by Miley Maine
“And as long as I live, you’ll never feel alone, baby,” I whispered, kissing her on the cheek. “If your folks don’t come on their own, I’ll go myself and bring them here to you.”
She giggled. “I won’t keep them hostages.”
“I love you. And we’ll get through this.”
Shifting up, she settled in my lap as she threw her arms around my neck. “I love you…so much.”
Her whispers sent a shiver down my spine.
In the few days that followed, I could see that Gigi was doing her best to manage her emotions, especially with the effect of hormones on her state of mind.
I, on the other hand, was doing my best to contain any outbursts of sadness or fear that surfaced from time to time. I could understand that she had been going through a lot of changes in recent months. We met, got married, and now her pregnancy was peaking. It was all taking its toll on her.
Instead of taking the occasional day off, I started taking the full weekends to enjoy quality time with her. I wanted to pamper her as much as I could because she was the perfect wife all day, every day.
One warm evening, we had decided to sit out in the garden after dinner with a couple of drinks and some music. The weather was perfect, the sky was clear, and the stars were shining above us.
It was breathtaking.
Soon, we heard a car approach and wondered who it could have been.
“Are you expecting anyone?” She straightened up, squinting to see the car in the dark distance.
“No.” I could only see the headlights of a car I didn’t recognize.
“Oh my God.” She strained from between gritted teeth, and I immediately stood up.
The driver pulled over at the driveway and got out, aggressively shoving the door shut behind him.
“Hey, Gigi,” he yelled. “What the hell?” He flailed his arms about.
I launched in his direction. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
“Danny, hold on,” she hollered. “That’s Matt.”
I glanced in her direction, and she had already gotten up and was marching in our direction.
“Stay back.” I stopped her with a gesture from my hand before turning back to the intruder. “What are you doing here?”
“Your wife, Sir, is pregnant with my baby. Mine.” He loudly scoffed, waving his hands in the air. “Wha—did she tell you it was yours?” Sarcasm dripped from his provocative grin.
“Matt!” she yelled, and once again, I took a step toward her and raised my hand again for her not to move closer.
“What do you want right now?” I tried to reason with him.
He jolted a step forward. “My legal right, that’s what I want,” he shouted. “I’m gonna be a part of this baby’s life whether you want it or not.”
“Hey—easy.” I mirrored his tone. I didn’t want to hurt him.
“Or what?” Pushing his chest forward, he approached aggressively.
“You are not my baby’s father.” Gigi’s defiant statement pierced through both our ears, and I could see his eyes widen in disbelief.
“I knew it. You little bi—”
His insult was nipped in the bud by the loud screeches of the two ranch rangers who arrived, pulling over on either side of his car. My night guards, Elliot and Jasper, jolted toward him, swiftly grabbing him by the arms and leading him back into his vehicle.
“Get outta here,” Jasper shouted as he slammed Matt’s door shut, forcing him to drive away as their larger trucks left him no space to escape.
“Sorry, Mr. Downton. He broke through the gates,” Elliot explained. “Sent for Pete to get ‘em fixed right away.”
“Thanks, Elliot. Have a good one.”
I couldn’t wait for him to leave so I could get back to Gigi. When I turned around, she was leaning forward in the chair with her face in her hands.
“Babe?” I ran toward her as I crouched down.
She quietly shook her head, refusing to show her face.
“Are you okay?” I caressed her back, urging her to look up at me.
When she finally lifted her head, her eyes were full of tears.
“I’m sorry,” she whined. “I’m so sorry.”
“This is ridiculous.” I gently pulled her up, walking her back inside. “Why are you apologizing?”
“He broke into the property because of me,” she whimpered.
I wrapped my arm around her shoulder as we stepped into the house. Locking the door behind us, I turned to look at her. She was visibly shaken by the encounter, and I became confused.
“He’s gone now, please calm down.”
She started pacing around the living room with both her hands over her head. I couldn’t understand the effect he had on her.
“Gigi.”
She didn’t respond.
“Gigi, look at me,” I commanded, and she stopped and locked eyes with me. “Do—” It was a tough question for me to voice. “Do you still love Matt?”
“Wha—no.” She raised her voice, frustration evident in her eyes. She quickly shook her head as her fingers grabbed her wavy locks, ruffling them about as she exhaled in irritation. “My mother.” She said it in spite. “Why would they tell him how to find me? Why?”
I helplessly slouched my shoulders, not knowing how to respond.
“That’s just vicious.” She strained, going back to pacing aimlessly as her face gradually turned red. “You know what?” In a daze, her eyes wandered through the space. “That’s it. I’m never telling my mom anything ever again. Ever.”
“Okay, don’t be so rash. You’re angry now—
“Angry?” She frantically turned to me. “That’s an understatement. I’m beyond furious. I just can’t trust them enough to even speak to them anymore.”
“Honey, they love you. They want what’s best for you.”
“What’s best for me does not involve Matt coming here trying to sneak back into my life.” She raised her index finger. “No.”
“They must’ve had a reason, babe.”
Unable to settle down, she shook her head in a frenzy. “I don’t care about their reasons. I was very clear,” she enunciated. “I don’t want Matt to know. How hard is that? Just don’t tell him.” She shrugged in disbelief.
Why was she that angry?
A lump was slowly forming in my throat.
And why did they tell him where she was? Did they know something that I didn’t? She was, after all, their daughter, and they knew her best.
Did they understand that she still loved him? That she would never be truly mine?
My thoughts spiraled down a dark abyss, and I couldn’t pull any brakes on the matter.
As I stared at her agitated state, I couldn’t help but wonder if she was angry because they told him, or because seeing him brought back feelings she was still struggling to let go of.
But now wasn’t the time. I needed to calm her down first before we could discuss it like adults.
Without further thought, I made my way over to the kitchen and started the boiler, silently preparing a cup of chamomile tea.
She followed me in, quietly hugging me from behind. As she wrapped her arms around my waist, she rested her head against my back, squeezing tightly.
“I’m sorry.” She spoke into the fabric of my shirt, her voice muffled. “I just didn’t want him to find me.”
I squeezed my eyes shut and said nothing. Taking a deep breath, I opened them again and placed the teabag into the cup. “It’s okay.” I turned around, handing her the cup. “Here. Drink this.”
Her eyes conveyed a great deal of gratitude. “You’re so good to me.”
But gratitude wasn’t what I wanted.
I ached to be sure that she loved me. And me alone.
Kissing her on the cheek, I took a step away. “I’ll draw you a bath.”
“Only if you’ll join me.”
Gigi, what did you really want?
Forcing a smile on my face, I walked out of the
kitchen and went upstairs.
As water filled the tub, I stared at the bubbles that were steadily forming. The bubbling up of scented soap mirrored my feelings that were boiling under the calm surface I struggled to maintain.
Matt was a good-looking man with a nice car and a good sense of fashion. He was no cowboy, but he seemed to have a good job. Aside from his exaggerated temper, I didn’t know much about his character.
Gigi had said that life with him was boring.
Did she lie to me?
Was there more to that story?
I shook my head and scratched the back of my neck in an attempt to kick the toxic thoughts out of my mind. They weren’t going to make the situation any better.
“Howdy, Cowboy.” Her voice pulled me back to the moment.
She was standing at the doorway, leaning against the wooden frame with a smile I knew she was faking.
I mustered a brief titter and glanced at the tub. “It’s naked time.”
Without preludes, she slid the straps of her dress down her shoulders, letting gravity pull down the weight of the fabric that was covering her body just a second ago. As it hit the floor, she took a step and then another, slowly approaching me.
“Your turn.” The corner of her lips curled up.
As I started to undress, I could feel her eyes on me, examining every inch of my body as I moved.
What was she trying to do?
My troubled mind refused to let it rest.
I took her hand and let her step inside first, before following suit. I sat in with my back leaning on the cold surface, letting her settle in front of me and rest against my chest.
“This is nice.” She took a deep breath.
“Because you’re here.” My hand fiddled with her hair, wrapping a lock around my finger.
“Hmm,” she exhaled calmly.
A few moments in, I decided that I was going to drive myself crazy if I held it in any longer.
“Gigi?” I whispered into her ear that was only a couple of inches away from my lips.
“Hmm?”
“You know you can tell me anything.” I tried to make my voice as calm and soothing as possible, pushing down all my worries and fears.
She threw her head back to lean on my shoulder. “Of course.”
“Did you react that way only because you were mad at your folks?” The smell of her hair was starting to intoxicate me.
“Yes. Terribly mad.”
“Do you still have feelings for him?” The intimate moment prompted my vulnerability to take over, and I was fighting against every instinct urging me to explode.
She raised her hand, her fingers reaching for my cheek before they found their way into my hair, and she pulled my head to press against hers. “I don’t,” she whispered. “I promise you. I swear.”
“You don’t want him anymore?” I insisted, fully aware of the bitter insecurities I was shamelessly baring for her to see.
She shook her head against mine. The warmth of her face radiated through to mine. “Do you know why I said that he wasn’t the father of my child?”
My arms hung on to her, wrapped around her naked waist as they held on for dear life. “Why?”
“Because I want you to be. I’m the mommy, and you’re the daddy. That’s all I really want.”
“Yeah?” My lips couldn’t but kiss her ear, her jawline, her cheek.
“Cross my heart.”
Her sweet, tender voice rang through the nonexistent space between us, directly finding its path into my ears. As my mind grappled to believe her, my heart was already reveling in the reality I wanted so much to deem real.
Nothing I could do in that instant could possibly move me from where I wanted to be. Right then and there, naked, with her in the tub.
The baby that was growing inside of her was not actually mine, but I promised myself to love and nurture it until it was. In all the sense of the word.
Gigi was everything I had never dreamed I deserved, and if raising that baby with her was all I needed to do to keep her, then so be it. And one day, who knew, we could have another child that was half me and half her.
For now, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, my heart pounding in my chest at the thought of spending the rest of my life with the woman I absolutely adored. My body, as much as I tried to control it, was not cooperating since every inch of it wanted nothing but her, and her alone.
Our life together may not have started in the smoothest of ways, but something inside was telling me that we could work to make it better.
Aside from Matt’s rude intrusion, I had no reason to complain or doubt Gigi’s intentions. Her mother, on the other hand, seemed determined to tear my happiness apart.
Perhaps she told Matt because she thought it was unfair for him to not know that he was having a son or a daughter. Or maybe she liked him better and wanted Gigi to end up with him instead.
Yet, in spite of it all, here we were. Two lovers entwined in a confined space that still felt too large. I wished I could take her away, where nobody could find us. But that wouldn’t have been fair to her, to the baby, or to the ranch.
After all the hardships I was forced to survive, this was yet another test handed to me by life’s cruel hand.
If I wanted to keep my wife, I had to believe and trust her. I had to have faith.
She must have fallen asleep with me cradling her like that since she wasn’t moving as the water got colder.
I softly kissed the side of her face to wake her up, and she moved a little before mumbling with a low voice. Carefully getting up, I pulled her up with me until she was fully aware.
Without uttering a word, she threw her arms around me, hugging me tightly as water dripped from our interlaced limbs.
“I love you, Cowboy,” she murmured into my wet chest, her eyelids struggling to stay apart.
“I love you too, Mama.” I brushed away a tress of hair that was covering her forehead. “Let’s dry you up and get you to bed.”
“Mmmm.” She nodded, lazily reaching for the towel.
As I watched her get dressed and get under the covers, I once again recited a little prayer to the cosmos.
I wished for her to have a long, happy life…with me.
Chapter Ten
Gigi
The only dark cloud that seemed to hover over my life with Danny was my constant feeling that he didn’t believe I truly loved him.
While our idyllic marriage seemed to work perfectly, with a dynamic that flowed seamlessly and without any major clashes, I would still catch a shadow of solemnness in his eyes every so often.
It broke my heart.
As the pregnancy progressed, he became more and more attentive. He would help me around the house, in the kitchen, and even as I did some gardening—which I had recently grown fond of.
Every free moment he had was invested in me. He was behaving like the perfect husband and the ideal father-to-be. A little too much, in fact, that I worried he was trying to overcompensate for something.
Whenever I told him I loved him, a swift glimpse of sadness would appear like a ghost on his face, before he would quickly mask it with a smile and a sweet response.
It would only last a fraction of a second. But I always caught it.
He was like an open book to me.
Making sure that I wouldn’t let this baby take over our lives, I made sure Danny understood that I still wanted him to do things that made him happy. I insisted he would still see his friends at the bar, do a little reading when he had the time, and go horse riding every day.
I knew the latter was one of his favorite things to do, and that it helped him clear his mind when the thoughts just wouldn’t stop tormenting him.
This afternoon, he went riding before dinner.
I sat on the living room couch with a book and a cup of tea, trying to immerse myself in the fiction in my hands until he got back home.
Why couldn’t he just accept that I loved him?
&nbs
p; That I was truly happy to be his wife?
That I couldn’t wait for more years of our existence in the same orbit, keeping each other company and giving endless love through the ups and downs of life?
My stomach churned, and I knew that the beverage must have disturbed it, so I put it down on the table and resumed reading. I was exhausted as I mostly was these days, and focusing on the book was taking a lot of energy.
I turned the page, and my stomach cramped once more, this time radiating downward as the ache surged below my navel. Pulling my back away from the chair, I straightened up as I paid attention to where the pain was coming from. I couldn’t exactly tell.
Many women spoke of fake labor pains and false alarms toward the end, so I didn’t want to freak myself out by worrying too much. When it passed, I sat back and relaxed, picking up my book once more.
The spasm that followed felt like a sudden attack, prompting me to abruptly drop the book and lean forward in agony. “Ow,” I whined as I shifted in my seat. They said that sometimes changing positions helped with those pangs.
But this time, it wasn’t going away.
My breathing began to quicken as I started to panic.
Was I in labor? All alone in a ranch house in the middle of nowhere?
Even Michael was about a ten-minute walk away. I couldn’t possibly walk that far in my state, and it was getting dark out there.
The contraction subsided, and I immediately got up, rushing toward the window as my eyes searched for a sign of Art or Danny.
They were nowhere to be found.
I marched toward the phone and dialed the doctor’s number. The ringing lasted forever, with no sign of life on the other side of the line. Finally, someone picked up.
“Hello?” It was his assistant.
“Mandy, It’s Gigi Downton. I think I may be in labor.”
“Oh, shoot,” she tittered. “Doc just left.”
“What do you mean left?” I was flustered.
“He walked out, ‘bout three minutes ago. Briefcase and everything.”
“Well, can’t you reach him?”
“I’ll sure try honey. But his car’s at the shop. Be best if someone came to pick him up.”
“Just call me back when you reach him.”
