by Vivian Wood
I sniffle and blot at my eyes with my mittens, feeling like I've lost everything that I ever held dear. I turned off my phone the second that I left Lars’s place. The thing is that I know him pretty well and I think that he would have forgiven me eventually.
But I can't be a part of his life.
Not if my part in it is to be a marionette, my strings being pulled by his grandmother. Not in exchange for my sister being tied up in all of this.
I'm not even sure what I'm going to do now. Maybe I will go back to France. Or England, I guess.
There's no way that I can stay in Copenhagen and not see Lars every single place that we've ever been, or at least the memory of him.
I shiver and pull the edges of my coat closer around me. I have no job. I have no boyfriend or fiancé. My best friends are both entangled with the royal family.
There's nothing left here for me.
Inhaling a shaky breath, I blow it out in a long stream. It clouds in the air, hanging for a moment. I hear the crunch of gravel.
Whirling, I watched as a huge black SUV comes climbing up the snowy driveway. My heart starts racing. Could it be that Lars has tracked me down?
I push down the hope that rises in my chest. Even if he does get out of the car, even if I do see his face, even if I want him so badly I don't know what to do with myself…
That doesn't fix or solve anything at all. It would only prolong our mutual sadness.
The car comes to a stop. I head across the porch to watch as the back doors open on both sides of the car. And then I see Margot's face.
The Queen of Denmark is here to see me. My eyes fill with tears. I cover my mouth with my hands, almost missing that little blonde Nika follows Margot up the last few feet of the driveway. They both look chilled to the bone despite wearing layers and layers of clothing.
Margot locks eyes with me and sees that I am crying. She burst into a run, trotting up the steps to where I am standing. She doesn't ask questions, she doesn't say anything. She just barrels into me, wrapping her arms around me.
A ragged sob leaves my lips, unable to be controlled the longer. I've been so miserable these past four days and seeing her is bittersweet. After all, she essentially is the royal palace personified.
But mostly, I look at her and see the same girl that I met when I was a freshman in college, figuring out my roommate situation. She looks almost the same as she did then, only now she pulls back, brushes back my hair, and looks at me sternly.
“Where have you been?” she lectures. “Do you know that I had to pull all kinds of strings and track your credit card to find you? I'm not even sure what I did was technically legal.”
Nika comes to stand next to me, throwing an arm around me. She smiles brightly at me. “You got her all riled up. You should've heard her talking about you in the car. She was pissed.”
I wipe my eyes, apologetic. “I'm so sorry, Margot. Both of you. I just… I don't have a good reason. I'm just pathetic right now.”
Nika shivers. “Let's go inside. We can talk about how wrong you are until we're blue in the face but I personally do not want to be out here for a second longer.”
I huff out a watery laugh. “Of course. I lead the way into the house, holding the door open for Margot and Nika. I feel like a fool as I usher them in, taking their coats and telling them to make themselves welcome. I rush to take off my coat and am a little bit self-conscious because my normally carefully chosen outfits are still in Lars's closet. I'm wearing what I could pick up from the ski lodge's store: a long sleeve T-shirt and a pair of ski pants. I see Nika look at my outfit was some surprise but luckily she is a good friend that she doesn't say anything.
I flush as I hurry into the kitchen. “Do you want tea?” I call. “You guys like tea, right?”
Nika settles in on the couch, her expression disapproving. “We want answers. That’s what we want.” Margot turns to her and gives her a look. She stands up, putting her hand over her belly. I realize that she has actually started to show.
For some reason, that actually makes me cry all over again. I have a mini breakdown over the sink, crying as I fill the kettle. Margot comes up behind me and hugs me, slipping her arms around my rib cage. She rests her cheek against my back.
I can't help but love her. It seems so unfair that among all the things that I am about to miss, I'm going to miss out on Margot and Stellan's first child. I may get a picture now and then, but I won't really know him or her. It won't be the same.
“Do you want to tell us what happened?” Margot murmurs. “Lars just said that you got into an argument with his grandmother. Which let me say, I have been there personally.”
Nika calls out. “Margot's too nice to say that she's a bitch, but my grandmother is definitely a bitch.”
I wrinkle my nose. “I hate that word. Let’s just say that she is… a monster.”
I wipe my eyes and sniff a little. Margot steps back and I turn around, drawing in a shaky breath.
“What else did Lars tell you?” I ask, my eyes going from Margot to Nika.
“He said something about how you said you weren’t who you claim to be or something? Honestly, it was pretty hard to follow. At the time that he was telling me, he was technically on a run and he was pretty out of breath.”
“Ja, it's been hard to get him on the phone even.” Margot wrinkles her nose. “He's been very distraught since you disappeared from his apartment. So?”
“Ja, spill the beans. Tell us everything.”
Margot takes the tea kettle from my hand, setting it aside and guiding me back to the living room. I sit down on the couch and suck in a breath. “I don't even know where to start. It's all so confusing and sort of fucked up and…”
Nika leans forward, putting her hand on my knee. “I'm gonna need you to stop talking like that. I feel like you are editorializing a lot and making yourself look as bad as possible when I just want the facts. Okay?”
My cheeks turn pink. “Sorry.”
Margot sits down on the other side of me and sighs. “I'm also going to need you to stop apologizing. Weren’t you the one that told me that when I first met you? You told me that I apologize too much. I want you to take some advice from yourself.”
I run a hand over my face. “Ja. Ja, okay. It just… It involves some deception. Of Lars, but of you guys too. So be prepared for that, I guess.”
I tell the story of the fake engagement, of Mrs. Olson and her demands, and of Lars's grandmother in as few words as possible. I try not to editorialize, as Nika called my derogatory view of things.
When I'm done, I look at Nika and Margot, trying to read their expressions. Nika just looks vaguely confused. Margot on the other hand looks furious. I don't really know how to deal with furious Margot, so I steel myself.
“Are you telling me that Stellan's grandmother knew who you were the entire time? That she threatened you, Lars, and your sister because of some… some gossip?”
I pause, not sure how to answer that for a second. I wasn't really expecting her to be angry with anyone but me in this scenario. “Um? Ja, I guess I am telling you that.”
Nika up pipes up. “That is so fucked up. I can't believe that Momse would do that.” She scrunches her face up. “Well, I can believe it, I just don't want to. That makes me so mad.”
Margot shakes her head. “My question is where Lars fits into this picture. Because I don't think that he is so upset with you that he is never going to speak to you again. I think that he would really like to know where you are and to be allowed to come here.”
I sit back on the couch, shaking my head. “I know. He's way too forgiving for his own good.”
“Lars?” Nika asks. “I don't think that forgiving is among the top fifty adjectives that you would use to describe my brother. I do however think that he is more understanding than you give him credit for. You didn't even really talk about it. You just like told him what happened and then he was super confused and he went for a run and…” She makes
a gesture. “You were gone.”
Margot touches Nika's arm, letting her know that she's said enough about that.
Margot looks at me. “Why did you run away?”
I swallow against the lump in my throat. “Because I know that the royal family can't forgive what I did. They can't forgive me not telling them the truth about my identity. They can't forgive my father or what he did.”
Margot squints at me. “I think it would be a mistake to equate everyone's personal feelings with the amount of forgiveness that you receive from the royal family. Also, I think that you overestimate Stellan's grandmother's power. Whether she likes it or not, Stellan and I have been making decisions mostly on our own. She's losing a lot of her steam these days.”
I bite my lip, glancing between Nika and Margot. “If you are here to talk me into going back, you are mistaken. Lars is better off without me. He's better off finding a girl that he can settle down with that will not create as much political drama as I will. As soon as that story comes out…”
Nika cuts me off. “It's been out for three days.”
I don't quite know what to say to that. I flush and cover my eyes and with my hand, shaking my head. “Of course it has. Because the royal press office has absolutely zero chill.”
“I just talked to Stellan this morning about how I was going to try to find you and make you come back with me. He didn't seem opposed to it. I think that you spent fifteen years waiting for the other shoe to drop, thinking that you did something terribly wrong. And you didn't. I mean… Maybe it wasn't on the up and up, but it really wasn't that bad.” Margot scrunches her face up.
“And you were a child,” Nika adds. “You didn't have that much of a say in whether or not you started a new life or not.”
Margot nods. “Ja. Everybody is on your side. Everybody that is not Stellan's grandmother, of course.”
“Who sucks, by the way,” Nika says.
I give my head a tiny shake. “I'm so glad that you guys came up here. I am glad that Lars is okay. But I'm not going back. I can’t.”
Margot and Annika look at each other, Margot sighing. She cast an eye over my outfit, looking me up and down. “Do you have any more comfy clothes?”
“Well, I have the ski shop right down the street,” I hedge.
Margot looks at me, dead serious. “I will need to go hit that store up. Because I'm not coming back without you. So if I have to get comfortable, that's what I'll do.”
Nika pulls out her cell phone and starts scrolling through this screen. “I'm ordering new clothes for all of us as we speak. One of my assistants is going to drive them here. No arguments.”
I cross my arms, frowning at both of them, and get ready to make my case.
36
Lars
I am glowering as I stare down the length of the polished dining room table, pushing my cheek out with my tongue. At the other end of the table is Momse, looking quite tense. I make a gesture, ready for her to start explaining herself.
“So? The papers have got Pippa's story. I believe that you have been working behind the scenes and pulling the strings, whatever you need to do to make Pippa look bad. How can you defend yourself?”
She looks affronted. “Lars, I think if you just put aside your attachment to Pippa, you'll see that she was never the right girl for you anyway…”
I slam my hand down on the table, my eye twitching. Momse looks at me, her eyes widening just a little bit. “There's no call for that, is there?”
I ignore that. “So you essentially have no justification for your actions. Blackmailing my fiancée, bullying her, driving her out of Copenhagen… This is all part of your plan?” I shake my head, disgusted. “The only reason I even agreed to this meeting today was to give you one last chance to explain yourself.”
My grandmother stands up from her chair, walking over to the window. “I know that it seems like I'm intruding. But really, I have to make sure that my grandchildren have the best chances for continuing the royal bloodline. I went wrong with Stellan. Annika got away from me too. So you are my third attempt at trying for the best outcome.”
She shrugged, turning and looking at me innocently. “You can't blame me for wanting to make sure that everything goes right. And I knew the second that you said that you were engaged to Pippa that she couldn't make you happy. Not really, not in the long run.”
I raise for my chair, sighing. “Well, it doesn't matter now.”
A little smile crosses her mouth. “No, I suppose it doesn't. With Pippa gone, we can focus on finding you a more suitable girl.”
I shake my head. “No, you misunderstand me. It doesn't matter anymore because you are kicked out of the royal family. I'm not sure exactly how I'm going to do it or by what means, but you have meddled with not just one, not just two, but three serious relationships. Luckily your grandchildren are stronger than you think and we all see what you done… But you have caused so much chaos and turmoil between the Løve siblings and those that we are partnered with. It's time that you retire from royal life and go live out your remaining years in solitude. Somewhere far away from Copenhagen.”
She lifts her chin and scoffs. “You don't have the authority to do anything like that.”
I give her a cool little smile. “Enjoy the last days of your royal reign. Because I have Stellan on my side and now it's just a matter of figuring out how to strip you of your title and remove you from our ranks.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “You wouldn't.”
I make my way toward the door, my hands still punched into fists. “I've already done it. This is just a courtesy, letting you know that it's already been done. So with that, I feel like we have nothing left to say to each other. Goodbye, Momse.”
I pull the door open, stepping outside. I hear Momse’s plaintive voice, trying to pull me back in.
“Lars… Lars! You can't do this…”
I march down the palace halls, heading for Stellan's office. I knock on his door.
“Come in,” he calls.
I enter his little study, finding him and Erik sitting on the long couches that bracket the fireplace. Stellan raises a brow at me.
“Was it good? Do you feel remotely better now that you finally told Momse to fuck off?”
I walk to the same couch as Stellan, collapsing on it with a sigh. “I think it would've felt good if I didn't have so much else to worry about. Is there any word about Pippa's location?”
Erik squints toward the window. “I think if you really wanted to find her, you probably could. There are ways. But the question is, does she want to be found?”
“And what are you going to do with her once you find her?” Stellan chimes in.
I blow out of breath. “That's a good question. All the papers have pictures of Pippa plastered across the covers, with headlines that call her a liar and a fallen princess. I think that she was at least partially right in the fact that she shouldn't hold her breath, waiting for the royal family to forgive her for her sins.”
“Can I make a suggestion? Retire from public life.” His gaze slides to Stellan. “I know that you like having Pippa around to do some handwaving, but I think if you allow him to retire from public life, he can still get married eventually.”
Stellan grunts. “I think he is right. As much as it pains me to say it, I don't think that we can have you being married to Pippa and still be a member of the royal family. You'll still receive your inheritance, I think. But you would not represent us anymore.”
He shrugs. Erik nods his head.
I take a deep breath, sighing loudly. “I hate that I have to be worried about what I feel is something too advanced for our relationship. Like, I think that in the normal course of things, we wouldn't even mention marriage. But I got the ball rolling by fake proposing to her…”
“I'm still mad at you about that, as an aside.” Stellan jabs his finger at me.
“Get in line. There's nothing that you can say that I probably haven't thought myself
.”
“What are you going to do to win her back?” Erik asks again. “You need to figure out the grand gesture. Something that will make her realize how much she needs you in her life. Because I guarantee you right now, she is doing the math and sorting out whether you are worth it.”
I shoot him a glare. “I hadn't really thought about it. I'm just focused on finding her.
Stellan fishes his phone out of his pocket, frowning at the screen. “Well, it looks like the girls found Pippa. I don't know how, but I'm glad that Pippa is safe and sound.”
I blow out a breath. “She's all right? Where is she?”
Stellan looks up at me. Margot says that the three of them are talking things through. So if I tell you, I need you to promise that you are not going to just immediately rush over there. I know it's been a few days, but Pippa needs some reinforcement from her lady friends.”
I give him a droll look. “I promise.”
“She's up at a ski cabin about an hour north of here. Margot said that you would know which one.”
My eyebrows rise with surprise. “That's where she went?”
“Maybe she felt like getting her exercise in every day,” Erik jokes.
I shoot him a cool look. “That's the place we were staying when we first hooked up.”
Stellan quirks a brow. “Wait, was that not just a couple of months ago?”
My neck heats. “Ja, we might've lied about some stuff. We didn't start fucking until we were already fake engaged.”
Stellan shakes his head. “You really are a bastard, do you know that?”
“Wait, wait,” Erik cuts in. “That doesn't really answer the question of what you're going to do to prove to Pippa that you are the only choice for her.”
Eager to get away from talking about my past deceptions, I latch onto that question.
“I should propose again. I mean, for real this time.”
Erik shakes his head at me. “That's obvious enough. But how should you do it?”
