“Sorry,” she says, looking demure. She pulls back and lies against the pillows. “I know it would be prudent to go slow and be gentle with each other…we’ve been through so much this week. I’ve just missed you terribly.” She gives me the look…the hungry, insatiable one.
Whoa.
“That isn’t helping,” I say as I internally fight the ache for her. I know she’s still so shaky.
She puts her hands over her face. “I’m sorry,” she says sounding as frustrated as I feel.
“I’ll tell you what. I’m going to get up for a minute to cool off. I’m going to get some water…I think I’ll do that…yeah, that sounds good.” Now I sound like I’m trying to convince myself. “Can I get you anything?”
She nods. “Okay, could you get me some water, too? You know, I’m kind of cold so I’m going to wrap myself up in your blanket.”
I shake out the blanket and drape it over her. She smiles happily. Once in the kitchen, I pull two bottles of water from the fridge then lean over the sink and splash water on my face.
I have to take a couple of minutes thinking about random stuff until I calm down enough to rejoin her. I’m just about to head back when it occurs to me that Brooke probably hasn’t eaten. Before heading back to the bedroom, I root through the drawer full of take out menus from places that deliver in my area. I pull out the Middle Eastern, Italian, and Thai ones to show her. I’m not leaving the house as long as she’s here with me.
When I return to her, she’s crawled fully under the covers.
“Brooke?” I whisper. She’s still as a mouse and her eyes are closed. “Brooke, are you asleep?”
I’m met with sweet silence. I take the remote and lower the bed and she doesn’t even stir. I realize as the blanket falls back, that she’s holding something. With closer inspection, I realize it’s the picture I framed of us all dressed up at the Emmys. It takes some effort to pry it out of her hands and set it back on the nightstand.
Smiling, I kick off my shoes and strip down to my boxers and T-shirt before crawling in to hold my girl.
While she sleeps I hold her tightly, rubbing light circles down her back and pulling my fingers through her hair. For the most part she sleeps peacefully, but every once in a while her body tenses and her expression looks troubled. It pains me to know that for all I’ve suffered this week, I’m so much better now, yet Brook is still suffering. I fear it will take a long time for her to forgive herself for her part in our drama.
• • •
About an hour later when she stirs, I take it as an opportunity to wake her up. If I don’t, she’ll never sleep tonight. “Brooke,” I whisper, brushing her cheek with my fingertips. “Wake up, sleepy head.”
She blinks slowly three times until she realizes where she is. The most beautiful smile lights up her face. “I fell asleep,” she says with a yawn and a stretch.
“You needed it. You were exhausted,” I acknowledge.
“I haven’t really slept all week. That felt so great. Did you sleep too?”
“No, I just watched you. I couldn’t have anyway…I’ve never been more awake.”
She smiles. “Are you hungry? I’m starving.”
I pull the menus off the nightstand. She eagerly scans them before I order enough Thai food to feed a small army.
We have a picnic right on the bed eating straight out of the cartons. In between bites of Pad Thai noodles she surprises me.
“I guess I should go home after this. I need to start figuring out my plan.”
“It’s Friday night, Brooke. You can figure out your plan on Monday. Why don’t you stay with me this weekend?”
“You want me to?” Her lips curl into a sweet smile. “You’re right, we need time to just be together doing nothing,” she admits.
“Yeah, just be together. What was the first part of your plan, anyway?”
“Well I need to buy some office supply kind of stuff, get my office set up at home and reach out to some of my contacts. I also have to send a formal letter to all of my Sketch Republic peers about leaving the company to pursue other interests.”
I wince for a moment, feeling bad for her. I’m sure that’s going to be a hard letter to send. “I’ll tell you what, let’s go to the office supply place tomorrow ‘cause I need to get stuff too. Then we can get you set up so you can hit the ground running on Monday. You can bring your laptop over if you want to work on the letter and send emails before then.”
“You’d do that with me?”
“Of course. If you’re nice, I’ll even share my wireless with you.”
She grins, leans over, and kisses me. “Everything’s going to be all right, isn’t it?”
“Yes. We’ll make sure of it.”
That’s how it goes…I push, she pulls back and then we meet half way.
• • •
The next day, we’re at Staples, the office superstore, considering the selection of Post-it notes when she surprises me again.
“I started seeing a therapist,” she offhandedly mentions as she throws the three-inch, six-pack in the cart.
“You did?” I stutter. “Where’d you find a therapist?”
“Erika recommended her. Her name is Judy and she’s really great.”
“I don’t know much about that stuff. Do you just sit around and talk?”
We push our cart down to the file folders section while she thinks about my question.
“Well yes, but she directs it, kind of leads me into the stuff I need to work on. You know, issues with my parents that led to my behavior now, that kind of stuff.”
“Do you talk about me?”
“Well, I’ve only seen her twice, but yeah. I talked about you a lot.”
“What did she say?”
“That you sounded like an amazing and supportive partner.”
I grin. “I like her.”
“She’s going to help me get over what happened, Nathan. I want to be the best partner I can be for you.”
I don’t know if it’s what she’s said, or the fact that we’ve agreed to share a shopping cart and all that implies, or that I’m a little worked up to see Brooke in yoga pants again, but I grab her and kiss her in the middle of the paper aisle. It’s one of those long, endless kisses where the world falls away and she’s all that exists. The stock boy, who’s trying to get to the neon colored card stock for a customer, has to clear his throat to interrupt us since we’re blocking him. Brooke giggles; we scoot over, and continue on.
Later that afternoon we’re on my bed again, this time with our laptops and other work related stuff. I’m doing research on the internet for a B-Girl story idea while Brooke goes through her emails looking for a show treatment that she’d been sent a while back. Her phone, which is dangling from the edge of her overturned purse, suddenly starts vibrating. It buzzes through three complete cycles, yet she doesn’t respond.
I look up at her. “Aren’t you going to answer that?”
She looks over at me and shrugs.
“The voicemail box must be full. That’s why it keeps ringing,” I explain. “You should at least empty it.”
“But what if I’m not ready to hear the messages?” she asks, looking uncomfortable.
“Well then don’t listen, I guess.” I think about the desperate call I left her. It must be there with all the rest of her calls. “But you’re going to have to do something by Monday if you’re going to start making business calls. People are going to have to be able to call you and leave a message.”
She lets out a long sigh. “I know you’re right, I’m just kind of scared of what the messages say.”
“Do you want me to listen to them for you? I can be your screener.”
She smiles softly. “No, I can’t ask you to do that. Besides, this could be a step forward for me.”
“Yes, it will be a step forward,” I agree.
She studies me carefully. “Will you stay with me, though? In case I need moral support?”
“Of
course.”
She lies back on the pillow and taps the keys to access her voicemail. I take her free hand in mine, and although I can’t hear the messages, I lay back as well, so I can watch her reactions.
As she listens to the first message she rolls her eyes. “My mom,” she informs me shaking her head.
“One down…five thousand, three hundred and forty-nine to go,” she teases.
The next few seem inconsequential. Then her expression gets dark. “Arnauld,” she shares.
My hand tightens over hers. She takes a deep breath. “What?” I ask.
“Nothing really. He’s just demanding that I come back immediately. This was Monday right after the meeting. He’s so angry.”
I nod and watch her expression. Her thumb hits the delete button without hesitation. It’s a whole other matter with the next call. She watches me with wide eyes as she listens. When a tear slides down her cheek, she closes her eyes and rolls on her side away from me.
“What, Brooke?” I ask as I move toward her. I notice that she’s dropped the phone on the bedspread as she curls into herself. I gently push down on her shoulder until she rolls back toward me.
“I can’t believe you left that message and I never heard it,” she says, her voice sorrowful. “You thought I didn’t love you anymore. It’s so heartbreaking.”
“I was really freaked out,” I admit. “I couldn’t understand why you hadn’t contacted me.”
“I hurt you so much, Nathan.”
“Yeah. I’d kind of lost it that day when I didn’t hear from you. As each day passed there were points I got really angry, and other times incredibly hurt. The worst part was just not knowing.”
“You needed me, and I wasn’t there. I wish I’d been strong enough to stay…to be by your side,” she says with regret.
“Me too,” I respond honestly. “What matters now is that you’re here. That counts, and you’ve promised to work it out and stick by my side no matter what we have to face moving forward.”
“But I’ll always feel like it wasn’t enough. I should’ve been there for you.”
“You did the best you could. For God’s sake, the whole week you were trying to help me.” I ease off the bed and set my laptop on the dresser, then take hers and do the same. Her phone joins them. When I crawl back on the bed I pull her in my arms.
“Time for a break,” I say softly.
“Good idea,” she agrees, running her hand over my chest and she cuddles closer. “You know, I don’t want that stupid phone anymore. I want a new phone, and I’m picking it out this time.”
That-a-girl. “Cool. Let’s go shopping tomorrow after brunch with my folks.” I look down at her and study her expression. “What?”
“Are you sure they want to see me…I mean, after everything that happened? You said that they know everything.”
“Are you kidding? Yeah, they know everything and that’s why they’re probably building a shrine to you at their house as I speak. They’re crazy about you for the kind of woman you are. It’s not just because I’m over the moon in love.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I promise.”
“Are Curtis and Billie coming?” she asks, looking worried.
“No, they’re not,” I assure her.
“Yeah, well, I want to see your parents. I want to thank them for taking care of you. You know…if I prove myself over time, maybe they’ll adopt me.”
I laugh. “I think they already have.”
Her eyes are wide, and her expression hopeful. “I can’t believe how much better I feel than I did yesterday. It’s like I’m getting my strength back.”
“Now you’re sounding like the B-Girl I know and love.” I look down and see that she’s grinning. “What?” I jiggle her.
“I’m just having a happy moment right now. For the first time in a long time, I feel the thrill of what might be right around the corner. Just think how things could be…B-Girl might be a big hit, I could find work that I love outside of corporate animation, we can take fun trips and be together without anything in our way.”
“It’s pretty exciting,” I agree, loving her positive attitude.
“You know something… you animate me, Nathan. It’s as if you’ve brought the real Brooke to life.”
I think of the hundreds of sketches I’ve done of her as I went from admiration to infatuation, from obsession, to pure and blissful love. The real Brooke was always there, she just needed someone to believe in her.
But will she ever see what she has given me?
Before I met Brooke, I was a shell: smooth inside with jagged edges, a hollow form waiting to be filled. Now I feel a life force surging through me. Her love has made me believe that I can make my life whatever I want it to be.
…and she thinks I animated her.
I run my fingers though her hair. “I could always tell who the true Brooke was. You always have been and always will be my dream girl,” I reply, smiling.
My words seem to light her up from within. She climbs up on top of me, straddling me with her hands pressed into my shoulders. “We’re going to do great things, Nathan.”
She’s so excited, so I get excited…but maybe not how I should. I try to shift so she doesn’t notice how excited I’m getting. I mean, she’s got yoga pants and a tight T-shirt on for God’s sake. How much does she think I can take?
“Brooke?” I groan. Is it my imagination or did she just grind over me?
“Yes,” she whispers, leaning forward so her breasts skim my chest.
“I’m getting too excited, you’ve got to stop. Remember, we’re going slow…” Surely she knows what she’s doing to me.
“Maybe I can’t stop. Maybe I don’t want to,” she offers, her mouth pursed in a pout.
“Brooke,” I moan. “I’m sure you can tell how desperately I want you.” My eyebrows knit together, as it takes everything I have to restrain myself. “I’m trying to be respectful and give you your space and all, but I can’t take much more of this.”
Evidently my speech only spurs her on. She pulls her shirt up over her head. If this is an endurance test, I’m going to fail. “Brooke?”
She’s watching me, almost challenging me to stop her. The bra is discarded next.
Oh my God. Her breasts…her perfect breasts. I feel the fire move from my groin all the way up my chest and across my shoulders.
“Brooke, you can’t do this stuff and expect me not to make love to you. That’s cruel.”
“I know what I said earlier, but I want you, Nathan…so much.”
“Like, want me, as in…have me inside of you?”
“Yes, I need to feel you inside of me.”
“Are you sure?” I ask. I hesitate, grappling with the physical pain of my need for her, yet wanting to make sure she’s emotionally ready.
She gives me a feral look and grinds again. I see strength in her eyes.
She’s ready.
She slides off the bed and I watch her carefully to see if she wavers. She quickly slides down her yoga pants and thong. I pry my jeans off and throw them across the room. Her fierce look of desire is steadfast. Maybe this is just what we need.
“Oh, my,” she comments, smiling at my erection once it’s free.
“Yeah, I’m a little excited. I’ve missed you a lot…I’ve missed this.”
She grins. “I’ve missed this, too.”
She wraps her fingers around me and strokes several times before climbing back up to straddle my hips. She bites her lip and her eyes become dark and sultry as she lifts up, then slowly, so slowly…sinks down over me.
“Oh, oh,” I moan. My heart is beating wildly.
As I gaze back up at her, I realize that her eyes are wet with tears. I wonder if this is too much, but then she takes a deep breath and opens her heart wide.
“I love you, Nathan,” she whispers as she curves over and kisses me tenderly.
“Oh, Brooke…”
Before she kisses me again, she re
sts her hand over my heart. “You’re everything to me.”
In that moment, I realize that every difficult part of our journey I’d do again if it meant we’d end up here.
“I love you so much. You’re my everything, too,” I say.
I reach for her, stroking her soft hips with my fingers. I fear if I don’t hold on I may shatter from all the emotion as we kiss slowly, languidly, soulfully. I’m overwhelmed with desire and my hips instinctively begin to rock against her. Her eyes roll back with pleasure before she refocuses and gradually starts to move.
Her hips swivel and I’m undone for the heat, and wetness, and look of longing in her eyes. I let out a low moan. I don’t know when anything has ever felt so good.
“What, baby?” she whispers.
“I’m just so glad we aren’t going slow after all.”
She pauses and sighs.
“I just learned something else to tell Judy,” she states out of the blue.
“What’s that?” I gasp, wondering how she can even think such a thing in the middle of this erotic scene.
“That when it comes to my feelings for you, going slow is not an option.”
Perhaps we were never meant to slow down.
“Well, don’t fight your natural instincts, B-Girl.”
I love her passionately, with all my super powers.
I love her tenderly, still mindful of her fragile heart.
I love her completely, until she understands the majestic way she has filled me, heart and soul.
Our climax unravels what was twisted up, showering us with fragments of light and sensation. She is completely open and brilliant as she pulls me in. I surrender to her open arms, falling deeper into her.
My B-Girl’s back…and she’s mine.
Animate Me / Chapter Thirty-One / A Picket Fence and Pixar
“There are a lot of choices here, just pick one! Pick one so we can start!” ~Marlinxxx
It’s a beautiful Sunday morning when I take Brooke’s hand and gently pull her toward my parents’ front door. As we pass through the threshold, Mom walks down the hall toward us, and calls out to Dad, “Arthur, Nathan and Brooke are here.”
Animate Me Page 39
