“Survival mode,” he said softly.
“Yes. I know it well. I think I could write a handbook on survival. But I don’t want to be afraid anymore. I want to be a normal couple, Pierce. I want it to be okay for me to feel scared, or sad, or elated, and with you, I feel safe enough to do that. I don’t want to live the rest of my life standing my ground and proving who I am.”
“I love who you are.”
She smiled at the truth in his eyes. “Then you know that I’ll probably always stand my ground to some extent, regardless of my conviction right now.”
He cupped her cheek. “Yes, my beautiful, controlling girlfriend, I do know that.”
She let herself relish in his touch before finishing her thoughts. “There’s another side of me that wants to come back out. It’s a softer side, the one I shoved behind a brick wall when Mom got sick, and you may not like it as—”
He lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her. Oh, how she needed that kiss! She didn’t understand how one kiss could make her feel so completely loved, but when Pierce kissed her, his love consumed her. There was no other way to describe the feeling of how her worries disappeared and a net of safety surrounded her. She felt his hand grip her mother’s urn, which was a good thing because her knees were turning to wet noodles and she didn’t have much hope for her other muscles holding up.
Pierce ran his thumb over her lips. “I know and love your softer side, Rebecca. I’m so happy that you realized all of those things. I’ve never felt anything but respect for you and what you’ve done in your life. I love you, and nothing can ever change that.”
She pressed her cheek to his chest. “I see that clearly now.”
Pierce lifted her chin so their eyes met again. “Is it my turn now? I have to come clean, too.”
“Of course. I’m sorry. I’m talking and talking. It just feels so good to get through all this baggage.”
“It turns out that my bags are pretty full, too. While I was away, I realized that I can’t give up who I am even to soothe your need to handle things on your own. Part of loving someone is helping them through things.”
Oh God, no, no, no. “What—”
He pressed his lips to hers again, easing her worries.
“Shh. Let me finish. I’ll pick my battles, and you’ll win sometimes. I promise. But you need closure, and we need you to have that closure. But before we can get that closure, you need to know what’s going on in my mind. I’ve been thinking a lot, too, and I realized that part of the reason I can’t give up who I am is because when my father left, he took part of me with him. He took the part that believed in true love, the part that allowed a person to completely give themselves over to another person.”
He gazed into her eyes, and she wasn’t sure she was even breathing anymore.
He touched his forehead to hers, and the familiar intimacy allowed her to release the breath she’d been holding.
“I never knew that piece of me was missing, Rebecca, until you came into my life and I realized that my father no longer owned that piece of me. I was afraid. I’ve never even admitted it to myself, but I was afraid of everything that went along with being abandoned by a parent.” He drew back, his face a mask of seriousness.
“I lost my father, and even though it was his choice, and even though I tell everyone that he didn’t matter because he was a selfish asshole, it was—is—a very big deal. He broke me, Bec. He made me afraid to love. And you…” He tucked her hair behind her ear and kissed her forehead. “Rebecca, your strength and your conviction in who you are and how you’re treated, your love, and your empathy for others, God, everything about you—your touch, your feminine side that I adore—all those pieces of you helped me to heal.”
“Pierce.” She clung to his waist.
“You don’t have to say a word. I know exactly what you’re feeling, because I feel it, too. With you, I’m whole again. Now it’s my turn to help you heal.” He reached into his jacket pocket and handed her an envelope. “Tickets to Punta Allen.”
Her eyes filled with tears. She opened her mouth to object, and he pressed his lips to them again.
“Before you tell me you can’t accept them, please hear me out. These tickets are for six weeks from now. It was the only time you had three days in a row off work, and I knew you wouldn’t want me to pull any strings with your boss. That’s called a compromise, and if we’re going to make this work, we both need to work on learning about compromising.” He smiled, and tears spilled down her cheeks.
“Pierce, I…” She swallowed against her gut reaction to turn the tickets away and inched her body even closer to his, bringing them thigh to thigh, the urn pressed between their stomachs. Rebecca pressed one hand flat over his heart and closed her eyes, sensing the pure, honest love behind the gift. When she opened her eyes, he was still smiling, and she felt her lips curve up in return before saying the two words that came so easily in most situations—though she was only just beginning to get used to thinking them, much less saying them, with regard to accepting his help.
“Thank you.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
PIERCE PRACTICALLY HEARD the pieces of his life clicking into place after feeling out of sorts for the last two days. He’d bought the tickets to Punta Allen at the risk of upsetting Rebecca, but what he’d told her about not giving up all of the things he wanted to do for her was true. Rebecca wasn’t the type of woman who wanted to be lavished with jewels or clothing, and Pierce realized that he wasn’t the type of man who was looking to do those things. Maybe on special occasions, but Rebecca had forced him to learn what love was really about—and while material items had their place, they weren’t the things that filled a person’s soul. Those were the things he wanted to do for Rebecca. He wanted her to fall asleep in his arms knowing she was safe, and though he was sure he could afford whatever she wanted, most importantly, he’d be there for her through the most difficult times and, hopefully, the most enjoyable.
He took off his suit coat and wrapped it around her mother’s urn.
“Your jacket.” Rebecca touched his hand.
“It’s fine. That’s why they make dry cleaners.” He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it, then nestled the bundled urn on the floor of her car so it didn’t slide around while she drove. “Where to?”
She furrowed her brow in that adorable way that told Pierce she was debating something; then she ran her finger down the center of his chest. She could do that every day for the rest of his life and he’d never tire of it.
“Would you mind if we kept the urn at your house until we go to Punta Allen?” Rebecca asked. “I’d feel better if it was with us.”
Us. “I love the way you think.”
They drove separately to Pierce’s house, and it felt like a very big moment as they carried the urn across the threshold. Pierce watched Rebecca walk into the living room and assess where to set the urn. He didn’t say anything, didn’t want to influence her decision. He knew she’d find the perfect spot. She was wearing the same jeans she’d had on the night they’d first met, and at least twice since they’d been together. Even though the fit hadn’t changed, showing off the luscious curves of her hips and her strikingly small waist, she moved easier in them. She’d always been confident, but her confidence had been bound by thorns when they’d first met, and now she moved gracefully around the couch to the mantel. She tilted her head to the right and then to the left in a thoughtful pose. A moment later she went to the table by the window and ran her finger along the streak of sunlight that spread across the center of the cherry wood.
“Do you think it should be in this room?” she asked.
“I think it should be wherever you want it to be.”
She crossed the room toward the library. “This is really my favorite room in your house. It feels warm and inviting.” She sat on the curved couch with the urn in her lap and glanced over the bookshelves. “Did you know that I love to read?”
He sat down beside
her. “I did see some light reading by your bed. Business and marketing books.” He raised his brow with the tease.
She leaned against his shoulder. “I am a little obsessive about information. I love learning about all the things that go into a successful business, but I also love fiction. As we were driving here, I was thinking of where we could put the urn, and this room kept coming to mind. I haven’t had time to read for pleasure in forever. I was so focused on Mom and school that the luxuries of life went out the door.”
The idea of books being luxuries made Pierce realize how much he took for granted. He’d had more downtime in the last two weeks than he’d had in the last year, and now that he’d had a taste of it, he wanted more. With Rebecca.
“I have a feeling you’re going to love my brother Wes’s girlfriend, Callie. She’s a librarian.” He smiled thinking of his rugged, dude-ranch-owning brother and sweet, innocent Callie Barnes. He never would have paired Wes with someone so sweet, but they were perfectly suited for each other, just like he and Rebecca. Callie brought out the softer side of Wes, and Rebecca brought forth emotions in Pierce that he only realized this second he’d always wanted to feel.
“We’re going to Trusty this weekend, right? For the engagement party? I can’t wait to meet your family.”
“I can’t wait for you to meet them, but you should know that they’ll be surprised about you and me.” After Jake’s reaction, he thought it better to warn her ahead of time, because if there was one thing the Bradens loved, it was giving one another a hard time—always in jest, but always with a touch of truth, too.
“Really?” She arched a brow and flashed a mischievous grin. “Surprised that Good Time Pierce is now a one-woman man? I can’t imagine why they’d be surprised.”
He shook his head and laughed.
She rose to her feet and walked to the window, then turned and faced him with a wide smile. “Don’t worry. I think I can handle it.” She set the urn on the mantel and then lowered herself to Pierce’s lap. “But I know that if I can’t, you can.”
“And I always will.” He brushed Rebecca’s hair away from her face so he could see her more clearly. “Bec, other than the things you want career wise, what are you looking for in life?”
She fiddled with the buttons on his shirt. “What I want now and what I wanted before my mom got sick are very different.” She unbuttoned two buttons. “When I was younger, I thought I’d travel and see the world. My mom always talked about visiting Punta Allen, so that was on my list. The Greek islands was another dream, and of course, those places would be wrapped around some magnificent business that I ran, though I had no idea what I would do in that regard.”
“And now?”
She slid her hand inside his open shirt and caressed his chest. “Now?”
She kissed his chest, and she was so close that he couldn’t resist slipping her shirt from her shoulder and kissing the exposed skin.
“How can I think with you doing that?” She arched her neck back, opening up to him.
“You started it.” He kissed the curve of her breast, trailing kisses along the depth of her cleavage. “I missed you, but I can wait. Tell me what you want now.”
She finished unbuttoning his shirt and pushed it from his shoulders, then brought her lips to them, kissing his muscular pecs and then laving them with her tongue.
“Right now? This very second?” she whispered.
He lifted his hips, pressing his arousal against her hips. “No. I know exactly what you want this very second.” He pulled her shirt off, and with one quick flick, he unhooked and tossed aside her lacy bra and then filled his palms with her full breasts.
Rebecca sucked in air as he brushed her nipples with his thumbs, bringing them to taut peaks that he had to taste, inciting a sexy, wanting moan from Rebecca. The desire in her eyes mirrored the lust coursing through him.
“Tell me what you want in life, Bec.” He kissed the tops of her breasts, knowing he was stealing her thoughts second by second and loving it as her eyes fluttered closed and she tangled her hands in his hair.
“To be…” She panted. “Happy. To be…”
He ran his hands along her ribs, sliding his thumbs along the waist of her jeans, then leaned her back and took her belly with openmouthed kisses from hip to hip.
“To be?” he whispered. Her heated skin and heavy breaths were driving him crazy. He brought her back to sitting, and she clutched his shoulders, her eyes closed, her lips slightly parted. Oh, how he wanted to be inside her glorious mouth. He took ahold of the button of her jeans.
“To be?” he urged, desperately wanting to know what she really wanted—wanting to know if he was what she wanted. Needing to hear it from her lips. She had opened up to him so much, he felt closer to her by the second and wanted more.
“To love and be loved,” she said in one long breath.
With one yank, the button came free. “Anything else?” He unzipped her jeans and ran one finger along the edge of her panties, then gripped both thighs, squeezing as he followed them from her knees to the curve near her sex.
“No. I just…” She unbuttoned his pants. “I just want you, Pierce. I don’t care what we have or where we go. I want you. With me. Inside me. By my side. I want you in every way.”
He took her in a hard kiss, swiping her mouth as if he were tasting her for the first time—claiming her and marking her. She clawed at his shoulders, meeting each swipe of his tongue with a fierce stroke of her own.
“Rebecca.” Her name came fast as he kissed her jaw, her collarbone, her shoulders, every bit of flesh he could reach. He took her breasts in his mouth again, loving them, sucking them, as she ground her ass into his lap. He lifted her from his lap, holding her steady as he ripped every stitch of clothing from her body and then tore off his own.
She cupped his balls, and as the shock of pleasure shot through him, she took him in her mouth—deep. Sucking and stroking, loving him until he thought he might explode. In one swift move, he lifted her into his arms, and she slid down, taking the tip of his arousal into her wet center with a moan as she settled her teeth over his neck and sucked—sending a bolt of lightning to his loins. Holy Christ, she felt amazing. They were both lost in a frenzy of need and want. She dug her fingernails into his arms, sparking his brain to function and take a step back. He wanted her to have everything she ever wanted—including peace of mind. It took all of his willpower to lift her higher, off of his thick length before he lost all control and pushed deeper inside her.
“Condom,” he grunted.
“Mm-hm.” She continued sucking the life out of his neck as he carried her into the bedroom. Her legs straddled his waist and her bare breasts pressed against his chest; her heart pounded frantically against his.
“Hold on tight,” he commanded.
She tightened her arms around his neck, her legs around his middle as he adeptly slid on the protective sheath. He clutched her waist and eased her down onto his throbbing heat. She squeezed her thighs around him as he thrust into her over and over again. He backed her up against the wall so he could penetrate deeper; then, buried to the hilt, his balls wet with her juices, he stilled, chest to chest, eye to eye.
“I love you, Rebecca, but I’ve got to fuck you.” There was a time in every man’s life when he had to say those words, and he knew Rebecca was feeling the same consuming obsession of their love.
Her eyes narrowed. “What took you so long?”
With one arm, he swiped everything from the dresser, sending his colognes and other paraphernalia to the floor, and set her down on the top of the dresser, gripped her below the knees, spreading her legs wider, lifting them higher, opening her to him so she felt every deep thrust. She clutched his biceps for balance.
“Deeper,” she urged.
“Holy fuck, Bec.” He drove harder, deeper, then lifted her with one strong arm and spun them around to the bed. She pushed away and turned onto her hands and knees, then cast a hungry stare over her sho
ulder, sending her hair seductively over one eye. Her glorious ass was there for the taking. No fucking way was he going there right now. He might want to fuck her, but fuck as in love her hard, not break new boundaries.
“I read in Cosmo that you can go deeper like this.”
Jesus, she was too hot. Cosmo?
She arched her back and lowered her shoulders as he entered her again. The first thrust was sheer heaven, pulling a groan from his lungs. He reached beneath her and caressed her breasts, lifting her so they were as close as two bodies could be.
She gasped a breath and he stilled.
“Are you okay?”
“You just feel so good.” She moved up and down, driving him out of his mind.
He squeezed one nipple and slid his other hand lower, teasing her sensitive bundles of nerves. She breathed fast, halted breaths, tightening her thighs, squeezing him inside her as she climbed to the peak and arched against him. Her hand flew up, and she grabbed hold of his hair—exquisite pain heightened his pleasure. She cried out his name as the orgasm sent her hips bucking, her body pulsing around him. He sank his teeth into the back of her neck, wanting to share the mix of pain and pleasure.
“Oh God…Oh God…I’m gonna…” She cried out as she came again.
Need gripped every nerve in Pierce’s body as he worked her over the final wave of her orgasm. Then he flipped her onto her back, lifting her knees to his sides. When their eyes connected, all that urgency came to a screeching halt. He was overcome with the love he felt for her. He kissed her tenderly, a whisper of his lips against hers.
All their talk from earlier in the afternoon came rushing back to him. Their honesty, their fears, their love. He felt like the breath was being sucked from his lungs with the intensity of it all. He lowered his forehead to hers, panting. “I didn’t know it was possible to love as wholly as I love you.”
She shook her head and stroked his cheek. Pierce closed his eyes and pressed his hand to hers, savoring the feel of her palm on his face.
Romancing My Love (Love in Bloom: The Bradens) Contemporary Romance Page 23
