I had mousy brown hair and unremarkable features. I wasn’t particularly beautiful, my nose was too long, my chin was too pointy, my left eye was slightly bigger than my right, and I’d never grown out of my gangly teenage phase. Laser surgery had taken care of my near-sightedness when I was just out of high school, but even without the glasses I’d worn most of my life, I still felt like a newborn colt trying to figure out how to walk on wobbly legs. I’d never had that whole confidence thing. Since Brax, I was better, but I was still me.
Plain old me.
“I don’t think one bottle is going to be enough.”
“That bad, huh?” Natalie tilted her head in that sympathetic girlfriend way and made a face. “Well, I know where the chef keeps his stash. I won’t tell if you won’t.”
Natalie held out a fist, her pinky the only finger sticking straight out. “Pinky swear?”
I laughed, I couldn’t help it. “Pinky swear.”
We hooked our small fingers and shook on our new oath. Thank goodness she knew when I sent out the SOS that alcohol would be required. This was exactly what I needed. A big bottle of wine and a chance to cry, scream and get drunk. We’d been friends back on Earth. I’d followed her to Trion when she mated Roark. Natalie had insisted I accompany her and Noah. Since Roark was a councilor, he’d been able to approve the transfer on the spot. I’d been on the planet with Natalie for two years and could now make Cookies and Cream ice cream from the S-gen machine. I drove Natalie’s staff crazy, but I loved to bake and had mastered the art of poofing flour, eggs, butter and the fixings for chocolate chip cookies or snickerdoodles—there was a reason I was Noah’s favorite Auntie—but I didn’t have the same inside track for the good alcohol. The real booze. The liquid gold she was pouring liberally into the glasses, thank god.
I needed a vat of it. An IV right to my heart.
Even though it was my quarters we were in, she turned and handed me a very full glass as if she were the hostess. While there weren’t grapes on Trion, there was another kind of oddly named fruit that was fermented. I wasn’t a connoisseur by any means, picking up the smoky notes and all that, but my taste buds knew a good wine when it hit them and this stuff packed a punch.
Natalie took her own glass, full to nearly the top, and plopped down on my sofa. “Okay. Spill.”
As I dropped down onto the sofa in my living area beside her, we both knew she wasn’t talking about the wine.
Sighing, I bent my knees and tucked my legs up beneath me. It had been over a month since I’d last seen Brax and I missed him. Terribly. “It’s Brax.”
“Of course it is.” Natalie looked at me with nothing but sympathy in her blue eyes. “Did you talk to him today? What did he say to you? That jerk, I’ll strangle him if he wasn’t good to you.”
“What? When? I thought he was out on a mission.” What the hell was she talking about? Brax was here? In the city?
And he hadn’t called me?
Oblivious to my pain, Natalie kept talking. “He was here, last night, giving his report. I assumed he told you he was leaving again tomorrow, and that’s why you were upset.” Her raised brows and matter-of-fact voice made me feel like I’d just swallowed an entire bucket of ice. Brax had been… was here, in the city? He was alive and well and hadn’t seen me in weeks.
I shook my head and took a gulp of wine. “No, that’s not why.”
Maybe it would have been, if he’d contacted me.
But he hadn’t called. Not once. No messages. No comms. Nothing. I’d been in total communications blackout for the last five weeks trying to focus on my little students, worried sick, imagining him dead and rotting in the sand, lost in the middle of the desert. I’d imagined scorpions climbing in and out of his eye sockets—and they didn’t even have scorpions on Trion. I’d been going crazy with worry, thinking I’d made a mistake the last time I saw him, thinking I’d misread his words. Waiting for him to get home so I could ask him once and for all to be mine. And he’d been here? Home? In the city and NOT calling me?
“Shit.” I didn’t normally cuss, at least not out loud, but this was too much for my brain to process and keep control of my mouth at the same time.
The last time I was with Brax, I’d fallen asleep in his arms, too blissed out on sex swing induced orgasms to do anything else. When I woke up, he, too, was asleep. He’d said our time was short, that he’d leave again in the morning.
The idea of watching him walk away—again—had been too much. I hadn’t been able to be there when he left. Again.
And after what he’d said, when he’d been fucking me as I’d been tied to that swing—you will look beautiful one day, Miranda, when your mate adorns you properly—I knew I couldn’t stay. Couldn’t say goodbye. I had come to realize that he had no intention of ever being my mate. He spoke openly of another male taking on that role even while he’d been buried balls deep inside me.
He intended me for another. Not for him.
And so I’d left, sneaked out in the middle of the night. For the first time in all the months we’d had sex, I’d done the walk of shame. Felt that our friends with benefits arrangement was… cheap.
I took a big gulp of wine. Then another.
“Okaaaay.” Natalie dragged out the word. “Then what’s up?”
“I think you were right,” I said finally.
Her mouth dropped open and she stared, wide-eyed. “What time is it?”
“What?” I asked, frowning. “Eight-thirty? Why?”
“Because you never say I’m right. I want to get this on record.”
I rolled my eyes and laughed, took a gulp of the wine. “Whatever. I’m done.”
“Done? With what?”
“Friends with benefits.”
Understanding crossed her face. “Why? The sex isn’t good anymore?”
I thought of Brax and the way he moved his hips. How he could work his tongue in some magical way that made my eyes cross. The way he filled me up, took his time, had claimed me completely, in every way. Front, back and sideways. He knew every single inch of my body, intimately. My pussy clenched just thinking about him. My nipples had been sore for days from the jeweled nipple clamps he’d used. Adorned me with. He said he liked to see me adorned, that they were gifts to me. And yet I’d left them on his bedside table. For the next female he took to his bed.
Based on the way his cock hardened as I squirmed when he’d put them on, he liked seeing me with them on, seeing the effect they had on me. He knew it made me hot, made me wet, made me beg for it rough. Wild and untamed.
“Hello? Earth to Mira?” The laughter in Natalie’s eyes made it clear she knew exactly what I’d been thinking about.
“Yeah, sex is not the problem,” I replied, squirming on the couch. The sexy little outfit I’d worn that night was buried in a drawer. Tonight, I had on some Trion-style loose pants and a good, old-fashioned Earth t-shirt. My hair I’d put up in a messy bun. “God, if it got any better, I might not survive.”
Natalie grinned. We didn’t talk all that much about her sex life; Roark was ridiculously possessive, but I knew she was never left unsatisfied. Having had a baby recently, I imagined she should still be sitting on an ice pack and trying to remember the last time she’d showered. One thing Trion had over Earth were those sweet ReGen pods. Two hours after having Talia, she had been completely recovered. I had no doubt she and Roark had already been practicing for baby number three.
And yet I didn’t even have a male who wanted me for more than sex. Oh, I’d asked for the arrangement with Brax, so I didn’t feel used. Hell, I’d used Brax’s cock as much as he’d used me. But I wasn’t his mate, had only been adorned temporarily. I knew Natalie was adorned with all the customary jewelry of a Trion mate. Nipple rings—not just the jeweled nipple clamps Brax used on me—and a thin chain running between them with Roark’s medallion. It was hidden beneath her clothing, but sometimes the outlines of the adornments were visible. And more than once, on special occasions, she wore go
wns designed to show them off. Sexy, flowing pieces of clothing that made her look like a sex goddess.
When it came to exuding sex like a Trion female, Natalie had it down.
If we weren’t on a strange planet having sex with aliens, I’d think we were living in some kind of desert sheik porno. All we needed to do was go to Outpost Two, in the middle of the desert, to make the scenario complete. That’s where the leaders on the continent gathered for their meetings. Roark had dragged us along once. Well, insisted Natalie and Noah accompany him. I’d been the tag-a-long. And to be perfectly honest, I loved the tents and the piercings—or adornments—as the women here called them. They were intimate and taboo and hit all my hot buttons. But the sand? Umm… no. The sand I could do without.
Whatever. It turned out I liked sheik porno, especially with my own super-sexy, super-dominant sheik. Or doctor.
“Sex isn’t enough anymore,” I said, finishing off my glass and reaching for the bottle to give it a refill.
She tilted her head, eyed me. Her glass was still full. I wasn’t sure if she could drink and nurse, but maybe she was just holding the cup for me, because when I was done with the bottle, I’d be emptying her glass, too. Didn’t want to waste any.
“You fell for him.” She wasn’t asking.
“Wouldn’t you?” I countered, taking another sip of wine. I could feel the effects of it kicking in, the loose limbs, the warmth seeping into my veins.
She cocked her head to the side. “I understand. I have Roark. And no, sex wouldn’t be enough. I wanted it all.”
“You got it, too.” My words weren’t snarky or laced with jealousy, but I wanted what she had. A mate of her own to come home to after working. To cuddle with. To have his babies. A mate who would protect me and make me feel safe. A mate who would adorn me with his permanent nipple rings. And chains. And maybe even a piercing in my clit. I squirmed some more.
Did I know the thoughts chasing each other around in my skull were crazy? Yes. But I wanted to feel the tug on my nipples when my mate was somewhere else. I wanted to feel the gentle pull and know the man who adorned me would return. The adornments on Trion were a symbol of love. Of respect. Of claiming. They enhanced a woman’s beauty, made her feel special. And beautiful. And on top of all that, the adornments were a connection. A formal binding.
Permanent. Real.
And that’s what I told Natalie. “When he put the nipple clamps on me, I was reminded of what I’m missing. The temporariness of our arrangement.” I leaned back with a sigh, and I knew my voice held every ounce of regret I was feeling. How the hell had I let myself fall for a man who didn’t really want me… again. “He’s amazing, but he’s out of town as fast as the nipple clamps come off after sex.”
“He’s a busy doctor,” she replied, as if his job would justify his lack of commitment.
“He’s more than a doctor and you know it.” I stared at her, hoping maybe she’d know some top-secret stuff about what Brax did since she was mated to the councilor. But she remained silent.
I sighed. “Roark is a councilor. His schedule is insane, but he finds time for you. For Noah and now Talia. He makes time.” When she was about to say more, I kept going. “Roark puts energy and focus into the things he wants. Things which are important to him. Things that are a priority.”
“Brax puts energy and focus into sex with you,” she replied, her voice soothing. “Hell, woman, I’ve seen you after. You’re like a puddle of goo.”
My cheeks heated, and I wasn’t sure if it was from the wine or her words. But the last time I’d been with Brax, even after I’d been swing fucked, I hadn’t been a puddle of goo. My emotions that night had completely ruined the sex buzz. Dammit.
“I need more than sex,” I countered. “If he wanted me completely, then he’d put his all into being with me. I want it all, Nat. I want what you have with Roark. I’m ready now. I wasn’t when we first came to Trion, but I’m ready now.”
“He’s a good one, Miranda. Have you told him how you feel?”
“I asked him when he was going to be ready to take a mate.”
That got her attention. “And? What did he say?”
“That he would serve Roark for as long as he was needed.”
She slumped back, her outward disappointment a mirror for my internal state. “That’s romantic.”
“Yeah, and it was about a minute after he told me he could only be with me for one night because he was leaving again. For even longer this time.”
“I shouldn’t say anything, but Roark’s having a problem with some pirates on the southern coast. It’s a big problem. Women and children are dying.” That explanation should have come from Brax, not Natalie. I’d watched and admired military families back on Earth who waited for a loved one to serve. I would have waited for Brax. I would have understood and supported his decision to protect and serve his people. But he didn’t give me that choice. He gave me no choices except keep things as they were… or end it.
“He should have told me. Maybe I’m crazy. I know it’s weird, but I want my life to be like an eighties movie. I want the grand gesture. I want him to throw everything on the line for me. No holding back. Total devotion. I deserve that.”
“You do. We all do.”
I sighed and took another gulp of wine, decided one bottle was definitely not going to be enough. “I think I need some kind of weird soundtrack or something. I want him to hold the boom box up for me.”
Natalie was taking another sip of wine. Apparently, my last bit of ranting about Brax had broken her resolve to defend him. “They don’t have boom boxes here.”
“I didn’t mean it literally.” I took a swing of wine, nodded my head. “But sex isn’t enough. I’m worth more, and I’m going to get it. Staying with Brax for the fun and hot sex is only keeping me away from him.”
She leaned forward, eyes wide. “Him? Him who? Have you met someone else?”
I sighed, looked down at my glass and realized it was empty. Again. I grabbed the bottle and poured more. Poured it all. “There is no specific him,” I clarified. “A mate. A real future. A family of my own. It’s time for me to get bride tested.”
At my words, she nearly bounced off the couch. “Tested? God, that was so hot. Oooh, who do you think you’d get? An Everian? I heard they’re ridiculously fast.”
“Aren’t they marked or something?” I looked down at my palm. No odd birthmark.
“I know!” she shouted, making me jump. “Viken. Three hotties.”
“Three? Um, I don’t think I could handle that.” I thought of sex with Brax and that was pretty intense. Two might be… wow. My brain stalled. One in front of me, taking my pussy. Another behind, holding me down, filling my ass as they played. My body lit up. Two could be really hot. But three? No. I wasn’t so sure about three.
“Fine, then you could have a beast. I bet their cocks are huge.”
I laughed then, practically snorting wine out my nose. “You are mated to a huge Trion alien. I can only assume by the size of him that his cock is more than enough for you.”
Her eyes went all dreamy. “Oh, yes.”
“Stop squirming,” I scolded, knowing she was getting all hot just thinking about Roark’s cock. I loved him like a brother… but yuck. Just, no.
However, the contented, happy smile on Natalie’s face made me want a mate of my own all the more. Brax’s cock was serious business, but it wasn’t mine. He’d made that very clear. If I couldn’t have that thick, long piece of alien cock to myself forever and ever, then I was going to get one that I could keep.
“Sign me up. I want to get matched.” I stood, went over to the door. “I want my own cock, one I can keep.”
“Now?” she asked. Realizing I was serious, she stood as well. “You’re insane, you know that? It’s not just a cock. It’s an alien. A mate who will be possessive and growly.”
“Now you’re just teasing me.” Growly and possessive. That was what I wanted. I was tired of being a b
ooty-call. An unwanted wife. A back-up, maybe later, friend men slept with. I wanted a man who wanted to be with me. Who wanted it more than he wanted to breathe. I wanted a man who loved me the way Roark loved Natalie. Complete and utter devotion. Adoration. Growly and possessive sound fucking perfect.
“You’ll have to leave me. You know that? What if you get sent to Prillon Prime? Or the Colony? Somewhere far, far away.” Natalie walked closer and gave me a bear hug, squeezing the last two years of love and friendship into me between one breath and the next. “Never mind that. I’m totally being selfish. I want you to be happy, but I’m going to miss you.”
“Me, too.” I shrugged. “Maybe I’ll get matched to Trion.” I waggled my eyebrows and looked Natalie dead in the eyes until she laughed out loud. I could deal with that. I loved this place. The dominant males. The adornments. The sexy clothing and sex goddess attitude of the females here. But the truth of it was, I loved Earth, too. It wasn’t about the place for me, it was about the people. I could be happy on the moon if I had a devoted mate with me.
“Okay. But are you sure about this? Once you sign up, you can’t take it back. It’s a totally legal, binding contract. You’ll be married… mated, whatever, as soon as you take the test.”
I squeezed her one more time and stepped back. “I know, but it’s been over a month and you said Brax was back in town. He didn’t even bother to call. It’s time to move on. I want a real mate. I’m ready for a grown-up relationship. I’m tired of casual sex. And I’m tired of sitting by the phone, waiting for a call that never comes.”
“They don’t have phones here.”
“Whatever. You know what I mean. I’m tired of being that girl.”
“But you’re drunk.”
“Girlfriend, it takes more than two glasses of wine. I can drink you under the table, remember?” It was my turn to laugh.
“Right. I forgot.” Natalie was smiling, too.
“Besides, I’m not driving a car, I’m getting bride tested. And right now feels like the perfect time to do something insane.”
Matched and Mated: Interstellar Brides® Program - Book 16 Page 3
