EDGE OF REASON

by Barker, Freya

  “Can we go up there?” Jaimie yells in my ear, steering me up yet another winding mountain road.

  I grin. She’s taken to the bike like it’s second nature. Can’t seem to get enough of it. At this rate we won’t be back until late. Not that I care, I’d fucking drive her to Denver if she asked.

  I follow the road to the top of the ridge and pull off at a lookout point. The moment I stop, she climbs off the bike, takes off her helmet, and walks up to the edge, throwing her arms out wide. Her blonde hair is getting longer, almost halfway down her back, shining like gold in the afternoon sun.

  “I love this!” she yells, swinging around with a huge grin on her face. “It’s so beautiful.”

  “You’re beautiful.”

  She stops mid-swirl and looks at me, her arms slowly lowering to her side. “Trunk…”

  “Come ‘ere, baby.”

  Her gorgeous blue eyes turn silk as she slowly makes her way back. The moment she’s within reach I tug her close.

  “Do you have any fucking clue how much I love you?”

  “Not as much as I love you,” she says softly, running a hand along my jaw as she leans in for a kiss.

  “Impossible,” I mumble against her mouth, tasting the wind on her lips. “You own me, Little Mama.”

  “Titus…”

  My hand tightens in her tousled hair as I kiss her like she’s my next breath. “I want you to stop taking the pill.”

  “Uhm…what?” She pulls back but I hold her firmly.

  “Baby, love you, love your boy, but the two of you’ve ruined me. Never even considered kids and now it’s all I can think about; having a baby with you.”

  “Wow. I…uh…” she stammers, looking a little shell-shocked at first, but then her eyes narrow. “Having a baby with me, huh? Sounds good when you put it like that, but it’ll be me trying to push another watermelon from my hooha. Have you seen the size of your head?”

  “I’ll be there every step of the way,” I promise, trying to look serious, because I don’t think she’d appreciate me laughing.

  “You’re serious,” she mutters.

  “Perfectly. I’m forty-five. You’re going on forty.”

  “Forty? I’ll be thirty-nine in July, thank you very much,” she snips.

  “I stand corrected,” I concede. “Doesn’t change the fact I want a baby with you before we get too old. Before River gets too old.”

  “We haven’t been together that long,” she protests.

  “Long enough to know my feelings for you aren’t gonna change,” I tell her stubbornly. “Are yours?”

  “No. That’s not what I’m saying. I mean…we’ve barely figured out our living arrangements, okay?”

  This time I let her slip from my hold and watch as she puts the helmet on, fastening it with jerky movements. “Then let’s take care of that…but then we’re making a baby.”

  “You’re insufferable, you know that?”

  Yeah, I know, but I’m not going to tell her that.

  I grin all the way back to Durango.

  _______________

  “Surprise!”

  The first face I see when I walk in is my sister’s. From the smirk on her face, I know she’s probably behind this and damn proud to have pulled one over on me. But before I can give her hell, she’s in my arms.

  “Happy birthday. Love you, Titus.”

  “Ditto, Sis,” comes out instead.

  My head is soon spinning with the congratulations coming fast and furious. Evan, Hanna and Joan, Sandra with River, who manages to jump from her arms to mine. Ollie is there with Joe, Dylan Barnes and a cute brunette with a gaggle of boys, and even Tony fucking Ramirez is grinning big as he claps me on the shoulder. Keith Blackfoot with his family, Kaga, his wife, and the twins.

  I meander through the people until I get to the couch, where Momma—just released from the hospital last week—is holding court. I kiss her cheek.

  “Good to have you back, Momma.”

  “Good to be back. See you haven’t let any grass grow over it. She’s a good girl, don’t mess it up.”

  “Not planning to,” I assure her.

  I turn when someone taps me on the arm to find Ezrah, his grin big, standing behind me.

  “Happy birthday.”

  “Thanks, buddy. Good to see you. I missed you.” He almost knocks me over with the force of his hug.

  River, who loves all the attention, immediately twists in my arm, trying to get at Ezrah’s dreads.

  “Can he come wit me?” the boy asks, holding his arms up for River.

  “Where you takin’ him?”

  He points at the club’s four remaining charges lounging on new beanbags in front of a large TV, playing some kind of movie.

  “Don’t let him eat or drink anything unless you clear it with Sandra or Jaimie, okay?”

  “‘Kay.”

  I grin when I see the effort it takes him to carry the little man over to the group of boys.

  “Ready for a drink now?” Paco claps a hand on my shoulder and leads me to the brand-new bar, where Ouray and Luna, along with the rest of the brothers seem to be congregated.

  A beer gets shoved in my hand and I take a swig, before turning to Tse. “How are you feeling?”

  “Like someone went over me with a meat tenderizer and I fucking look like ground chuck, but I’m feeling a lot better now I have access to beer.”

  “Amen,” Honon cheers, raising his bottle.

  “Yuma?” I ask Ouray quietly, noting his absence.

  “Couldn’t get him to come out. Guy’s messed up, brother. Won’t see anyone, not even Momma can get through.”

  “Give him time. I’ll check in with him next week.”

  Ouray nods.

  I turn my back to the bar and scan the new clubhouse. Still pretty basic, with some of the old furniture making a reappearance, but some new stuff too. I watch Jaimie come out of the kitchen across the room, carrying a tray of some kind of finger food. She sees me watching her and smiles, giving me that warm feeling in my chest.

  “Feels good, don’t it?” Ouray mumbles, having witnessed the exchange. “One minute you’re doin’ fine on your own—no complaints—and the next you can’t figure out how the fuck you ever did without ‘er.”

  “Feels great,” I tell him, never taking my eyes off my woman.

  From the corner of my eye, I see Barnes approaching.

  “I just got a call from Gomez,” he says, addressing me as much as he is his partner, Luna. “Sutherland was found dead. Shanked in the showers. Not even twelve hours since being put back in general population.”

  “Who?” Luna asks immediately.

  “No one’s seen anything, but if you ask me, the ANL is making sure not to leave any loose ends. Through his right eye, straight into his brain.”

  Ouray whistles between his teeth as I catch Jaimie’s attention, motioning her over.

  “I wasn’t sure whether you wanted me to tell her, or—”

  “She can do without the descriptives,” I growl.

  I’m not sure how she’ll react, but there isn’t a better place for any kind of news—good or bad—than among friends.

  “Hey.”

  I hook her around the waist and pull her close. “Sutherland’s dead, Little Mama.”

  “Rob?” She looks confused.

  “Someone got to him in the showers.”

  She closes her eyes and puts her hands on my chest. I give her a minute.

  “James?”

  She shakes her head. “I’m trying to figure out how I feel about that. He’s River’s dad.”

  “Sperm donor,” I correct her and her eyes snap open, blue and fierce.

  “Don’t remind me.”

  “So how do you feel?” Luna asks.

  Jaimie scrunches up her face and then shakes her head again. “Not a whole lot. Not enough to let him mess up this party.”

  “I’ll drink to that,” Honon volunteers.

  “That’s wh
at you’ve been doin’ all afternoon,” Ouray grumbles.

  Just like that the motherfucker, who’d never see his beautiful kid grow up, is gone from our minds.

  _______________

  It’s late.

  Sandra drove us home in Jaimie’s Honda, because we both had a few too many. She offered to carry River to bed, but tonight I want to put the boy to bed.

  Jaimie kisses him goodnight and shuffles into our bedroom, while I take him into his room.

  “Good day, buddy?” I mutter mindlessly, as I peel off his clothes and quickly grab a clean diaper and his pj’s. He can barely keep his eyes open. “I know, I had fun too.”

  “Rah.”

  “Ezrah, I know. He looks good, right? Happy.” I strip back the tabs of his diaper. “Shee-it, kid. Why you gotta save those butt bombs for me?”

  “Butt!”

  “That’s right,” I mutter, trying not to breathe through my nose as I clean him up. “Dirty butt bomb.”

  “Butt!”

  “Exactly.” I make quick work of getting him into a fresh diaper and his jammies, before lifting him off the table. “There, now you smell good.”

  River grins at me and slaps his hands on my cheeks, leaning close.

  “Shee-it, Unk?”

  I barely have a chance to chuckle when I hear Jaimie from the other room.

  “Titus Maximus Rae!”

  THE END

  Keep reading for the first chapter of my next On Call novel!

  Absolving Blue

  Coming March 12, 2020

  To get notified when ABSOLVING BLUE releases, follow me on: AMAZON or sign up for my NEWSLETTER

  CHAPTER 1

  Blue

  “TWO OR THREE eggs?”

  Sumo is manning the stove in the fire station’s large kitchen when I walk in from the women’s locker room.

  “Two.”

  “Eggs Benny?”

  “Please.”

  I haphazardly tie my towel-dried shoulder-length hair back with an elastic before sitting down at the large dining table taking up half our common room. Cheddar and Cap are already digging into their breakfast.

  We got back to the firehouse a little while ago after an early morning garage fire on the north side of town. It was relatively easily put out, but the terrified family would have to find other place to stay. Two of the kids and the dad had suffered some smoke inhalation and we transported them to Mercy to get checked out. They were lucky. If Dad hadn’t suffered insomnia and had been awake, they might not have been so lucky. None of the three smoke alarms had gone off in the house. Turns out the batteries had been removed and never replaced. One of those things too easily put off, until it’s too late.

  “Here you go.” Sumo slides a plate in front of me.

  As expected, the eggs are perfectly poached and covered with Hollandaise and slivers of smoked salmon. This is the reason Sumo and Evan do most of the cooking at the firehouse. They make everything taste great. The rest of us can manage scrambled or over hard without messing it up too badly, but those two guys know what they’re doing in the kitchen.

  I’ll stick to cleaning. I’m good at that. Each crew is responsible for keeping the firehouse clean during their shift. It’s our second home, we spend at least as much time here as at our own place.

  “Any rumblings yet?” Cap asks Cheddar, whose wife Tahlula is about to pop with their second.

  “We’ve had a few false alarms, but she’s got a few weeks to go yet.”

  “Hanna was early, though,” Sumo points out, taking a seat beside me, his own breakfast piled high on his plate.

  “Yeah, but Tahlula’s been taking it easy the past month or so. Ma’s been around, helping with Hanna.”

  Conversation goes on around me as I quietly enjoy my eggs Benny. At some point Hog and Roadkill join us, and as always the atmosphere inside the firehouse reminds me why I love this job so much. It’s family. The guys are my brothers and although they can be pains in my ass, I never doubt when it comes down to it, each and every one of them would have my back. As I have theirs.

  There’s teasing—a lot of it—and even the occasional fight, but loyalty and genuine caring always wins.

  My crew has taught me everything there is to know about how families should work.

  “I’ll clean,” I announce, getting up to collect the dishes.

  “I’ll give you a hand.”

  Just as Hog shoves his chair back, the alarm goes off.

  _______________

  Police is already on scene when we get there.

  A man is pinned in the wreckage of his ancient Lincoln Town Car wrapped around the tree on the wrong side of Roosa Avenue. At first glance it looks like the single vehicle accident it was reported to be, but as it turns out someone did a number on him. Most of the damage is to the front end which wrapped around the trunk of a tree on the river’s edge. On closer inspection, though, it’s evident there was impact at the rear driver’s side.

  Three patrol cars are blocking off the entire intersection of Roosa and West 9th, and officers are diverting traffic away from the scene.

  “Can you get in the back seat, Blue?” Cap asks when we approach the vehicle. It’s clear we’ll need the Jaws of Life to extract what looks to be an older man from the car, the entire front end is crumpled up like a ball of tinfoil.

  I’m not big—five two on a good hair day—which comes in handy in cases like these where we have limited room to work. Cap wrenches the rear door open and I slip inside, climbing in between the seats to get to my patient. I feel for a pulse immediately. It’s there, surprisingly strong.

  “Sir? Can you talk to me, sir?”

  A deep moan is my response, but I’ll take it.

  “Hang in there, we’ll get you out as soon as we can. Anything hurt?”

  I grab the collar from Sumo when he sticks the top half of his body into the car. I notice blood is flowing from a sizable laceration on his forehead when I swiftly stabilize the man’s neck.

  “Legs are pinned,” I tell Sumo. “I can’t see any other bleeding than from the head. Hand me the Lifepak?”

  There isn’t a whole lot I can do other than stabilize him as best I can and monitor his vitals, which is what we have the Lifepak for.

  “Sir? Can you talk?” I try again.

  “A…Arthur William…Brownslee. December twenty…one, nine…nineteen forty-one.”

  “Nice to meet you, Arthur.”

  I do the math in my head as I hook him up best as I can to the Lifepak. The poor guy is seventy-eight years old. Before I can ask him anything he’s already talking.

  “D…diabetes, high b…blood pressure, COPD. Can’t…can’t feel my legs. Hands tingling.”

  I throw a quick glance at Sumo who heard and is already pulling out of the vehicle, going for the backboard. His symptoms imply a spinal injury and I’m grateful I was able to get the brace on him right away.

  “Are you a doctor, Arthur? You sound like you know what you’re talking about.” I do my best to distract him from the loud noise the Jaws of Life Hog is wielding outside.

  “Army m…medic, Vietnam.”

  “Thank you for your service, Arthur. Bear with us, we’ll have you on your way to the hospital soon. Is there anyone we can call?”

  “My s…son. Phone is in my pants pocket.”

  “I’ll grab it once we have you out of here,” I assure him. Sumo returns and hands me a sheet. “I’m going to cover you up for a minute, Arthur, okay? Just so you don’t get any more glass on you.”

  I get a nod from Hog and quickly toss the sheet over both the man and myself. I grab hold of his hand as we wait for my crew to free him from the wreckage.

  “Are you still with me?” I ask when we roll Arthur to the rig. His eyes are closed and it looks like shock is setting in. His legs below the knees, where they were trapped, are a mess and I’m worried about his blood loss.

  “Yes.” His lips barely move, but his response is clear. Looks like Arthur
is not yet ready to give up yet.

  Sumo and I are working to get him stabilized for transportation when Detective Tony Ramirez sticks his head in the doors.

  “Is he talking?”

  “Patient’s name is Arthur William Brownslee, seventy-eight years old. We didn’t get much further than that.” I hand him the phone I fished out of the man’s pocket. “That’s his phone. His son needs to be notified.”

  If I’m abrupt, it’s because the detective makes me uncomfortable. He’s been with the Durango PD for years and as such we often show up to the same scenes, but every time he turns those chocolate eyes on me it makes me want to duck and hide. Maybe it has something to do with the fact he was a cop in Denver before he came here, although I don’t seem to have the same reaction to the new chief of police who also hails from there.

  I grew up in Denver, but was in a hurry to leave the moment I turned eighteen. I went to Telluride first. Got a job on the ski hill and a second one in a hotel in town, before I managed to save up enough money to go to college in Grand Junction. After graduating I landed in Durango and haven’t looked back since.

  I love it here. Love the mountains, love the town, which has enough of a tight community feel left despite the large numbers of tourists visiting year-round. I’ve found my niche—my purpose—with the Durango Fire Department, and have an awesome group of friends. My chosen family.

  “I’ll catch up with you at the hospital,” Ramirez says, interrupting my thoughts. I make the mistake of looking up to find his eyes on me and I quickly glance back at my patient.

  He knocks twice on the doors before he disappears from sight.

  “One of these days I wanna know why Detective Valentino scares the crap out of you when nothing else does.”

  “Shut the fuck up, Sumo. Why don’t you start driving?”

  Even with his eyes closed, our patient rattles out a chuckle.

  “You tell him, missy.”

  Tony

  I should’ve let the department’s newest detective, Lissie Bucco, take the call, but I was being a gentleman.

  Okay, that’s a lie. I was hoping to get in her good graces because so far—since she was introduced yesterday—she’s only given me the cold shoulder. Fuck if I can figure out why.