Jack looked down to discover clenched fists. Shit.
Patrick whistled and shook his head. “Sex with a girl in her twenties. Man, you’re gonna be glad I kept dragging your ass to tennis all these years.” He picked up the bottle and stood. “Come now, Master. Let’s get this back where it belongs. I don’t want to have to put you on lockdown again.”
When his friend finally left, Jack retreated to his home office in the attic. It was Josh’s old room, but he’d been using it as a study for years. After booting up his computer, he signed into Facebook and navigated to Lilly’s profile. Once again, he focused on her photo, this time understanding the heartbreak in her expression, and why her smile didn’t seem genuine.
He sat back and sighed. She thought of herself as broken, but underneath her scars she was courageous and brave. She proved it at the diner, and in how she baited him in the hallway. She bit back, and it made him want to bite her even harder.
Biting Lilly. Fuck.
Could he do this? The idea of writing up a contract with her sounded so shallow, but then again, she was a submissive. He was a Dominant.
This was who they were.
Jack closed his eyes. Eve knew being dominant was a part of him, both when she agreed to wear his collar and when she insisted he take it off. This wasn’t what she’d asked of him, but maybe that was okay. This had nothing to do with falling in love. Lilly simply wanted to be dominated again, and he could offer her that.
It didn’t have to be a long-term thing. They could just do it once—scratch this itch and satisfy the hunger between them. And then he’d kiss her sweet, pouty lips until she was begging for his touch. Until he’d driven her into a trembling wreck of sex and submission and made her come for him over and over and over again.
Cracking his knuckles, Jack opened his eyes, straightened his posture and began to type.
Chapter Twelve
The words on Lilly’s computer screen had started to swim. Her eyes burned, and she squeezed them shut to force them to focus. It didn’t help that she barely got any rest the night before. She’d been taunted by different nightmares, ones that reminded her how she’d wanted Jack to do the very thing she swore she’d never allow anyone to do to her again.
It had all happened so fast. She’d guessed what Jack might do if she called him Sir again, and she’d been right. She loved his reaction, and as much as she couldn’t believe it, the feeling of being so helpless too, trapped between him and the wall. She’d felt unbearably free somehow. With a look that felt as if it reached into her soul, he allowed her permission to give in to the part of herself that wouldn’t be quieted. And the way he kissed her. God, she would’ve done anything he asked, even fallen to her knees right there in the hallway. But he’d pulled away so quickly, practically bolting out the door. Only his explanation that he had to leave before things got even more heated had stopped her from thinking he regretted it.
At least, that was how she’d felt before half the day had gone by and she hadn’t heard from him.
She glanced at her work phone for what felt like the fiftieth time, confirming that she hadn’t missed a call, nor had she put on her do not disturb without realizing it. She’d been waiting for his call all day, but now it was nearly dinnertime, and her hopes had finally faded. She’d cried silently in the bathroom stall a hour ago, half-angry at him for getting her hopes up, half-furious at herself for being so upset over the whole thing. She’d lived through worse than this. Not hearing back from a guy a day after he’d kissed her shouldn’t have bothered her so much.
“I can’t believe I’m just getting here when it’s dark out.”
Lilly’s head shot up at the sound of Cassie’s voice. Both she and Gabe had been at client meetings all day. Lilly had hoped to avoid them, not wanting to answer any questions about her disappearance the night before, but that wasn’t likely if either of them got a look at her post-sob-fest eyes. She bent down behind her screen and tried to look busy.
“I swear if I see another cup of coffee, I’m going to puke,” Cassie continued as she neared Lilly’s desk.
“I thought you liked client meetings because they got you out of the office,” Gabe said.
“I’d like them a lot better if it weren’t freezing outside.”
“Maybe it’s time for you to take a trip down to Miami and pay la familia a visit.”
“And be harassed by my mother about the lack of productivity of my uterus? No thank you.”
They stopped at Lilly’s cubicle. Gabe crossed his arms over the partition. “How’s our star doing?”
“The usual,” she replied, not looking up. “Working until my eyes bleed.”
“It looks like you’re halfway there already.”
Lilly quickly rubbed her eyes. “They’re dry. From staring at the screen.”
Cassie leaned down by her desk and caught her gaze.
Busted.
“Coffee,” Cassie suddenly said. “I need coffee. Lilly, come with me?”
Gabe raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t you just say you’d vomit if you had any more coffee?”
“I changed my mind. And I could use some fresh air.”
“I thought you said it was freezing out.”
“Are you a lawyer or a detective?” she snapped. “Lilly?”
Gabe held up his hands, and Lilly allowed Cassie to tow her past him and down the hall. Once they were outside, Cassie threaded an arm through hers. The evening was laced with a bitter chill, and Lilly braced herself against the cold, burrowing deeper into her coat and closer to her friend.
“I knew you weren’t drunk last night,” Cassie said. “Those pictures were awful. They should’ve had a sign by the stairs. A warning or something.”
“They weren’t that bad.”
A pfft sound came out from between Cassie’s lips. “I tried to stop you from going in there. I wish you’d listened to me.”
Lilly kept her head down as Cassie chattered on. She wanted to tell her friend what really happened, but couldn’t bring herself to talk about it. When her cell buzzed in her pocket, she pulled it free with numb hands, expecting a work email, but it was her personal email announcing a Facebook message. From Jack.
Her pulse began to race. With a sideways glance to check that Cassie wasn’t looking, she opened the message.
Lilly—I’m sorry I haven’t been able to reach you until now. I hope you don’t think I’ve been ignoring you. I wasn’t happy with how we left things last night, and I’d really like to talk, but I’d prefer to do it in person. Is there a good time for us to meet?
Her stomach somehow found its way up into her chest. Lilly read the message again, her body warming from the inside out, the tension she’d felt all day evaporating like steam. Angling the phone away from Cassie’s line of sight, she opened the Facebook messenger app and covertly typed a response.
It’s okay. I should be able to leave the office in an hour. Would that work?
His answer came through a few seconds later.
Let’s meet at Rosie’s again. Eight thirty.
A sudden burst of happiness made her hands shake. Unable to hide her smile, she quickly replied, telling him she’d be there. She needed to get back to the office and finish some things up, but Cassie was still droning on.
“Cass, I’m fine,” she said when she could finally get a word in. “I was surprised by the photos, but they didn’t upset me. I just had too much to drink.”
She eyed Lilly warily. “You sure?”
“I am. I promise. Can we go back now? I can’t feel my hands.”
Back at the office, Lilly got through the remainder of her work as quickly as possible, then booked it out of there. At twenty past eight, she entered the diner. The walk from the T station had left a chill on her cheeks, but the cold became a distant memory when she found Jack in their booth and his eyes met h
ers. It was heat, plain and simple. A fire that reached into her bones. She’d told herself to be cautious on the trip over, but it was hard to keep her wits about her once she was seated across from him.
“How was your day?” he asked.
“Fine. Busy.”
Jack’s brow creased. “Your eyes are red.”
She hadn’t expected him to notice. It was startling how much he seemed to catch. But she didn’t want to tell him she’d been obsessing over him all day like a teenager. She waved it off and smiled.
“Just a long day staring at the computer. How about you?”
“Busy too. Classes full of terrified first years who have no clue what they’re getting into, then meetings with panicked advisees.” He frowned and looked at her intently again. “Eyes don’t get that red from too much screen time, Lilly.”
She glanced at the table, part of her pleased that he cared enough to push the subject, and partly uneasy at what felt like an admonishment. It forced her to be honest with him.
“I was a little upset when it started getting late. I was hoping you’d call earlier.”
He sighed. “I don’t have your cell number and I didn’t want to contact you at work. I thought Facebook was the best way to keep things…private.”
“Oh.” Her gut twisted at the word, although she wasn’t sure why. She wasn’t exactly blabbing about this either. “I understand.”
“I had every intention of talking to you today, though. Don’t doubt that.”
His voice softened and he tilted his head, as if to say I’m a man of my word. The chivalrous gesture deflated her anxiety.
“I believe you,” she said. “So…what did you want to talk about?”
Jack sat forward and clasped his hands on the table. “First, I need to apologize for yesterday. I didn’t handle myself very well.”
“It’s okay—”
“No. It’s not. I shouldn’t have left you like that.”
Something like hope fluttered in her stomach. “You wanted to stay?”
“Of course.” He leaned closer to her, his voice low and soft. “You don’t make it easy for me to control myself around you, little girl.”
Desire curled through her, so intense she had to press her thighs together. “I didn’t want you to stop.”
Jack inhaled—a long, deep breath that he took in through his nose.
“Clearly we’re very attracted to each other, and we both have needs that are currently unfulfilled.” He studied her for a moment before asking, “Did you mean what you said? About wanting to submit to someone again?”
Lilly swallowed. “Yes.”
The answer came to her more quickly than she expected, but it was the truth. How else could she explain how easily she’d given in last night, how swiftly she’d fallen back into the mindset she’d put aside long ago, sure it wasn’t for her?
“Okay then.” Jack reached down beside him and handed her a stack of papers. “I have a proposition for you.”
She glanced cautiously at the pile. “What’s all that?”
“Just read.”
Lilly scanned the first page. It was titled “Negotiation for First-Time Play”.
It was a contract, laying out the terms of a proposed arrangement between Jack Archer, a.k.a. “the Dominant”, and Lilly Sterling, a.k.a. “the submissive”. She examined the agreement, her heart starting to pound when she reached item six: The submissive’s limits (See checklist).
He must have known what she was reading because he said, “It’s three pages in.”
She flipped ahead and discovered the most comprehensive list she’d ever seen, followed by several articles on BDSM. The last page had blank lines for the date and time of play, as well as Jack’s signature, address and phone number. There were spots next to it for hers. Lilly shoved a hand into her hair, her nerves taking over. Part of her wanted to say yes without reading anything else, and part of her wanted to run away.
As if he could sense her unease, Jack gently took the papers from her hands and placed them face down on the table.
“I’m not suggesting commitment. Just a day, to help you get comfortable with this again. And I don’t want you to give me an answer now. Think about it. But in case you’re wondering, I’ve been tested and can provide you with the results. If you decide you want to do this, I’ll expect the same from you.”
He brought his hand to her chin, tilting her face up until their eyes met.
“I will respect your limits, Lilly. Even if your answer is no.”
A tiny sigh of relief escaped her. Not only was he offering her time to absorb everything, he was telling her to take it. To be sure this was what she wanted. There was no pressure, no expectation from him, and some of the ice that had caged itself around her heart melted away.
“Okay. I’ll think about it.”
He paid for his coffee and they walked outside, stopping at his car.
“Can I drive you home?”
Remembering what happened the last time they were alone together set her teeth on edge, yearning clawing its way up her spine. She wanted to say yes, but a repeat of the previous night wasn’t going to help her think things through.
Lilly nodded toward the T. “Thanks, but my line is right there.”
Jack moved closer, his height a reminder of all the masculine strength she’d felt the night before. “I want to argue with you and see you home safely. But it’s not my place to give you orders. Not yet.”
Lilly shuddered. Somewhere deep inside she wanted him to overpower her. To press her up against his car and insist she go home with him. To burn away her demons and make her forget everything but him.
But all Jack did was press his lips to her forehead. His breath formed a warm cloud in the frigid air between them, the vapor kissing her face. A tingling sensation raced down her body, and Lilly closed her eyes briefly at the contact, reopening them when Jack pulled back. He gestured toward the station.
“Go. Call me when you’ve thought things through.”
Lilly walked backward a few steps before turning to cross the street. She paused at the corner and looked over her shoulder. Jack was by his car, watching her. It was so unfamiliar to be cared for like this.
He gave her a little nod, wordlessly telling her to go on. Lilly hugged the papers to her chest and hurried into the subway.
Chapter Thirteen
The purpose of this contract is to allow the submissive to explore her sexuality safely with respect and regard for her needs, her limits and her well-being.
Lilly curled up under her blanket, Rumbles purring loudly by her side.
The submissive is to serve, obey and please the Dominant.
A hot flush stole up her neck. The idea of serving Jack, obeying his commands and submitting to his will sparked an ache between her thighs that begged for her attention, but it scared her too. The simple act of reading through this felt like hazardous territory, a minefield of her past that could blow up at any moment.
She turned the page. The section entitled “Play” was first. It had been left blank, with a note to discuss it beforehand. A series of questions followed.
Does the submissive have a history of seizures? Of fainting?
What will ensure the submissive’s safety if the Dominant becomes unconscious?
She’d never thought of half these things before. Maybe Jack had gone to some kind of Dominance Safety 101 training. He seemed so meticulous; she wouldn’t have put it past him, if something like that even existed. At the end of the section, there was a spot to list a “safety call” person, with a note that said “to be determined”. Her breathing went tight at the idea of telling someone. Nick was her usual in case of emergency contact, but there was no way his name was going down here. Maybe she could make something up about a blind date and ask Cassie to call in case the guy turned out
to be a total psycho, but that didn’t seem appealing either. She left it blank and moved on.
Is it acceptable to the submissive if the play leaves marks?
God, yes.
Trepidation changed swiftly to longing as she imagined Jack strapping cuffs around her wrists, turning the skin there pink. Striping her ass with his hands, leaving it heated and stinging.
Lilly turned the page, ready to read more, but halted at the next heading.
Safewords.
A blank space was beneath it.
She had no idea what to write. “No” probably wasn’t a good option. The one time she’d said it to Damien, pleading with him to stop, he’d been so mad that he’d refused to speak to her for a week.
Putting the contract aside, she reached for the articles on “Risk Aware Consensual Kink” and “Safe, Sane and Consensual Play”. She read through them, her mind stalling over the word consent every time she saw it. It was a term she knew well from her legal training, and yet she’d never truly given it to Damien. How could she have consented to anything when she never knew what was coming? It was crazy to willingly give up control of your body to someone, and yet here she was, about to let Jack do the same thing.
This was totally different, though. It was one day, and she had some say in what was going to happen. Knowing she could say no, that she could tell him to stop, changed things.
She turned over and retrieved the checklist from the pile. Each term had several columns next to it where she was supposed to enter in a rating: curious, love, like, dislike, soft limit, hard limit. It was a strange kind of thrill—to be offered a chance to choose her surrender and in what ways. It was almost like Christmas, but with far more dangerous toys.
She started checking off the things she loved first. Teasing, fingering, dirty talk, oral—they all made the pulse between her legs grow even stronger. She paused at anal play and put a check mark under “curious”. Ropes? Cuffs? Chains? Yes, yes and more yes. She scanned through the different types of bondage, flogging and spankings. Whips were kind of scary, but she’d always wondered what a flogger felt like. Damien never used one on her, preferring to see his own handprints on her skin. Which, at the time, she hadn’t minded so much.
His Contract: Legally Bound, Book 1 Page 8
