And that’s when Dad’s cell phone rang.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Oh hi, Shelly,” Dad said when he picked up the phone.
Uh-oh. Shelly was Mrs. Bresner’s first name. I searched my brain frantically for friends and family members called Shelly but came up with nothing. Zilch.
“They did WHAT?” Dad glanced over at me, then at Mom.
Mom started asking questions, but Dad shook his head, holding out his hand to tell her to wait. Oh, the agony, pure agony, of being stuck on the bed listening to my parents’ reactions. I tried to slink away, but there was nowhere to go except for the bathroom, and Mom caught me by the wrist when I attempted to get up.
Dad listened for a few minutes, then said, “Yes, yes, of course. Thank you so much for calling. See you tomorrow.”
Dad clicked the End button on his phone and dropped it on the table. Then he turned to me. “That was Mrs. Bresner.”
“I know.”
“Looks like there’s more to this story than you told us,” Dad said, his voice amazingly calm. “Would you like to tell your mother what you were up to this afternoon or shall I?”
“Out with it already!” Mom said. “What’s going on, Emily?”
I shrugged, looking down at my hands in my lap. “I can’t believe Katherine told them.”
“The girls took a cab to a park in Guangzhou today,” Dad said.
Mom reacted the same way Dad had when he heard the news. Her eyes grew wide and all she could say was, “WHAT?”
“Katherine asked me to help her! I couldn’t turn her down, I just couldn’t!”
Mom took in a deep breath then exhaled. “What did you help her do?”
“She wanted to find her birthmom, but the Bresners wouldn’t let her look. So, I helped her put up a letter at her finding spot so that one of her relatives will see it.”
Silence. For a minute, maybe two, there was complete silence. What was Katherine thinking, tell her parents? She had begged me to keep her secret and the first time she was cornered, she spilled everything. Not only that, but she’d taken me down with her.
I sat there waiting for my parents to yell and hand out more punishments. But when Mom spoke, her voice was quiet. “What did she say in her letter?”
“That she wanted to meet them. I don’t know what it said exactly because she wrote it in Mandarin.”
“Oh, Emily.” Mom shook her head. I had no idea what she was thinking but at least she didn’t sound like she wanted to kill me. “That’s a pretty serious thing, looking for your birthmom. And in China, it’s nearly impossible to make contact. That’s probably why the Bresners discouraged her from looking.”
I looked up at my mom then, looked her straight in the eyes. “If Mei Lin wants to find her birth family when she’s older, you should let her do it.”
“Honey, that’s a totally different issue—”
“No, it’s not! Katherine’s parents should have helped her. It used to be impossible, but not anymore. Katherine did a lot of research, and there’ve been stories of girls who’ve found moms, dads, grandparents, sisters and brothers! Mei Lin has another family out there, and someday she’s going to find them. She’ll have questions, too.” I glanced over at Mei Lin sleeping away in her crib, and I lowered my voice. “You won’t be able to tell her about when you were on bed rest. You won’t be able to tell her what time she was born, or how much she weighed. You don’t even know the real day she was born.”
“You’re right.” Mom reached out and squeezed my hand, then released it. “Mei Lin will struggle with some of the same things Katherine is struggling with.” Mom paused. “But Emily, we would be very upset if she goes out and starts searching for her birthmom without telling us, the way Katherine did. You should have come to us. You always have in the past.”
“But I couldn’t! I made a promise to Katherine. You would have told her parents, and she wouldn’t have been allowed to go. I was the only person who could help her—she was counting on me!”
Mom pulled her lips together and didn’t say anything.
“You know what I think?” Dad said. “I think we all need a break. We could talk about this until we’re blue in the face.” Dad turned to Mom. “We can discuss this later, when we have some time alone and can talk about this calmly.”
Mom nodded.
“In the meantime,” Dad said, “who wants to check out the Thai restaurant up the street? I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m starving!”
I shrugged. I hadn’t eaten anything since my lunch of peanut butter crackers, which seemed like days ago, but I wasn’t sure how I’d swallow down a dinner with my stomach in knots.
Mom forced a smile. “Sounds good,” she said. “Let me change Mei Lin and then we’ll be ready to go.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Guangzhou, China, Day 9, 4/11/14
Dear Diary,
Well, things have really fallen apart over here. I’ll start with the good news: 1) Katherine posted her letter at her finding spot! Hopefully her birthmom will see it and will call her while we are still in China.
2) I decided not to tell Katherine’s story for the contest. Maybe I’ve messed up my chances of winning, but at least I don’t feel like my insides have been tied in a knot that tightened every time I thought about what I was doing. Katherine deserves a true friend helping her for the right reasons.
Okay, so that’s it for the good news! Here’s the bad:
1) We got caught coming back and told some more lies to try to cover things up.
2) Katherine spilled last night, and I am in the biggest trouble of my life. I am still waiting to hear what my sentence is, but I can tell it’s not going to be anything good.
After Mrs. Bresner called last night, my parents somehow got themselves together, acting like everything was normal while we ate at the Thai restaurant up the street. We didn’t talk about what happened, instead focusing on Lisa Wu’s plans for tomorrow. But I wasn’t even listening. I was too worried about what was in store for me and I tossed and turned all night.
Mei Lin woke me up at 5:30 like usual. I could hear her squealing and moving around, and when I took the blankets off my head, she was standing at the edge of the crib, staring at me. Even though I was worried about what my parents had decided about my fate, I couldn’t help smiling when I saw her.
Well we’re off to the buffet for breakfast, where for the first time since we got here, I’ll get a hefty dose of punishment along with my waffles.
Love,
Emily (a liar and a sneak but a good friend)
A little while later we were seated at a round table at the White Swan that overlooked the Pearl River. I could see people swimming off in the distance and a man on a barge floated right past the window like he did every morning when we were eating at the buffet. Dad had explained the man was cleaning the river, digging up seaweed and kelp and piling it on his wooden raft.
“So, we had a long talk last night after you went to sleep,” Dad finally said. I don’t know how they managed that since it seemed I was up half the night. “I know we waited a long time for Mei Lin, and we didn’t want to keep talking about it because we just weren’t sure what was going to happen. There have been so many changes in the system since we put our application in and we knew there was a chance that adoptions in China could shut down altogether. We thought about switching to the Waiting Child program—”
“Why didn’t you?” I asked.
“We considered it,” Mom said. “You saw me looking at photos on the computer, remember? I explained about the Waiting Children, and how we could travel to China much sooner if we wanted to.”
“Those babies deserve a chance too,” I said, and as I said the words I realized how close Mei Lin was to a Waiting Child herself. If we hadn’t adopted her, she might have been moved to the other program if she didn’t gain enough weight, if she was a little behind with learning to walk and talk. “Some of them are going to grow up in an orphanag
e and never get a family of their own.”
Mom’s eyes filled and she put her hand over mine. “Your dad and I had a lot of long conversations. But in the end, we had to do what we felt was best for our family. And when the referral came, we were so thrilled it was finally happening that we didn’t take the time to see how you were feeling about all of it. That was wrong of us.”
I nodded and looked down at my waffles.
“Becoming a big sister has been a big change for you,” Dad continued. “You’ve always been a go-with-the-flow kind of child,’ and you seemed excited about the China trip. But, we got a little caught up in the whirlwind and somehow we missed the signs that you needed to process what was happening. And not just the fact that we’d be on a plane for twenty-one hours and would travel to a foreign country.”
I didn’t say anything, just spread the syrup around on my waffle.
“Your dad and I have wanted another child for a long time. You probably don’t remember this, but we tried to have another baby when you were younger. I had two miscarriages, and after that, we decided ’to look into international adoption.”
I bit my lip. A hazy memory floated into my head. When I was around four, Mom brought the crib back into my room, telling me I was going to be a big sister. There was a trip to the hospital, Mom sick in bed afterward . . . and after a while, the crib was taken apart and moved back to the attic.
“We’ve always dreamed of having two daughters,” Dad said. “And now we do.”
I glanced up at Mei Lin, who squealed and dropped her spoon into the bowl of steamed egg so that it splattered up into the air.
“We thought the trip to China would be a great experience for you,” Dad said. “I know we promised to do a lot of fun things on the trip, but we forgot how much time would be spent doing paperwork in government offices. We also forgot how exhausting it can be taking care of a new baby. Your mom and I aren’t exactly spring chickens, you know!”
“Speak for yourself,” Mom said, shooting Dad a look.
I squirmed in my seat. Everything was getting all twisted up and I didn’t know what to say. “The trip to China has been great,” I said. “It’s been different than I expected, that’s all.”
“We know your heart was in the right place when you decided to help Katherine,” Mom said. “You’ve learned much more than we could teach you about what it means to adopt a baby from China. You’ve been thinking of things beyond the surface, the way we always hoped you would, and we’re proud of you for that.”
I looked at Mom, then Dad, who was nodding in agreement. Did that mean they’d changed their mind about additional consequences? Were they going to let the whole thing go because of complicated circumstances? Just when I got my hopes up, Mom continued.
“But even though you were trying to do the right thing, we still have to consider your behavior. You put yourself and your friend in danger, and you didn’t tell us the truth about a number of things.”
“So, we’ve made a decision.” Dad cleared his throat. “Your mother and I have decided not to let you enter the photojournalist contest this year.”
My heart dropped to my knees. “But—but—why not?” I managed to spit out. I’d been thinking about all the photos I could take during the rest of our time in China, and I knew I could win the contest with Plan B. All my dreams about getting the scholarship and proving to my parents that I was a serious photojournalist were disappearing into thin air. Poof! “You already took Nana’s camera. You can ground me all summer, but please please let me enter the contest!”
Dad shook his head. “I’m sorry, Emily. We hate to do it, but we feel it’s the only way you’ll understand that you didn’t just bend the rules a little. In this case, you seriously broke them.”
I threw my napkin down on my plate and flopped back in my seat.
“We have five days left in China,” Mom said. “Let’s try to make the most of it, okay?”
I blew air out of my mouth, trying to keep my angry words inside.
“You owe it to your sister,” Dad said.
My eyes teared up. Without looking up at them, I nodded.
“Good,” Mom said then her voice brightened. “Today’s a new day. I think you’re going to love the folk-art museum.”
I held onto my silence in protest, not even looking at Mei Lin when she made funny Brrrr-ing noises right next to me. I finished my waffles, though today they didn’t taste sweet at all.
***
Katherine got on the van after I did that morning. She walked down the aisle, her hair hanging straight down her back without any braids or coils and she was wearing a pair of shorts instead of a dress or skirt. She glanced up at me and waved but didn’t smile. Her eyes were rimmed with dark circles and looked puffy, as though she’d been crying all night.
I waved back but didn’t smile either. Neither one of us made a move away from our parents as the van chugged down the road.
When we pulled up in front of the folk-art museum, I looked out at the black buildings carved with Chinese writing and artwork. Big oaks shaded wide grassy areas, and a path cut through with curving sidewalks. Children from the art school sat on the grass sketching with thick black pens.
Lisa Wu had finally picked a good field trip, a perfect place for pictures about expected and unexpected beauty. Not that any of that mattered now. We walked inside one building after another full of ancient art, pottery, weavings, and furniture. It was a pretty cool place, but it wasn’t much fun without a friend to share it with.
Katherine kept running ahead but I was stuck behind with my parents. Dad wanted to read every boring plaque about the history.
We were standing in front of an old-fashioned weaving machine when Mom came up behind me. “Will you take some pictures?” she asked, handing me her camera. “Dad’s too busy reading plaques and I still don’t know how to work this thing.”
I almost reached for the camera, then stuck my hand in my pocket. “That’s okay,” I told her. “I don’t really feel like it.”
“Oh, come on, Emily,” Mom said. “I’d hate to miss out on photos of this place. Even if you’re not going to enter the contest, you’re going to regret it if you don’t take pictures of the rest of the trip.”
I just shook my head and stepped away from her, even though it left a burning feeling inside of me. Being grouchy was no fun. Arguing with my parents made me feel awful, but I didn’t know what to do to make things right between us again.
And I was dying to talk to Katherine about what happened. I was sure she’d been told she had to stick to her parents for the rest of the trip, but it also seemed like she was avoiding me. Every time I caught her eye she’d look away quickly, like she felt guilty about getting me in trouble.
After Mei Lin’s nap that afternoon, we walked in and out of shops in town. Everywhere I looked there were non-Asian people pushing Chinese babies in strollers. Which made sense, seeing how full the room was at the Embassy yesterday morning.
It had only been yesterday morning when Mei Lin became an official U.S. citizen. A lot could happen in one day.
I was thinking about Katherine, wondering if she’d heard from anyone in her birth family or if her parents had taken away her phone, when we walked into a shop to pick out a qipao for Mei Lin.
“Oh, I love this traditional outfit for Mei Lin,” Mom said, holding up a red one next to Mei Lin. “It will look darling on her!”
“It’s called a qipao,” I said, breaking my vow of silence-unless-asked-a-specific-question.
Mom looked up at me. “Now how would you happen to know that?”
I shrugged, looking away from her. What did I have to lose? “Katherine told me,” I said. “We looked at qipaos together.”
“Uh-huh,” Mom said but she didn’t ask any more about it. “Would you like to pick something out, too, Emily? You probably already know this, but babies and their siblings are supposed to dress up and have their pictures taken on the red sofa in the hotel later this wee
k. It’s tradition.”
“I don’t want a qipao,” I said.
“A dress then? This store has beautiful clothes at very inexpensive prices. Come on,” she said, pulling me toward a clothing wrack. And that’s how I ended up walking out of the store a few minutes later with not just one dress, but three pretty dresses in green, yellow, and turquoise.
After we shopped for a while, we stopped at a deli for ice cream. They had the same flavors as they did at home, except for a few interesting ones like green tea, ginger, and black sesame. Mom and I went for our favorite flavor, mint chocolate chip, but Dad decided to be more adventurous and chose the green tea. Mei Lin had vanilla, and she gobbled it right up.
We ate our ice cream on a bench in the park. It was in the big square in the middle, with sidewalks and shops on both sides. All around the square stood those twisted trees in pots, just like the ones I saw at Katherine’s park in Guangzhou.
“Those are bonsai trees,” Dad pointed out. “It’s considered an art to trim the trees so they look like that. Actually, I read in a book that these trees originated in China, where they’re called penjing.”
Dad continued to ramble on about the trees, but my thoughts were a few miles away, at the park where we’d posted the message. ’An image of Katherine staring at the letter she’d posted on the message board flashed through my head. So did an image of the way she’d looked that morning, shoulders slumped, flat eyes without her usual sparkle.
I needed to talk to Katherine.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Guangzhou, China, Day 10, 4/12/14
Dear Diary,
Mom and Dad have crushed my dreams. I thought they were the most understanding parents but now it turns out they are the opposite.
Yesterday we went to a museum, and today’s trip is even better—we’re going to the Guangzhou Zoo! But it’s hard to have fun when you can’t take pictures, you’re mad at your parents, and you don’t have a friend to share the day with.
I need to talk to Katherine.
Love,
Emily Out of Focus Page 12
