by Danah Logan
Is she serious?
I have no patience for her games. Plus, doesn’t she realize that I know all of them? We were together for years.
"Need?" I raise an eyebrow. "You mean you need me to keep your position at the top," I say, deadpan.
That gets a reaction out of her, and she moves a step back, looking at me in disbelief. Yeah, I guess I really never talked back to her. I never needed to.
Her green eyes blaze with something I recognize immediately. Fury. She doesn’t like not getting her way.
"What the fuck is going on with you? Are you doing this because of your sister?"
Wha—?
I feel myself pale but am able to compose myself—I think. "What does Lilly have to do with this?"
She puts her hands on her hips and snarls, "First, she shows up at your match, and you talk to her. I don’t hear from you at all over Christmas break. You drag me to her idiotic gymnastics meet, followed by you breaking up with me. Oh, and don’t forget that you didn’t go on the ski trip as planned, and no one saw you or your sister during that time. Notice a pattern here?"
Why does she have to start paying attention all of a sudden? She hasn’t given two shits about what I’ve done for years.
"How— She is my sister; we talk." Amongst other things, but she doesn’t need to know that. "You and I do our own thing during breaks. Since when did that change?" I catch myself before I question how the hell she knows about the ski trip. I don’t remember talking to Kat about my plans before Christmas break at all.
"How do I know?" Of course, she doesn’t let it go. "Do you really think I don’t make it my business to know where my boyfriend is?"
I want to laugh in her face. I’m ninety-nine percent sure she has banged someone else during every break we didn’t spend together, and she’s pulling the boyfriend card?
"You always texted, even during breaks." She stomps her foot and looks like a little girl. I almost feel bad. Almost.
I try the reasonable route. "Kat, I can’t do this anymore. We were never about the happily ever after. It was about convenience, and you know that. We would’ve parted ways anyway once the year is over." I’m almost pleading. She has to acknowledge this.
"So? You found someone more convenient?"
I have, but that’s none of your business.
I sigh. "No, I’m simply tired of pretending we’re something we’re not."
"You will regret this! We had plans." The venom drips from every word. No one dismisses Katherine Rosenfield, and I just did.
After one more glare, she spins around and storms off.
Well, fuck me. Now we have a psycho stalker and a psycho ex to deal with.
The burning sensation in my chest won’t go away all morning. I wait for Rhys to text me, tell me what Katherine wanted, and that everything is fine. We’re not even together for twenty-four hours, and the drama already starts. That’s what you get when you start a secret relationship with your adopted brother. I have enough problems with my psycho stalker. Do I really need this kind of drama? Of course I do; this is Rhys. What am I even thinking? Jealousy is an ugly trait and not something I’ve experienced before.
Add that to the list of things to discuss with my future therapist.
I don’t see or hear from Rhys until lunch. Denielle and I sit at our usual table, still waiting for Sloane and Emma, when Wes and Rhys walk up. Wes plops down at the table while Rhys remains standing behind his best friend, hands in his pockets, acting bored—his school persona on full display.
"D, we’re grabbing something to eat after practice tonight. You guys want to join?"
I am focused on my tray like it holds the most delicious meal in the world and not a slice of soggy cheese pizza. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Denielle silently asking me what she’s supposed to do, but I don’t react. It takes all my concentration not to show any emotion toward Rhys.
Finally, she clears her throat. "Umm, sure. Text me when and where." She decided for me.
"Cool. Talk to you later."
Wes starts pushing out of the chair but stops when Rhys makes no indication to move.
Don’t look up, don’t look up, I chant over and over in my head. If I make eye contact, I won’t be able to keep a neutral face.
Why hasn’t he texted?
I have not once cared when a guy didn’t message me; I simply moved on. But this is different. My feelings, my entire frame of mind—and not just because of the other thing going on in my life. Rhys is different. I care about him. No, I love him, and I don’t want to lose him. Again. How do I know that my stalking kidnapper won’t harm me, but Rhys talks to his ex, and I go off the deep end?
I stifle a groan.
"Seems like the Wicked Bitch still has her claws in you." My eyes snap to Denielle, who is glaring directly at Rhys. What is she doing?
Rhys swears under his breath. He talks to Den, but his answer is directed toward me. "She wanted to talk."
"If you say so," Denielle says coolly. She’s in full-on guard dog mode.
Rhys finally glances at me. "Cal?"
I still don’t trust myself to speak.
"Not here," Denielle hisses disapprovingly. She makes him understand that this is not the time or place, and I could kiss her for that.
Wes takes over, almost a little too loud. "Dude, let’s grab some food. I’m starving." Then, he basically manhandles Rhys toward the lunch line.
As soon as they’re gone, I lift my head, and my gaze collides with Katherine’s, who is standing near her usual table, openly glaring at me. She must have followed the entire exchange. This is getting better and better.
"Babe?" Den bumps her leg against mine, and I focus on her.
I mumble an embarrassed, "Thanks." One word to convey that, without her and Wes taking over the situation, I either would’ve thrown a jealous tantrum or broken down in tears.
Before she can reply, my phone next to my tray lights up with a text from Rhys. I swipe, and Denielle leans in to read it as well.
I SWEAR nothing happened. It’s over. She wanted to talk. I’ll explain.
Next to me, Denielle chuckles and bumps my shoulder. "I believe him. He looks like he’s about to puke. Put him out of his misery."
I pretend to grab something from my bag on the floor and glance back to where Rhys and Wes are standing in line. Den is right. He has a greenish tint, and the anxiety that has been buzzing through my body all morning evaporates. I’ve been overreacting.
I take my lip gloss out of my bag and carefully apply it. I’m fully aware that Katherine’s still watching me, so I take my time before grabbing my phone.
I believe you.
I haven’t put it down yet when another bubble appears.
ILY
Den barks out a laugh. "Oh my, he’s got it bad. Poor guy."
That puts the first smile since arriving at school on my face.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Wes texts Denielle sometime during practice. We’re meeting the guys at Bones, a local BBQ place that serves everything on the bone. It’s far enough out of town that not many high school students go there during the week, which I’m sure is why they picked it.
I drop my car off at home and ride with Den, figuring I’ll either drive back with her or Rhys. Rhys’s and Wes’s cars are both already in the parking lot when we pull in, and Denielle lets out a string of curse words.
"Why do they have to pick the one place with a gravel parking lot? If I find one scratch on my paint, I’m going to kill Wes."
Denielle drives a brand-new, shiny, gray Audi Q3, which she got for her seventeenth birthday. I shouldn’t have been surprised since her previous Audi was a hand-me-down from her brother, Oliver, when he left for college, and was already two years old. Of course she needed a new one. At least, that’s how her mom justified it. But then, this is pocket money for Mr. Keller, who is a neurosurgeon in the city. Every so often, I’m still surprised how down-to-earth my best friend is compared to some of
the others with parents on the wealthier side.
Before exiting the car, I turn to Denielle. "Is this weird?"
She peers at me questioningly.
"That we’re all having dinner together? I mean, now that Rhys and I..." Heat creeps into my cheeks.
Denielle smirks. "Oh, you mean because you are sucking face with your brother?"
"Den!" I scowl at her.
That makes her laugh even harder. "I’m sorry, babe, I can’t help it. I understand what you’re asking, and the answer is, I have no idea."
My stomach clenches. I’m glad she’s honest with me, but it doesn’t make me feel better.
"I’ve known both of you forever, but as I told you before, you guys have never been the typical brother-sister pair." She makes air quotes around typical. "I guess what I’m trying to say is, we’ll have to wait and see. It’s not like this is a normal, everyday situation. Probably no one could say at this point how they’d feel about it?" She phrases it more like a question and shrugs her shoulders.
The elongated silence in the car is starting to get uncomfortable when she slaps one hand on my thigh. "Let’s go. Don’t let your guy wait any longer."
The boys are in a booth farthest from the entrance and windows. The inside of Bones is dark. There is no other way to put it. The tinted windows don’t let a lot of natural light in, and the walls have wood paneling probably last replaced sometime in the seventies. The brown and beige tile-looking linoleum floor, same era, is paired with brown linoleum chairs and bench seats around more beige tables. I don’t think I have to worry about being spotted in here with Rhys. I can barely make out anything myself. The majority of the light comes from the various neon beer signs and random phrases the owner has collected over the years. Definitely not from the pendant lights hanging over the individual tables, whose light bulbs seem to have been installed at the same time as the wood paneling.
Both look up as we approach the table, and Wes stands, letting Denielle and me scoot in. Den waits for me to move next to Rhys, and I don’t know if I should be excited or embarrassed. This whole situation is...awkward.
No one says anything, and I begin to feel like this was a bad idea when Wes clears his throat. "So, Lil...am I correct to assume there isn’t a chance anymore?" He gestures with one finger between him and me with a ridiculous grin plastered all over his face, eyebrows wiggling suggestively.
Rhys scowls at him. "What the fuck, man?"
Wes just shrugs as if saying it was worth a shot. I have to laugh at his attempt to break the ice. He accomplished what he set out to do; the weird tension is gone. Denielle rolls her eyes, and I smile. "Sorry, I’m taken."
I reach for Rhys’s hand under the table, and he immediately interlaces our fingers, giving it a squeeze.
I’m home.
Wes places a hand over his heart and sighs dramatically in mock disappointment. We’re all cracking up at this point. He holds out his fist to Rhys but looks at me. "Too bad. But I get it. If I would swing that way, I would totally go after his tight ass."
I turn when Rhys bumps his fist to Wes’s and find him looking down at me. He has a goofy grin on his face, and I hear Denielle on the other side, "Awwww!"
I blush but allow myself that one moment to pretend we are a normal couple. I lean into Rhys, resting my head against his shoulder and close my eyes.
Dinner passes as if it has always been this way. We joke, reminisce about old times, talk about the guys’ upcoming matches and our invitationals. Everyone is at ease, and it feels so good to be able to be myself around my friends. We don’t talk about the elephant in the room, also known as my past, but I’m sure it will come up eventually. For now, I simply let myself enjoy the moment.
As we walk toward the cars, I pull Denielle aside. "Is it okay if I ride with Rhys?" The awkward feeling is back.
She genuinely smiles at me. "Sure thing, babe. I’ll see you in the morning."
She gives me a side hug and joins Wes, a few paces ahead, who is still talking to Rhys. They separate and go to their respective cars while I join Rhys at his Defender.
How did it go from kissing Lilly good morning and feeling on top of the world to being completely fucked up within five hours? Standing in the lunch line, I see Kat eyeing her—this is not good.
Wes leans in. "Kat is going to make your life hell, dude. Or more like Lilly’s. She suspects something but can’t put her finger on it."
I haven’t told him yet what Kat said to me this morning. He’s perceptive and definitely correct on that account. Kat has become a problem.
"I know."
As I hold Lilly’s hand under the table, everything falls back into place. I spent the entire day looking over my shoulder, expecting my ex to stalk me.
Finally alone with her in the car, I exhale a long breath. As soon as the dome light turns off, I reach for Lilly’s hand and say, "I swear that nothing happened with Kat."
She angles her body toward me.
"I know." Her voice is soft, and her thumb gently strokes back and forth over our intertwined fingers. "I...I was just...I’m not good at this."
She sounds embarrassed, and I give her hand a squeeze. If she knew what a fucking mess I was, she wouldn’t feel that way.
In a low tone, she asks, "What did she want?"
I press my lips together briefly before speaking. "She kind of tried to change my mind."
Lilly turns her face forward, and I can see the hard lines around her eyes.
"Not because she loves me or wants to be with me; it’s all about her image. She had this whole thing about prom and whatnot planned out in her head, and I screwed that up for her." I’m not sure if I’m making the situation better or worse. I neglect the fact that Kat has some suspicion about Lilly having something to do with all of it. Logically, I should tell her, but I want to protect her so badly. I may not be able to hide her from her stalker again, but at least I can keep Kat’s craziness away from her. I hope.
Hesitantly, Lilly turns back. "What did you respond?"
"That I’m done pretending. We’re over." Without intending to, my tone is hard, almost angry.
"I bet she didn’t take that well," Lilly says cheekily. My confident girl is back, and I’m so relieved I could cry.
Yes, I’m man enough to admit that.
"She did not. She’s used to getting what she wants." My amused tone fades, and I add, "We need to be careful around her."
Lilly huffs out a breath and looks away from me.
"Cal?"
"Hmm-hmm?"
"You’re it for me." She has to get that.
Lilly’s face is illuminated red from Bones’ neon sign. She stares ahead for several heartbeats then shifts toward me, placing both hands on my cheeks. "I know. I do. It’s just a lot right now. Everything is so new, and I’m not used to this relationship stuff—to being jealous or insecure when it comes to a guy."
Her hands fall to the middle console, and I take them in mine. "Me, neither, babe."
The rest of the week, Lilly and I fall into a routine. First school, then practice, and because Dad is still out of town, Lilly spends the evenings with Mom and Natty. I’m glad she is making an effort, because even if Mom hid it well, she did notice the shift in her daughter.
Once Mom and Natty are in bed, I sneak across the hall, and for a few hours, it’s the two of us. We’re in our own world where we don’t have to pretend. That time is spent with a lot of making out. And fuck, she is good at it. I can’t get enough of this girl. Never in my wildest—extremely graphic—dreams did I imagine the feel of her lips on mine being this mind-blowing. On more than one occasion, I have to stop us from going further, which always ends with Lilly’s grumbled whimper of protest. Not that I want to put the brakes on. Hell, I think, at this point, I’m more acquainted with cold showers and my hand than any guy should ever be, but I need to do this right. I’ve waited too long for this—for her. Then, there is our double truckload of baggage we need to work through if we want thi
s to work long-term.
Coach is at a conference, so I don’t have practice on Friday. Looking forward to a few hours alone with Lilly before Mom and Natty get home, I head to my car and come to a dead stop when I spot Kat leaning against it.
My steps slow until I’m right in front of her. "What do you want?"
She saunters toward me, hips swaying, and places one hand against my abdomen as if my icy tone was an invitation to grope me. "I just want to see if you have reconsidered yet?"
I take a step back, breaking the contact. "There is nothing to reconsider. I told you we’re done."
I know the look in her eyes. She is set on convincing me—at all costs. What she doesn’t understand is that there is nothing she could offer me that would make me turn my back on Lilly. But I can’t tell her that.
Kat pushes forward so she’s flush against me. Her hands pushing into my jacket and around my waist, we’re nose to nose. Her lips hover over mine, not touching, but I feel her breath. The next words out of her mouth make my blood run cold. "I have no idea what weird thing you have going on with your sister, but I intend to find out. And I promise you, you will come back to me when I’m through with her."
With that, she puts her sweet but fake smile on and walks away as if nothing happened.
Fuck.
Chapter Thirty-Six
By the time I meet with Spencer on Saturday, I am completely fidgety.
I’ve been on cloud nine all week. No more texts from my psycho stalker; besides a few stolen glances, I’ve been able to keep it together at school; after almost a year of practice, I finally mastered the double back; and to top off my good mood, Rhys and I spend our nights holed up in my room—just the two of us. Wednesday and Thursday night, I fell asleep in his arms, and he stayed until the alarm went off at four a.m. It was the best sleep I’ve had in months.
