by Laura Emmons
“No,” I cried, “don’t pull it out.” I tried desperately to force the healing energy to my hands. I opened my healer vision. The knife had perforated his small intestine in several places. Blood and acid spilled into the surrounding tissue. My hands were lifeless. I needed help. Reaching for my clutch, which thankfully still hung by its chain around my torso, I grabbed my cell phone and dialed Fiona. When she answered I alternately screamed and sobbed the whole situation to her.
“I’m leaving now, but I won’t get there in time. Call Rose. Don’t call 911, or you’ll expose magic to the Romans and things will get even worse. We’ll deal with McCoy in our own way.”
“I don’t care about McCoy, I need to save Evan!”
“Call Rose,” she repeated calmly, but firmly.
***
I called Rose. No one answered the phone at the house. I tried her cell. There was no answer. I tried Corey’s cell. They’d both gone to bed. Evan still bled and I was so scared. I needed Rose, and if I couldn’t get her to come to Evan, than I’d have to get Evan to go to her. Kicking off my shoes, I turned tail and flew out of the trailer, leaving him on the floor. I scanned the whole area with my healer vision.
There. A cluster of gold auras were gathered in the parking lot. I ran toward them as fast as my legs would carry me. Liam and a few of his friends stood next to a pick-up truck. I told them what happened. One of them pulled the truck around, drove it right onto the lawn and across to the trailer. Liam and the others went in and picked up Evan, still folded in a fetal position, with the knife protruding out. He’d lost so much blood. His heart rate was very slow. I could see it pumping. Please keep pumping. I climbed into the bed of the truck to be with him. The rushing wind was freezing. One of the guys lent me his letter jacket. I took it gratefully, still trying to will healing energy into my palms but my gift continued to evade me. I cried at the shame of it. I should have been the one to heal him, now his life was at risk because I couldn’t master my gift.
***
An hour later the crisis had passed. Rose had known what to do. I guided her to find every nick and cut in his stomach using my healer vision. I lent her my life-force energy to amplify her own healing skill. I would have given her all of my life-force if she’d needed it. Someone had called Fiona and redirected her to the house instead of the school. When she arrived she took over, breaking up the acid and generating new blood cells to replace much of what he’d lost. She’d brewed a natural sedative using chamomile, melatonin and a tiny pinch of belladonna. She didn’t use valerian, because it could slow his already weak heartbeat. I helped her raise his head, so he could drink the sleeping draft.
“Come on, baby,” I urged. “It’ll help you get better.”
For the first time in over an hour, he opened his eyes. He gave me a weak smile and drank the tea. Then, as he leaned back against the pillows on my bed he said, “Splat” and fell asleep.
Finally, I was able to walk away from his side and head downstairs. I wanted to return the letter jacket. They were all clustered in the living room. Corey sat with them. Ginger and Rock acted as hosts, fetching coffee and snacks.
As I approached, Corey looked at me and said, “You know, you should get Fiona to look at that cut while she’s still here.”
I’d forgotten the cut on my arm. It seemed so insignificant compared to Evan’s injury. How did Corey know I had it when I still wore the letter jacket? I couldn’t raise the question in front of the others, but would seek an answer to it soon.
***
Time passed. All of the guests left and everyone else went back to sleep. Fiona had used my room to treat Evan so he still lay in my bed. This time, I lied on top of the covers and spooned him, but not for long. When I knew the coast was clear, I got up, changed into warm hiking clothes, and snuck downstairs. Rooting around in the kitchen revealed Rose’s keys, so I snuck out the back door. I stole her car, turned onto the road leading to Fiona’s cabin and kept on driving, eventually finding the dirt road Pat had shown me on the map.
Sometime in the night it had started to snow, but that wouldn’t stop me. The roads had all been plowed up until I got to the access road. Since it ran downhill gravity helped me out. When the car started to skid I corrected and kept on driving. My driving instructor would have been proud. I was determined to find my healing gift, because I never wanted to watch helplessly while someone I loved suffered again.
***
The car had a lot of trouble getting through the snow on the dirt road. It hadn’t been plowed from any of the previous snow storms and icy patches hid under the layer of fresh snow. Eventually, the car could go no farther. I parked it and got out; thinking I probably should have brought a flashlight with me. Oh well. Trudging through the snow I saw the derelict house and turned left, scanning for the meadow. When I tripped over an ice covered clump of dirt, and fell onto my knees, I realized I’d been walking in the meadow for a while. Where was the sacred site used by my ancestors?
Without any better ideas and no flashlight, I turned on my healer vision. I didn’t expect to sense anything except for perhaps a lizard or small animal in the meadow. What I did see shocked me speechless. That is, if I’d been talking to myself, I would have been speechless.
The faintest ethereal glow of gold beckoned me from across the way. I stood up and trudged toward it. The craggy granite of the mountain rose behind the meadow. Still, the translucent gold aura urged me forward. It was snowing much harder now, and the wind whipped my hair around my face. It was bitterly cold and my feet had gone numb in spite of the protection from my boots. I wouldn’t have been able to see through the driving sheets of snow if I’d been using my eyes, but I wasn’t. I followed the ghost’s aura.
Finally, I found the intended destination. A fissure cut the side of the mountain. The opening was barely wide enough for me to slide through sideways. Once inside, the space grew much bigger. The wind and snow didn’t penetrate this hidden cave so I felt more comfortable, but the long exposure to the cold had already robbed my body of any strength. Like the anxiety and stress from the night hadn’t worn me down enough. When the ghost beckoned me to rest in the center of the cave I fell down immediately and passed out.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Vision Quest
When I woke up, I still lay on the floor of the cave. Sitting, I dusted off my clothes. There was no cold or discomfort at all. Plus, it wasn’t dark. For a windowless cave, the space had a lot of light. I had been lying in the center of the cave on top of an etched figure of a turtle carved into the stone floor. The turtle was painted a vibrant green. Leaf green covered the spots on the back of its shell. A dark forest green filled the gaps in between the spots. The head and limbs protruding from the shell were colored a lighter shade. Looking up from the floor, I could see the crevice opening but couldn’t make out anything beyond it. Turning in a circle, I took in the naturally smooth rock walls and ceiling of the surprisingly clean cave. I spied the back wall and jumped back.
Three women sat cross-legged on the floor. They sat in front of a roaring fire. One, the youngest of the three looked up at me and beckoned. “Come child; warm yourself by the magical fire.”
I assumed the same cross-legged position on the ground by the fire.
The young woman spoke again. “I am your grandmother, Margaret Running Deer Stewart. Welcome to our Bony Moon ceremony.”
All three of the women wore similar dresses made of calico cotton in flowered patterns. The style of the dresses reminded me of frontier women in old western movies. My grandmother barely looked old enough to be a mother, let alone a grandmother. She looked to be in her mid-twenties. Her dress was mostly tan colored and she wore a necklace made of beads and bones strung on leather cord. Her beautifully tanned skin had golden hues. Her long black hair hung loose around her face. She smiled.
I wasn’t sure of what to say to her, so I said the first thing that popped into my head. “Thank you for inviting me to your party, I mean, ceremony.
What is a Bony Moon ceremony, anyway?”
The woman in the center answered me. She wore a green dress with two large stripes of diamond patterned ribbon at the hem and waistband. A small suede bag hung around her neck from a strip of leather. She looked old enough to be a grandmother. “The Bony Moon marks the time of year when we honor and communicate with those members of our family who have departed this world.” She let me think about her statement. “I am Shining Face, Margaret’s mother, and your great-grandmother. We are so happy you are finally here with us.” Her skin glowed like a polished almond. Her hair was pulled back into a simple pony tail.
“I am happy to be here, great-grandmother,” I said respectfully.
The third woman spoke. She was extremely old. Her wrinkled skin and white hair reminded me of Evelyn Macgregor. She stooped her shoulders like Evelyn did. She wore a blue dress and drew her hair back in a bun. She held it in place with two turkey feathers. Her voice was frailer than the other two women, and she spoke more softly. “I am Rainbow Algoma, the first of the Running Deer line to live in Cacapon. We are here under the Bony Moon to counsel you, as you will soon have many difficult choices to make.”
“I understand. You three are ghosts. This is my vision quest. It’s not real.”
Margaret corrected me. “The vision is as real as you need it to be, my dear. Remember, when we are gone, to collect the sacred bundle of magic fire kindling from the corner of the turtle cave. I lost it when I crossed worlds. It should be returned to our family.”
Rainbow spoke, “Tell us why you seek our counsel, young one. What troubles you?”
“It’s my gift of Healing Hands. I can’t make it work, and the clan is depending on me to be able to heal people.”
Shining Face responded first. “I grew up on the Cherokee Reservation in North Carolina. I am from the Paint Clan. I was a great medicine woman in my tribe before I married Luke Running Deer. I can offer you this advice. Your hands are connected to your mind through your heart. To heal another person, to give life to dead skin, or muscle, to create blood, you must give them your love. Your capacity to love, even those who may not deserve your grace, is the source of your power. Right now I sense you hold your love in check. You have been told love is wrong, so you stifle it. You choke your own grief, and you hide your true feelings. You must let all of this go, before the love will flow freely from your mind, through your heart, to your hands.”
I considered her words. I wasn’t sure if I could do as she said, but I would try. “Thank you great-grandmother.”
The old woman spoke. “In my tribe I was from the Bird Clan. I dreamed things before they came to pass, and I had the gift of healing hands. Sometimes my gift of future sight blocked the energy path to my hands. I can give you this advice. Do not let your fear of the future stop you from living in the present. The future can always be changed. It is your choices that are important, not your fears.”
“Maggie, you will have many challenges soon. You must know this. You are here now for a reason. The Creator has brought you to this place in this time as part of the Grand Design. You are special. You are strong. Believe in yourself, and trust your heart.” My grandmother stopped talking and tilted her head as if listening to something I could not hear. She returned her attention to me. “Hold out your hands, child.”
I did so.
She placed her hands palm to palm against mine. “What do you fear?”
“I don’t want to be hurt. I don’t want anyone I love to be hurt or killed.”
“Let go of your fear. It cannot help you.” Her confidence surged through my hands. The energy soothed me. She continued, “Whom do you fear?”
I answered instantly, “Arianrhod…I fear her.”
“Do not fear the moon bearer. Stop evil wherever it exists.” Strength surged through the contact with Margaret. “What do you love?”
“I love my family. I love my brother. I love my mother. I am so sad and I miss her so much.”
“But what do you love?”
I thought about her question. Were there any things I loved, I mean, really loved, besides pizza and chocolate, of course.
“I love to sing.”
“Then sing when you are afraid. Sing when you are sad. Sing to let the love flow through you. If you do this, your power cannot be blocked. It cannot be stopped.”
I nodded.
She wasn’t finished, “Now, Maggie, whom do you love?”
“I told you already. I love my family: Corey, Rose, Fiona, Mom, and Dad…”
“Maggie, whom do you really love?”
I sighed. “Evan…I love him…I just do.”
She smiled at my admission. “Then let that love be a part of who you are. Don’t choke it. Your love is right, true and in balance with nature. The Creator put you here for a reason. Don’t be afraid to love.”
Rainbow interrupted her. “Quick, there’s no time left. Her intended comes…”
Margaret grasped my hands and squeezed tightly. I tried to process what the old woman meant by ‘my intended’ but Margaret looked earnestly at me.
“Don’t forget the bundle of magic kindling. You’ll need it.” The three women faded. First their bodies dissolved into nothing. Then their auras dissipated. The fire dwindled and died. The room gradually grew black. I had no idea how much time had passed before I heard scuffling noises on the floor of the cave.
***
“Here! I found her. She’s in here.”
Evan must be feeling better if he’s walking around, I thought absently. He rushed into the cave and knelt down beside me.
“Oh Llew, help me. She’s so cold. I don’t think she’s conscious. Hurry!” He unzipped his jacket. He covered my body with his, to warm me until the others arrived. “Hang in there, Mags. I found you. You’ll be okay now. Just hang in there, honey. I’m here.”
His hot breath tickled the back of my ear as he whispered into it. I doubt my hypothermic and dehydrated body moved, but in my mind I wriggled with delight. The electricity which always thrummed through me at his touch was enough to warm me back to life.
Chapter Twenty-Three
A Month of Quiet
When I woke up, I lay warm and cozy in my own bed. The sun streamed through the window and I was alone, or thought I was alone. At first, I mentally tested all of my limbs and digits, to make sure everything still worked properly, and then sat up in bed. Looking around the room, I spied my brother. Corey sat in my reading chair, watching me. He must have sensed I’d awaken.
“Hi,” I said.
“Welcome, back,” he replied. He came over to sit next to me. “Maggie,” he looked into my eyes with a hint of desperation.
“Yeah?”
“Don’t ever leave me like that again, okay? I‘ve lost everyone I ever loved except for you. Please don’t make me lose you, too.”
I felt like bat droppings. I’d been so focused on helping my family; I forgot how running out into the middle of the night might hurt them, too. I should have told Corey my plans. He wouldn’t have tried to stop me and I could have spared him more fear and pain. The shame showed on my face. “I’m so sorry, Corey. I promise I’ll never run away again, but it was important.”
A stern voice came from the doorway. “There’s no doubt you’ll never do it again. Let’s review. You took off in a snowstorm. You stole my car. You violated the terms of your provisional license. You, young lady, are grounded for a month.”
“But…”
“No, I will not tolerate arguments against my decision…a month, I’m serious.” Rose looked adamant.
I looked from Corey to her. “I’m sorry,” I said again, but the apology sounded lame to me, too.
She wanted to say something else when Corey interrupted. “You still have that cut on your arm. It looks pretty deep, too. You should let Rose heal that.”
“Oh this,” I said, looking at the wound closely for the first time. Steve had cut me deeper than I’d originally thought, but the wound had clott
ed so long ago, it didn’t seem like a big deal, but Corey had a point. I didn’t want to risk infection. “Pfft, I can handle this, I don’t need help.” Holding my opposite hand over the cut, and concentrating on a song in my head and the love of my family around me, I let the energy flow. I envisioned cleaning out the wound and building new skin. Soon only a fresh welt remained. “See,” I said, looking up, “…no problem.”
Both of them gaped at me. “I guess she got her mojo on,” nodded Corey.
“Yeah, okay, maybe you did have a good reason,” said Rose. “But you’re still grounded.”
I accepted her decision.
Rose checked to see if my feet were warm enough and had good circulation. Then they let me go back to sleep.
I snuggled back into the covers, felling proud of myself for the first time in a long time. I had my mojo.
***
Being grounded for a month wasn’t so bad. It helped me to focus on my schoolwork. Of course, Rose let me go to school, chorale, the store and the library, so my routine didn’t change much. Since I no longer dated and I’d finished my driving course, I had no plans for the weekends, anyway. I did miss practicing my driving, because Rose absolutely forbade it. Instead I studied, caught up on all my work, and when I wasn’t doing stuff for school, I practiced energy-touch therapy with Fiona and Rose.
Evan came over occasionally to work on Psychology, and I saw him at school and chorale, but things seemed strained between us. I had no idea what went through his head. We had returned to our pattern of eating lunch together at our old table in the corner, but we hardly talked to each other. Rather, he hardly talked to me. I hadn’t seen Steve at all.
By the second Saturday of my confinement, I couldn’t take it anymore. “What is WRONG with you?”
“I don’t know what you mean,” he said, coolly.
“Yes, you do. Ever since the dance, you’ve treated me like a leper. What did I do to piss you off so much?”
