Memories In The Dark

by Dawn Tamayo

  Romero stared at the phone as it cut off at the other end. Had he really heard Juan right - Helen was actually working behind the bar instead of Cathy? And not only that, but she was a natural and seemed to be having a great time. He smiled, again Helen had surprised him - he had been worried about her, hoping she was alright and not nervous about the number of strangers who would no doubt be around her, but there she was apparently behind the bar serving them, and having fun! He couldn’t wait to see this for himself. Just then Romero’s radio cut into his thoughts - there was a stolen car being chased by the Benidorm police further up the coast heading his way. He got back into his patrol car and moved it to the edge of his patrol zone, waiting, ready for when the car came into view. All other thoughts left him now and he was back into police-mode.

  Romero pulled his car into a parking space opposite Juan’s bar and remained inside watching, hardly believing his eyes. Juan had been right - there Helen was serving the last few customers, laughing and joking with them, smiling. She didn’t look like the timid girl of the last few days, she was thriving on the buzz of the vibrant atmosphere and she looked happy. He smiled - he thought she looked even more beautiful if it could have been possible. Romero stepped out of the car and crossed the road walking slowly up to the bar, he liked what he saw and he was in no hurry now.

  “Hello Sergeant, can I help you?” Helen called across, beckoning him over with a smile when she saw Romero approaching.

  “Hola.” He said smiling, “What’s this?” He asked nodding his head towards the interior of the bar.

  “Oh, they got busy, then Cathy was needed inside so I decided to help out. It turns out I’m not too bad at his.”

  “Not bad, she’s great!” Juan called from behind as he walked out the door into the bar.

  “Hmm, a woman of many talents.” Romero teased.

  Helen blushed.

  “Can you make me a coffee, then we can go home.”

  Helen nodded and turned away to get his coffee.

  Romero turned to Juan and asked quietly, “So, how has she really been?”

  “Really good, she can help out anytime.” Juan said as he watched Helen return with Romero’s coffee and a cup of hot chocolate for herself.

  “You don’t mind do you?” She said showing Juan the hot chocolate.

  He waved his hand in the air as only Spanish men seemed to do in their form of silent communication meaning for her not to worry, it was the least he could do.

  Helen put Romero’s coffee down and her hot chocolate next to it, then she walked around to the front of the bar and took the stool next to his. She climbed up onto it bumping arms with him and she went. Romero put his arm around her waist to steady her, and only let her go once she was sitting comfortably.

  “Thanks.” She smiled liking the way Romero was looking at her, his eyes were so dark they shone like black marbles. She thought there was something very sexy about him sitting there in his police sergeant uniform - all dark with shiny gold buttons, his neat black hair, dark brown eyes, and smooth cappuccino coloured skin. He had left his hat in the car and his hair still looked as neat and tidy as when he had left her at the bar at the beginning of the evening. They both turned at the same time to see Juan smiling devilishly. Romero caught his eye and shook his head smiling as he turned his attention to the coffee in front of him.

  “Actually Helen, you did really well tonight. I was wondering if you were interested in helping out again sometime?” Juan asked.

  Romero looked up sharply, he hadn’t expected Juan to ask her that, and he wasn’t sure if she was ready yet.

  “It’s just that Cathy gave our babysitter some time off while here parents are here. Normally the babysitter would be looking after the children when she is down here, but I think she would like to spend some more time with her parents. So, I was wondering if you would like to work here for a few nights, or even a bit more over the next couple of weeks. I will pay you?” Juan asked hopefully. Finding a good bar person was easy, but finding someone you could trust was a lot harder, and he had a good feeling about Helen, he thought they could trust her.

  “That would be great, could I work the nights Romero is on duty? If you don’t mind picking me up afterward.” She said turning to Romero.

  He shrugged in that Spanish way and Helen wanted to laugh. That was okay with him.

  “Good that’s settled.”

  Juan, Romero and Helen went over Romero’s shifts for the next two weeks and Helen scheduled what nights she would work behind the bar.

  Walking back to Romero’s car Helen drank in the cool night air and felt a sense of peace and happiness envelope her. She finally felt like she was making some sense of her life. It might have only been a small step, but it was in the right direction and it was better than nothing. She still didn’t know who she was before, but at least she felt like she was finding out who she was now, and she liked that person.

  As they walked up to the busy main road Romero could see Helen was deep in thought. As he checked for traffic, he wondered what she was thinking about. Gently he placed his arm around her, ushering her across the road, and liking the feeling of the curve of her waist against his hand - it was soft and warm and he was in no hurry to remove it. Walking around to his car’s passenger door he held it open for her, waiting for her to climb in. Helen paused as she looked across Romero’s shoulder out towards the beach behind him, to the spot where he found her on that fateful night. She looked back to Romero and smiled. Then quickly she kissed him on the cheek and whispered, “Thank you.”

  Romero paused. It was just a simple quick kiss but it felt like he had been hit by lightning and his skin tingled from the softness of her lips. Romero looked at her not knowing what to do or say. She was looking at him, barely inches away from him, not moving. Right now all he wanted to do was put his hands on either side of her face and pull her in close to see what affect those beautiful soft lips would have on his own. He had a feeling it would be electrifying. But he didn’t move. No matter how much he wanted to, he couldn’t - he would be crossing a line, one which he wasn’t sure he would be able to come back from. And until he knew for sure that Helen wanted him to cross that line too, then he wouldn’t do that. He watched as her cheeks blushed slightly.

  Helen looked away and quickly got into the car. “Sorry” she said as she closed the door behind her.

  Romero wanted to hit the car roof in frustration. He wished he had seized the moment and kissed her the way he wanted to - to hell with everything, and to hell with consequences! He had never felt like this about anyone before, he couldn’t take his eyes off her, and every movement she made captivated him. He had been trying to ignore and deny his attraction since the moment he saw her beautiful face, but he couldn’t, not anymore. That tiny kiss had set his whole body on fire and he wasn’t sure he would be able to control himself at just a kiss - not if he had her in his arms with his lips touching hers and her body pushed up against his. With enormous effort Romero pulled his mind away from where it was rapidly going and opened his car door sliding into the driver’s seat. Looking sideways he saw Helen sitting quietly in her seat, looking out of her window, avoiding eye contact.

  “Helen.”

  She didn’t look at him.

  “Helen.” He repeated but more firmly this time, making her look at him. He didn’t say another word, he didn’t need to. He just gave her a smile as his eyes sparkled saying more than any words ever could. Helen smiled back and looked at the road ahead as they drove back home.

  The journey had only been short but Helen was tired after her long day. As much as she had enjoyed the evening and was looking forward to working at the bar again tomorrow night, it had taken every bit of her limited energy and she was longing for her comfortable bed. She said “goodnight” to Romero as soon as they walked inside the house, partly out of exhaustion and partly because she was still embarrassed about kissing him at the car. She didn’t know what had come over her - she hadn’t pl
anned to do it, it just felt right and she had acted spontaneously. She had seen a strange look in Romero’s eyes, not one she recognised and she thought maybe she had overstepped the line for a moment. But thankfully when he smiled at her in the car he made all her fears fade away. But that didn’t change anything, she was only a guest in his house and he had a life he needed to be getting on with.

  As Helen undressed she thought about what Cathy had said - did Romero really have feelings for her? She knew he felt protective towards her; she felt that from him all the time and it was nice, warm and comforting. But wasn’t that just because he was a good policeman and he had saved her life? That didn’t necessarily mean he had special feelings for her. But as they drove home in the car tonight she could feel the chemistry between them, just like it had been last night in the living room, and yet again she wondered if Cathy was right.

  Romero stretched out on the long sofa and looked at his watch, it was getting late, into the early hours of the morning and he needed to get some sleep. He turned off the television and picked up his empty beer bottle, going into the kitchen to throw it in the bin. Then he headed back to his bedroom but paused as he heard a noise coming from inside Helen’s bedroom. He waited a moment listening to the faint cries getting louder. He couldn’t stand it any longer, opening the door he saw Helen thrashing around in her bed and sobbing uncontrollably. Romero walked to her side and called her name to wake her up.

  Helen cried out! She couldn’t breathe. All she could feel was a huge sadness inside her chest and it weighed so heavily it was crushing her. But that wasn’t what was causing her lack of breath, she couldn’t work out what was. All she knew was she couldn’t breathe, she was drowning and she had to fight. She had to swim and fight to stay alive because she could feel herself dying and she didn’t want to die. She heard her name called and just the sound of it was breathing oxygen back into her body. She breathed hard, gasped and opened her eyes suddenly. Finally she could breathe.

  Helen looked at Romero, his concerned face was close to hers as he sat on the edge of her bed. She noticed he was still in his uniform minus his jacket, and remembered where she was. “I was drowning!” She blurted out as she started to cry again.

  Romero put his arms around her; he couldn’t bear to see her cry, he could feel her pain. “It’s alright mi amorsita. Todo está bien, estoy aquí.” He murmured into her hair as he smoothed it back from her face whilst he held her tightly against him, her tiny t-shirt which doubled up as a nightdress felt like nothing against his hands as they moulded to her back.

  “Romero, I was drowning.” She said again but this time with more clarity.

  “It was just a dream.” Romero said stroking her cheek as she pulled back to look at him. He wiped away the tears from below her eyes with his thumbs.

  “No it wasn’t just a dream. The night when you found me on the beach I don’t think I had just got wet somehow, I think I had actually come in from the sea. I am sure I nearly drowned, but somehow I didn’t.” As this piece of information dawned on her she felt like she was teetering on the edge of Pandora’s box.

  “Do you remember what happened?” He said pulling away switching into policeman mode immediately.

  “No, but I just know that I was in the sea and I was drowning.”

  Romero tried to move away, he needed to get his notebook and ask Helen some more questions right now while any tiny piece of information was fresh in her mind. Maybe she would remember something else which could help them. But he stopped at Helen’s hands caught his arm. “No, please Romero. Don’t go! Please stay with me for a moment.”

  “I just need my notebook.”

  “No. Not now.”

  Romero looked at her, she looked as scared as she sounded and her eyes pleaded with him. He nodded and stood up kicking off his shoes and removed his belt. Helen moved across the bed making room for him as Romero laid down next to her. He wasn’t quite sure what he was doing, all he knew was that Helen needed him and he wanted to pull her into his arms and keep her safe and happy, and that was what he was going to do. He opened his arms and Helen snuggled inside putting her head against his chest as she felt his arms close securely around her. She breathed in his scent and immediately relaxed against him. Romero held her as she moulded her body alongside his. He tried not to feel, not to let himself feel her and what it was doing to him. He knew he had to disengage his mind from his body right now or he could do something they both might regret in the morning. Either that or he would go insane. He reasoned with himself that as soon as Helen was asleep again he would be able to disentangle himself and go to his own bed, but for now he was going to give Helen the comfort and strength she needed. He wanted to be the one to give it to her, just him.

  The faint glimmer of light came through the slatted blinds as Helen woke with the feeling of a heavy arm draped across her stomach. She opened her eyes slowly and looked at Romero’s sleeping face right next to hers. He was lying on his side with one arm draped across her, his eyes closed with his dark long lashes resting peacefully. His breathing was deep and comforting. She lay still for a moment just watching him sleep, trying to ignore the ache inside of her - she wanted to reach out and run her fingers across his big lips. Helen remembered her dream last night and shivered. She couldn’t believe Romero was still here; she remembered him laying down with her, holding her tight and whispering comforting words in Spanish which she wasn’t sure if she had understood or not, but it had been so comforting he had sent her straight back to sleep. And him too by the looks of it! Romero looked like he was in a deep sleep so she decided to give in to her temptation, he would never know. Helen gently ran two fingers across his lips marvelling at the padded softness of them. She paused for a moment resting her fingers where they were as she felt Romero’s arm tighten around her and pull her a little closer to him. She smiled - she liked it. Feeling a little braver she ventured further. Helen traced one finger from Romero’s gently lined temple, along the contour of his cheek, down to his jaw and chin, and then back up to his lips. This time her fingers were met with a tiny gentle kiss. Helen felt a mixture of shock and delight. She looked again but Romero’s eyes were still closed - he was still sleeping but now his breathing wasn’t quite so deep. Helen knew she should stop, but she didn’t want to, she liked the feel of his hard yet soft skin beneath her fingertips. She let her fingers move down from his lips to his throat over the gentle bump of his Adam’s-apple, and along to his collarbone. She jumped slightly as she heard his quiet deep voice.

  “Helen, if you continue with this you had better know what you are doing and who you are doing it with.” Romero said, eyes still shut and expressionless.

  “Yes Romero.” She said knowing what he meant. She knew exactly what she wanted and who she wanted it with. She couldn’t think of anyone she would rather be here with right now than Romero.

  Romero opened his eyes, he had to give Helen a chance to back out, because after laying there pretending to be asleep whilst her fingers teased his skin he was not sure he would be able to stop if they went any further. “I will not be another man’s substitute.” he said seriously.

  Helen loved the depth of Romero’s voice. She smiled to herself - Romero could never be someone else’s substitute, he was the prize! She found it hard to believe that anyone could ever match up to Romero never mind be anything more. “You are no substitute, not for me. I know what I am doing and I know who you are.” Helen said softly as she smiled lazily at him.

  Romero didn’t need anything more. He placed his large hand against her cheek and closed the tiny distance between them. He met her lips with his, warm and hard giving her no doubt about his intentions. Helen kissed Romero back, opening her lips to invite him in. His tongue traced a line around the contours of her mouth and then finally found its way inside. Helen savoured the feeling of his warm tongue as he entered her, tasting him and playfully licking him with her own. Romero moved onto his elbow and leaned over her as he kissed her deeply, and
she happily accepted him returning his passionate kisses with ones of her own as she felt his hardness pressed up against her. Her hands moved from his neck, to his shoulders, and then to the collar of his shirt pulling at it. He moved away and stood up pulling his shirt over his head not wasting time with the buttons. He threw it on the chair and watched as Helen knelt up on the bed watching his every action. She smiled at him and tilted her head back as Romero stood in front of her. He lost his hands in her hair as his mouth descended upon her again to continue with the most delicious kisses he had ever tasted. He had wondered what it would be like to kiss Helen, he had dreamt about it at night, but even that had not compared to the reality of it now, he was in ecstasy. Helen’s hands explored the contours of Romero’s muscles running down his stomach, then around his waist to his back, and she couldn’t resist playfully squeezing her fingers so that her nails gently grazed the surface. Romero’s head snapped back as he let out a string of words she thought was probably close to profanity.

  “Dios mío Helen! How am I to keep control when you do that to me?” He asked as he looked down into her eyes, his fingers still intertwined in her hair. He didn’t think he had ever seen such a beautiful sight - her blue eyes had changed to piercing green, her pupils big and dark, and her lips were waiting for him to kiss her again.

  “Then don’t Romero. Lose control with me.” Helen said as she reached for the button on his trousers flicking it open between her fingers.

  She felt Romero pull in his breath as he moved his hands to her shoulders. She wondered for a moment if he would stop her, but he didn’t. He pulled his trousers down removing his trunks and socks with them in one full motion, and stood in front of Helen naked.