by Robbi McCoy
“Sure.”
As she pushed herself up from her chair, he let his hand rest over hers briefly. She wasn’t used to a tender, serious-looking Womack like the sympathetic guy currently regarding her. It made her feel vulnerable and weak. Maybe that was the reason she couldn’t go back, she considered. Everybody would be looking at her like that. It’s one thing to be scarred on the inside where nobody could know about it. But everybody back there did know about it. Even if she could forget about it, which wasn’t likely, they wouldn’t. Seeing her, they’d be reminded. There was no way to go back to the way things used to be. And that was the only thing she wanted, to go back to the way things used to be.
She slapped Womack’s hand away with a disapproving grunt. “Hey, you got any new pictures of that kid of yours? Last time we talked, you said she was starting little league.”
He brightened. “Yeah! She’s got an arm on her you wouldn’t believe. I’ve got some shots of her right here on my phone.” He reached into his pocket.
“I’ll be right back with your refill and you can show me.” She climbed down the stairway into the cabin to get the beer.
Unlike her former colleagues, strangers knew only what she let them know. But Stef wasn’t sure she could hide her wounds even from strangers. They were still too raw. Jackie, for instance. Jackie knew there was something haunting her. Her eyes were full of sympathy, maybe even pity. It was unnerving and a little bit maddening. She didn’t want to see that reflection of herself in anyone’s eyes, especially not someone close to her. That was why she couldn’t tell Jackie. Their relationship, if there could be a relationship, couldn’t be a case of rescue. They had to be on a more equal footing. Maybe it was already too late for that, Stef surmised. Maybe Jackie only wanted to be with her because she thought of her as another three-legged cat.
She pulled two beers from the refrigerator, remembering the other day, the look on Jackie’s face when she left. She had been hurt that Stef hadn’t confided in her. What she didn’t know was how tempted Stef had been to do so. Looking into Jackie’s sincere, concerned face, she had wanted to tell her everything. She’d wanted to open herself up and pour herself out.
But it hadn’t been the right time with Marcus just down the hall in the bathroom. Afterward, she was relieved she’d held back. Wanting to share herself with someone worried her. What sharing meant, more than anything else, was making herself vulnerable. That was the scary side of love, showing someone your Achilles’ heel and then hoping they didn’t shove a spear in it. No, that wasn’t right. It wasn’t hoping. It was trusting.
She twisted the caps off the bottles, thinking, Jackie seems like one of the most trustworthy people I’ve ever met.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Stef waited at the paint counter in the local hardware store as a quart of Meander Blue was mixed up. The kid behind the counter held the can out to show her the color, a bright blue with a subtle hint of green, the color of a tropical sea in shade.
“Look right?” he asked.
She nodded, leaning heavily against the counter.
He hammered on the lid, then put the can in the shaking machine. Over the hum of the machine, Stef heard two elderly women chatting nearby. She wasn’t actually listening to them until she heard the name “Rudy Townsend.” Then she stood at attention and listened with interest.
“He’s in the hospital,” said one of the women. “Taken over to Lodi Memorial a couple hours ago by ambulance.”
“What happened?” asked the other woman.
“I don’t know. Maybe a heart attack. Hank Turner was delivering the mail on their street when the ambulance arrived. He said the paramedics carried Rudy out on a stretcher with an oxygen mask on. Poor Ida was in hysterics.”
The two women moved on to another topic as the clerk handed Stef’s can of paint over the counter. Outside the store, she called Jackie’s cell phone. No answer. She called the vet clinic. Niko answered and told her Jackie had left the office to attend to a family emergency.
“It’s her father, right?” Stef asked.
“Right. They took him to the hospital.”
“Have you heard anything?”
“No. Not yet.”
Stef hung up, wondering what to do. She wanted to do something. This was a potentially devastating turn of events for Jackie. Her family was so close, so much a part of her everyday life. If she were to lose her father…
“Hey!” she barked at a man walking through the parking lot. He stopped abruptly, looking around as she stepped toward him. “Do you know where Lodi Memorial Hospital is?”
The man, around fifty years old, in Bermuda shorts and a T-shirt, peered at her through a pair of thick prescription glasses. “Yes,” he said tentatively. “It’s in Lodi.”
“And where’s that?”
“You don’t know where Lodi is?”
“No.”
He looked astonished, then pointed to the east. “It’s over there.”
“How about drawing me a map to the hospital?” she suggested, opening one of her saddlebags to get a pad and pen.
“Okay,” the man agreed.
***
A half hour after leaving her office, in a state of high anxiety, Jackie burst into the hospital emergency room and asked for her father at the reception desk. Waiting for an answer, she caught sight of her mother in a nearby hallway, talking on her phone.
“Never mind,” she told the receptionist. “There’s my mother.”
She rushed over to Ida, who interrupted her call to give her daughter a hug.
“I’ll call you back,” she said into her phone. “Jackie’s here.”
“Where’s Dad?” Jackie demanded. “Is he okay? Becca said he had a heart attack.”
Ida waved her hand and shook her head. “It wasn’t a heart attack. He’ll be fine. Nothing to worry about.”
“What was it?” The casual expression on her mother’s face allowed Jackie to relax considerably.
“The doctor said ana…ana.” Ida frowned in frustration. “An allergic reaction.”
“Anaphylaxis?”
“Yeah, yeah, that’s it!”
Jackie breathed a deep sigh of relief. Not a heart attack. And he was going to be fine.
“We’re just waiting for him to be released now so we can go home. I’m sorry you had to leave work and come all the way out here for nothing.”
“It’s okay. I’m just glad it wasn’t serious.” Over her initial panic, Jackie noticed her mother’s outfit. It was the one she had given her, the tasteful white and yellow shorts set. “Mom, that outfit looks darling on you!”
“Your father said the same thing this morning before he collapsed. He said you should buy all my clothes. And I said, well, once in a while is okay, especially if she gets a good bargain like this, but I’d hate to give up my fun at the thrift store and the flea market.”
Jackie smiled resignedly as her mother pulled down on the hem of her shirt to straighten it, admiring the design. When she looked up again, Jackie was alarmed to see tears in her eyes.
“Oh, Jackie,” she sobbed. “I thought he was dying. He got all red and couldn’t breathe. I was scared to death.”
Jackie gave her mother a comforting hug, patting her back lightly. “It must have been horrible. What was it? A wasp? I know he’s allergic to wasps.”
Ida stopped crying abruptly and adopted an expression of resentment that startled Jackie. “How was I supposed to know he was allergic to papayas?”
“Papayas? He ate a papaya?”
“Thirty years and he never said a word about being allergic to papayas.”
“Oh!” Jackie exclaimed with sudden understanding. “The jerky?”
Her mother nodded, her mouth set defiantly. “I said, try this, it’s my new stuff. And he eats it, all the while knowing he’s allergic to papaya.”
“Did he know there was papaya in it?”
“Of course he didn’t know. That’s my secret ingredient.”
/> Jackie decided not to question her mother’s logic at a time like this. “Can I see him?”
“He’s right in there.” She pointed to a door on the left. “I’m just taking a break to make some calls. Everybody’s so worried, so I want to let them know he’s okay.”
Jackie nodded, then gave her mother another hug before slipping into the exam room where she found her father propped up in a bed connected to a monitor charting his vital signs. She glanced at the screen, reassured to see a regular, normal heartbeat and pulse. He wore a hospital gown, his legs and stockinged feet lying exposed on top of the sheets. Otherwise, he looked entirely normal. His color was good and he seemed fully alert. When she came in, he smiled and reached out for a hug.
“How do you feel?” she asked.
“Not bad. Still a little light-headed. Did you hear what happened?”
“I ran into Mom in the hall and she told me.”
He scowled. “Did she tell you she tried to kill me?”
Jackie sat on the doctor’s stool. “Not exactly. You shouldn’t say that. You’ll make her feel worse. And you’ll start a rumor.”
“It would serve her right. She’s always starting rumors about everybody else.”
Jackie couldn’t argue that point and could even see the humor and justice of it, but she knew her mother felt awful already and didn’t need to have it rubbed in.
“She thinks you should have told her about your papaya allergy.”
“I haven’t thought about that in nearly forty years. Once I ate a piece of dried papaya when I was a kid and broke out in hives. Nothing like what happened today.”
“That happens sometimes with food allergies. The reaction isn’t always the same.”
“And who would ever guess there’s papaya in beef jerky anyway?”
Jackie shrugged. “I’m guessing it won’t be there next time.”
“The doctor told her to get it out of the house.”
Jackie patted his arm. “I’m glad you’re okay. We had quite a scare.”
He nodded thoughtfully, then said, “Better it was me than some stranger, though. Imagine if some stranger had died from a piece of that jerky. His family would have sued us for everything we’re worth.” He shook his head, then looked up wide-eyed. “We were damn lucky!”
Jackie suppressed a smile. “That’s one way to look at it. I guess they won’t be admitting you.”
“No. I’ll be going home any minute, as soon as they give me the thumbs-up.”
A tentative rapping on the door drew their attention. Jackie recognized Stef’s eyes peeking in through the little window.
“Stef!” She jumped from the chair, astonished, and opened the door.
“I don’t want to intrude,” said Stef. “I just wanted to see if your dad was okay. I ran into your sister, and she told me you were in here.”
“Becca’s here?” Jackie asked.
“Everybody’s here,” Rudy replied, waving cheerfully at Stef. “We should have chartered a damn bus. When your grandfather heard they were serving meatloaf in the cafeteria, he hightailed it down there. That man is crazy for meatloaf. He’d eat it every day of his life if he could.” He shook his head, mystified.
“You look good, Mr. Townsend,” Stef said.
“I’m fine, just fine. It’ll take more than a papaya-laced piece of beef to kill me.”
Stef threw Jackie a look of amused perplexity.
After the story was retold, Stef said, “Since everything’s okay, I’ll get back to the old boat.”
“Will you wait for me?” Jackie asked. “I’ll be out in just a minute.”
Stef shrugged, looking self-conscious. “Sure.” She stepped out of the room.
Jackie took hold of her father’s hand. “Unless you need something, I’ll be going too.”
“Run along. Becca’s driving us home.” He squeezed and released her hand. “You and the pretty houseboat lady have gotten to know one another, have you?”
Jackie felt herself redden as his expression conveyed that he understood more than he would ever say. “I love you, Dad.” She kissed him on the cheek and left the room.
Stef was in the hallway, leaning against a wall, tapping a rhythm on the shiny tiled floor with one boot heel. She stood up as Jackie appeared and gave her a familiar, affectionate smile. Jackie was so touched at Stef’s presence she almost felt like crying. Even though the incident was over, she realized she was still suffering the emotional impact of believing she might lose her father.
“It was really thoughtful of you to come,” Jackie said.
“Nobody seemed to know what had happened or how serious it was. I was worried about you.”
Jackie looked steadily into Stef’s eyes, realizing she was perfectly sincere. “Thank you.” She took a deep, cleansing breath. “It was scary there for a while. I kept thinking, what if he died. What would we do? What would happen to my mother? I can’t imagine one of them without the other.”
Stef took Jackie’s hand. “You don’t have to. Everything’s fine.” She smiled reassuringly.
“You think I’m naïve,” Jackie said.
Stef shook her head. “No.”
“I mean, I know people die. It’ll happen someday. I hope it isn’t a total surprise, though. You hope you have a chance to prepare.”
“You can’t prepare,” Stef said. “It’s always a shock, no matter how or when it happens. But there are degrees of shock, I guess.”
Jackie observed Stef silently. It seemed she’d seen a lot more of life…and death than Jackie had. “Your father died a few years ago, right?”
Stef nodded. “I barely knew him. It didn’t impact me.”
“As a police officer, you must have seen a lot of people die.”
“It doesn’t happen as often to each individual cop as you’d think, like on TV. It’s rare, actually. And definitely not something you get used to. It’s hard to see someone die, whether it’s a stranger or…someone you love.” Stef’s solemn expression changed abruptly to a smile. “But neither of us has to see someone die today, do we?”
Jackie shook her head.
Just then, Rosa rounded the corner carrying a travel mug of coffee, wearing a lightweight running suit and sneakers.
“Oh, you’re here too!” she remarked, then scrutinized Stef.
Jackie introduced them.
“How is he?” Rosa asked, nodding toward Rudy’s room. She took a long pull on her mug.
“He’s fine now. I’ve just seen him.”
“Good, that’s good.” She nodded. “Earlier he wasn’t looking so good. This is just what I was worried about, you know? Ida’s World-Famous Jerky! What she’s gonna be famous for is killing people off.” Rosa was getting herself worked up, gesturing wildly with her free hand. “And she wants me to be a part of this? Can you imagine? I’d lose my business and we’d be ruined.”
“This was kind of a freakish thing,” Jackie pointed out.
“I hope she’s learned her lesson, that’s all.”
“You mean you think this will make her drop the jerky?”
Rosa nodded emphatically. “After almost killing her husband, I hope so.”
“I don’t think so. She’s just giving up the papaya thing, but I think she’s fully committed to this business.”
“Dios mio! Que está, loca?” Rosa rolled her eyes in disbelief.
“Rosa won’t let my mother sell her jerky off her truck,” Jackie explained to Stef.
“No!” Rosa agreed. “And after what happened here today, can you blame me?”
“It’s not really the danger of poisoning somebody, is it,” Jackie suggested, “that stops you from selling her jerky?”
Rosa frowned. “No,” she admitted. “Like I told her, everything on my truck is authentic Brazilian food. What would happen if I started selling beef jerky and then, next thing you know, hot dogs and biscuits and gravy or whatever you or Becca or Rudy decided you wanted me to sell? My mama would be turning over in her grave.”
“Your mother isn’t dead.”
Rosa shrugged. “But she would be if I turned my truck into a free-for-all. Do you understand?”
“Yes, I do,” Jackie said. “But Mom doesn’t. I don’t think this problem is going away.”
“I’m not doing this just to be mean,” Rosa continued. “I love your mother, but if she asks me one more time to put that damned jerky on my truck, Ben and I are moving to San Diego.”
“So they don’t have jerky in Brazil?” asked Stef. “I mean, dried meat is sort of universal.”
“No! Not like this with the teriyaki and killer papaya zinger, whatever she calls it.” Rosa was about to continue when Ben appeared, approaching rapidly.
“There you are,” he said. “We need to get back if we’re going to catch the after-work crowd.”
They said their goodbyes, then Jackie and Stef walked through the waiting room to the big double doors leading outside. Just inside the doors, Jackie’s mother stood talking on her phone. She didn’t look up as they passed. Jackie decided there was no reason to bother her. From the sound of her voice, she seemed fully recovered from her fright and no longer in need of comfort.
“You should have seen him,” Ida bubbled. “He looked like one of those Chinese dragons in the New Year’s parade, all red and puffed up.”
Stef and Jackie emerged into the afternoon sunshine. “I need to call the office and tell Niko everything’s okay,” said Jackie, “but he’s already canceled all my appointments for today, so it looks like I have the rest of the day off.”
After all the starts and stops between them, she didn’t know whether Stef would want to spend time with her or not, but she decided to take a chance, encouraged by the fact that Stef had dropped everything to run over here. “Do you have to get back right away?”
