by Golden Angel
Whatever. She'd drop a few more hints along the way until he finally came home. There was only so much she could do, and then it was up to him to not freak out. She tapped her pen on her desk, making herself sit up straight rather than slouching and resting her head on her hand like she wanted to. It wasn't a very professional look, after all. Sending the email to Jake hadn't made her feel that much better, because in the end, he wasn't the one she needed to convince.
It didn't really matter what Jake thought, although of course she wanted his approval, but she was willing to fight for what she wanted. Her life was hers and no one else's, unless she chose to give them control over it. Like she wanted to with Patrick. Even if Jake was upset at first, honestly, she thought it would make him a pretty shitty big brother and best friend if he let some weird, protective emotions keep her and Patrick from being happy.
Because after last night, Lexie knew that Patrick made her very, very happy. The scene had been exactly the kind of thing she'd always fantasized about. Parts of her body still throbbed and ached a little bit, and she relished every second of the lingering effects. This was how she was meant to feel. Knowing that she was going to be working at the club tonight excited her more than usual, like there was extra meaning behind her presence there.
Last night's scene hadn't completely fulfilled her, of course, because Patrick hadn't actually touched her with his hands or lips until the scene was over, but the hope it engendered was enough. For now.
******
Being back behind the front desk at Stronghold after her first training session was making Lexie antsy. It wasn't boring, not with all the people coming in wearing their interesting outfits, and most of them wanted to stop and talk with her, but she felt a restlessness that she hadn't experienced before. The faint, throbbing beat of music coming through the walls had her dancing and entertaining Jared with her jerky movements, but it was the only way she could expend some of the energy that was building up inside of her.
She wanted so badly to be back inside the club. Even if she couldn't scene, she wanted to watch. To observe. To learn. Now that she'd actually experienced two scenes, she wanted to see more of how other couples interacted. IT was a bit like having a taste of chocolate. Just a small taste. Enough to make her crave more, and even if she couldn't eat the chocolate herself, she wanted to know everything about it until the next time she could have some of her own chocolate. Okay, maybe it wasn't a great analogy, but she really couldn't think of how else to explain it. Just that she wanted to surround herself with the sights and sounds of BDSM until it was her turn again. It felt weird to crave living vicariously through others, but it would still be better than sitting at the front desk and being shut out entirely.
She stroked the training collar around her neck. Patrick had said to wear it whenever she came to the club, and he hadn’t excluded work from that statement, so she had it on tonight. Just having it on made her feel good, but it also made her even more restless.
"Can't you sit still?" Jared's deep voice was tinged with both amusement and frustration, his dark eyes fixed on her from across the room.
Lexie grasped her desk with both hands, trying to control the urge to kick her legs some more. "Sorry. Too much energy."
"What did you do, drink a pot of coffee before coming here?"
"No... just..." Her frustration swirled. "How can you bear it? Standing outside the door... don't you want to go in?"
The big guy looked at her, a little sadly. "Go in and play with no one? No, I'd rather be out here where I can at least be useful."
Guilt settled her down a bit. Jared's on-again, off-again submissive and girlfriend had been out of town for weeks now. Granted, he always seemed happier when she was gone and he could do his own thing, but he was also completely faithful to her. Not that she deserved it. The bitch. Marissa had a habit of wanting an open relationship while they were apart. Jared would scene, then, but he never actually dated any of the subs. Just got his needs met.
All the submissives in the club knew that Jared was always good for a cuddle or a shoulder to cry on or a supportive hug. Whenever he was free to play, they were lining up for it. Unfortunately, every time, Marissa would just sink her claws back into him and he'd go along with it. Lexie couldn't understand why he bought into her manipulations every single time. Then again, she thought, not everyone could understand her patience with waiting for Patrick to come around.
"Sorry," she said, feeling bad that she'd reminded him of his own relationship issues. "I'm just antsy."
Jared looked at her with sympathy in his eyes, and also a bit of big-brotherly resignation. "I really wish I didn't understand, but I do."
"You guys will get used to me scening here eventually," Lexie said, giving him her brightest smile and hoping to distract him from any troubling thoughts she'd brought up for him. "You'll have plenty of time to."
"Great." Sarcasm laced the word and he gave an exaggerated groan, but he actually didn't seem too upset about it or anything. Just kind of resigned and maybe a little uncomfortable. Then again, he, more than any of the other guys, probably understood what it was like to be constantly denied a need. When it came to relationship issues, Jared had them in spades.
"So when is Marissa coming home?" Lexie asked, curious. She did her best to keep her dislike for the other woman out of her voice.
"Next week." He didn't look super excited about it. Lexie debated pointing that out, but figured he probably was getting enough of that from the other guys.
"That's good," she said, noncommittally. "Jake's coming home in October."
Jared flashed a grin, a reaction notably missing when talking about his girlfriend returning. "I've heard. It'll be good to see him again." He raised his eyebrow at her. "What's he going to think about you being here?"
"Doesn't really matter," Lexie retorted, smirking. "There's nothing he could say that would make me stop." Her expression grew more serious. "I need this. Just like you guys. If not here, I'll find it elsewhere."
The gruffly protective look that he gave her was exactly what she'd expected. She didn't mean the words as a threat though, they were just the truth. Denying a part of herself hadn't worked out for her and there was no way she was going to make herself miserable just for the Sentinels’ comfort. They just had to deal with the fact that she was just as much a kinky bitch as they all were.
The front door opened, letting in a mass of people all at once. Lexie grinned, sitting up and smiling.
It was another two hours before things really slowed down again, and Lexie was kept hopping way more than she was during her day job. She didn't just greet people, check them in, and take their coats, she was also in charge of the Theme Rooms. It never ceased to amaze her how many dominants procrastinated on setting up some time in a Theme room, waiting until they arrived to see what was open. Then, if they'd brought some of their own equipment, she was in charge of making sure the bag ended up in the right room at the right time. Other submissives who worked at the club did the actual running for her, but she had to know whose bag was whose and where and when they needed to go. A few carried their bags around with them, but most preferred not to be burdened until they were ready to actually play.
So once things started getting busy, Lexie rarely stopped. Especially because people always wanted to chat a bit too, before heading into the club. Now that she'd done a scene, people were even chattier than usual.
Her shift ended at eleven, at which point Miranda came out of the club to take over. Lexie could immediately tell that the other woman had done a scene earlier that evening; she looked both flushed and satisfied. Envy trickled through her, but she knew that going into the club without Patrick was just going to be a letdown. There was no way she was going to break their agreement not to play with others, and if she went in without him, he'd probably just take it as a direct challenge and send her home. That kind of stunt was considered topping from the bottom.
"Patrick wants to see you in his off
ice," Miranda said cheerfully, as she hopped up onto the seat Lexie had just vacated.
"Oh... okay, thanks." The words tumbled out as surprise and curiosity wrapped around her. She also felt a lot perkier than she had a minute ago. Patrick wanted to see her, huh? That was new and different. Normally he didn't take the time to say goodbye at the end of her shift.
That perkiness lasted less than five seconds once she actually walked into his office. The big bastard was sitting behind his desk, working on some papers, and he didn't even glance up when she came in. She drank him in with her eyes, kind of hating how her attraction to him sizzled when he hadn't even acknowledged her presence. The soft, white cotton shirt he was wearing clung to his body, his muscles, and made a gorgeous contrast to his dark skin.
Without looking up, he reached out one hand and pointed to the floor next to him. "Kneel here. Quietly."
The calm authority in his voice had her moving before she could even think about it, and as soon as she did, she hesitated. Patrick kept writing. Part of her wanted to snap at him, but another part of her was kind of thrilled that he wanted her in his office, next to him, even though her shift was over.
You knew he wanted a full-time submissive, now get your ass into gear and prove you can be one!
When she came around the side of the desk, she could see that he had a cushion on the floor, and she smiled a little bit as she knelt down. He'd thought ahead for her comfort. Not that the carpet would have been completely uncomfortable, but it would have started to hurt her knees eventually. Of course, that just made her wonder exactly how long he planned on having her kneel here.
Whatever. She'd do it for as long as he wanted.
Folding herself onto her knees. Lexie put her hands behind her back the way he liked, keeping her gaze on the ground in front of her. She wondered if she should be insulted that she was being ignored, but instead it felt like he was somehow including her in his life. After all, this was what he did at work, ran a club, and he wanted her beside him even if she wasn't doing anything. That was nice.
His pen scratched across the paper, and she could just barely hear him muttering under his breath, although she couldn't quite make out what he was saying. The sound was surprisingly soothing. In fact, she already felt a lot less antsy than she had when she'd been sitting out front.
"Good girl," he finally said, reaching out to absently stroke her hair. "You may rest your hands on your lap."
She couldn't help a little sigh of relief as she moved her hands into place. Holding them behind her back wasn't exactly uncomfortable, but it wasn't comfortable either. Resting them on her lap was much more so. Listening to the faint sounds of him working, kneeling by his side, Lexie should have been bored. But she wasn't. Instead she felt almost meditative.
******
Watching Pixie out of the corner of his eye, Patrick had to admit to himself that he was impressed. He'd thought she'd balk at kneeling in place with nothing to do but wait for his next order. Instead, the expression on her face was calm, even happy. The way he'd always imagined his submissive would look as she knelt next to him.
This was a simple fantasy to have, but not such a simple one to fulfill. A lot of submissives couldn't handle just sitting and waiting. It made them feel like they were in a scene, and they eventually needed the scene to progress. Patrick wanted it as a lifestyle though, and he could admit to himself that he'd been testing Lexie. Minutes passed as he worked, all too aware of the woman kneeling by his chair. She didn't try to distract him or get his attention, she just knelt in place on her cushion, looking completely satisfied to be there.
Which, in turn, made him satisfied to have her there. It also turned him on.
Fuck she was perfect. But he couldn't help wondering if she would truly be happy doing this on a regular basis.
"Excuse me, Sir." Her voice slid into his consciousness and he almost sighed. Here it came. The questions. Wanting to know why he was making her do this. What he wanted from her. When she could leave.
"Yes, Pixie?" he said, turning his head to look down at her as he pressed his pen down so that he didn't lose his place in balancing the accounts. The black leather bustier she was wearing covered her top completely, which just made him want to open it so he could see her nipple rings, and the short black skirt came down to cover about half of her thighs in her current position. The more she covered, the more he wanted to see. But the collar around her neck… that was fucking perfect. Just a training collar, and yet he felt satisfaction looking at it, as if it proclaimed to the world that she was his.
"May I change position? My knees are starting to ache."
"Yes, but try not to shift around too much."
"I won't. Sir." She smiled up at him as she rocked, getting her legs out from under her, sighing with some relief as she stretched her legs out in front of her. Patrick had to smile, because she looked so damned cute, trying not to move too much as she got into a more comfortable position.
He waited to see if she was going to ask anything else, but it appeared that she'd gone back to being contemplative and happily calm. Which surprised him. Even though Lexie was obviously a submissive, he hadn't really thought that she'd take to this side of things so well. He knew she had feelings for him, so he'd expected some show of determination... but instead she seemed content. Perfectly happy to sit and wait for him. It didn't look like she was just doing it to 'show him.' He would have noticed that kind of attitude from her, and he wouldn't have found it relaxing.
Instead, it felt completely natural to do his work, occasionally reaching over to stroke her hair. Natural and like a dream come true, all at the same time. So he kept her there until the end of the night. Although she occasionally shifted position, there were times when she did so quietly enough that he didn't even notice. Not once did she complain. Not once did she play the brat or try and top from the bottom and get his attention. It was probably the most productive night he'd ever had.
Which, when it came right down to it, meant he was fucked.
******
Emergency girls' night. My place. Leigh and Michael broke up. She needs distracting / support. Come as soon as you can.
The text from Angel had Lexie jumping into motion. She was supposed to be at Stronghold in three hours, but there was no way that was happening now. Just as she was about to send out a mass text, begging someone to cover her shift at the front desk, she paused. Normally, as long as she got her shift covered, it didn't matter that she didn't come in. Patrick might be cranky, depending on her reasons, but it wasn't a big deal.
But what about now? Should she check in with him first?
Last night had been intimate in ways that transcended the sexual. He'd treated her as his sub, even though she hadn't done more than stay beside him until he'd dismissed her. When she got out to her car, she realized that he'd kept her in his office for two hours. Not that she minded. Surprisingly, she hadn't even gotten bored, because he had been there and she'd gotten lost in her fantasies and the pleasure of being near him. But she'd surprised him, she could tell that. He hadn't expected her to handle that so well. Honestly, she hadn't been sure how she'd handle the whole 24/7 thing, but if that was a taste of it... well, she really liked it.
If that's the road that she wanted to go down, might as well stick to the path. So she dropped the text she'd been starting to write and put in his number instead.
Angel's asked us to come over for an emergency girls' night. Leigh and Michael broke up, and she needs us. Is it alright if I have someone cover my shift, Sir?
While she was waiting for the reply, she threw her pajamas and a change of clothes in a bag. In some ways, this was as much a test for him as it was for her. She'd enjoyed last night, she really had, and some days she really liked the idea of having Patrick ordering her life... but when it came to things like this, she needed to know that he would respect her needs as well. That he wouldn't control just to control and that she would still be able to have her life.
/> As much as Lexie wanted to be with him, as deep as her feelings were for him, she wasn't going to be a complete doormat just because she was willing to give him control. She wanted to be his full-time submissive, but not a slave. To her, there was an important distinction between the two, and part of that distinction was things like girls’ nights. Especially emergency ones.
His response made her scowl.
Of course you can, why are you asking me?
The only consolation she had was that she'd been smart enough to text him instead of calling him. If he'd said that to her over the phone, she would have lost her temper. She was worried about Leigh, anxious over him, and now mad at herself for not realizing that he was probably going to pull back now. Biting her lip, she made herself calm down and think logically.
They'd made several very big steps this week. He'd not just watched her scene with someone else, he'd now scened with her. Then, last night, he'd invited her into his life, and she'd enjoyed it. It shouldn't be too surprising that he'd try to push her away now. Mixed messages were pretty much how they communicated.
The best thing she could do was not get upset, the way he probably expected her to. She'd just been thinking that she needed to follow the path towards the goal she wanted. Now was not the time to get distracted just because he was being a thick-headed jerkface.
Thank you, Sir.
Smirking, she quickly sent out the text to the other receptionists, praying that someone would get back to her. Patrick didn't text her back, of course, but then, she didn't really expect him to. He probably had no idea what the fuck to say to that, which was the point. She'd ignored the second part of his text and only concentrated on the first, which was all she cared about. After all, she'd asked for permission, and he'd granted it, and that's what was really important, right?
Hmm... should she bring alcohol? Taking her bag into the kitchen, she pulled out her bottle of salted caramel vodka (which was only half full) and a new bottle of pumpkin cream liquor that she'd picked up the last time she was at the store. Tonight seemed like a good night to try it. Even if she had to leave to go work her shift, she'd be at Angel's for as long as possible and then she'd come back as soon as she could.
