Elle thought about that. While just over the past week she had begun to question working with the CIA, last night had her wondering again. She managed to outwit two terrorists. Terrorists who looked like they could be her classmates yet were involved in a plot to cause who only knew what. If you had asked her two weeks ago if she could fire a gun, she would have laughed at the thought. Yet she suspected she could with some- okay, a lot- of training. She had done “a great service to her country.” And honestly, while grad school felt safe, it didn’t feel… right.
“Actually, I changed my mind about grad school,” Elle told him.
“Really?” Clark said. He had been working with her since her sophomore year, so he knew her plans. Yet he didn’t look surprised.
“I came to realize,” she said, “I like doing informatics and data analysis. There’s nothing I want to do that requires a law degree or a business degree. When I decided to do go to grad school, I didn’t know anything about information science.”
He smiled at her. “You’re exceptionally talented,” he told her, “so I’m glad to hear that.” His eyes sparkled as he added, “I’m not going to ask where you might work.”
Elle couldn’t stop her mouth from falling open in surprise.
“You’re not the first student I’ve had who’s gone to work for… Anderson Advertising,” Clark told her.
They both burst out laughing.
As Elle walked home, she felt the urge to hurry. She wanted to go ahead, fill out the slip declining her admissions offer, and drop it off in the mail before she changed her mind. Yet she realized she didn’t need to worry about having more second thoughts. Her mind was made up.
Elle briefly wondered if she should wait to see if she heard anything from the CIA about her application. She had a little bit of time before the formal response deadline. It didn’t matter, she realized. No matter what they decided, she didn’t want to go to grad school. She would just have to find another job. She felt a weight lift when she dropped her notification card in the mailbox.
Although she felt at peace with her decision, telling Marni was another issue. The sadness in Marni’s eyes nearly made her tear up.
“I’ve gotta find a roomie,” Marni said.
And that was when it hit Elle. It wasn’t just that she wasn’t going to grad school. She really would have to say good-bye to Marni. The odds of her living in Charlottesville, Virginia were slim to none. Elle reached over and hugged her tight. Marni was so startled she froze for a moment before hugging her back. “I was just kidding,” she said, but Elle didn’t let her go. She couldn’t stop her eyes from welling up.
“Hey, it’s okay, chica,” Marni told her when she saw her teary eyes.
“We’ll really be saying good-bye after graduation,” Elle said.
As the realization hit Marni, her eyes got watery, too. They had known Tina was going to New York after graduation, but the two of them had been planning to stay together, just in a different city. Marni pulled her back into the hug.
“Friends are forever,” she reminded Elle. Elle sincerely hoped so. She may need them more than ever after calling her father.
Chapter 34
Elle again hung up before hitting the “send” button on her cell phone. She needed to make this call, dammit. It was the responsible thing to do. Her father needed to hear about her decision from her before his contact from Virginia called him. She hadn’t asked him to call in any favors, she reminded herself as she again hit his name in her caller list.
This time she hit send.
Her father picked up the phone on the second ring, saying, “Hi Ellie, I don’t have long. What’s going on?”
At least this would be kept short and sweet. Elle took a deep breath and said, “I turned down Virginia’s offer of admission.”
The silence lasted so long Elle wondered if she dropped to call, but she could see the seconds ticking by on her cell. They were still connected, for the moment.
“So where did you decide to go?” her father asked.
“I’m not going to grad school,” Elle said. “Or rather, I’m not going to any more grad school.”
“’Any more grad school’?”
Here went nothing. “This spring, I’ll be getting a master’s degree in Information Science. I got my bachelor’s degree a year and a half ago.”
More silence before her father finally asked, “What in the world is Information Science?” His voice made it sound like she was getting a degree in Plumbing.
“It’s organizing and analyzing data,” Elle said, “especially metadata.” She knew it wouldn’t mean anything to him but hoped the terms would impress him. “I develop algorithms and predictive models to better sort and understand the organization of metadata.”
She explained how it used to be called Library Science, how the discipline had evolved to organizing more than just written words in the Information Age.
“So you’re going to be a Librarian,” her father finally said.
Elle knew snapping at him wouldn’t help anything. “’Librarian’ is an archaic twentieth century term,” she said. “I’ll be an Information Scientist.”
“An Information Scientist.” Disdain practically dripped from his words. “So can you earn a paycheck as an ‘Information Scientist’?”
“Actually, yes,” she said. “Starting salaries average about $70,000 for a master’s degree.”
That shut him up for a good minute. “How do you know about the long-term potential of this career?” he finally asked.
“Technology isn’t going anywhere,” Elle said. “The information it generates will only grow, not decrease.”
“Oh, you can’t know that,” her father snapped. “Do you have a job lined up?”
“I’m waiting to hear back,” Elle said, keeping her voice even with effort. She would not let him get under her skin.
“You’re waiting to hear back,” her father repeated. “Well, let me make one thing very clear, Eleanor. It’s one thing for me to help you while you’re in school, but I will not finance you bouncing around in dead-end jobs trying to ‘find yourself.’ I’ve raised you: it’s time for you to take care of yourself.”
The guy who wouldn’t even let her live in his house was declaring he’d raised her. His gall was astounding. “Help me while I’m in school? You haven’t paid a dime of tuition for me since I came to college!” So much for not letting him get up under her skin.
“What does that have to do with anything? What, you think you’re entitled to the money I would have paid in tuition? Think again, young lady.”
Elle felt her eyes sting. Dammit, he could get up under her skin like no other. “I never asked for it.”
“And if you think you’re coming to live here while you look for a job-”
“Oh, please,” Elle sneered. “You’ve never let me live in your home; I certainly don’t expect you to start now.”
There was an ominous pause. “Eleanor Paquet, you’re too old to be going through some rebellious phase now. This is your future-”
“Yes, my future,” Elle interrupted. “And you’re right, I’m an adult. I have to decide what I want to do, whether you like it or not. Not that it matters anyway. You live your life; I live mine.”
“Be careful what you say to me, Eleanor,” her father warned. “I am your father-”
“Like that’s ever mattered to you when it counted,” Elle snapped and hung up. She had wondered if they would have anything to talk about, like her decision to follow in his footsteps was the basis of their relationship. The truth of the matter was there really wasn’t anything for her to try to hold onto.
Chapter 35
The sun started to shine on a regular basis, the trees began budding, grass began growing, and flowers started to bloom. Spring was normally Elle’s favorite season: not too hot, not too cold, bright green grass and blooming flowers. Most of all it was a time of new beginnings after a cold and dreary winter. Yet this spring was a little differ
ent. New beginnings were on the horizon, but there was also a significant ending as graduation drew closer. It was enough to make her a little weepy, so she had to keep blaming her teary eyes on allergies. While Elle tried to appreciate the end of her time on campus with Marni and Tina, she couldn’t ignore one simple problem. No one was calling her.
She hadn’t heard from the CIA after Henry called to tell her Preston successfully completed the mission. He (and other agents, she assumed) had brought down terrorists rings in Dubai, London, Berlin, Glasgow, and Hong Kong. The FBI found the rings in the United States. Henry told her she would be hearing regarding her application within a few weeks.
Elle didn’t hear a word from Preston. Henry assured her the mission was successfully completed “without incident.” When she asked what exactly that meant, he said, “No injuries or casulties.” So Preston wasn’t injured. The phone number she had for him no longer worked. Many a night she fell asleep imagining she was back in his arms, like that final night they had spent together. He had seemed sincere the next morning about wanting to see her again. Yet he had also made it clear she was free to date or do whatever she wanted, which must mean he was, too. The thought of him dating someone else made her want to hurl her CIA-issued laptop, but she didn’t feel like trying to come up with a rational explanation for destroying it, especially since she was applying for a job with the organization.
She didn’t hear anything more from her father, but a couple of days after her conversation with him, her mother called to ask what in the world was going on. Elle explained. Her mother didn’t seem any more impressed by the idea that she was going to become “a twenty-first century librarian,” as her mother put it, than her father.
“Well, is Adam still going to grad school for computer science?” she asked.
It struck Elle then just how little her parents knew about her life. “We’re not together anymore,” she said.
“What! What happened?” It was the most emotion her mother had shown during their entire conversation.
Elle didn’t even want to get into all of that. “It just didn’t work out,” she said.
“Well, make it work out.” Her mother’s voice took on an uncharacteristically sharp edge. “What else do you have to fall back on if you’re not going to grad school?”
Elle exhaled slowly. Now, with more time on her hand, she had been joining Tina for yoga four times a week. It helped. “I will have a master’s degree this spring-”
“Yes, but you’ll need a real job,” her mother said.
Elle decided to change the topic. “What about graduation?” she asked. “Are you coming or not? I assume Dad’s not: he’s seriously pissed. And Marni could use the extra tickets if you’re not coming.”
There was silence on her mother’s end. “Do you want us to come?” her mother asked.
“What kind of question is that?” Elle asked. “I told you about the tickets, didn’t I?”
“But do you want us to come?” her mother persisted.
“Look,” Elle said, not knowing what her mother was trying to say but not interested in finding out, “if you need to stay in Chicago for Lindsay’s recital, then that’s fine. Marni’s family could use the tickets.”
“Keep the tickets,” her mother said in a firm tone Elle hadn’t heard since she was a little girl, when her mother wanted complete compliance.
Her mother’s insistence about keeping the tickets surprised her a little. She was sure her mother was trying to tell her she wasn’t coming. “Are you coming?”
“Just keep the tickets.”
***
Elle began to realize she needed to think of a back-up plan in case the CIA didn’t offer her a job despite her “great service to the country.” At this point, they had to be making offers to some candidates, and she clearly wasn’t one of them. Her testing had gone well, so it must have been something about the interview that put someone off. Maybe it was for the best: the excitement of being in danger was highly overrated, even if she had managed it well. Next time she might not be so lucky. She asked Clark about leads, who looked puzzled but gave her some names, and began to read everything she could find on how to interview well, which Marni teased her about endlessly. It got to the point whenever she saw Elle leaving in her interview suit, she told her, “Go forge a connection,” and cracked herself up.
It actually wasn’t difficult getting interviews. Information Science skills really were in high demand. Elle had the skills to organize all kinds of data, so she interviewed with companies ranging from medical organizations, like hospitals, to tech start ups who were developing software (her human-computer interaction background worked for that), and even some regular library positions. Between the interviews (which mostly occurred on campus), revising her master’s thesis, and completing her regular coursework, she stayed pretty busy. All of the interviews seemed to go well, so Elle was just left to play the waiting game.
One wonderful day, Elle heard back from two jobs only to be told the positions had gone to other candidates. At least they let her know what was occurring, unlike some… agencies. Getting rejected for something was a new experience, and one she didn’t enjoy. She was used to being the high-achiever who excelled across the board (as long as the activity wasn’t physical).
Marni and Tina took her out for drinks to cheer her up.
“The right job is out there,” Tina assured her.
“Consider the law of averages,” Marni pointed out. “Given how many interviews you’ve been on, there had to be some rejections in there.”
Elle nearly choked on her margarita. “You finally understand averages?”
Marni rolled her eyes as she sipped from her daiquiri. “I listen to you when you geek out. Sometimes.”
Elle joined Tina in laughter. After a few quiet moments, Tina said, “Listen, Elle, we want you to come with us to Europe this summer.”
“If I get a job that starts in the fall, I’m there,” Elle promised. She actually had quite a bit of money saved, but if she was still looking for employment, then she couldn’t blow it on a ten week vacation in Europe.
“We can cover your costs,” Marni said. She continued talking as Elle started shaking her head. “Call it a graduation present! We’ll cover your airfare and the rooms.”
“And the food,” Tina added. “Think of all the food. France, Italy… we’ll cleanse our pallets in London.”
“I couldn’t accept that,” Elle said, “it’s just too much money.” Although if she did accept their offer, she could feed herself…
“Yes, you can,” Marni insisted. “This is big for us, too. It’ll be our last summer.” She knew how sentimental Elle was feeling. Elle suspected Marni was feeling more sentimental than she was letting on but didn’t call her friend on it.
“This summer is our last hurrah,” Tina said. “It won’t be right without you.”
Elle felt her eyes sting. Dammmit, she couldn’t blame it on allergies here in the bar. “You guys…” she felt her throat thicken but cleared it. “I’ll at least join you for some of the time,” she promised. “How much will depend on my employment situation.”
That seemed to pacify them.
“And hey, I haven’t found a roommate yet,” Marni said. “So if you wanted to move to Virginia with me, that works.”
Elle drained her margarita and let the “brain freeze” sensation pass. “I love you guys,” she said.
She was the least demonstrative of the three, so this was a surprise to Marni and Tina. Finally, Marni said, “You are really drunk. Such a lightweight,” which caused both Tina and Elle to laugh.
***
When they got home from drinking, however, Elle broke down and called her mother.
“So, I just wondered if you had decided about the graduation tickets,” she started.
“We’re still trying to work it out,” her mother replied.
“So you want me to continue holding onto them?” It was a moot point: Marni had already se
cured eight extra tickets, so she didn’t need anymore.
“Yes, hold onto them,” her mother said. Her voice didn’t give away anything.
There was a long pause as Elle mentally fortified herself.
“Well, I’m interviewing for jobs,” she said.
Silence.
“They’re going well- the interviews,” she hastened to add. “I’m just not sure when something will actually come through.”
After another pause that almost became physically painful, her mother said, “You know Lindsay’s in your old room now.”
“Yeah, yeah- I remember.” Elle was quick to respond.
After another pause, her mother said, “Ellie, something will come up. You’re a great student coming from a well-regarded university. Something will come up.”
“I know,” Elle agreed. “It’s just when that’s the question.” Another pause. “Something had better come up, I guess.” She forced a brief laugh. Nothing about this conversation was a surprise, but somehow, that didn’t make it any easier. She knew from the time she was a kid that she was the leftovers.
“Listen, Steve was home sick from school today-” her mother started.
Elle allowed her the graceful exit. “Oh, no problem- hope he’s feeling better soon.” She hung up.
Maybe she should sell those damn graduation tickets.
***
Elle was leaving the library one afternoon when someone called out her name. It was Adam. He gave her a genuine smile when she turned around. A tiny part of her still wanted to kick him in the nuts, but a bigger part of her just felt sadness over the loss of their friendship. Then again, she was starting to feel nostalgic about everything these days as she prepared to say good-bye to her home and family of four years. Not knowing where she was going made it even worse.
“Want to grab some lunch?” he asked.
She surprised herself- and him, she suspected- by agreeing. They went to The Purple Pig and got to catch up. It turned out Adam was indeed going to school in Massachusetts.
Covert Assignment Page 16
