by Miley Maine
Still shaking her head in disappointment, she whispered, “What’s gotten into her? I don’t understand.” She sighed, turning back to the pot. “Anyway, I realized it was a bad idea. I called Billy and got up to leave. When I opened the door and let Billy out, I heard her yell from behind me, reminding me that Matt was going to receive her letter if he hadn’t already and that he was gonna be in town any day now.”
She shrugged and scoffed before continuing sarcastically, “She thinks her precious Matty wouldn’t like you putting his child’s life in danger. Unbelievable.”
I saw her head tilt downward and didn’t know if she was silently crying. Taking the few steps that separated us, I hugged her from behind. As my arms encircled her waist, she threw her head back, resting it against my shoulder. I inhaled, unable to resist the flowery smell of her hair.
“Do you think my mother’s insane?” she whispered.
I kissed her behind the ear before mirroring her tone. “I just think she loves you too much to believe that I’m good enough for you.”
“Well,” she turned, wrapping her arms around my neck as she gazed into my eyes, “you’re better than anything I’d ever dreamed of. And if that makes her angry, so be it.”
Even in her frustration and disappointment, she wanted to reassure me. My angel was far too kind for her own good. I expected her to yell, to scream, to stomp her feet in anger, and rue the day. But instead, she was keeping her cool, smiling sweetly at me and cooking my favorite dinner.
I wanted to help her and change the subject. “Have you told Billy yet?”
“No.” She tilted her head. “I wanted us to do it together.”
“Where is he now?”
“Playing in his room.”
“Shall we, then?”
“Let’s do it!”
Turning off the stove, Gigi enthusiastically followed me as we made our way upstairs. At the child’s room door, I took her hand in mine, and we stepped inside together, grinning as we saw him sitting down on the rug, playing with his new train.
“My man,” I began, descending to sit down across from him.
Gigi followed, “Billy, we have some news.”
His bright, innocent eyes regarded us, slightly lost since he hadn’t really heard the word ‘news’ in context before.
“Mommy’s pregnant. Do you know what that means?”
He shrugged, and Gigi giggled, “You know how your friend Sally from the park has a baby brother?”
“Yeah?” He scratched his head.
“Well, Mommy’s gonna give you a baby brother or sister soon.”
His eyebrows shot up as his eyes widened. “Really? How big will it be?”
I chuckled. “At first, it’s gonna be a little baby like Sally’s brother. But then it will learn to walk and talk like you, and you can play together.”
“Woah!” He propped himself up on his knees with excitement, his smile widening into a grin from ear to ear. “What will you call it?”
Gigi smiled, quickly glancing at me. “That depends; we still don’t know if it’s gonna be a boy or a girl.”
“I want a boy!” he announced.
“We can’t really choose, Honey. Besides, Sally’s a girl, and you like her, don’t you?”
“Can a girl ride a pony?”
“Of course,” I reassured him. “A girl can do anything a boy can,” I scoffed, teasing Gigi. “Almost anything.”
“Hey!” she objected.
Leaning over, I whispered, “Well, you can’t pee standing up, can you?”
Stifling a laugh, she tittered, and her shoulders shook as she placed her palm over her face, faking a glare in my direction.
“Girls can do anything they want, Billy. And you’re gonna be the big brother, so you can teach them everything.”
“When will the baby get here?” He shuffled closer.
Gigi’s eyes rolled about pensively. “Mmm, in about eight months.”
“Will it sleep here with me?”
“Jesus, Boy, you sure have a lotta questions,” I chortled, remembering Gigi’s statement about the amount of inquiries he would have.
We spent some time explaining things to Billy, taking turns as we tried to make him understand that we were a team, a unit, a family, no matter what.
After our little session, we went back downstairs and finished preparing dinner. As we ate together, Billy began to obsess over names he would want for his expected sibling.
It was heartwarming and absolutely adorable.
When we were done, it was around nine o’clock. I wanted to help Gigi with the dishes, but she said she would much rather have me put Billy to bed.
“Daddy?” he said as I tucked him in. “Why’s Grandma always angry with Mommy?”
I sighed, figuring that he must have heard their little argument earlier at the hotel. “Old people sometimes don’t understand things like we do, Billy. They want us to do things their way.”
“But Grandpa’s old, and he never yells.”
“I said sometimes. They’re not all like that.”
“Will she yell at me and the baby, too?”
“Not as long as I’m here, Buddy. I’ll never let ‘er yell at you.”
“Will she come and live with us again when the baby comes?”
“I don’t think so. The house will be crowded then.”
“Good,” he smiled. “I love Grandma and Grandpa, but I don’t want anyone to yell at you and Mommy.”
“Do you love us?”
He quickly nodded.
“Both of us?”
He nodded again with a bigger smile.
“I love you too, Billy. Very much.” Leaning over, I kissed his forehead and secured the covers before getting up.
As I reached the door and flicked the light switch off, I heard him say, “I can’t wait to meet the baby.”
I smiled in the dark, knowing that he wouldn’t see the emotional expression on my face. “Sweet dreams, Buddy.”
“Sweet dreams, Daddy.”
As I walked down the hall towards the stairs, my eyes had welled up and I didn’t know what to do with all the sentiments that had suddenly emerged.
Billy wasn’t my biological son, but I loved him beyond words. And the fact that he was aware of his grandmother’s hostility was breaking my heart. Why would an innocent boy like him have to worry about the actions of a grown woman who didn’t know the first thing about respect?
I trod softly as I went downstairs, an idea storming in my mind. I wasn’t yet ready to share it with anyone, but it was beginning to make perfect sense to me now. I wanted to protect our son with all my heart and everything I owned. I didn’t want Rita or Matt or anyone to be able to hurt him or make him feel inferior or helpless.
And I knew just how to do it.
But now wasn’t the time.
I heard the clanking of dishes and pots being washed in the kitchen, and I hurried to assist. Gigi was already working on the last item when I arrived.
“Hey.” I stood beside her.
“Is he asleep?”
“Yup. Need help?”
“I’m done.”
“Want some chamomile tea?”
“Oh, boy. I can’t drink, can I?”
I shrugged. “You tell me.”
“Chamomile tea would do,” he sighed, forging a frown as her shoulders drooped.
Giggling, I wrapped my arms around her from the side and held her tightly. She bent her waist and playfully shoved me with her hip. “Get boilin’, Daddy!”
“Oh—” I drew it out. “That sounds naughty.” I made my way over to the boiler and proceeded to fill it.
“Yeah? Well, get used to it.” She softly came up to me, rubbing her chest against my arm. “Remember the effect those hormones had on me last time?” Her voice was suggestive.
“Mmm,” I recalled a few delicious encounters. “Now…do you think it matters if it’s a boy or a girl?”
She humorously slapped my shoulder with her
palm. “That’s an old wives’ tale.”
Her giggle echoed in the air, somehow making anything seem possible.
Chapter Twenty
Gigi
When Michael dropped us off at the house, I was absolutely livid with my mother.
Not only had she broken my heart by not being happy for me, but she had the audacity to threaten me with Matt’s possible return. She didn’t worry that Billy would hear her, she didn’t give a damn about my father’s pleas to stop…she didn’t even bother with the fact that she was ruining my happiness with her thoughtlessness.
She simply didn’t care.
I sent Billy up to play because I needed to calm my nerves and get dinner started before Danny arrived. After all, I carried the greatest news for him, and it was supposed to be a joyous occasion, worthy of a proper celebration.
Still in my clothes, I marched toward the liquor cabinet in the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of wine. As my hand reached for the opener, I remembered that I was now carrying a child in the making inside of me. Drinking at this early stage wasn’t exactly a good idea.
With a bitter sigh, I shoved the bottle back into the pantry and pushed the door shut, my eyes wandering around aimlessly until they landed on the big window in the living room.
I remembered how Mandy had once spoken about breathing exercises that she resorted to when she was stressed. Without much thought, I rushed out and sat cross-legged on the floor, facing the green view outside.
I closed my eyes and began to breathe. I inhaled deeply and held it in until the count of three, just as I recalled her instructions, before exhaling audibly through my mouth.
“You should focus on the air being pushed out between your lips, carrying all the frustration with it,” she said.
A couple of minutes later, my heartbeats had gone back to their usual pace, and my hands were steady as rocks.
Much to my surprise, it worked.
Okay, we’re alright. I thought to myself as I pushed my weight up, standing tall as I strutted back into the kitchen, adamant on giving Danny the news with the cheeriest vibe I could possibly muster.
Just a few moments into beginning to cook his favorite dish, he came home with an expression of concern all over his face. I knew he worried about my visit to the folks, and he was right about that.
When I gave him the news, he was happy as a little kid on Christmas morning. It was the best feeling ever. And as we decided to tell Billy that he was about to become a big brother, I shoved all the bitter feelings aside, determined to make the night as delightful as possible.
That was until Danny wanted to have a heart-to-heart.
After dinner, he made us a couple of cups of soothing chamomile tea, and we sat out on the porch under the twinkling stars. While I took the first sip, I noticed that his eyes were carefully scanning me.
“What?” I smiled.
He shrugged. “I wanna know how you feel.”
“I’m happy, I’m so happy.”
“How you really feel. About today,” he insisted.
“Oh, that,” I sighed, gazing into the shadowy distance. “I—I’m confused,” I whispered. “My mother’s either a lunatic or just flat out evil. In both cases, I’m not sure if I ever wanna see her again.” I turned to look into his eyes. “Does that make me a bad person?”
“Am I a bad person for escaping my father’s abuse and never seeing him again?”
“Of course not.” I lowered my gaze.
“At some point, Gigi, you gotta draw the line. You gotta look out for yourself and your life.”
“It’s just—she keeps making it harder and harder. I actually believe that she did send Matt that letter, and my mind fails at understanding what she hopes for at this point.”
“She’s only trying to make things harder, but I can assure you, that last desperate trick o’ hers is gonna fail. Just you wait.” The confidence in his voice baffled me.
“How? What if he comes here demanding to take Billy?”
“He won’t be able to…” His eyes became deadly serious. “Because I’ve decided to officially adopt him.”
“What?” My eyes grew bigger, and I could feel my heart race.
Tilting his head, he reservedly smiled. “Well, you once said that you wanted him to grow up a Downton. Isn’t that really what you want.”
“Yes.” My exhale carried my disbelief. “But—” I shook my head. “I can’t go as far as to expect you t—”
“I think we’re already there, Baby.” His face reflected a great deal of tenderness as his smile shifted. “I think of Billy as my own son. I always have, since the day I received him with my own hands. I can’t imagine any other man loving him as much as I do.”
Still unable to fathom the extent of goodness this man carried within him, my eyes began to well up as I couldn’t contain my emotions. It was far too early for the hormones to kick in, and this…this felt more genuine than anything else.
“You really mean that, don’t you?” My lips trembled as I tilted my head.
“I swear to you,” he whispered.
A thousand little clouds of intermingling thoughts hovered in my mind while I tried to convince myself that our new reality could become as peaceful as my heart desired.
As the days went by, Danny and his lawyer worked tirelessly and quickly to finalize the adoption papers before the old boyfriend’s hypothetical return.
My mother, on the other hand, was beginning to lose hope as she waited and waited for a word from Matt, to no avail. He simply thwarted her malicious plan by basically doing nothing.
She didn’t speak to me of the matter since all my calls were now exclusively to my father. I didn’t want to talk to her, but I still wanted to know that they were all right.
A couple of weeks into their stay at the hotel, my dad’s cheerful voice greeted me through the line when I called to check in on him.
“And how’s the little champ?” As always, he sweetly asked about Billy.
“He’s good. He really loves that train you gave him.”
“Still not bored of it yet?”
“That one’s taking its time,” I giggled.
“Good, good,” he tittered before clearing his throat. “Listen, Baby, I wanna tell you something, and I hope you understand that it’s for the best.”
My heart dropped. “Sure. What is it?”
“I—uh,” he exhaled. “I’ve finally convinced your mother that we should move back home. I don’t like any of the houses we’ve seen, and we can’t live in a hotel forever. Besides, I could use the familiarity of being with my old pals from time to time.”
“Oh.” I was happy that my father was finally beginning to voice his true desires. “And you say she’s convinced? That’s a miracle.”
“Let’s face it, Honey. That Matt she’s obsessed with was never good enough for you. And I think he realized that when he saw where you are now and met your husband. Anyway, I could tell that he was never going to be a good father for Billy. He’s not the kind of man who’d do well on something he didn’t want to begin with.”
“Hm.” I didn’t need convincing. I was already aware of all that.
“So…” he continued. “I think she finally realized that he’s never gonna come, and accepted the fact that you and Danny are forever. It took a few minutes of me reciting every name of every woman she’s ever played Bridge with to make her come around,” he chuckled.
I wasn’t going to lie; I was relieved. My mother moving farther away was the best of ideas, and I could still visit them on my own terms.
“When do you leave?”
“Tomorrow morning,” he asserted. “I wanted to see if there’s anything you need before we go.”
“Oh, Daddy. I am gonna miss you.”
“And you’ll be visiting, of course. When all of this blows over, and you have the baby, I’m sure things would be much easier then.”
“Yeah, I hope so.” I paused. “Do you need anything? Anything at all?�
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“No, Honey,” he chuckled. “We still got the money from the old house, and I’m sure we won’t be needing much after that.”
“Say, how about you and I get together for coffee in the morning? Billy and I would love to see you before you go.”
“I’d love that, Sweetie.”
The next morning, I took Billy to a café next to the hotel downtown, and we saw my father. He gave him a new coloring book and made him promise to bring it with him the next time we visited them, fully colored within the lines.
As much as I was going to miss my father, I still had a long way to go in terms of reconciling with my mother’s horrid actions.
When I saw Danny over lunch, I told him everything. He was, expectedly, more relieved than I was. But he also remained the perfect gentleman.
“I think we should send them a going away gift.” He took a bite of his sandwich.
I tilted my head. “Like what?”
“C’mon.” He narrowed his eyes. “A little more cash won’t hurt.”
I parted my lips, but before I could say anything, he continued, “Let’s think of it as ‘thank you’ money for helping with Billy all those years.”
“After all she’s done to you?” I shook my head in disbelief.
“It ain’t for her,” he took a sip of coffee, “it’s for Russell, really. I love the man.”
I smiled. “You’re too good for words.”
My husband truly did want to send them enough money to live comfortably and not have reason to complain. Recognizing the logic behind his idea and the charitable streak in his personality, I eventually agreed.
After that, things settled down as I busied myself with writing and preparing the baby’s new room.
As the months went by, my pregnancy began to show. Our friends held a sweet baby shower at our house, giving us a day we would never forget. The affection and support everyone showed resonated with me—they loved Billy and I because we were Danny’s family, and they adored him, it was crystal clear.
And for that, I was grateful.
A few days after Tanner and Mandy’s wedding—which I was thankfully able to attend in a long, violet silk gown that showed off my big bump—the familiar cramps rudely announced the beginning of labor in the middle of a warm September night.
