‘A pleasure for them, perhaps, but I did not expect to spend my evenings with a schoolroom party.’
‘No, of course not,’ she said soothingly. ‘And I admire the way you moderated your behaviour to suit the company.’
His black brows drew together. ‘Just what are you implying, madam?’
She met his darkling look with her own innocent gaze. ‘I know very little of the ways of gentlemen when they are on their own, Major, but is it not the fashion to drink to excess and to—er—swear like a trooper?’
‘Not amongst my particular friends!’
‘Oh. I thought that was why you needed a separate parlour for yourself, sir.’
He gave a crack of laughter. ‘Baggage! Up into the carriage with you, Miss Wrenn, and after another full day with your charges, you tell me whether you, too, would not like a separate parlour!’
Their next overnight stop was to be at Leek; without the constant rain, Major Collingham was able to make much better progress in his curricle. Juliana soon lost sight of it and when at last the travelling carriage pulled up at the Greyhound Hotel, Giles was waiting to hand them down.
‘Did you have any trouble at the turnpike?’ he asked, assisting Nurse to alight. ‘I am getting quite handy with the yard of tin now, and blew up in good time, but the old fellow moved at a snail’s pace. We have been here for an age, and I have had time to see Father’s cattle safely stabled and the curricle too, is under cover, which is a good thing, for it is threatening to rain again and it does it no good to be stood in the wet overnight, as it was at Loughborough. Here at least Fewell will be able to get the hood waxed to make it watertight again.’
Juliana looked up at their accommodation. The Greyhound was a large new building, erected to meet the needs of a prosperous, growing mill town.
‘This looks big enough to afford the Major his separate room,’ she murmured as Giles turned to help her down.
‘Very likely, but Papa has reserved only the one parlour. I hope you do not dislike it, Miss Wrenn, but I told him that by some chance I had never read Gulliver’s Travels, which you have been reading to the children, and I thought I might sit in again this evening, if you was to read some more, so Papa said that if we were all intent on being together, he would not sit in majestic isolation.’
Thus it was that once dinner was over and the dishes cleared away, Juliana found herself in a particularly domestic scene. The large room set aside for them faced full east and therefore did not benefit from the evening sun, but it glowed with the light of a dozen candles. Thomas and Gwendoline were playing backgammon on a small table while Minna and Amy worked on their samplers. Giles had taken a chair close to the empty fireplace where he was whittling a piece of wood into shape to replace a missing knight from his chess set. Juliana sat at the table with a pair of branched candles at her elbow as she read from Mr Swift’s entertaining book. Nurse was dozing in her chair, her knitting lying abandoned in her lap, and only the Major had no secondary occupation. He had taken a chair in the far corner of the room, where he sat at his ease, his long legs stretched out before him and crossed at the ankles. Juliana was aware that he was watching her as she read aloud, but she did not allow it to affect her. Major Collingham had been driving all day, and it was quite reasonable to suppose that he was tired, and wanted only to relax.
At the end of a chapter she put down the book. Immediately Gwendoline looked up.
‘Oh, can you not read a little more?’
‘I am sorry, it is time for you to go to bed.’
Roused from her slumbers, Nurse tutted. ‘I should think so, indeed. Why it is quite dark now.’
Gwendoline looked ready to argue and Juliana said cheerfully, ‘An early start in the morning and we shall be at Blackthorpe Hall by tomorrow night, is that not so, Major?’
‘Aye. It is little more than fifty miles from here.’ He rose. ‘Come, Gwen. Kiss me goodnight and go to bed—tomorrow you shall be in your own room.’
‘I will, Papa!’ Wilhelmina ran forward to be swung up into the Major’s arms.
‘Goodnight, sweeting.’ He kissed her and set her back on her feet. ‘Off you go now, and be a good girl. Gwen…’ He bent to kiss her cheek, ‘…goodnight, my dear.’
‘What a tiring thing it is to travel,’ sighed Nurse when they had finished putting the children to bed. ‘I declare I am ready to drop, and it is not yet ten o’clock. And I have the children’s samplers to pack away, yet.’
‘I will go down and take care of that,’ said Juliana.
‘Would you, dearie? I would take it as a kindness, for my old knees object to going up and down these stairs more than once, I can tell you.’
Juliana patted her arm. ‘Then stay here and rest. I will make sure the children’s sewing and games are all packed away in readiness for the morning.’
She went back to the parlour, where only the candles on the table were still burning. She jumped as a figure detached itself from a shadowed corner.
‘Oh, Major Collingham. I thought everyone had retired…’
‘Not yet. I did not expect you to come back.’
‘The girls’ sewing things.’ She waved towards the litter of silks and fabric on the table. ‘It will be in the way when the maid comes to set the table for breakfast in the morning.’
‘Well, then, when you have packed that away, if you are not too tired, perhaps you would indulge me in a game of backgammon?’
‘Oh. Well, yes, of course, if you wish. But—could not Master Giles…?’
‘My son has gone to bed, taking with him your book. I hope you do not mind that he has borrowed it?’
‘Not at all. I am pleased that he has taken an interest.’
‘It is an entertaining tale, and a good choice for a journey, Miss Wrenn.’
She gathered up the silks and put them into the workbasket, but as she did so she watched him setting out the backgammon counters.
‘The table is cleared now—perhaps you would like to move the board here?’
‘Why? This little table was sufficient for Gwen and Thomas.’ He came to pick up the branched candlestick. ‘This should be sufficient light for us. When you are ready, Miss Wrenn.’
She quickly finished packing away the children’s samplers and threads and placed the basket in the windowsill. Then she took her seat at one side of the low table. The Major had placed the candlestick on the mantelshelf, from where it cast a flickering yellow light over the board.
‘I should tell you that I am considered something of an expert at this game,’ she warned him.
‘Then at least you should be good enough to give me some sport.’
She put up her chin. ‘I do not think you will find me deficient, Major.’
He glanced up at her, a smile glinting in his eyes. ‘That’s put you on your mettle.’
She scowled. ‘Oh, be quiet and play, sir!’
The first two games went to Juliana, and earned her a word of praise from her opponent. The Major narrowly won the third game, and Juliana did not object when he suggested they should play again. She was enjoying herself, and in concentrating on the game she forgot that they were master and employee.
‘Our landlord has left a bottle of burgundy—would you care for a glass, ma’am, or would you prefer brandy?’
‘Is it usual for ladies to drink brandy, Major?’
‘No, but you are an unusual lady, Miss Wrenn.’
She laughed at the unexpected compliment. ‘A glass of wine would be very welcome, sir.’
She set out the counters again while he poured the wine and brought it back to the table, with a glass of brandy for himself. The fourth game was closely fought, but an error by Juliana gave her opponent an advantage, and she shook her head as she watched him bearing off his counters to win.
‘I allowed you too many hits,’ she remarked. ‘Should I plead fatigue, Major, or accuse you of trying to befuddle my brain with the wine?’
‘Neither. Merely admit I am the better pla
yer.’
‘Such arrogance! We have won two games each, sir. The honours so far are even.’
He sat back, sipping at his brandy. ‘So they are. Shall we play a deciding game?’
She nodded eagerly.
‘Do you wish to change colours, ma’am?’
‘I am happy to let you have the black.’
He gave her one of his rare smiles. ‘The devil’s colour, is that it?’
She chuckled. ‘Precisely.’
From the first throw of the dice Juliana was determined to win. The wine had warmed her, but she did not believe it had lessened her ability to think clearly. The Major grunted as she moved her pieces into blocks, leaving no counter exposed.
‘Defensive play, Miss Wrenn.’
‘Necessary play, Major, when I know you are ready to pounce upon my slightest error.’
They were sitting forward, leaning over the board, intent on the play. A false move by her opponent allowed Juliana to make some gains, but the Major countered immediately and the advantage was lost. Vexed, Juliana rattled the dice-box and cast a little wildly. One die bounced over the edge of the board and on to the floor.
‘Oh, how careless of me!’ She slipped off her chair, searching the shadows under the table. ‘Ah, there it is. A six! Will you allow that, Major, or will I have to throw again? It would be very ungentlemanly of you to deny me!’
She was on her knees beside him, laughing up into his face, quite forgetting any restraint. The Major sat motionless. The light from the candles was behind him and she could not see him clearly, but she caught his sudden stillness. Silence settled over the room. Juliana’s laughter died away, but she remained at his feet, transfixed. He reached out and cupped her face in his hands. He was going to kiss her, she knew it, and with a sudden, blazing certainty she realised there was nothing she wanted more. He leaned forward, his black shadow enveloping her as his lips touched her own. It was a gentle kiss that sent icy threads of fear and excitement through her body. It was everything she had expected, but nothing as she had imagined it. Instinctively she reached up her hand to touch his face, and the whole world exploded.
He dropped down beside her, his chair scraping back and catching the edge of the little table, sending the backgammon board and pieces flying. The table toppled over, counters skittered in all directions across the floor, adding a brighter tapping to the drumming of blood that already filled Juliana’s head. His mouth was hard on hers now, demanding. His hands moved down to grip her shoulders. She was aware of no pain, only an urgent desire. She clung to him as he lowered her unresisting to the floor. He pulled the muslin fichu from her neck and his lips left her mouth to trail lightly down across her throat. Pushing her gown from her shoulders, he pressed his kisses on the exposed skin while his fingers moved on, slipping inside her bodice to cup one breast. Juliana gasped, feeling the nipple grow hard and erect under his circling thumb. She threw her arms about his neck, excited by the feel of his taut body pressing against her. There was a tingling ache between her thighs, an urgency that she did not understand. When his lips returned to her mouth, she kissed him ardently, her body pressing against his, inviting his caresses. He raised his head and the next moment his mouth closed over the breast where his hand had been so effective in rousing her. Juliana closed her eyes, giddy with new sensations. Her fingers slid up from his neck to bury themselves in his sleek black hair; the pleasure was exquisite, almost unbearable. Juliana arched against him, her body aching for more, and she gave a little whimper, murmuring his name. The Major grew still. He lifted his head to stare at her, his breath ragged and warm upon her face. He stared at her for a long moment, as if trying to bring her into focus. With a groan he turned away.
‘I—am—sorry,’ he said curtly, his back to her. Juliana’s hand crept to her cheek. She was stunned, unable to think clearly. She became aware of the hard wooden floor beneath her and slowly she sat up, readjusting her gown with trembling fingers. She did not understand the tumult of emotion he had aroused. Her reaction to his touch had overwhelmed her, and she was frightened at her loss of control. She wanted to cry, and in defence tried to be flippant.
‘Is—is that why they call you a devil in the bedroom?’
He jerked to his feet and crossed to the window. ‘So you have heard that. A stupid jest, born of the, ah, the wild parties we held before Waterloo.’ He turned and came back to her. ‘One thing you will not hear is that I tamper with innocent young women. What has just happened—I apologise for my lack of control, Miss Wrenn.’ She was on her feet now, and he bent to scoop up the fichu and hand it to her, a strange smile twisting his mouth. ‘I must blame it on being cooped up in this damned inn. It will not happen again.’
‘It was indeed foolish beyond permission,’ she muttered, shaking out her gown. The excitement had drained away, leaving her exhausted and depressed.
He raked one hand through his hair.
‘What can I say? Miss Wrenn, I am more sorry than I can tell you. Please forgive me.’
Juliana moved towards the window, away from the candlelight. She had been about to say that she was equally to blame. True, he had kissed her first, but she had made no attempt to repulse him. Indeed, she was well aware that she had encouraged him. The thought of what might have occurred had he not broken away made her shudder. She had the instincts of a harlot. It was a lowering thought. Juliana drew a steadying breath. She was at an inn, miles from anyone that she knew, without money, without power. She must tread carefully.
‘I am contracted to you as a governess, Major.’
He sighed. ‘Of course. No doubt you wish to have nothing further to do with me or my family.’
His tone was harsh, but Juliana knew his anger was directed at himself. She wanted to run to him, to take at least some of the blame for what had happened, but then what would he think of her? Why, to admit her desire would show herself to be no better than a strumpet.
But she did not want to leave him.
‘I have grown very fond of your children, Major Collingham, and my financial position has not changed in any way. I am contracted to you until September and I would like to fulfil my obligations.’
He was watching her closely. ‘And this?’ he said. ‘Would you have us pretend this did not happen?’
She swallowed. ‘I believe you are right, sir. It was the consequence of being too much thrown together. And the wine, Major. I shall be at pains to ensure that there is no opportunity for such a thing to happen again.’
She walked towards the door, but his voice stayed her.
‘But you will stay? For the children?’
She looked back. ‘Yes,’ she said quietly. ‘I will stay for the children.’
Chapter Twelve
Juliana dreaded meeting the Major at breakfast the following day and her cheeks grew warm when he greeted her, but his manner was curt, and his subsequent behaviour so politely indifferent that she began to wonder if she had dreamed the previous night’s encounter. He did not escort her to their carriage, but stood talking to his groom while Giles performed the service. That he was trying to spare her embarrassment Juliana was sure, but still she found his coldness depressing.
With the prospect of reaching Blackthorpe that evening the children were happy to be on their way. Gwendoline and Thomas had discovered a travel chess set Juliana had purchased for them and were soon engaged in a deep combat while the younger girls were busy making up stories. With no need to entertain the children, and Nurse settling down to sleep in her corner, Juliana had nothing to do but look out at the undulating hills and pleasant scenery. Unfortunately, this gave her far too much time to think, and her mind kept returning to the Major’s caresses and the way she had abandoned herself to him.
The Major’s kiss had surprised, but not outraged her. Men, she knew, were prone to such lusts. A lady would have pushed him away, not encouraged him to continue with his gallantry. Juliana reflected sadly that her reactions had been most unladylike. She cast a quick loo
k around the carriage, half-expecting to see the children regarding her with disapproval. If they knew the wanton way she had behaved, they would look upon her with horror. The fact that the Major had not turned her off instantly was a relief. With no money, if he had abandoned her then she, Thomas and Amy would have become beggars. They had seen many such pathetic figures during their journey from London. Some were ex-soldiers, discharged from the army now the war was over and left to fend for themselves. At one farm they passed, she had seen a ragged woman taking food from the pig trough to feed her child. It was a frightening prospect, and one Juliana would do anything to avoid.
She closed her eyes, but the memory of the Major’s kiss would not go away. She had wanted him to kiss her! Juliana remembered reading of monks who flayed themselves with birch sticks to rid themselves of lustful thoughts. If such good men had problems, why should not she? A small, treacherous voice whispered that she should be making efforts to attach the Major, not keep him at a distance. As an impecunious teacher with two children to support, she was unlikely to attract a husband—would it really be so bad to enjoy the Major’s attentions for a while? Marriage was out of the question, she was well aware of that, for he was promised to his paragon of a neighbour with all her fortune, and Juliana was not fool enough to think her charms sufficient to make him give up his plans. Indeed, the idea of Damon falling at her feet in blind adoration was laughable—so why did it make her want to cry?
Her little demon whispered that it was not too late, that with a few smiles and compliments he would again take her in his arms, but she resolutely crushed such thoughts. Damon had hired her as a governess for his children and that is what she would be. Last night’s encounter was a salutary lesson to her: she would be on her guard in future. She would earn her money, then walk away from Major Collingham and his family with her pride and her virtue intact.
More Than a Governess Page 9
