I looked over at Ethan, then Sebastian, Winter, and finally Josh, and not one of them made an effort to move. We’re just going to let this happen? Allow Chris to murder the Master of the Northern Seethe in front of us while we watch like we’re at the movies? No one’s going to move?
Forget stopping it—they looked bored and inconvenienced.
“You disobeyed me, did you expect something different?” Demetrius said in a low, cool voice, seemingly unaffected by the threat and the knife held at his throat.
Really? This seems like a good time to goad her? Part of me wanted to let it happen, too.
She pressed harder; he winced and then smiled, his hand reaching up to touch hers. I thought he would have tried to remove the knife, since that’s what most sane people who don’t have adoration for pain and violence would do. But I was dealing with Demetrius, and his Seethe seemed to have a masochistic tendency that still left me bewildered.
His thumb lightly stroked her finger, gently, lovingly. He smiled, his adulation of her and this particular moment apparent. That was what you did when you were a person like Demetrius—developed a crush on the person holding a knife to your throat. “I’ve missed you.”
The feeling wasn’t mutual. Chris’s hands were trembling, and I realized she didn’t have as much control as she would have liked. We didn’t have time for the Seethe and their revenge for Chris killing him and us letting her do it.
“Chris,” I said softly. The same mild, soothing voice I had to use with were-animals on the brink of losing control. It was like handling a bomb—she needed to be dealt with quickly and gently. First I moved Demetrius’s hand from hers, and then I covered her hand with mine. She relaxed, allowing me to guide the knife from her.
“Demetrius, please leave.” He hesitated before again looking at Chris, who had put some much-needed distance between them.
Frozen, he remained with his attention fixed on her. I wasn’t sure if his feelings for her were genuine or just the obsessiveness of a man who was used to people bowing to his every whim and desire. Was Chris someone he wanted, loved, or the wild one he’d like to break?
“Demetrius, Sky asked you to leave. Honor her request or I’ll make you,” Ethan said. I was still too angry to look in his direction.
After several moments of contemplation, Demetrius left. Several more had passed, and I began to ask Chris where she was going as she started out the door. “I said I will help and I will, but I have to feed.”
“I assure you if you leave, you will not be able to come back. Demetrius will make certain of that.”
She grinned. “You give Demetrius and his Seethe too much credit. I stayed in business because he’s not nearly as good at hunting as he’d have you to believe. I’ll be fine.”
“You can use me,” I offered before she could leave. Amusement made its way to her eyes and brightened them, although they were now an odd cross between crimson and black opal, very different from her brown human eyes. Long mascara-coated eyelashes and thick lines of liner drew attention to them. Her laughter filled the air. “Bambi, I would love to take you up on that offer, but if Quell is any example of what happens when a vampire tastes Bambi blood, then I’ll have to pass. Fawning over the cute brunette in the Midwest Pack is really not on my to-do list.”
I thought we had a moment and then you do this. Fine, starve.
“I’ll do it,” Josh offered.
Chris stepped away from the door and examined him, looking over his arms. She shook her head. “Ink. I can’t stand the taste of it.”
Finding a spot on Josh that wasn’t inked was a task. He had two full sleeves that ended at his wrists, and even a small one on his hand. I knew that some vampires fed from the saphenous vein, the one running down the inner thigh, but I wasn’t sure if that was available because he was quickly running out of visible skin to ink. He tilted his head, exposing his neck while backing into the couch and then taking a seat.
Chris approached him slowly, the offer more tempting than she appeared to want to let on, but I could see the thirst in her face, in the way her eyes widened and the pupils pulsed at the sight of the proffered vein. The terait, the orange quarter ring around the pupils of the vampire’s eyes that indicated they were hungry, was more pronounced now.
I’d fed Quell a number of times, but nothing we did looked remotely like what happened between Josh and Chris. She crawled on him, her legs astride his. When she spoke, her voice was low, for his ears only, and it would have been if they were anywhere else other than in a room full of were-animals.
“Have you done this before?”
“Yes.”
“Neck?”
“No.”
“Okay, I’ll be gentle.” There was a hint of humor in her voice, but it didn’t help temper her intensity. Furtive glances from everyone went in Ethan’s direction, but he maintained the inscrutable look on his face. As she moved in closer to his brother, her face nestled into his neck, her fingers curling into his hair as she pulled him closer to her. Then he made a sound—I would have liked to say it was a groan, but I’d heard people groan and that wasn’t it. It was something more carnal and laden with pleasure. Eyes flew in Ethan’s direction as Josh rested back on the sofa, exposing more of his neck. His hands rested at his sides but soon slinked up, kneading into her skin, an act that seemed more intimate than anything that had ever happened between me and Quell. I caught Ethan looking at me and wondered if he was thinking about me and Quell or Josh and Chris.
The feeding between Chris and Josh had reduced us to voyeurs watching something that was undeniably intimate and bordered on erotic. I was glad that I wasn’t the only one in the room who was uncomfortable. She finally pulled away, examining the puncture marks on his neck before slowly laving over them to close them.
Josh’s arms were still resting on her hips when she finished, and she smiled and looked down at his lap and then smiled. His wayward grin was accented by streaks of red that ran along the bridge of his nose and cheeks. It was a moment before he stood, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out why.
Chris’s face had brightened from recently feeding, and her tongue slid over her lips, removing all rivulets of blood. She made her way to her bag across the room, pulled out a pen and a pad of paper and scribbled something on it. “This is my fee. It’s high, and you’re going to be a little pissed. Get over it and wire the money to the account below.”
It didn’t just piss Sebastian off, he stared at it for several minutes before thrusting the paper back at her. “No.”
She blew out an exaggerated breath, making her lips ripple. “How many times must I tell you all—we aren’t going to haggle. I said I’d do it to save Bambi; I didn’t say I was going to do it for free. But if you need time to pretend you don’t need me, I’ll be around. Apparently, Claudia knows how to find me.”
Glaring at Chris throughout the entire process, Sebastian took out his phone and, after a few moments, nodded in her direction.
After she checked her phone to confirm delivery, she asked, “So I visit him and what? There has to be more than that. Do you have a plan?”
Sebastian gave her a small nod and then said, “We have possession of a Tod Schlaf.”
Without needing more explanation, she smiled. “So, I’m assuming since you all don’t want me out and about, I’m staying with Josh?”
Josh shrugged, indifferent.
“Josh? Hell, no,” Ethan snapped. He was noticeably angry about the arrangement, and I could feel everyone’s stares on me.
“Why not?” Josh asked.
“If Demetrius does decide to come and get Chris I don’t want you put in danger.”
I frowned at the answer because it was as thin as his voice. Josh had on many occasions proven his ability to stand up against vampires.
“I’ll be fine. I have a ward that I will set up, and I’m sure Chris and I can handle ourselves if they try.”
Ethan’s stern look persisted, and as usual sibling rival
ry reared its head, with Josh consistently trying to retain control that Ethan tried to take away. The brothers’ pack of two seemed to face daily challenges to determine who was going to be the Alpha.
“We’ll be fine,” Chris said as she started for the door with Josh close behind. Graphite rolled over Ethan’s stormy blue eyes, and I could feel the tension radiating off him.
Even once Sebastian started to speak, he stayed focused on the door.
I hadn’t thought sleep would come easy when Ethan and I went to bed, and it didn’t. We hadn’t spoken after everyone had left, and each time I considered talking about Chris, it sparked jealousy and anger. I didn’t like feeling that way.
After several attempts to sleep, a problem that Ethan didn’t have, I stared at the screen of the television and had no idea what I was watching because I had turned the volume down.
“You can’t sleep?” Ethan asked, leaning against the wall. No, I’m considering dressing up like a superhero and going out to fight crime. I barely glanced in his direction because when I did, I thought about how he’d fought to keep Chris away from Josh—that bothered me. How difficult it had been for him not to show emotions as Josh had fed Chris—that bothered me. And the influx of all the new emotions I was feeling and having a difficult time controlling—that bothered me, too. The warning signs were there, and I’d ignored them and let things happen between Ethan and me that I was probably going to regret.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I responded stiffly.
The irritated growl reverberated in his chest. “You know I hate when you lie to me. Don’t do it.”
“Do I have to worry? About Chris? Do I have to worry about her and you together? I saw the way you responded to her feeding from Josh. Is her being a vampire the only thing that’s keeping you from her? Eventually, that won’t bother you so much.”
He rested against the wall in silent contemplation, rubbing his hand over the shadow on his face that had been there for a couple of days—seemingly, he’d decided to grow a beard. “Chris was easier to be with,” he started.
“Nice to hear, you plan on putting that on my Valentine’s card? Or do you have something even more insensitive?”
“Do you have more or are you going to let me finish?”
I clenched my teeth together because I had plenty more to say, but none of it was going to help the situation. The uncomfortable moment lingered for longer than I’d wished, and although I refused to meet them, I could feel his eyes on me. In a low, somnolent voice he called my name, and I looked in his direction. “Can I finish?”
My head barely moved into the nod. I wasn’t sure why I was nervous to hear the rest.
“Most people didn’t understand my relationship with Chris.”
Most? Every time it’s described, it’s compared to a natural disaster that caused insurmountable devastation. Yeah, most people don’t understand your relationship with Chris and consider it an event of mass destruction.
Instead of sharing that, I simply nodded for him to continue. “It was easy with her, contrary to what others thought. Our relationship didn’t extend any further than the walls, more specifically the bedroom. When we were there, we were together. I knew what she was capable of and likewise she of me. Our loyalties and expectations like everything else ended when we went out the door. I’m not saying it was a functional relationship—it was riddled with dysfunction—but it worked for us. What you and I have is complicated and extends further than this bedroom, this house. I’ve accepted everything about it and about you. I didn’t enter into anything naïvely or blindly. I knew what I was signing on to when I decided to be with you.” He took a moment and bit the corner of his lip, the way his brother did when he was uncomfortable. “It’s worth the trade-off. All of it.”
He walked over and sat next to me, and I leaned into him. He kissed me on top of my head. “Sky, I don’t want to keep having this conversation.”
“We’ve never discussed Chris before,” I pointed out. I felt like Josh at the moment, trying to establish my position in our little pack or whatever it was. Ethan was so used to answering to one person only, Sebastian, and because of his dominance level and the understanding that he would be the Alpha in any other pack, their interaction was that of two Alphas as opposed to that of a Beta and an Alpha.
“We have had this conversation. I told you once, you don’t have anything to worry about. You don’t. Okay?”
I nodded.
“Now we need to discuss Quell.”
Thoughts of Chris had caused me to forget that. I pushed up from him. “Why did you intervene with Demetrius? I was just—”
“I know what you were just going to do, and I won’t allow it.”
There goes that word allow again. I really needed to get him a thesaurus or a book on the power of words. I sucked in a sharp breath. “Allow? Do you want to rephrase that?”
“Okay.” He grinned. “I’m not going to let Quell come back. That’s not up for debate. He’s fine. He settled into a nice house, and from my understanding, he has a donor and she’s safe with him.”
I made a face. “What?”
“He found a donor, a brunette with curly hair and similar features to yours. Her eyes are blue instead of green.” He studied me. I didn’t say anything. Ethan had once asked if I was in love with Quell, and I wasn’t able to answer him because I didn’t know. I had feelings for him and perhaps it was love, not romantic, but I had a connection with him—I always felt that we were each other’s anchor. He was there ensuring that I didn’t get submerged into this world and forget my humanity. And because he was a person who had lost all faith in humanity, I represented that hope for redemption. It was a heavy burden, but part of me needed the accountability. And now he was gone. I missed him as much as I missed Steven sometimes.
“How is he doing?”
Ethan’s tone was cool, brusque, and so was the smile he attempted. “I find it oddly convenient that he was unable to survive without you, yet he seems to be doing just fine now without you. I can’t help but wonder if it was an excuse he used to have access to you because he knew you would be there if he needed you.”
“He’s not like that.”
I didn’t try to read his stolid expression. It was obvious he’d already come to his own conclusion.
He stood up and extended his hand to me to help me up. “I pose that same question to you. Do I have to worry about Quell?”
I shook my head.
“I need to hear it,” he said softly.
“No. You don’t have to worry about Quell.”
CHAPTER 8
Of the many bad ideas I’d had, this ranked in the top five. The decision had been made, Chris paid, and the process started, but it didn’t stop me from slipping out of bed at three in the morning and driving to Josh’s home. I wondered how long it would be before Ethan noticed I was missing. Who was I kidding—he’d probably heard me the moment my feet had touched the floor. As I knocked on Josh’s door, part of me expected Ethan to drive up. I exhaled a sigh of relief when he didn’t.
The situation had been handled and wrapped up in a pretty little disturbing and sordid package. I was supposed to be okay and be acquiescent. I just couldn’t do it. It settled too hard on me, and it was more than guilt. We had dived too deep into the swamp and there wasn’t any way to come out smelling like anything other than filth. At what point was a necessary evil just pure evil? No matter how blurred we perceived them to be, there were still boundaries, definitive lines between questionable and pure egregious acts against humanity. Giving Chris to Logan even if she’d agreed to it had taken the pack and our plan across the line between necessary and reprehensible.
Perhaps it was my guilt-clouded mind that had made me feel that way, but I didn’t care. Josh answered his door, and I wasn’t sure if he’d been asleep or not because he looked the same way whether it was midday or the wee hours of the morning. Instead of wrinkled relaxed jeans, he had on a pair of b
oxers and no shirt, once again not very different from what I was used to. Unless he was outside in public, he held to that beloved tenet of the pack, the fewer clothes the better. The boxers were just a courtesy to whoever was knocking on the door, because he was content with answering it as naked as the day he was born.
But he didn’t look like he had been asleep. He managed the pack’s club, a job that often required him to be out late. As they did with most of our lives, pack issues made his attendance at a job a problem; today he probably hadn’t gone because he’d been dealing with Chris. As I gave him a sweeping look, I was reminded of the ribald little show he and Chris had put on earlier.
Drinking at the city’s “it” spot and dancing with whatever hot socialite he’d picked for the night was really taking creative license with the word work. But somehow the pack had qualified it as such.
He rubbed his hand over his mussed hair, widening the door. “What’s up?” he asked. The scent of alcohol wafted off his breath, and I inhaled the pot-drenched air coming from behind the door. I made a face and he grinned.
“You didn’t invite me to the party,” I teased. Walking in, I scanned his home. It was very different from the high-rise condo in the city he had had before; after too many mishaps, he’d been asked to find other living arrangements. His house fit him. It was as eclectic and unique as he was. In the heart of suburbia, the three-bedroom Art Moderne ranch with unique lined architecture definitely stood out among the more traditional homes.
It no longer had the frat house look inside anymore, which meant either Ethan’s designer or Claudia had paid a visit. Metal art covered the cranberry-colored walls. A large-screen TV covered a greater part of one wall. I was sure the decorative rug hadn’t had stains on it when it was first placed in the house. Espresso-colored furniture had replaced his well-used post-college pieces. But while you could take Josh out of the frat house, you couldn’t take the frat house out of Josh, and ignoring the cluttered space was difficult. The tall bookcase was nearly empty, and it looked like most of the books that had once occupied it were stacked on the sofa. Papers with scribbling on them were scattered on the love seat and another table in the corner. There were two tumblers on the kitchen table and an open bottle of wine on the coffee table. Josh rarely drank wine, so it had to be Chris’s. Another flash of her feeding from him popped into my head.
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