“We could go to my place,” Adam said, standing up as well.
So he just wasn’t going to address the elephant crushing both of them in the room. “No,” she said. “Not tonight.”
“Then what night?” Adam asked. He didn’t raise his voice often, but he did then. “It’s nearly February. How long are you going to hold this over my head?”
“I’m not holding anything over your head,” Elle said, although now, of course, she couldn’t get those damn pictures of her mind. “I just need-”
“Time, yeah, I know,” he finished for her. “How much time? I’m trying to be patient. What do I need to do?”
Elle eyed him for a long moment. She had a feeling she was broaching a conversation she really wouldn’t enjoy but couldn’t stop herself. “Be completely honest with me.”
“What are you talking about?” Adam demanded, throwing his hands up. “I’ve been honest-”
“Did you bite her?” Dammit, why was she torturing herself?
“What? Why are you even asking me that?”
It wasn’t a denial. “Did she like it?” Elle asked. She must have a masochistic streak in her.
“Elle-”
“Does she still like it?” She could feel herself shaking, but she couldn’t make the questions stop.
Adam looked like he wanted to rip his own tongue out. “This- this is pointless-”
“You keep asking me what I want you to do,” she said, shaking be damned, “and I’m telling you what you need to do. Did She Like It When You Bit Her?”
Adam started to run his fingers through his hair and actually pulled at it. “What, you want a play-by-play?”
“Why can’t you just tell me-”
“Dammit, Elle, why do you have to make everything so hard?” He exploded. His hair looked like it had been struck by electric currents. “Everything- even things that should be simple- are so damn hard with you.”
Elle was breathing so hard, it was as if she had been running. Yet she couldn’t move a muscle as she stared him down. “I make things hard. You mean because I don’t like your biting?” She heard the quiver in her voice, which she hated, but she still couldn’t stop talking. “You mean I’m hard to get off? Is that it?”
She remembered once when he was trying to get her to come. He succeeded, with her coaching him on how hard and fast to touch her, but afterwards he had remarked, “That was a lot of work.”
Adam was again tugging on his own hair. “Yes!” he finally admitted. “I want to make you happy- to please you, but it’s hard-”
“And I guess Bella is easy.” Elle’s voice was coated in sarcasm.
“Yes,” he said, looking her right in the eye, “yes, she is. That’s why I have no interest in a future with her. What do I need to do to prove that to you?”
What did he need to do? Go back in time and push Bella’s half-naked body off his lap with all the strength he could muster. That wasn’t going to happen, though, unless they learned how to build time machines. So what could he do now?
“You could not bite me,” Elle finally said. She resisted the urge to wipe her neck where he’d kissed her. That would be entirely too bitchy to do right in front of him.
Adam let his head fall back in frustration. “Fine! No biting. What else?”
Elle knew what could be better. He could be better, better at everything in terms of sex, but she didn’t feel like dealing with the fallout from that piece of feedback. “I don’t know,” she finally said.
Adam started putting his books away in his backpack. “I’m trying, Elle, I really am.” He was one of the most patient people she knew, but she could see he had been pushed to his limit. “I want to be with you, to get past this.” He pulled on his jacket, zipping it up. “I know I screwed up. This is my fault. I accept responsibility. Whatever I can do to fix this, I will. But at some point, you need to be able to get past this.”
She knew he was right, but his being right didn’t make it any easier to hear. “I’m not going to ‘get past this’ at your demand,” she snapped.
“I’m not demanding-”
“You don’t get to set the timetable here,” she went on. “I’ll be upset for as long as I damn well want to be. I don’t even know if you… and Bella….”
“What? Sleep with Bella?” Adam threw up his hands. “No. All Bella and I do is work on our course project.”
They stared at each other for a long moment before realization dawned for Elle. “That’s the problem,” she said.
“What? Please, just tell me so we can fix this!” Adam sounded like he was ready to donate a kidney if that was what it took.
“I have no way of knowing if you’re telling the truth,” Elle said. That was it. That was the problem. “I can’t trust you.”
Adam looked thoroughly defeated. “How can I prove it to you? Do you want to be with us while we work? You can- you’re welcome to be with us the entire time we’re together.”
Would that satisfy Elle? Did she even want to be in the same room with that whore? She’d be tempted to punch Bella so hard she would probably burst one of her implants. “That’s okay,” she finally relented.
“Then what will it take?” Adam demanded.
How was trust restored? Was time enough?
When it was clear she wasn’t going to answer, he said, “I’m getting out of here.”
“Okay,” she said. She didn’t know what else to say.
Without another word, he left. Elle packed up her books and her laptop, made sure the computers were shut down, and left as well. She couldn’t keep one observation from floating into her mind: it was much nicer hanging out in the lab with Preston.
Chapter 13
Tina and Marni both continued to press Elle to at least flirt with Preston to see if anything came of it, but she held steadfast. First, Elle didn’t know how to flirt. Preston flustered her with regular conversation. Second, she didn’t want to make things awkward with him. She genuinely enjoyed his company and didn’t want to risk that by making him uncomfortable. Besides, if she did apply to the CIA, then getting romantically involved with a current employee probably wasn’t the best thing she could do to help her application. Not that she could explain the employment aspect to Marni and Tina.
Besides, she was still with Adam. They hadn’t broken up and hung out from time to time. He kept trying to get her to come hang out at his place, but she resisted. She just wasn’t sure what she wanted to do, so it seemed best to avoid situations that could become complicated. The truth of the matter was that she still couldn’t get those damn pictures out of her head, no matter how many times Adam told her he didn’t want to be with Bella. He said he was okay with taking things slow and assured her he and Bella were merely working on their class project together. Nothing happened to suggest otherwise. Her working with Preston seemed to have him on high alert. Elle assured him nothing was happening between them but didn’t think it was the worst thing in the world for him to be a little worried.
When eating with Preston, Elle did make it a point to suggest lunch at places slightly farther away from campus just to avoid running into the usual crowd. This was good because they had lunch together nearly every day.
One afternoon when they were deciding on a place to eat, he asked, “Want to try something new?”
Elle nodded. He often drove them to wherever they were going since it was still too cold to walk long distances. Preston drove them to a restaurant in an out-of-the way place. It looked like a mom and pop-type of place with just a few tables. It was dim, and the lighting was low, emulating the soft glow of candlelight.
“Everything I’ve had on the menu has been fantastic,” he promised.
“When did you get the chance to try this place?” Elle asked as she perused the menu. It was Italian food.
“In the evening.” When Elle gave him a questioning look, he shrugged. “Trying out places beats going back to an empty hotel room.”
Elle never thought about wh
at he did in the evenings. He didn’t live there, so he wasn’t going home. “This must be a dull place to be on assignment.”
Preston shrugged. “I keep myself entertained.”
She couldn’t help but smile. She bet he did. “Something tells me you’re good at keeping yourself entertained.”
He smiled back. “I’ve had a lot of practice, but if you want to assist me in that regard, you have an open invitation.”
Just like that, he had her blushing like a silly schoolgirl. “How do you do that to me?” she asked, laughing.
Preston’s innocent look was classic. “Do what?”
She focused on the menu to give her heart rate time to drop back into a normal range. After they placed their orders, Preston asked, “So have you made a decision about grad school?”
Elle sighed. She hadn’t spoken to her father again- nothing unusual about that- but the news of her acceptance forced her to realize she had some choices to make. “My father called in some favors with a contact there,” she said. “He’s an alum.”
Preston shrugged. “Happens all the time.”
Elle nodded. “It kind of limits my options,” she said.
He gave her a questioning look, so she tried to explain. “He’s called in favors. If I don’t go, it’ll make him look bad.”
“Did you ask your father to call in favors?” Preston asked.
“No! That’s what’s so frustrating. I have the grades and the test scores. I didn’t need any strings pulled.” Elle didn’t bother to mask her annoyance.
The server brought around a basket of bread and olive oil, which both of them reached for at the same time, causing their fingers to touch. Elle wondered if Preston really was magnetic: his touch certainly caused sparks.
“Options that are of no interest to you,” Preston said as he dipped his bread in some olive oil, “aren’t really options. They’re just distractions.”
Elle felt almost transfixed as she watched his gleaming teeth tear into the soaked bread slice. She needed to focus on the conversation at hand. “True,” she admitted, letting the olive oil soak into her bread before taking a bite. “But I might want the option to start a business.”
“You don’t need a law degree or MBA to start a business,” he pointed out. Did he have to raise his eyes to meet her gaze? Had he been focused on her mouth? She didn’t think she was seeing things…“You can learn what you need to know,” he finished.
Elle had thought about that. She’d heard of plenty of entrepreneurs who didn’t have advanced- or even college- degrees. Her Careers class made it abundantly clear that her skills were in high demand, whether she wanted to work for someone or open her own consulting firm. She genuinely enjoyed working on her thesis, while neither practicing law nor working in corporate America held any appeal. Could her father accept that?
“It’s just…” she finally sighed. “I’ve been committed to this plan for so long, and now my father’s gone and called in favors…”
Preston studied her for a moment as the server brought their dishes. “Remember how I told you I planned to join the Agency when I was a kid, watching my father?”
Elle nodded, cutting into her eggplant parmigiana.
“In high school, I wasn’t sure I wanted to do what my old man did. Maybe it was time to do my own thing, you know.” Preston sipped some of his drink. “So I enlisted in the Navy.”
Elle stared at him in shock.
Preston shrugged. “I’d always liked the water, but being on a ship got old pretty fast. Luckily you can take college courses on ships,” he laughed. “Then I decided to really challenge myself, so I went to BUD/S.”
All that earned was a quizzical look from Elle.
“Basic Underwater Demolition training,” Preston elaborated. “To become a Navy SEAL.”
Elle’s mouth literally dropped open. Could this guy get any hotter?
“It was the toughest thing I’ve ever done, earning my trident,” Preston said, “but it was something my Dad had never done. Did a few tours and then joined the agency, like I planned. I had to do my own thing, my own way.”
Elle considered this. “But ultimately you stayed committed to your plan.”
“Because,” he said, holding her eyes with one of his intense gazes, “I realized it was what I wanted to do. Not because it was the plan.”
Elle focused on her breathing to avoid choking or doing something else to embarrass herself in front of him. When he got intense it could be hard to think. But she bet Preston always had a room at his parents’ house, no matter what happened. If she tried something and it didn’t work out, she had nothing to fall back on. Except her informatics skills, a tiny voice reminded her.
“I like doing informatics,” she told Preston. “And working for the- the agency would be pretty… different.”
“Actually, it would be a lot like what you’re doing now,” He said. “You’ll just be doing more of it on different projects.” They both ate in silence for a few minutes. “It’s all about finding a good match: with the understanding that nothing is perfect, of course.”
Elle had to remind herself he was talking about career options. For the past year, she had been mentally preparing herself to finally make “the leap” into the “real world.” College had been a wonderful cocoon for her. Going to grad school felt like giving herself a few more years before she had to spread her wings and fly off into the real world- whatever that was- but if she would be doing what she was doing now for the CIA, just different data sets, then that was something to think about. It wouldn’t be quite the major change she was bracing for, but it would definitely be different. She would work on things she couldn’t do anywhere else in the world. And she would be earning a nice paycheck, too: she’d seen the salary ranges. Elle had some more thinking to do.
Chapter 14
Later that evening, Elle stretched as she leaned back into her chair. She had been hunched over her computer for the past several hours, and her back felt it. Tina was on her to do a third yoga class a week to help her “clear her mind” with everything going on, and the suggestion probably wasn’t a bad idea. It couldn’t hurt.
“Ready to call it a night?” Preston asked. The guy was a machine, working long hours without even seeming to get tired. Now that Elle knew he used to be a Navy SEAL, his stamina made sense. He probably really could pull off those feats spies did in movies.
“Yeah, I’m about to go cross-eyed,” Elle said. She stood up, stretching some more.
“Adam’s not coming by tonight?” he asked.
“No,” Elle replied. “He has a project due tomorrow, so he’s probably going to be pulling an all-nighter putting the finishing touches on it.” She knew it was the project with Bella but hadn’t said anything when he told her he’d be busy tonight. He didn’t have a choice about working with her, so there was no use re-opening wounds that weren’t even healed. It wasn’t like she could babysit him. Either she trusted him or she didn’t. She wasn’t sure if she actually did trust him, but she wasn’t going to act like the crazy, jealous girlfriend and demand to be with them when they worked or anything.
“Want to grab a drink?” Preston asked.
For some reason, this struck Elle as being very grown-up: having a drink with a colleague after work. Of course, she was an adult: she was twenty-two, after all, but it didn’t feel the same as when she did it with another student. Well, she was only a few months away from graduation.
“Sounds good,” Elle said.
“I’ve found a great place,” he told her, “but I’ll need to give you a ride there. Maybe it’s because this is a college town, but all the bars right around here serve some pretty watered down drinks. You can try another new place.”
Elle laughed. “It’s never a dull moment with you.” He likely had a point. Realistically, college students kind of took what they could get, especially since a significant number of them were still dependent on fake IDs.
“Of course not,” Preston assur
ed her as he held the door open for her. He stood so close she grazed him as she passed him to leave the lab. The unexpected touch sent a little thrill through her. Was the man literally magnetic? Elle wondered.
The parking lot was located by the library, so the warmest way to get there was to go through the indoor walkways. Since the temps hovered around freezing and it was after dark that was the wisest way to go. Elle led him through the walkways. When they reached the main lobby of the library, Elle decided to stop and use the restroom, so she had Preston wait while she went to the one right off the lobby.
Elle was the only one in there and finishing up when she heard the door open and footsteps.
“He’s being all moody,” one girl said. It didn’t sound like she walked into a stall. “I don’t even know why he’s thinking about her.”
Elle’s heart stopped. Bella.
“Take off your top,” another girl said. “He won’t be thinking about her for long.” They seemed to be congregating at the sinks, in front of the mirrors. Of course Bella and her cronies would be, probably putting the finishing touches on their make-up, as if make-up would help with their studying.
“Did he come over last night?” yet another girl asked.
“No.” Bella heaved a sigh. “I had to go to him. We had a lot of work to do, so we had to meet.”
Adam had had to get to work after they met up for dinner. Elle tried to breathe quietly despite her thumping heart. She remembered her father’s warning about eavesdropping from years ago when she overheard the she-devil he married call her “a hopeless geek”: if she was going to eavesdrop, she needed to be prepared for whatever she might hear. Elle wasn’t prepared to hear what Bella was going to say, but she sure as hell wasn’t walking out of the stall, so she didn’t really have any options.
“How long did he hold out?” girl #2 asked.
“We got some work done first,” Bella said with a laugh. “I have my priorities straight.” The other two snickered. “But then I had my way with him.”
Covert Assignment Page 8
