by David Lubar
“That was just a figure of speech,” he said. He leaned forward until his face was only inches from mine. “Maybe the answer is right in front of you.” He reached out with one finger and touched the end of my nose.
I took a step away. Then I froze as the answer sank in. Of course.
“Professor Robert Wordsworth,” I said, remembering the day he’d told me his name.
He smiled.
I stretched out the rubber band. “And I’ll bet your friends call you . . . ,” I said as I slipped the rubber band over his hand.
“Bob!” we said together.
What a simply wonderful palindrome.
The rubber band on his wrist glowed yellow.
Behind me, the clock ticked. I glanced at it. Five minutes after four.
“Am I cured?” I asked.
“Find out for yourself,”he told me as the sound of running footsteps announced Benedict’s arrival.
“I figured I’d find you here,” he said, sliding to halt next to me. “The way you rushed out the other day when I saw you on the steps, I knew something important was going on. Even if you wouldn’t tell me about it.”
I took a deep breath and spoke. “Thanks for saving me back there in school. Did you get in much trouble?”Wow. Not a single pun. I wasn’t being punished anymore!
“Nah,” Benedict said. “Mr.Vernack just gave me a lecture about civic responsibility and made me clean the chalkboards. But I guess I can forget about being student-of-the-month for a while.”
“Would you settle for being friend of the century?” I asked.
“I guess that’s pretty good, even if it doesn’t come with a pizza.”
I grinned at him. “Who said it doesn’t? Let’s get one right now.I have that coupon,remember?”
“I thought you were saving it for a special day,” Benedict said.
“You have no idea how special today is. So how about we go stuff our faces?”
“Sounds great,” Benedict said. “Now, are you going to tell me what all of this was about?”
“Sure,” I said. I glanced at the professor. He nodded, so I figured it was okay. “It’s a long story.”
“Best told someplace else,” the professor said. “This is a library, not a meeting room.”
Benedict glanced over at the professor. “Who asked you?”
Oh no.
The professor raised his dusty old book and took a deep breath.
Here we go again, I thought, expecting Benedict to get punished. I wondered if he’d get the same three quests or have to find something completely different.
Instead of blowing the dust, the professor winked at me, put the book down, and went back to reading.
“Come on,” I said, tugging Benedict by the arm. “I’ll tell you all about it on the way to the pizzeria.”
We walked out of the library, back into the warm weather.
“I’ll share mine with you when I win it,” Benedict said.
“Thanks.”
“I know I messed up for May. But June’s a short month. It’ll be easy. Especially when I turn in a great paper.”
“Did you figure out a topic?” I asked.
Benedict nodded. “I’ve got something Mr. Vernack will love. Ms. Glott, too. I’m going to write about words and stuff.”
“Oxymorons and anagrams?”
“Those are okay. But I really want to write about puns. I know they make people groan, but there’s also something sort of cool about them.”
“Yeah.They are kind of cool,” I said. “Ready for pizza?”
“Sure, Pete’s-a great guy,” Benedict said.
“Yeah, Pete’s-a great guy.” I groaned. And then I laughed. And then I said, “Since we have a coupon, we don’t knead any dough.” I didn’t have to make the pun, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t want to. It was nice having the choice.
“I never sausage a nice pizza,” Benedict said when we reached the window outside the pizzeria.
“I read about one in the news-pepper,” I said as I opened the door.
And we walked inside—two groan boys.
About the Author
DAVID LUBAR is a writer and video-game designer. He's written a variety of books for teens and young readers. His novel Hidden Talents was named an ALA Best Book for Young Adults. Dunk, a wildly funny young adult novel set on the boardwalk of the Jersey Shore, won the 2004 Young Adult Book Award from the Keystone State Reading Association and appeared on the Texas Lone Star Reading List. His other books include Dog Days, Wizards of the Game, Flip, Sleeping Freshmen Never Lie, In the Land of the Lawn Weenies, and his latest short-story collection, Invasion of the Road Weenies. His short stories have appeared in Boys’ Life, READ magazine, Nickelodeon magazine, and in various anthologies, including Sports Shorts (Darby Creek Publishing).
David has designed and programmed many video games,including Home Alone and Frogger 2 for the Nintendo GameBoy,Fantastic Voyage for the Atari 2600, and Swamp Thing for the Nintendo Entertainment System. His most recent game work has been for Nabisco's Candystand and Nabisco World Web sites.
A popular speaker who has appeared at national conferences and schools all across the country, David Lubar is a native of New Jersey, but he now lives just over the border in Nazareth, Pennsylvania, with his wife, daughter, and a trio of felines. He also lives online at www.davidlubar.com.
