badge of courage. She’d heard her mother say it only once, in the days before she died, and she finally understood them.
“Love doesn’t need an invitation, Pierce.”
His gaze softened, and when he lowered his forehead to hers, she felt her walls come crumbling down.
“I’m trying to understand,” he said quietly. “Is there something more you’re not telling me? Because it sure feels like there’s more, and I feel like it’s control, but if you say it’s not, then I trust you. But if this…us…if we’re not right for you, you need to tell me, because nothing has ever felt more right in my life.”
“We are right.” The determination in her voice startled her. “We are. I know that in my heart, Pierce. We are right as rain. But…” She drew in a deep breath and clung to him again. “I’m scared, okay? Petrified, really. But I can’t talk about any of it, because I don’t understand it. You just have to trust that I can figure this out—that I will figure this out.”
He took a step back, taking the air from her lungs along with him.
He shifted his eyes away. When he finally met her gaze, the emotion in his eyes cut straight to her core.
“I trust you, Rebecca.”
It was exactly what she’d asked for, and it hurt like hell.
Chapter Twenty-Four
PIERCE SAT IN the back of the sedan watching the traffic roll by as the driver made his way through the streets of Los Angeles toward Jake’s house. He couldn’t stop thinking about how he’d fucked up things with Rebecca. Why couldn’t he keep his goddamn mouth shut? He’d known he’d push her away, and still he’d pressed for answers.
He pulled out his cell phone and considered calling her. She might get even more upset. He gazed out the window, aching to clear the air with Rebecca. He owed her an apology, and the longer he delayed it, the more it bored a hole in his gut.
He pressed her speed-dial number.
“Hey there. How’s sunny California?”
Her sweet voice brought a smile to his lips. “Hi, babe. Just like sunny Reno only without my favorite person.”
“You get brownie points for that one.”
He heard the smile in her voice, and it eased the tension that had tightened the muscles across his shoulders. “I wanted to apologize, Bec. I’m really sorry for pushing you this afternoon.”
“It’s fine, really.”
“No, it’s not. My need for a resolution shouldn’t come before your need to figure things out on your own timetable. I’m sorry, Bec. I’ll try to be more respectful of your feelings.” Pierce didn’t care that the driver could hear every word he said. He only cared that he said them to Rebecca before it was too late.
“It’s okay. I know this is me, Pierce. It’s my issue, and it’s got to drive you batty. I know how crazy it is for me to tell you that I love you and then tell you that I still love you but need space.
It makes me feel a little crazy in my own head.”
“You’re not crazy. You’ve been through so much that it’s crazy you can function at all.” He realized how true those words were. Her mother died almost two months ago. Two months. Why didn’t he slow down and think about that when he was with her? I was too busy trying to fix everything.
“I can handle it, Pierce.”
There it was. Determination and misinterpretation wrapped up in one single sentence. How could he make her understand? He rubbed his temples.
“Babe, I didn’t mean that like it sounded. I meant that you are amazing.”
“Oh.”
“We’re doing a lot of miscommunicating lately.”
“I think that’s my fault,” she said. “I’ve been thinking about what you said, and maybe you’re right. Some of this has to do with control.”
“I don’t know if I’m right. I just know that I want to…” He stopped himself from saying, fix it. “I can’t wait to see you again.”
“Me too. Pierce, I’ll figure this all out. I know I will.” Her voice softened, and he pictured her fidgeting with a seam on her clothing, or gazing up at her mother’s picture, her eyes serious as she tried to work out whatever was going on in her mind.
He recognized the road that led up to Jake’s house and knew he had only a few minutes left to talk to Rebecca before seeing his brother. “Are you okay? Do you need anything?”
“Just to rewind time about a million years.”
He smiled at that and wondered when she’d go back to. Before they met? When her mother was still alive? Before she got sick? Or did she mean before she was even born so she could really start over?
“If I had the power, I’d do it for you. I love you, babe.”
“I love you, too. Hey, Pierce?”
“Yeah?”
She was quiet for a long time. Pierce listened to the cadence of her breathing, a sound he’d come to know when she’d fallen asleep in his arms and in the wee hours of the morning before she awoke.
“I know I can handle anything, but I’m glad you’re sticking with me through this.”
“You don’t have to handle anything alone ever again.”
“Says the man who can handle anything.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. I always thought that I could handle anything, but when you walked out the door last night, I realized how wrong I was.”
JAKE’S FIVE BEDROOM, Mediterranean-style home sat atop seven sprawling acres in the Hollywood Hills. Pierce was excited to see his brother, but as the driver pulled up in front of the house and parked behind one of Jake’s motorcycles, he got a funny feeling in his stomach. His and Jake’s good times had usually revolved around women, and he hadn’t taken that into account before nixing the idea of staying at one of his properties. Pierce stepped from the car and realized that he’d forgotten to call Jake and tell him he was coming. While the driver put his bags on the front porch, Pierce peered into Jake’s four-car garage. Every bay was occupied, and there was music coming from inside the house. At least his brother was home.
He thanked the driver, gave him a hundred-dollar tip, and then rapped on the door. When Jake didn’t answer, he let himself in. One thing he could always count on with Jake—if he was home, his door was open. Jake was thirty-four years old, but he lived like he was running a co-ed dormitory. A trail of wet footprints led from the marble foyer across the hardwood floors in the living room and out the French doors.
Pierce set his bags down and followed the footprints to the pool in the backyard. Through the years, he and Jake had had more good times than he could count—usually beginning with meeting Jake’s buddies for a beer, or hitting an after-party once filming wrapped for one of Jake’s projects, and ending with both of them wondering what the names of the women were who’d accompanied them the evening before. Now it turned Pierce’s stomach thinking of how many faceless women he’d made out with. Even after just a couple of weeks with Rebecca, he knew he’d never go back to that lifestyle—hell, he knew after a night with Rebecca that she was the only woman he wanted.
He heard Jake’s voice before he spotted him among the harem of bikini bodies standing by the covered bar at the opposite end of the pool. Jake’s hair was a shade lighter than Pierce’s and their other siblings, but he shared the same dark Braden eyes as the rest of them. He had a perpetual tan and a body built for his stuntman career: solid muscle and ready to take a beating, as proven by the multitude of razor-thin scars that etched their way into his torso, arms, and legs. He’d somehow avoided facial scars, except for one particular scar that rode the boundary of his hairline. That particular scar came from a wrestling match with Pierce when they were teens.
Three blond, buxom women turned as Pierce approached. He had to hand it to Jake. He’d always loved big-breasted women. The blondes had large breasts that were too perfectly perky and round to be natural, small waists, slim hips, and a look in their overly done eyes that practically screamed of sex. They were triplets, Pierce realized. Hello, Ready, Willing, and Able.
“Who is this, Jake?” One of them asked as she raked her eyes down Pierce’s Armani suit. In his mind, Pierce named this woman Ready.
“Pierce. Bro, what are you doing here?” Jake came around the bar and embraced him.
“I had a meeting in town. I should have called.”
Ready was the tallest of the blondes. She looped her arm into Pierce’s. “So…You’re Jake’s brother?”
“Mm. I see the family resemblance,” said the blonde with the longest hair—whom Pierce aptly named Willing because of the way she arched her chest toward him when she spoke.
“Yeah, we’re brothers.” Pierce peeled Ready’s arm from his. “Jake, I was hoping we could catch dinner.”
“I’ve got dinner for you.” The third blonde, whom Pierce had named Able, wiggled her shoulders at Pierce.
How did I ever find women like this attractive?
“Man, you’re just in time. We’re going to a party in about thirty minutes.” Jake narrowed his eyes. “You want a drink to loosen up that stress? You look like you’re carrying the world on your shoulders. Girls, help him out of that jacket, will ya?”
“Our pleasure.” Able grabbed his collar and slid his jacket off. “Oh, this is nice. Armani.” It rolled off her tongue like spun gold.
Ready loosened his tie. “We’ll loosen you up.”
“I’ve got it, thank you.” Pierce stepped away from their hungry fingers and loosened his tie.
“So, party, then?” Jake handed him a drink.
A party was the last place he wanted to go. He’d like for the next twenty-four hours to pass as quickly as possible so he could get back to Rebecca.
“Actually, I’m beat. I’ll hang out here, if you don’t mind. I’ll catch you when you get back.” Pierce gulped down his drink and set the glass on the bar.
“Bro. Really? We just wrapped filming the last in the Trojan series. Everyone’s going to be there.” Jake draped an arm around Able and Willing. “And I’ve got an extra woman for your arm.”
Ready giggled and pressed her body against Pierce’s side.
Pierce peeled Ready’s hands from his chest again. “Nice, Jake, but actually, things on that front have changed.”
“Whoa? You’ve gone gay on me?” Jake laughed.
“Hardly. I’ve gone monogamous.” He watched his brother’s smile fade and his eyes narrow.
“Monogamous. What the hell is happening back there in Trusty? You guys are dropping like flies. I’m not sure I should come home next weekend for Luke’s party.”
Willing ran her finger along the waistband of Jake’s low-riding jeans. “Monogamy is no fun. Right, girls?”
The other girls Mm-hmed in agreement.
“I wasn’t in Trusty. I was in Reno.” Pierce grabbed his jacket from where Able had set it on the bar.
“Girls, give us a minute, will you?” Jake watched them walk to the far end of the pool before joining Pier
ce at the bar. “What’s up?”
“Nothing. I thought I’d see if we could catch dinner.”
“Not that. What’s up with the monogamy shit?” Jake glanced back at the girls and shook his head. “Pierce, look at them. How can you turn that down?”
“Jake, you do realize that you’re only a few years away from forty, right? Don’t you ever want to have a real life? A family?” Pierce laughed at the words coming from his mouth. “Listen to me. Shit, give me that drink.” He took Jake’s drink from his hand and gulped it down.
“No shit. A real life? Man, I have more women than I could ever want. What more is there?” Jake glanced back again. Able blew him a kiss.
Pierce slapped his brother on the back. “I never thought I’d be the one saying it, but, Jake, there’s a hell of a lot more than tits and ass out there waiting for you.”
Jake squinted at him, moved in close and searched his eyes, then drew back. “Well, you’re not high. What the fuck? Am I being punked?” He made a show of looking from side to side.
Pierce shrugged, unable to repress his smile as he thought about Rebecca. “I met a woman and she changed everything. Rebecca Rivera.” Rebecca. He shifted his eyes to the blondes. Rebecca was ten times as pretty as they were, and he didn’t need to interview the blondes to know she was ten times as smart as all three of them combined.
“I bet a night with the triplets could change that.” Jake raised his brows with a mischievous grin.
“No, thanks.” He turned his back to the girls. “I know what you’re thinking. The same thing I was thinking when Wes and Luke each said they were in love. Not me. Never me.”
“Shit. It’s not even a consideration. You can do what you please, but life is too sweet right now to change a damn thing.” Jake shook his head. “But I will skip the party so we can hang out.”
“No. You don’t need to do that. Go. Have fun. I’ll be here when you get back. We can catch up then.”
Romancing My Love (Love in Bloom: The Bradens) Contemporary Romance Page 20
