He regarded Brodie and saw the indecision on his face. ‘What legacy do you want to leave? The memory of a father who fought and won his freedom? Or a man who abandoned his clan, out of fear?’
Finian MacLachor stared at the fortress of Glen Arrin. Though the main structure was destroyed, there were two rows of outer walls being constructed from stone. The men were already working, and the smoke of outdoor fires blended in the cold air. The winter chill cut through his body, but he felt nothing at all.
His sister had begged him not to war with the MacKinlochs. ‘You can’t be Harkirk’s executioner,’ she’d said. ‘Don’t invoke the wrath of another clan.’
Especially a clan they’d been friends with. Tavin MacKinloch had been like an older brother to him, when they were fostered together. He’d been only a boy, but Tavin had shown Finian how to fish in the lochs, how to hunt and how to charm women into getting what he wanted.
The memory brought an ache of regret. Tavin had been a good man. And though their clans had grown apart with their new chief Donnell, they hadn’t raided one another. It was a respectful distance, one he was about to break.
The chainmail armour he wore was heavy, the icy links frigid against his skin. One hostage was all he needed. Someone close to the chief, perhaps their youngest brother. Or a wife. If he took a captive, the brothers would follow. They would hunt down his prisoner and then he would have all of them. His men could capture the MacKinlochs and take their heads to Harkirk.
Finian closed his eyes, the revulsion rising within him. This was Iliana, his daughter. The girl he adored, his only child. Already he could imagine the horrors Harkirk had brought against her and his blood raged at the thought. But when he’d tried to raise a group of men against the English Baron a sennight ago, the soldiers had cut them down. Finian had been the only survivor.
Harkirk’s message was clear—rise up against me and suffer the consequences.
The MacLachor people now numbered fewer than fifteen. And the only way to save his daughter was to carry out the devil’s work himself.
Moving closer, he dropped near to the ground, keeping hidden. He watched the women and children, searching for the right victim. Regardless of his personal morals, this unholy task had to be done.
And when his gaze fell upon his chosen prisoner, he knew that Alex MacKinloch and his brothers would not hesitate to fight for her. The only question was how to infiltrate the fortress. It would take time.
Time he didn’t have.
Alex rested his hand upon the top edge of the gate house, staring into the distance. The twilight clouds were starting to lift, the mist drifting over the green hills. Brodie and his family had returned to Glen Arrin and it had brought a ripple of change among the people. Although the doubts were still there, he saw them eyeing the fortress in a new way.
He held fast to the hope that they would stand together. Though he believed they could emerge from this crisis stronger than ever, the people had to have faith.
From the valley, he spied a small group of horses. It was Bram and Nairna, returning with Laren. And as they drew closer, he saw a buoyant air of satisfaction in their bearing. Nairna was riding with Bram, while her horse held several bundles of what looked like supplies.
Laren looked uneasy, her gaze lowered to her hands. At the sight of her return, some of his tension eased, knowing that they were safe.
He’d spent most of last night, thinking about her and regretting what he’d said. But damn it all, why couldn’t she trust in him? Why had she felt the need to hide herself and her deeds, as though he would punish her for them?
After the travelling party grew closer, Alex descended the stairs of the gate house, going to greet them. He closed off his troubled thoughts and waited as his wife approached. Laren’s face revealed her own uncertainty as she dismounted, while Nairna had a broad smile upon her face. Bram’s wife was nearly ready to explode with her news, but she grabbed Laren’s hand and pushed her forwards. ‘Tell him!’
Alex looked into Laren’s blue eyes and she admitted at last, ‘We sold the glass. Nairna negotiated one hundred and twenty-five pieces of silver from the monks.’
‘Can you believe it?’ Nairna gushed. ‘The abbot had never seen work like hers before.’ Without giving either of them a chance to speak, she lifted up the sack of coins and added, ‘We stopped to buy more food and supplies for the clan along the way home.’
Nairna’s excitement should have been infectious, but he was more concerned over Laren’s face. She didn’t look as happy as she should.
Alex went to help unload the bundles and Laren joined at his side, her gaze downcast. He walked alongside her, slowing his pace until Nairna and Bram had continued on with the coins. When they were alone, he stopped. ‘Something’s troubling you.’
He waited for her to speak, and Laren lifted her gaze to his. Her expression held worry instead of joy. ‘I’m glad I was able to help the clan,’ she said at last. ‘I was hoping we could sell the glass.’
‘And?’ He waited for her to say more.
‘And I’m not upset about the glass. I’m happy, truly.’ She knotted her fingers together. ‘I’m upset about the way you left me last night.’ Her blue eyes were filled up with emotion, her face struggling to remain passive.
He didn’t know what to say to her. It wasn’t possible to dismiss the deception, for it had revealed a deeper fissure in their marriage. Even Nairna and Bram had known about the glassmaking before him and it bruised his pride to know it.
‘I don’t want us to go on like this,’ she murmured. ‘It hurts too much.’
He didn’t know what she meant by that, but he didn’t like it at all. It sounded as if she’d rather be alone than married to him.
‘I don’t know what I’ve done to make you shut me out,’ he said at last. ‘But you never talk to me. You tell me nothing of your thoughts, nothing of what it is you want.’ He touched her gloved hand and pulled it off, uncovering her scarred hand. ‘I can’t read your secrets.’
‘We don’t know each other any more, do we?’ she whispered, her eyes filling up. ‘It’s not the same as it once was. And I don’t know how to change it.’ She replaced the glove he’d removed and pulled the edges of her cloak around her.
She was right. Ever since David’s death, they’d become different people. They’d grown distant, leading separate lives within their marriage.
When she’d been shot with the arrow, it had been the awakening he’d needed. He’d let the years slip away from him, along with his wife. And he didn’t want that.
‘We should go back,’ Laren murmured. ‘It’s late, and I don’t want to leave Vanora with the girls for too long.’
Alex pulled back, uncertain of whether she was truly worried about the children or whether she didn’t want to be alone with him.
‘Before I take you back, I need to know something.’
Laren waited in silence, and he reached down for the nerve to speak the words he didn’t want to voice. ‘I know you never wanted to be Lady of Glen Arrin. But I can’t change my responsibilities as chief.’
She gave a nod, waiting for him to continue.
‘You’re not happy here,’ he stated. ‘Not with me. Not in this life.’
A tear spilled over from her eyes and, inside, he felt an answering emptiness. Alex kept his hands upon hers, demanding an answer. ‘Do you want to remain married to me, Laren?’
She was quiet for a long moment. It dug into his heart and he was afraid he already knew what she would say.
Instead, she answered, ‘I don’t know.’
The misery in her eyes left him without anything to say, hurting him worse that he’d imagined it could.
And with that, she took long steps, leaving him behind.
Laren didn’t know what the right decision was any more. Her heart bled, for in spite of everything, she did love him. But she sensed that Alex was the one who wanted to end their marriage. He must have thought about it, to even voice t
he question.
The truth was, she didn’t want to be apart from him. Not at all. But he ought to have a wife who could lead at his side, someone confident and a helpmate.
Now that her glass had sold, she would be spending more time than ever with the furnaces. It would take months to make the pieces she needed. And after seeing Alex’s reaction last night, she didn’t believe he would support her decision. She simply didn’t fit his vision of a wife.
During the past three years, he hadn’t been the husband she’d needed, either. When they’d faced the worst moment of their lives, he’d abandoned her, leaving her to grieve alone. She resented the fact that he spent every moment with the clan instead of with her and their girls.
Laren wiped at her cheeks, reaching deep for the courage to mask her emotions. When her girls saw her, she didn’t want to answer any questions about why she was crying. Footsteps trailed her, but she didn’t look behind. She was too busy trying to hold back her feelings, to keep herself in control.
A hand caught her arm and spun her. She collided with Alex, who locked her in his arms. He looked furious, his jaw tight. ‘What do you mean, you don’t know?’
She was so shocked by his sudden behaviour that she couldn’t speak at first.
His hands came up to her face, threading his fingers into her hair. ‘After all these years, you don’t believe our marriage is worth fighting for?’ In his eyes, she saw a fire that hadn’t been there before. It rekindled her courage and she took his hands in hers.
‘It’s worth fighting for, aye. But I’m not the same woman you married, years ago. I’ll never be that girl again, because a part of me is buried on the hillside by the loch.’ She let go of the tears then, gripping his palms tightly. ‘I can’t be shaped and forced into the woman you want me to be.’
She stripped away her gloves, letting them fall to the ground. ‘This is who I am, Alex.’ She let go of his hands, but remained in his arms.
‘I never asked you to be someone else.’ His breath was warm against her face and he was fighting to let her speak. ‘But I don’t know who you are now.’
‘Do you want to?’ she whispered.
His dark eyes transformed with an intensity she never expected. ‘Aye.’ He leaned in, as though he were about to kiss her. But his mouth hovered a breath above hers. ‘But there can be no more lies between us, Laren.’
‘And you need to spare a few moments of your time for us,’ she finished. ‘Instead of coming home late at night, when we’re asleep.’
Against her ribs, his palms slid down, as if to determine whether or not her wound had healed. Her cheeks grew warm, her body responding to his heat.
‘We’re not through talking about this,’ Alex murmured against her lips. When he broke away, she felt a building sense of anticipation. ‘We have to join the others. But tonight, you’re going to show me your glassmaking. I want to know everything you’ve kept from me.’
She didn’t speak, feeling shaken. She hoped that this would be a new start for them, that they could somehow heal what had been lost. The wind drifted against her skin in a cold whisper, and he released her, leading the way back to the fortress.
Inside the gates, Alex struggled to mask the response Laren had evoked. He was dimly aware of the women’s excitement as Nairna showed them the food she’d bought with Laren’s silver coins, along with a few ells of cloth. Bram had taken the remainder of the money into his own safekeeping, and they intended to keep it hidden from the others until they’d traded and purchased what else they needed.
Laren murmured words to him about seeing to their daughters and disappeared from his side. Alex stood back from the rest of the clan, absorbing the transformation. Though he was thankful for the change in their fortune, he had to decide what to do about it now.
Bram leaned in to speak to Nairna and his wife nodded, handing him a large flagon. A moment later he approached, offering Alex the container. ‘Nairna and I wanted to offer this wine to you and Laren to share this night.’
‘Your wife sent you to do her matchmaking, did she?’
‘You’d be right.’ Bram handed him the flagon. ‘I don’t know if Laren told you, but the abbot has commissioned her to build more windows for their new kirk. He’s promised one hundred and fifty pieces of silver.’
Alex couldn’t find the words to form a reply, he was so taken aback by the amount. Never in his wildest imaginings could he have foreseen that the glass would have such value.
‘She’ll have to begin work on the windows immediately,’ Bram said. ‘But for this night, Nairna and I both thought you should enjoy your own celebration.’
‘There’s no need for wine,’ Alex said automatically.
A slight twitch formed at the edge of Bram’s mouth. ‘But drink loosens the tongue, doesn’t it? And Laren’s not the sort to say much.’
Alex eyed his brother, understanding breaking through him. ‘I asked her to meet me at Father Nolan’s cavern.’
‘Nairna and I will watch over your girls.’ Bram sent his brother a conspiratorial smile. ‘And I’ll make certain your wife joins you this night.’
Laren’s stomach was tying itself into knots of anxiety with every step she took towards the loch. Bram had offered to escort her there, but she’d refused. She didn’t know what Alex wanted from her this night, but she was prepared to do as he wished.
She followed the curve of the water, avoiding the white stone on the hillside. A thin layer of ice coated the edges and she used the moonlight to guide her path. When she reached the far side, she saw the cavern illuminated from the glow of the furnaces.
Alex was already waiting at the entrance. His hair was darker, wet as if he’d washed in the loch. The tunic he wore was a fresh one, a muted blue that she’d sewn a few months ago.
He extended a hand to her and she entered the cavern, feeling anxious about his intentions this night. Upon the floor, she saw that he’d spread a woollen blanket over the earth floor. He poured two cups of wine and handed her one. Laren drank far too quickly, needing the liquid courage. The sweet wine had a light flavour, one she’d never tasted before.
‘It’s from Burgundy,’ Alex told her.
Laren slowed down as she drank more of the wine and felt its warmth permeating her body. ‘It’s good.’
He poured her another cup, then pointed toward the furnaces. ‘I sent Ramsay home. He warned me not to let the fires go out.’
‘He’s very particular about his work.’ She noted that he’d set out several melts, some of which were ready to be blown. She removed her mantle and adjusted the ties in her hair, binding it away from her face.
‘Some have said that he’s…different from the others.’
From the way her husband hesitated, Laren understood what he meant. She walked over to check on the crucible of green molten glass. ‘He is. The boys tease him because he often will become obsessed with a small detail.’ She smiled, remembering the first time she’d met him. ‘He’ll spend hours, counting to himself until he knows it’s time for the crucible to go inside the furnace. He has a brilliant mind, but most people don’t understand him. They think there’s something wrong with him, because he chooses to be alone.’
When her husband’s expression sharpened upon her, Laren hid her discomfort. ‘But he’s done well as my apprentice.’
Alex walked over to examine some of the pieces of green glass she’d cut. He picked one up and held it to the light, but said nothing about it. Laren set several pipes into one of the furnaces to preheat. When she was finished, she turned back to her husband. In the faint light of the fires, his features were arresting. Dark eyes stared into hers and he made her uncomfortable. ‘Bram told me about the commission.’
She took a breath and faced him. ‘I’m going to make the windows. The clan needs the silver.’
‘Do you want to make them?’
‘More than anything,’ she replied. She willed herself to take a step closer to him and he led her to sit across from hi
m on the blanket.
For a time, he simply looked at her, and the only sound was the pop of the firewood as it cracked and burned. She waited for him to speak, prepared for his anger.
Instead, he reached down to the earthen floor and chose a handful of small pebbles. He rolled them between his fingers, then he reached out to place them in her palm.
‘What are these for?’
‘I used to throw these at your home at night. To awaken you,’ he said.
She fingered the tiny stones, remembering. ‘I hardly slept on the nights when I knew you were coming to meet me.’ When she looked at her husband, she couldn’t read his features, couldn’t understand why he’d given her such a token.
She opened her palm and returned the stones to him. ‘What are you doing, Alex?’
‘I told you I didn’t know who you were any more.’ His dark eyes hid any feelings he might have had. ‘So I thought we should start at the beginning.’
The words reached inside her and touched a part of her heart that had been cold for so long. He was right. If they wanted to rebuild any part of their marriage, they had to start again. Laren let the stones fall back to the sandy floor of the cavern and rose to her feet. She walked to the entrance of the cavern, bringing the blanket with her.
Alex followed and she laid the blanket on the ground, lying down to look up at the night sky. ‘Do you remember when we used to go to the stone circle and look at the stars?’
He stretched out beside her, his body only a hand’s distance from hers. ‘Some nights were freezing.’
‘Like tonight,’ she agreed. When he didn’t move, she slid closer to him until they lay side by side, the heat of his body warming her. For long moments, they stared up at the sky, although there were no stars visible.
As the moments drifted by, her heartbeat seemed to quicken. She was aware of his strength and his masculine power. Would he pull her close and kiss her, the way he once had? But instead, he remained quiet. She studied him with a sidelong look, noticing the way his face held years of tension. Whether it was the burden of leadership or frustration with her, she didn’t know.
Seduced by Her Highland Warrior Page 9
