“In his defense, you really do smell yummy. Kind of like Tang.”
“Not funny,” Penelope responded.
“Sorry.” Helena braced Penelope with an arm around her waist and guided her to a bedroom in the other wing of the house.
Helena deposited Penelope on the large bed and turned toward the bathroom. “I’ll get you a warm washcloth.”
Ironically, Penelope’s mind dove straight for a safe haven—that meant away from Kinich and toward her job, which generally provided many meaty distractions, such as impending doom and/or anything having to do with Cimil—the ex-Goddess of the Underworld.
“Wait.” Penelope looked up at Helena, who’d become her steady rock of reason these last few weeks. “What happens next?”
Helena paused for a moment. “Like I told you, Kinich just needs time to adjust.”
Penelope shook her head. “No. I mean, you heard Emma’s grandmother; without Niccolo and Guy, we can’t defeat the Maaskab. We have to free them.”
“Well—”
“I know what you’re going to say,” Pen interrupted. “We can’t release Chaam, but—”
“Actually,” Helena broke in, “I’ve been meaning to tell you something.”
“What?”
“We’ve been looking for another way to free them, and I think we found it.”
“Found what?” Penelope asked.
“A tablet.”
Glossary
Black Jade—Found only in a particular mine located in southern Mexico, this jade has very special supernatural properties, including the ability to absorb supernatural energy—in particular, god energy. When worn by humans, it is possible for them to have physical contact with a god. If injected, it can make a person addicted to doing bad things. If the jade is fueled with dark energy and then released, it can be used as a weapon. Chaam, personally, likes using it to polish his teeth.
The Book of the Oracle of Delphi—This mystical text from 1400 BC is said to have been created by one of the great oracles at Delphi and can tell the future. As the events in present time change the future, the book’s pages magically rewrite themselves. The demigods use this book in Book 2 to figure out when and how to kill the Vampire Queen. Helena also reads it while their captive, and learns she must sacrifice her mortality to save Niccolo.
Cenote—Limestone sinkholes connected to a subterranean water system. They are found in Central America and southern Mexico and were once believed by the Maya to be sacred portals to the afterlife. Such smart humans! They were right. Except, cenotes are actually portals to the realm of the gods.
(If you have never seen a cenote, do a quick search on the Internet for “cenote photos,” and you’ll see how freaking cool they are!)
Demilords—(Spoiler alert for Book 2!) This is a group of immortal badass vampires who’ve been infused with the light of the gods. They are extremely difficult to kill and hate their jobs (killing Obscuros) almost as much as they hate the gods who control them.
Maaskab—Originally a cult of bloodthirsty Mayan priests who believed in the dark arts. It is rumored they are responsible for bringing down their entire civilization with their obsession for human sacrifices (mainly young female virgins). Once Chaam started making half-human children, he decided all firstborn males would make excellent Maaskab due to their proclivity for evil.
Mocos, Mobscuros, O’scabbies—Nicknames for when you join Maaskab with Obscuros to create a brand new malevolent treat.
Obscuros—Evil vampires who do not live by the Pact, and who like to dine on innocent humans since they really do taste the best.
The Pact—An agreement between the gods and good vampires that dictates the dos and don’ts. There are many parts to it, but the most important rules are: Vampires are not allowed to snack on good people (called Forbiddens), they must keep their existence a secret, and they are responsible for keeping any rogue vampires in check.
Payal—Although the gods can take humans to their realm and make them immortal, Payals are the true genetic offspring of the gods but are born mortal, just like their human mothers. Only firstborn children inherit the gods’ genes and manifest their traits. If the firstborn happens to be female, she is a Payal. If male, well… then you get something kind of yucky (see definition of Maaskab)!
Uchben—An ancient society of scholars and warriors who serve as the gods’ eyes and ears in the human world. They also do the books and manage the gods’ earthly assets.
Characters
The Gods
Although every culture around the world has their own names and beliefs related to beings of worship, there are actually only fourteen gods. And since the gods are able to access the human world only through the portals called cenotes, located in the Yucatan, the Maya were big fans.
The gods often refer to each other as brother and sister, but the truth is they are just another species of the Creator.
1. Acan—God of Wine and Intoxication. Also known as Belch, Acan has been drunk for a few thousand years. He hopes to someday trade places with Votan because he’s tired of his flabby muscles and beer belly.
2. Ah-Ciliz—God of Solar Eclipses. Called A.C. by his brethren, Ah-Ciliz is generally thought of as the party-pooper because of his dark attitude.
3. Akna—Goddess of Fertility. You either love her or you hate her.
4. Backlum Chaam—God of Male Virility. He’s responsible for discovering black jade, figuring out how to procreate with humans, and kicking off the chain of events that will eventually lead to the Great War. Get your Funyuns and beer! This is gonna be good.
5. Camaxtli—Goddess of the Hunt. Also known as Fate, Camaxtli holds a special position among the gods, since no one dares challenge her. When Fate has spoken, that’s the end of the conversation.
6. Colel Cab—Mistress of Bees. Because, really, where would we all be without the bees?
7. Goddess of Forgetfulness.— Um… I forget her name. Sorry.
8. Ixtab—Goddess of Suicide. Ixtab is generally described as a loner. Could it be those dead critters she carries around? But don’t judge her so hastily. You never know what truly lies behind that veil of black she wears.
9. K’ak— The history books remember him as K’ak Tiliw Chan Yopaat, ruler of Copán in the 700s AD. King K’ak (Don’t you just love that name? Tee hee hee…) is one of Cimil’s favorite brothers. We’re not really sure what he does, but he can throw bolts of lightning.
10. Kinich Ahau—God of the Sun. Also known by many other names, depending on the culture, Kinich likes to go by “Nick” these days. But don’t let the modern name fool you. He’s not so hot about the gods mingling with humans. Although… he’s getting a little curious about what the fuss is all about. Can sleeping with a woman really be all that?
11. Votan—God of Death and War. Also known as Odin, Wotan, Wodan, God of Drums (he has no idea how the hell he got that title; he hates the drums), and God of Multiplication (okay, he is pretty darn good at math, so that one makes sense). These days, Votan goes by Guy Santiago (it’s a long story—read Book 1), but despite his deadly tendencies, he’s all heart. He’s now engaged to Emma Keane.
12. Yum Cimil—Goddess of the Underworld, also known as Ah-Puch by the Maya, Mictlantecuhtli (try saying that one ten times) by the Aztecs, Grim Reaper by the Europeans, Hades by the Greeks… you get the picture! Despite what people say, Cimil is actually a female, adores a good bargain (especially garage sales), and the color pink. She’s also bat-shit crazy.
13. Zac Cimi—Bacab of the North. What the heck is a Bacab? According to the gods’ folklore, the Bacabs are the four eldest and most powerful of the gods. Zac, however, has yet to discover his true gifts, although he is physically the strongest. We think he may be the god of love.
14. ??? (I’m not telling.)
Not the Gods
Andrus— Ex-demilord (vampire who’s been given the gods’ light), now just a demigod after his maker, the Vampire Queen, died. According to Cimil, his son, who hasn’
t been born yet, is destined to marry Helena and Niccolo’s daughter.
Anne— Not telling.
Brutus— One of Gabrán’s elite Uchben Warriors. He doesn’t speak much, but that’s because he and his team are telepathic. They are also immortal (a gift from the gods) and next in line to be Uchben chiefs.
Emma Keane— A reluctant Payal who can split a man right down the middle with her bare hands. She is engaged to Votan (aka Guy Santiago) and really wants to kick the snot out of Tommaso, the man who betrayed her.
Father Xavier— Once a priest at the Vatican, Xavier is now the Uchben’s top scholar and historian. He has a thing for jogging suits, Tyra Banks, and Cimil.
Gabrán— One of the Uchben chiefs and a very close friend of the gods. The chiefs have been given the gods’ light and are immortal—a perk of the job.
Gabriela— Emma Keane’s grandmother and one of the original Payals. She now leads the Maaskab at the young age of eightysomething.
Helena Strauss— Once human, Helena is now a vampire and married to Niccolo DiConti. She has a half-vampire daughter, Matty, who is destined to marry Andrus’s son, according to Cimil.
Jess— Not telling.
Julie Trudeau— Penelope’s mother.
Niccolo Di Conti— Ex-general of the Vampire Queen’s army. He is the interim vampire leader now that the queen is dead, because the army remained loyal to him. He is married to Helena Strauss and has a half-vampire daughter Matty—a wedding gift from Cimil.
Nick— (From Book 1, not to be confused with Kinich). Also not telling.
Penelope Trudeau— The woman Cimil approaches to be her brother’s surrogate.
Philippe— Roberto’s brother. An Ancient One.
Reyna— The dead vampire queen.
Roberto (Narmer)— Originally an Egyptian pharaoh, Narmer was one of the six Ancient Ones—the very first vampires. He eventually changed his name to Roberto and moved to Spain—something to do with one of Cimil’s little schemes. Rumor is, he wasn’t too happy about it.
Sentin— One of Niccolo’s loyal vampire soldiers. Viktor turned him into a vampire after finding him in a ditch during WWII.
Tommaso— Oh boy. Where to start. Once an Uchben, Tommaso’s mind was poisoned with black jade. He tried to kill Emma. She’s not happy about that.
Viktor— Niccolo’s right hand and BFF. He’s approximately one thousand years old and originally a Viking. He’s big. He’s blond. He’s got the hots for some blond woman he’s dreamed of for the last five hundred years. He’s also Helena’s maker.
Also by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff
The Accidentally Yours Series
Accidentally in Love with… a God? Book 1
Accidentally Married to… a Vampire? Book 2
Sun God Seeks… Surrogate? Book 3
Don’t miss this month’s Forever new releases!
The wife of a cop has been brutally murdered and the scene bears a striking resemblance to those left on the walls of Jess’s motel room. A former profiler for the FBI, Jess discovers an unexpected witness in an autistic child and both become targets of a killer. But who will come to her aide this time? Her first love, Chief of Police Dan Burnett? Or her ex-husband, Supervisory Special Agent Wesley Duvall?
Caught between fight and flight, Zoe Tamarin has always picked flight. Since she was rescued from a nightmare childhood by her great-aunt Pasha, they’ve been on the move, never staying in one place long enough to risk exposing their precarious past. But now that they’ve reached the sun-baked shores of Barefoot Bay, Zoe may have to stay and fight-for her aunt’s life… and for a love she ran from years before.
Rainbow Valley, Texas, has always been a refuge for animals, and Shannon North, director of the local shelter, intends to keep it that way. But with donations drying up and more pets in need of a loving home than ever before, Shannon’s beginning to fear she’s not the savior the shelter needs. When a tall, dark, and handsome cowboy from her past comes to the rescue, she knows that accepting his help may come with a high price: her heart.
A brilliant pianist and notorious rake, Sebastian Hall indulges his passion for music and women with equal aplomb. But now that his elder brother has married, his father insists he pursue a more respectable path and find a suitable wife. Clara Whitmore cannot deny the powerful desire she feels when she unexpectedly meets Sebastian again. Perhaps the man who once dominated her dreams could be the husband she has hoped for-- and save her from the fate she most fears…
Don’t miss the other titles in Mimi Jean Pamfiloff’s New York Times bestselling Accidentally Yours Series.
Twenty-two-year-old Emma Keane has a secret friend. He’s powerful, mysterious, and devastatingly handsome. In her dreams, anyway. In real life, he’s an enigma. Maybe just a teensie jealous. Definitely overbearing. He’s also a voice only she can hear. So who or what is he? He won’t say. But if she wants to be free, to be normal, Emma will have to trek to the jungles once ruled by the Mayans and find the forgotten ruin holding the answers. And what she finds is something her mind or heart isn’t entirely prepared for…
Niccolo DiConti has faithfully served as leader of Her Majesty’s army for over a millennium. When a powerful goddess prophesies he will meet his salvation-a human woman he must turn into a vampire with her consent-he eagerly rises to the challenge. After centuries of sleep, he wakes up in the goddess’ tomb, and not only is his life a mess, but his destined female isn’t about to settle for a coldhearted vampire. Can he win her over before it’s too late?
When 24-year-old Penelope learns of a new miracle drug that could cure her ailing mother, it’s the answer to her prayers… until she sees the cost. For every door that closes, a window opens. In this case, the window calls herself Cimil, and she’s quite possibly the most insane person Penelope’s ever met. Could it be because this complete stranger just offered Penelope one million dollars to carry her wealthy brother’s baby? But Penelope will soon find out Cimil’s brother isn’t your everyday millionaire. In fact, he gives new meaning to the word hot.
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Contents
Cover
Welcome Page
Dedication
Acknowledgments
Warning
Cimil’s Letter
Epigraph
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Epilogue
About the Author
A Note from the Author
An Excerpt from Accidentally in Love with…a God?
An Excerpt from Accidentally Married to…a Vampire?
An Excerpt from Sun God Seeks…Surrogate?
An Excerpt from Vampires Need Not…Apply?
Glossary
Characters
Also by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff
You Might Also Like…
Newsletters
Copyright
Copyright
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Copyright © 2013 by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff
Excerpt from Accidentally in Love with…a God? © 2013 by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff
Excerpt from Accidentally Married to…a Vampire? © 2013 by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff
Excerpt from Sun God Seeks…Surrogate? © 2014 by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff
Excerpt from Vampires Need Not…Apply? © 2013 by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff
Cover copyright © 2013 by Hachette Book Group, Inc.
All rights reserved. In accordance with t
he U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher constitute unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), prior written permission must be obtained by contacting the publisher at [email protected]. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.
Forever Yours
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First ebook edition: April 2013
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ISBN 978-1-4555-4702-9
Accidentally...Evil? (Accidentally Yours) Page 11
