by Wendy Teller
Rózsa glared as she opened the door, her glasses seeming to enlarge her eyes. "I expect you to replace the pamphlet you lost!"
Ella stepped back, bumping into Flora.
"Oh!" She gulped, remembering Tante's warnings about Rózsa: don't argue.
"Yes, of course, I will replace it."
She wasn't sure how to get a replacement or how much it would cost.
Not having found a fight, Rózsa quieted, her voice an octave lower.
"Well, then, come in. We have business to discuss."
Ella entered the room, already crowded with others. Flora hesitated at the door.
"I'll wait in the carriage, Miss." She retreated.
It was only then that Ella looked around the room, seeing Tante. She nodded at Tante.
And Ede!
Why was Ede here?
"Hello, Ella!" Tante grinned. "I understand you and Dr. Herczeg have met before."
"Yes."
Ella looked at Ede. His brows lifted and then settled darkly in a grimace. He must have been as surprised at this meeting as she was. He studied the floor.
Tante's eyes darted between the two young people.
"Dr. Herczeg was interested in meeting Rózsa, and since I was coming to see her today, I invited him along."
Ella was sure Tante had not invited Ede today as a convenience. She knew exactly what she was doing.
Tante focused on Rózsa. "Rózsa, Suska told me about a book that she thought should be translated, a book in your library."
"Which book is that?"
Tante rubbed her chin. "Oh, I can't remember the title. Something about marriage."
Rózsa snorted. "That would include about half my books."
"Yes, of course. I could probably remember the name if I saw it."
Tante headed to the other room, where most of the books were kept.
"Come Rózsa, help me find it."
Rózsa frowned, sighed, and followed Tante.
Ella looked at Ede, who had taken one of the two chairs in the room, his eyes on his folded hands.
"Ede."
She didn't know what she wanted to say.
"I want to still be your friend."
His eyes still cast down, he exhaled a nasty little snort.
"We have always been friends."
Silence.
"Always."
He cleared his throat, but his voice was gruff when he whispered.
"We were friends when I understood you."
"Understood me?"
He looked up at her, his face white, his eyes hard.
"I thought I did. I thought I understood your hesitation when we talked about having children. I thought I understood when you wanted to know about contraception. But now."
His body lurched in a silent mirthless laugh.
"Now, you just don't want to be married."
He bobbed his head.
"No reason. You just don't want to be married."
Ella bit down on her lower lip. She had her reason. But she couldn't tell him.
"Maybe you don't want to be married to me in particular. If so, I must be detestable." He exhaled, his shoulders sagging.
"Or maybe you just don't want to marry at all." He shook his head. "Which I don't understand." He lowered his eyes.
"I suppose I have a choice: to think myself undesirable or to not understand you. I choose to not understand you."
Ella's tried to inhale, but her throat had tightened and she could not breathe. Of course he didn't understand, because she hadn't told him the reason.
"There is something...."
Tante's gleeful voice rang out from the other room. "That's it."
Ella didn't want to marry, but she hadn't thought she would lose Ede's friendship. She had to explain.
"There is something else, some other reason...."
How could she possibly tell him?
Tante entered the room, holding a large volume. "'The History of Human Marriage'. Suska said this was an important book, one that needed to be translated."
Ede stood up and held out his hand for the book.
"May I?"
Tante gave it to him. He sat again, paging through the table of contents. He nodded.
"Yes, yes." He looked up at Tante. "An important book. I should have thought of this as an important project."
He looked down and turned the page. "You said Suska recommended this?"
"Yes, yes." Tante’s broad smile betrayed her triumph. "Suska Agoston."
"I should like to be introduced, Tante."
"Of course, Dr. Herczeg." She gave him a quick nod. "So you think this is a book that should be translated? A project you would support."
"Yes, indeed."
"Then I propose that you hire Ella to do that translation."
Ella gaped at Tante. Not only had this meeting been engineered by Tante, so had the assignment.
"Just a moment." Rózsa’s shrill voice interrupted. "I have found several tutoring positions for Ella." She puckered her lips. "At your request, if you don't mind."
Rózsa’s face grew red. Ella thought she would explode into a rage.
"She will take those positions. Otherwise I will ignore your future requests."
"Now, now, Rózsa, my dear." Tante gave her a little smile. "I am sure that Ella can handle the positions you have found and also work on this translation."
Ella looked from one conniving woman to the other. She wanted work. She was happy to have the tutoring jobs. And she wanted to have a chance to win Ede's friendship back.
"I will be able to handle the tutoring and the translation."
"Of course you can." Tante looked from Ella, to Rózsa, who seemed a little less agitated, to Ede, who leaned back in his chair, his eyes closed.
"Then it's settled."
Ella Explains
Aunt Ilona's offer of room and board came with requirements. They weren't spoken requirements, but they became obvious one after the other.
Ella needed to behave like a proper lady, and proper ladies didn't walk on the streets of Buda by themselves. The tutoring job that Rózsa had found was, fortunately, in Buda, an easy stroll from Ilona's, but Ella's aunt insisted that Flora walk her to the tutoring appointments and pick her up once the session was complete.
Ella supposed she could object, but she had sympathy for her aunt. Her aunt was such a good-hearted woman and she was doing what she thought was proper. But it was more than that. She was doing what the neighbors thought proper. Ella needed to honor that.
Similarly Aunt Ilona insisted that Ella was not to meet a single man in his hotel room. Ede would come to dinner or tea and, after he had been properly fed, the two young people could work.
So it was that a week after the meeting at Rózsa's, Ede entered Ilona's salon. He embraced Ilona, kissing her on each cheek and presenting her with a bouquet of summer flowers.
Ella stood behind Ilona, apparently unnoticed.
"Oh, Ede, such pretty flowers!" Ilona smiled broadly. "I'll just get a vase for them."
She rushed from the room, leaving Ede standing, straight and stiff.
"Hello, Ede." Ella tried to smile, but the angry-school-teacher look on Ede's face made it hard. "Won't you sit down?"
He nodded and sat on one of the overstuffed chairs. He opened his brief case and pulled a large book from it.
"I thought you might find this helpful."
Ella took the book, recognizing Ede's Hungarian-English dictionary, the one she had longed for when she was translating The Fruits of Philosophy.
"Thank you!"
She looked at his still stern face.
She couldn't blame him.
This was not his idea.
She supposed he had accepted Tante's proposal just so he would not seem churlish, to stay in Tante's good graces.
"I do have a list of words I didn't know. I will just look them up now and you can take it back with you."
It was a good excuse to retreat from Ede's irate p
resence.
Ella ran into Aunt Ilona at the door.
"Where are you going, dear? Dinner is ready."
They settled at the table. Flora had prepared a splendid meal, a light consommé to start, roast pork with cucumber salad and new potatoes, and fruit and Brie for dessert.
Ede talked to Ilona, asking her about her childhood on the farm near Zalasárszeg, about her life in Budapest, about her late husband, Sandor, who had owned a flour mill with his brother.
Ilona chatted, looking at Ella now and again.
Ella kept her eyes down, pushing the meat around her plate.
"Well, my dears, you should work in Sandor's office."
She ushered them down the hall to the room past the salon.
"Flora has taken the covers off and freshened it."
She opened the door.
"It is nice to have this room used again."
Ella stepped into the office. Sandor's desk faced the door, a painting of a young, beautiful Ilona over it. Two substantial chairs covered in a dark fabric faced the desk, with a little table between them. A window looked out on the villa's private garden. Across from the window, a sofa, matching the chairs, stood pushed against the wall.
The room smelled of furniture polish and floor wax, but the opened window brightened the space and let in a soft summer breeze.
"Come, Ede." Ilona beckoned to Ede.
He entered and took one of the chairs.
"Well, children, work hard." She smiled at them, as she backed out of the room. "While you labor, I shall take my afternoon nap."
"I've got to get my things." The book and her translation were in her room. "I shall be right back."
As she left the office she exhaled. She could hardly believe this angry Ede had been her friend. Maybe this distant Ede was better. She would translate the book. She would earn her money. And on the basis of that work she might get more work, more translations.
It would be fine.
When she returned, Ede was gazing out the window.
Ella put on a false smile. "While you review the translation, I’ll look up the questionable words."
"Very well."
Ede sat, taking the translation from her and a pen from his pocket. He started reading.
Ella placed her list of words on the desk and sat. After each word she found, she would glance up at Ede.
His face was relaxed now, the stiffness of his body smoothed away. He would make a note on the page, then continue reading.
When Ella had come to the end of her list of problem words, she folded her hands, waiting for Ede to finish.
He looked up, a little smile on his face.
"This is good, Ella. Very good." He pointed to the chair next to his. "Come, sit and let's talk about it."
She did as he had asked.
"This word, 'ethnography', you have translated as 'sociology'." I think it is a little different."
She nodded.
"Of course, these are words you have not run into before."
She smiled. "And your dictionary hasn't either! It was the first word on my list, and it's not in your dictionary."
The sound of his laugh, the beautiful melody of his laugh sang out, piercing her heart, choking her lungs, closing her throat.
She coughed.
She looked away, but she could not stop the tears.
Or the sobs.
She surrendered to them, letting her body shake with each wail.
"Ella, Ella." Ede knelt before her holding her shoulders. "What is it, Ella?"
"There is a reason."
She tried to draw in a breath, but sputtered. Closing her eyes, she willed herself to be calm.
"There is a reason I left."
He wiped her eyes with his handkerchief.
"All right." He looked deep into her eyes.
She inhaled, shuddering. "But I can't tell you."
"You must tell me. I need to understand. I need to understand you."
"But Ede, this is...." She swallowed. "This is...."
"Ella, I know it can be hard to explain." His eyes swept across her face. "I remember how hard it was to tell you...."
"I remember."
She shook her head. She remembered his confession. But she had not demanded it. He had confessed because he wanted to.
"This is different."
Now he was demanding a reckoning.
"This is harder."
"OK. It's harder." Impatience clipped his words. "But I need to know."
She exhaled. "Do you believe...."
She looked past him, her hand grasping the chair's arms so her fingers grew numb. "
“Do you believe Father is a good man?"
She looked at him, waiting for the answer.
His hazel eyes held her gaze.
"Uncle has always been kind to me."
"And Mother? Have you ever known her to lie?"
"Auntie can be quite stern and demanding, but I have never known her to lie."
He returned to his chair, resting his elbows on his knees and his chin on his hands.
"But, what does this have to do with your leaving?"
"Everything."
He stared at her not saying a word, not moving. Just waiting.
The wall clock ticked. "Mother said...."
Ella gulped.
"Yes?" Ede sat up, his eyes on hers, insistent.
"Mother said that...."
Ella shook her head.
"I don't know how to say this...."
She closed her eyes, so she felt as if she were not telling him, making it easier to let the words flow.
"She said that Father did disgusting things, that he made her do disgusting things, that...."
She opened her eyes and returned his stare.
"She said that if she did not do these things... he would... he did... he hurt her."
She gulped again, her eyes welling.
"She said that men are bigger and stronger than women–" How could she say these things to Ede, accusing him of.... “–and that if we did not obey them, they would hurt us."
Ede shook his head no, but she continued.
"I told her you would never do that to me, and she laughed at me."
Ella’s voice was a raspy whisper.
"Ah, yes, she said, that was what I thought. Everyone thought, she said, that Father was a kind, generous man, a good man, but on the wedding night...."
"Ella, my beloved Ella...."
She interrupted again. "Miklos said I will have to obey you if we were married."
"Yes, my dear, dear Ella. I understand."
She waited for him to deny that it would be like this. He stood, facing the window, so Ella saw his profile, his forefinger tapping his lips. Finally, as if he had made a decision, he turned to her and stroked her head. "Thank you for telling me. Truth is your greatest gift."
She waited for more. For a denial. For something. But there was nothing, though his eyes were no longer stern. They were thoughtful. Ella knew that look, when Ede was thinking, forming a plan.
She studied him. She did not get the denial she wanted. She could not demand it. She searched his face. The denial wasn't there.
She sighed. She probably would never get it. But that was all right. She had explained herself and she thought he understood.
He understood and he was her friend again.
Clara Comes to Town
The sun, filtered by the oak tree, shone into the dining room as Aunt Ilona and Ella ate their breakfast.
"Clara arrives this afternoon."
Ella looked up from her food. "Clara?"
"Yes." Aunt Ilona smiled as she exhaled. "As you might imagine, your mother has been quite upset, so she has gone to your grandmother's."
She sipped her coffee.
"A good idea, I think."
Kind Ilona, Ella thought. She did not blame Ella for her mother's upset, though it really was her fault. "Of course."
"Clara's been a little lost, without you o
r her mother, and with your father and Miklos busy at the factory, so your father asked me whether Clara might stay with me for a while."
"That's good."
Ella felt a little numb, but it was good. Clara would be good company. Maybe Clara could even be her "companion," so that Flora would not have to escort Ella to her tutoring job.
"That's very good."
"I thought you would like it. Flora has prepared one of the rooms upstairs. One we haven't used since...." Ilona looked out the window. "Since I can't remember."
She looked back at Ella. "It's very nice really, very nice for a lonely widow, to have a full house."
Ella took a bite of her roll and nodded.
"Of course her tutor is coming too. Moni, is it?"
"Yes."
Ella thought of the middle-aged lady who took care of Clara. One day she might be just like Moni, something between a teacher, a nanny, and a companion for a young girl. It was not such a bad life.
"I think you will like Moni."
"They're arriving this afternoon. Andras will pick them up and I shall go too. Would you like to come?"
Ella would tutor the little Meier boys this morning, but she was free this afternoon.
"Yes, of course."
That afternoon, Ella spotted Clara in the crowd walking toward the terminal, tugging on Moni's arm. When Clara saw Ella she broke free from Moni's grasp and ran to Ella, hugging her, tears running down her face. As she held onto Ella, she whispered questions.
"Mimi, why did you leave? Why aren't you getting married? When are you coming home? It's so lonely without you!"
Ella knelt down, wiping Clara's tears away. "It's OK, little sleuth. We're together now."
She drew the crying child into an embrace. Ella blinked away tears. She had not considered how her actions affected Clara.
Clara's sobs subsided and Ella held her at arm’s length. "I am so happy you are here." Then she whispered in Clara's ear, "Be a brave soldier. Put a smile on your face. Say hello to Aunt Ilona."
Clara did smile and turned to her aunt. "Hello, Aunt Ilona."
Aunt Ilona ruffled Clara's hair and pulled her ear. "So glad you came, Clara. We shall have a splendid time here. We have all of Budapest to explore."
"What would we explore?"
Ella thought Aunt Ilona should have been a mother. She wondered why Ilona never had children.
"Well, here in Budapest there are some lions that don't have tongues."
