I know, he wrote as he walked. That was pretty fucking good.
No, not that, she wrote back right away, and he paused as a bicyclist skirted past him, yelling at him to watch where he was going.
I mean, that was good. But that’s not what I’m talking about. Did you check your email?
No?
Talia’s coming.
He stared at his phone. What?
She’s coming home early. She emailed both of us.
He went into his email and found it immediately, sent to both him and Jessie. The subject line said “Good news and bad news.” He clicked on it and read.
Hey you two!
The bad news is that I busted my knee. Bad. I’m out of the dance corps for the rest of the season. Don’t even ask me what happened because I can’t stop crying about it.
The good news is that I’m coming home early!!!! Hobbling around London by myself while everyone I know is dancing is too fucking depressing. One of the dancers here has a boyfriend who works for Virgin Airlines, and he’s going to try to get me on a standby flight so I don’t have to dip into my already miserable savings to change my return ticket. I’ll let you know what happens, but, Shawn, obviously we can figure something out. I know you don’t mind the couch, ha ha, and dividing up the rent three ways would be awesome for everyone. Plus, seeing you guys. It’s basically the only good thing about this whole mess.
Sorry this is so last minute! More info soon. Love you! xoxoxo
–T
Okay, he texted Jessie. Just read it.
There was a pause. Was she in a meeting? Had she been pulled in by HR for having office sex loud enough for the entire twenty-eight-story building to hear?
Then his phone vibrated. Okay? she asked. That’s it?
He stopped walking. Are you freaking out?
YES WHY AREN’T YOU??
He went out of his text messages and called her.
“Because we don’t even know anything yet,” he said as soon as she answered. “She didn’t tell us when she’s coming or what the plan is.”
“But she’s still coming,” Jessie said, and he could hear the worry in her voice.
“We always knew she would,” he said. “It’s not like she was moving there forever.”
“It just seemed so much further away.”
He knew what she meant. He’d thought about the end of the summer the way he always thought about his future. It was there, obviously, but it felt shadowy and indistinct, having no real connection to him. He’d know what it would look like when he was living it. In the meantime, why stress about it so much?
“It might still be a while. She hasn’t officially changed her ticket yet, so we really don’t know.”
“I don’t understand why you’re so calm,” she said.
“I don’t usually worry about stuff that’s not even happening yet.”
“I know what each of those words means, but you say them together and I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
He could picture her expression—lips pursed together, that adorable line between her eyes when she frowned. If they were at home, she’d totally be reorganizing the throw pillows right about now. It was so ridiculous and so fucking cute at the same time.
“I just mean, let’s wait to worry until we have something concrete to worry about.”
“But that totally defeats the purpose of the pre-emptive worry stage.”
He laughed. “You know it’s not a requirement to freak out.”
“Then riddle me this. What are we going to say to her?”
He thought about the possibilities. Jessie and I are dating. But were they? Jessie and I are fucking was more accurate, but did he really want to say that to his sister? Jessie and I have been together for the summer, but now you’re here, so everything’s going to go back to normal was probably delusional. He may not have known what they were doing, but he also knew that whatever this was, or wasn’t—it was going to make the dynamic among the three of them a whole lot different than what Talia was expecting.
High school may have been a long time ago, but that didn’t mean the wounds had completely healed. He’d made a promise to Talia that he wouldn’t go fishing in her pond, and now he’d broken it, big time. Would she ever forgive him?
The easiest route would be to not say anything and let this thing with Jessie fizzle out naturally before Talia found out. No drama, no messes, just a good, easy end. But that didn’t make him much happier, either.
“We’ll figure it out,” he said gently, wishing Jessie didn’t worry so much about everything. He switched tracks. “You didn’t get in trouble, did you?” he asked, dropping his voice at the word trouble so that she knew exactly what he was talking about—and how delicious trouble with her had turned out to be.
He could practically feel her blush through the phone. “Marlene was looking for me and demanded to know where I was.”
“What did you tell her?”
She paused, then blurted out, “That my period had started unexpectedly.”
Shawn bust out laughing. “That’s the best you could come up with?”
“I don’t know, I panicked! I’m a terrible liar—that’s why I’m worried about Talia.”
“I guess it worked, though.”
“She gave me a weird look—it turned out my skirt was practically on sideways. But get this. She wants me to take on a major project for one of her big authors.”
“Whoa, that’s amazing.” He wished she could see how hard he was grinning at the news. “Clearly I’m good luck for you.”
“Or the worst ever. She asked if I was getting enough sleep.”
“Mmm, sorry to work you so hard, baby.”
“See? You’re bad for me.”
“I wish I could say the same, but I’m trying out a new no-bullshit policy.”
Jessie snorted. “And how’s that helping you when it comes to your sister, who you know would hate what we’re doing?”
“We’re not doing anything wrong,” he said, crossing the street toward Thunder.
“But we still have to think about what to say.”
“It doesn’t have to be a big deal. We don’t need to plan every move in advance. Just…let yourself relax. Okay?”
“I don’t know if I can do that.” She paused. “But I’ll try.”
“We’ll have to celebrate your good news.” And, he hoped, some of his own. The apricot beer was one of Thunder’s biggest sellers in Santa Fe. It could be just what the Brooklyn branch needed to get some much-needed New York attention.
“I gotta go,” he said, catching sight of Jean in the back room as he walked in. That meant he wasn’t so late that she’d started in on the apricots herself. So he’d better actually go do it.
“Shit. Me, too,” she said. “Marlene wants me in her office again. Wish me luck.”
“Good luck, ba—”
But she’d already hung up the phone.
…
Jessie kept checking her texts and refreshing her email, but the week passed without any more details from Talia. Talia had an appointment with the physical therapist the dance company worked with, and then she was watching rehearsals, and then there were no standby spots open, and she still needed to find someone to take over the lease on her flat.
Maybe Shawn was right. Whatever happened would happen.
And she had much more pressing things to worry about. Like finishing her comments on Tabitha’s manuscript. Marlene kept going on about how she hated the book with a fury and needed Jessie to fix it ASAP. The notes were due on Monday. She didn’t want to think about what would happen if Marlene had to go back through and edit the damn thing herself because Jessie hadn’t done a good enough job.
“It’s the fourth in a series,” she explained to Shawn as he pinned her down in bed one morning, refusing to let her grab her laptop. “It’s a really big deal.”
“But it’s Saturday,” he argued, planting kisses on her that she pretended to strugg
le away from.
“The first three were all best sellers—it’s basically why Honeywell Press could afford to hire me. So the fourth one has to be gold.”
“And it will be,” he said, holding her wrists and sliding down to kiss her traitorous nipples, which hardened in his mouth even though she was trying not to let him win. He looked up at her with a grin. “But like I tell you every weekend, it’s still Saturday.”
“Marlene is going to go over my notes with a fine-toothed comb.” She squirmed as he sucked her right nipple into his mouth.
“And be wowed by your ideas,” he said as he let the glistening nipple pop from his mouth and went to suck the other one.
“And wish she wasn’t swamped with a huge upcoming fantasy conference so she could do it herself instead of being stuck relying on me.”
Shawn took her nipple between his teeth and tugged. “She’s relying on you because you’re reliable.”
“Which is why I can’t let her down!” Jessie took the opportunity to try to throw him off her. But at the last second, he captured her again.
“You’ve been busy all week. If I don’t stage an intervention, you’ll work all day, all night, and all day tomorrow, and you’ll wake up at five a.m. on Monday to keep working, and that’s not what Marlene needs, or Tabitha what’s-her-name. Or you. It’s not good for you.”
“Don’t you have a shift today?” she asked, nuzzling against his neck.
“Nope. All the beer is sitting in its barrels, and Jean’s actually letting backup handle the rest.”
She tried to sit up against him. “Wait. But that’s great, isn’t it? It means she’s giving you other work besides watching yeast ferment.”
“I’m a pro at watching yeast ferment,” he said. “But actually…”
“What?” She knew that sheepish look he got, like there was something up his sleeve, even if he wouldn’t say it.
“She told me to take the weekend and think about what I might want to brew. Like, if I took over a fall special.”
She couldn’t believe it. “Holy shit.” She pushed his shoulder. “I knew Thunder was doing well with you around, but that’s huge, Shawn. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me sooner.”
“I didn’t want to make it into a thing, okay? It might not work out.”
“It will if you make it.” And she believed that. She always did. “We should both work today,” she said solemnly. “I’ll edit, you brainstorm.”
“No way,” he said. “I’m serious about taking the day off. For you, for me. And for us.”
She lay back down. He was downright impossible.
“I can’t just stay in bed all day fucking,” she said with a groan as he cupped his hand between her legs and she felt that familiar, delicious hardening of his cock over her stomach. “My body wants to. Trust me, I want to. But my brain…” She made a face.
“I know you’re stressed,” he said. “I get it. I’m trying not to be, though.” Suddenly he sat up, straddling her waist, pinning her in place. His cock was standing up erect in front of her, inches from her mouth. He so didn’t get it. He just wanted her to suck it.
“Shawn,” she groaned.
“Let’s do something fun today.”
“I told you—”
“You need one day a week where you let yourself do something fun. We’re paying out the nose to live in what basically amounts to an expensive closet. I could live for six months in Santa Fe on this rent—but I wouldn’t get to do a fraction of the things that are available here. Only I haven’t done any of them yet. You said you always wanted to live in New York to work in publishing. Let’s do something fun to actually take advantage of being here.”
This time, Jessie really did push him off her. “When these edits are done, I promise. I’ll enjoy living in New York.”
She swung her feet around and finally got out of bed.
“No way,” he said, following her. “When these edits are done, there will be other edits. Anyway, that’s weeks from now. I can’t plan that far in advance.”
“You could if you’d learn about this thing called a calendar,” she said.
“Blah, blah, blah,” he teased. “Come on. Be spontaneous. Discover something fun. Your whole life doesn’t take place on Gmail.”
“I have a life!” she protested, dragging him into the bathroom with her. “It’s just a life that’s busy with work right now. Like you should be, too. What kind of beer are you going to make?”
He reached over her and turned on the water. “No way, I’m not going to jinx it yet. First, we celebrate. You getting a major manuscript to edit to your heart’s content, me getting a chance to make…something. So we’re going out today, Jess. I’m going to plan everything. I promise, it’ll be fun. You’ll have a good time. And all that work will still be waiting for us tomorrow.”
She opened her mouth to protest—that was exactly the problem, the pile that would be waiting for her when she got back from whatever he was thinking—but he kissed her nose before she could get the words out.
“Studies show that people are more creative and work better when they give their minds a break, just like any muscle,” he said knowingly.
“Studies?” She arched an eyebrow.
“Yeah,” he said. “Important ones. What do you say?”
She eyed him skeptically. She had so much to do. But maybe he was right. Maybe they should have a little fun. She could jump out of bed every Monday morning for the rest of her life. For just one Saturday, was it so bad to let herself be his?
“Fine,” she said, stepping under the hot water and pulling him in with her. “But if the day sucks and I don’t finish my edits and Marlene fires me and Tabitha’s book tanks and Thunder never gets any beer brewed and the whole east coast branch goes under, I’m holding you personally accountable.”
“Deal,” he said, putting his arms around her as the water poured down. “Oh, and there’s one more thing,” he added.
“What?”
That look in his eye had her suddenly worried.
“No cell phones.”
“That’s not an option,” she said immediately.
“Remember when you lived without one constantly by your side?”
“But what if Marlene emails me? What if she needs something? What if Talia texts?”
“The world won’t end if they have to wait.”
She knew she should say no. Not just because she had to work, but because she couldn’t afford to forget that this was Shawn Lassiter kissing her nose and making her melt. He hadn’t bailed on her yet…but was that just because he was new to the city and hadn’t found someone better yet? Were they even, technically, dating? It was crazy to think that they were living together and hadn’t even had the “Are you my boyfriend?” talk.
She’d thought it was fast when Rose moved in with her boyfriend, Mr. Fancypants, after only six months together—especially since he was her boss, and as Amanda so delicately put it, “You don’t shit where you eat, and you don’t fuck where you work.” You probably weren’t supposed to fuck where you lived, either—and not with someone who was practically family, considering that she and Talia had always been like sisters. Not with someone who had once slept with her other friends.
Everyone would think she’d officially lost her mind. Talia would be pissed, obviously. But even Rose and Amanda would wonder who she was and what she’d done with the real Jessie, the one who was careful and smart and didn’t make a single decision without thinking about it from every angle and seeking their input.
So it was fun to be reckless. It was probably also fun to shoot heroin and drag race a car at a hundred and twenty miles an hour. But she didn’t do those things. Because fun was also stupid, and Jessie was anything but selfish and dumb.
She wasn’t carefree and spontaneous, either. But here she was, agreeing to leave her computer and her phone behind, along with her worries.
And why shouldn’t she celebrate just a little? It was a beautiful Sa
turday, she’d worked hard all week, and her efforts were starting to pay off. And here was a man who wanted her to enjoy it.
How, when he kissed her, could she say no to any of that?
Chapter Seventeen
Shawn didn’t have anything planned, but who cared? That was the point. It was a gorgeous summer day, and he was spending it with Jessie, with no computers, no phones, no work, and no interruptions.
He knew Jessie was right. As soon as Jean even hinted about having him develop his own brew for the fall, he should have jumped on it immediately.
But what if she changed her mind? What if his ideas sucked? What if it tasted terrible? He didn’t want to make too big a deal out of it, in case it didn’t amount to anything.
Anyway, he’d have time to figure all that out tomorrow. Right now, he just wanted to enjoy the day with the woman by his side—and make sure she enjoyed herself, too.
They got coffee and croissants in their neighborhood then took the subway over to Brooklyn Heights to walk along the promenade overlooking the water. As they wound their way down old cobblestone streets to a park filled with food trucks, he saw Jessie eyeing a gelato stand. He bought her a giant dish of chocolate hazelnut with a cookie, even though she protested that she couldn’t possibly eat ice cream before lunch.
“Live a little,” he said, grabbing two spoons. “We’re rediscovering what it’s like to have fun.”
Her laugh lit up everything. When he kissed the chocolate off her lips, he wasn’t thinking about how they were roommates, and this was another one of Talia’s friends, and who did he think he was, acting like her boyfriend when he wasn’t anywhere near good enough for someone as sweet and stable as she was.
But maybe, he thought as she linked her arm in his and walked along the water, he could be.
Hints of a new kind of future began to unspool before him. He could stay in Brooklyn. Keep working for Thunder as it continued to grow. Jean, Kevin, everyone would know how invaluable he was to the business. He’d start brewing his own beers. Take on more than even the role of assistant. Be exactly the kind of man Jessie deserved.
Was it possible? He didn’t know.
But for the first time, it didn’t feel so impossible, either.
Wrong Bed, Right Roommate (Accidental Love) Page 13
