It had been a lie, telling her family she’d planned to go to Korea before everything had gone south. When she’d said it had nothing to do with her father’s illness when really, she’d applied for a teaching job the moment her father’s health had taken a turn for the worse.
She’d made excuses about why she couldn’t postpone it after her father had... After. She’d left her family because she hadn’t been brave enough to stay. To deal with what she knew would come after.
No, she thought again. She didn’t want to share that with him. But just as she was about to go with her instinct, she made the mistake of looking into his eyes. He wore the same expression he had when she told him about why she didn’t like weddings. Pensive. Jarring. Because when he wore that expression, she felt as if he could see right through her.
Or no, not through her, but into her. Right to that place where she brushed her feelings under a carpet. And then, for good measure, weighed the carpet down with quotas. With excuses.
Now she knew Ezra wasn’t only asking her if she wanted to share because he was being polite. He was doing it because he thought she needed to be prompted. Because he thought—without truly knowing it, she knew—that she needed a reason to set aside the excuses and pick up the carpet. To finally shed some light on the pile of dirt that seemed an apt description for her current emotional state.
He was doing it for her. Damn if she was able to resist it.
‘My dad—’ She took a deep breath. Just rip off the plaster. ‘He passed away before I left for Korea. Weeks before.’
Passed away. Three years and she was still using euphemisms because she couldn’t say the actual word.
‘My mom... She relied on him quite a lot, so it was really an awful thing to do. Me leaving, I mean. Not his—’
She shook her head. Idiot. It was like the guilt had made her tongue clumsy. Which she deserved. She deserved a whole lot worse than stumbling over her words for leaving her family when they needed her most.
‘But you felt like you had to?’ Ezra asked from beside her, and she realised she’d started walking again, heading into the pathway that led to the field. She wasn’t sure when. Hadn’t even checked to see if he was walking with her.
‘Did you hear what I said? I left my mother behind after she lost the man she loved more than anything else in the world. When she was trying to figure out who she was without him.’ She cringed, hearing it out loud. Saying it felt like she was condemning herself. ‘It was selfish.’
‘But you felt like you had to?’ he said again, and took her hand in his. The warmth of it slid through her body, comforting her, just as it had when he’d done it at the top of that hill. Seemed like he had a knack for knowing when she needed it.
She had to clear her throat before she could speak again. ‘Yeah, I did.’
Ezra nodded at her words, and silence followed them as they walked. Eventually she realised it was his turn. ‘So, what happened with your girlfriend?’
‘I proposed. She declined. Simple really.’
‘Couldn’t have been that simple if even the mention of a wedding bothers you.’ She paused. ‘How long were you two together?’
‘Seven years.’
She almost dropped her jaw before she remembered she was trying to act more appropriately. ‘When did you break up?’
‘About nine months ago.’
‘And you said you’re going back to Cape Town to see your family for Christmas?’
‘I’m moving back home permanently. But yes, to see my family, too.’
‘Have you seen them since the breakup?’
‘No.’
She winced. ‘So this isn’t exactly the homecoming you imagined.’
He pulled a face. ‘It had to happen sometime.’
‘But Christmas is a bit steep. People always try to make you feel bad about your life at Christmas.’
‘You’re not a fan of weddings and Christmas?’
Again, she kicked herself for revealing something she hadn’t intended to. She was about to brush it off when she noticed they were at the foot of the step that led to the field. She could hear a faint drum of music coming from that direction now.
‘What did you say was up here?’ Ezra asked.
‘I believed I used the very descriptive term of “something.” The music wasn’t here earlier.’
‘Maybe it’s a ritual of some kind. Some pagan sacrifice to the gods.’
‘At Christmastime?’ She wasn’t convinced, but smirked when he cocked an eyebrow. ‘I’m sorry, what I meant to say was that pagan sacrifices to the gods at Christmastime seems extremely legit.’
‘Imagine how legit it’s going to sound when we go check it out instead of talking about issues neither of us want to talk about.’
She stared at him for a beat. Then she began to climb the steps that led to the field. ‘What are you waiting for, Ezra?’ she asked over her shoulder. ‘Let’s go check it out.’
* * *
He was beginning to think Angie had a gift for him.
Or maybe it was that he had a gift for her. He’d seen the faint panic in her eyes when she’d told him about her parents—when she’d blamed herself for leaving—and he’d been determined to make the pain go away.
Because he was familiar with it, he told himself, now rejecting the idea of either of them having a gift for the other. He knew what it was like to regret a decision. More than most, even. So it was that they had something in common that was making him feel this way.
Not that that made any sense either. Ever since his final year in high school, he was careful about who he allowed into his life. It didn’t matter if they were strangers, or friends of friends, or professional acquaintances; he’d learnt his lesson about bonding with people he shouldn’t.
Spending time with Angie like this—at all, really—was...significant.
And he hadn’t even got to the more disturbing parts of it.
Like how Angie had managed to get him to reconsider the end of his relationship with Liesel when he’d been beating himself up about it endlessly. How reconsidering it had him thinking that maybe all the aches, the memories, his reactions, were normal. Were fine.
Like how, when he looked at Angie, his body tensed in ways he didn’t expect. Hadn’t believed possible so soon after Liesel.
He didn’t dwell on what it meant. On what it could mean. They’d be going their separate ways soon. There was no point.
That didn’t stop the stir of anxiety in his chest.
Then they arrived at the base of the field and he didn’t think about it anymore.
‘This is—’
‘Wow.’
They spoke at the same time, and when Ezra turned to Angie and she was already facing him, he thought her expression reflected his feelings exactly.
‘I did not expect a little town outside of Cape Town to have this,’ he said, turning his attention back to the field. The last thing he’d expected was to find Christmas floats there. Or to realise the faint drum of music they’d been lured by had been Christmas carols blasting through speakers all over the field.
As he took everything in, he noticed the floats had been divided. No matter how long he looked at it, he couldn’t figure out whether they’d been divided according to logic or reason. Not when Father Christmas and the elves stood on a trailer next to the Three Wise Men, who in turn, stood next to a float dedicated solely to reindeers.
‘Do you think it’s for a parade?’ he asked, his legs moving before he fully knew they were. Angie walked in step beside him.
‘Um, I’m going to say yes because I feel really weird about not knowing this existed. Unless it happened after my parents moved?’ She sounded as if she were talking more to herself than to him. ‘Why wouldn’t they tell us about this? Why wouldn’t they bring us to this? It would have made their stories
a lot cooler.’
‘The story about your mom finding out she was pregnant wasn’t cool enough for you?’
She made a face and he laughed.
‘The other option is that maybe, they didn’t want to expose us to all this paganism,’ she said gravely, needing no time to bounce back. ‘It would have damaged our Christian brains severely to watch a pagan ritual celebrating Christmas through floats and Christmas music.’ She lifted a hand to her chest. ‘The horror.’
He chuckled. ‘Why is everything you say a quip?’
‘It’s my curse,’ she said. When he looked over, she smiled at him.
Some version of himself stumbled at that smile. At the dimples he somehow hadn’t noticed before. At how the smile crinkled the skin around her eyes. At how it quite literally took his breath away.
He wanted to lift a hand and pull at her curls. No, he wanted to slide his hand into them and tilt her head back, his mouth lowering to hers so he could—
‘It’s not a curse,’ he said slowly, deliberately, almost as if he were telling himself that a version where he stumbled at this woman’s smile—where he kissed her—couldn’t exist. Not when he was still reeling from the end of his seven-year relationship.
But what if you weren’t still reeling?
‘Ezra?’ He blinked. Saw she was frowning. ‘You didn’t hear a word I said.’
‘Sorry.’ He resisted the urge to shake his shoulders. ‘I haven’t had much sleep these last few days. It’s been hell driving so far.’
‘I know.’ There was a pause. ‘Can I ask you what you didn’t hear me say the first time again?’
He knew she did so purposefully, despite the easy smile on her face. Something must have told her he needed the distraction. He didn’t acknowledge how that made him feel.
‘Sure, go ahead.’
‘You said it wasn’t a curse. Earlier.’ She lifted a hand, pulled at a curl. His fingers itched to do the same. ‘What did you mean?’
‘Exactly what I said,’ he told her. Stopped walking. ‘There’s nothing wrong with being witty. In fact, it’s one of the reasons I like you.’
Her lips curved, then her eyes shifted to behind him. When her gaze focused on his again, something on her face had his heart beating faster. It sped up even more when she gave him a sweet smile.
‘I don’t think you’re going to like me very much after I do this.’
‘What?’
She winked, moving past him. When he turned, Ezra groaned. Angie was heading toward a person holding a sign that said:
Elves needed for the Christmas parade. Speak to me if you’d like to brighten up a kid’s day.
He didn’t think this was going to brighten up his day.
Chapter Five
‘Hi,’ Angie said. ‘I have a friend who’d like to become an elf. Do you still need them?’
‘Yes, we do,’ the woman holding the sign Angie had seen told her.
She was certain volunteering Ezra to be an elf was going to brighten her day. And hey, if it meant avoiding the awkward territory she and Ezra were heading toward with his talks of liking her, bonus.
‘Could you speak to that guy over...’
The woman trailed off with a frown when she turned and saw the man she was referring to arguing with another woman. Angie didn’t try to hide her own interest when the man stomped off, leaving the woman he’d been arguing with staring after him wordlessly.
‘Nikki!’ the woman who’d spoken with Angie yelled. ‘Where’s Simon going?’
Nikki turned to them. ‘I’m...sorry, Dany. I don’t think Simon is going to be able to do this. I don’t think I can do this either.’ Nikki gave a helpless shrug and walked off, leaving Dany and Angie staring after her now.
‘So,’ Angie said after a moment. ‘I’m assuming Nikki and Simon are letting you down in some way.’
‘I’ll say.’ Dany tossed the sign on the table behind her. ‘Four months. Four months my husband and I—along with our former friends, Nikki and Simon—have been planning this float for the Christmas parade. And just like that—’ she snapped her fingers ‘—our plans have gone up in smoke.’
‘Oh, I’m sure it’s not that bad.’
‘Angie,’ Ezra said from behind her. ‘I think this nice woman is trying to tell you she doesn’t need us anymore.’
‘You,’ Angie corrected immediately, before turning her attention back to Dany. ‘I’m sure two people can’t spoil all the work you’ve done.’
Dany sighed and lowered onto a chair Angie hadn’t noticed before. When Dany’s hands began to rub her stomach—her decidedly swollen stomach—Angie realised she might need to work on her powers of perception.
‘In any other year they probably wouldn’t have. But this year—’ She broke off. Sighed again. ‘This year, my husband had a work function in Cape Town that he couldn’t miss. I know this because I asked. Several times.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘Eventually, I agreed that it would be fine for him not to be here for the actual parade because part of the fun of it is making the float anyway. We all did that together.’
‘Okay, so why can’t it still work?’
‘I’m supposed to drive the car in the parade because, you know.’ She gestured to her stomach. ‘Simon and Nikki were supposed to be Father Christmas and Mrs. Claus respectively. Our float with just elves won’t work.’ She blew out a breath. ‘And by the way, I know that technically, Father Christmas isn’t wed like Santa Claus is, but we didn’t think anyone would care.’
Angie forced herself not to smile. ‘I think you’re right.’
‘Except now I don’t have either character. Oh, well. It probably wouldn’t have worked anyway. We wouldn’t have got volunteer elves. Who would have volunteered for that? Except you.’ Dany winced. ‘But that’s because you’re from out of town. Small place,’ Dany said when Angie’s eyebrows rose. ‘You don’t even know about the prize. A year’s worth of donuts.’
‘Is that, um, usual?’ Angie asked, keeping both the amusement and confusion from her voice. ‘The donuts, I mean.’
For the first time since Nikki and Simon stormed off, Dany smiled. ‘Not in the sense you mean it, I don’t think. Each year one of the local entrepreneurs sponsors the Christmas parade. It’s tradition, and really, we don’t do it because we want the prize. Although there were significantly fewer entries the year the printing store sponsored the parade.’ Dany wrinkled her nose. ‘Free ink cartridge refills for a year.’
Angie laughed. Heard Ezra laugh behind her, too. Then she was speaking, and hoping Ezra would hold on to his amusement for a while longer.
‘You know, Dany, donuts sound really good.’
‘They’re so good.’ Dany rolled her eyes in mock ecstasy. ‘The bakery is the best in town. Which might not sound all that significant considering the size of the town, but I’ve eaten my share of donuts from Cape Town and I’m pretty sure it would hold its own there, too.’
‘That’s some recommendation.’
Angie turned to Ezra. There was a pause as he looked at her without saying anything. Soon he was shaking his head.
‘Oh, no. No, no, no.’
‘Oh, come on. It’s Christmas.’ She waited a beat. ‘You’d look really hot as Father Christmas.’
‘What?’ Dany exclaimed at the same time Ezra said, ‘No.’
‘You’d do this?’ Dany asked again, the excitement clear in her voice.
‘No,’ Ezra repeated.
‘Ezra, do it for the children.’
‘Screw the children,’ Dany said. ‘Do it for the donuts.’
Angie blinked, then she burst out laughing. When Ezra didn’t laugh—she swore she saw his lips twitch though—Angie sobered, nodding solemnly. ‘Do it for the donuts, Ezra.’
‘I mean, you could do it for the children as well,’ Dany said, grimacing when Angie tur
ned back to her. ‘There’s only one Father Christmas allowed per parade per year for the sake of the children. Each year, one float gets a turn. This year was ours. The next time we’d have our chance again would be in over ten years’ time. And we wouldn’t even be able to participate normally for the next couple of years either since we’re having the baby, and who knows when we’ll have the time to do something like this again.’
Dany’s eyes moved from Angie to Ezra. She looked down.
‘Besides, it’s Christmas. My last Christmas before some of my independence disappears because of the baby. I was looking forward to being able to say I did this, you know? But alone. Without my husband, I mean. So I could prove that I could. In some stupid way, I guess I was trying to prove to myself that I can do things without my husband. He got a new job recently that requires him to be out of town a lot, and I’m going to have to look after the baby myself a lot of the time.’
She heaved a sigh. ‘If I could pull off something as important as this alone, I’d know I could be alone as a mom, too. So...’ she trailed off, lifting her eyes slyly.
‘Damn, Dany,’ Angie said with a slight laugh, respect going through her. ‘You sure know how to guilt someone into doing something.’
‘Sorry. I inherited it from my mom. And since I’m going to be a mom...’ She lifted a shoulder.
The words shifted something inside Angie’s chest. She ignored it. ‘Oh, it wasn’t a criticism. I’m impressed. So, Ezra.’ She turned back to him. ‘What’s it going to be?’
Ezra gave her a steady look. Finally, he sighed.
‘Fine. But it’s just as much for the donuts as it is for the kids.’
* * *
‘I look like an idiot.’
‘You look fine,’ Angie replied dismissively. ‘I, on the other hand, am wearing a dress from that period in history where women were prohibited from looking attractive.’
A Wedding One Christmas Page 6
