by Belle Aurora
When his expression turned solemn, I wished I had kept my mouth shut. But then he swallowed and spoke, his eyes never leaving mine. “Welcome.”
I looked down at the table in relief and ate the rest of my burger with a smile on my face.
“Goddamn it, Ling!”
Julius is pissed.
He’s yelling, and he’s yelling quite loudly.
A soft thumping sound follows, because he is also pacing. And with those three words, our good morning turns to shit.
As soon as we returned to find Ling standing by the kitchen bench, making herself a latte on the fancy coffeemaker Julius owns, he paused in his tracks, causing me to walk right into his back. He checked his wristwatch, then asked her, “You’re back early. What happened?”
She tilted her head prettily and forced a smile. “It’s a funny story, actually.” But there was no humor in her voice, indicating that she was a goddamn liar and there was nothing funny about what had happened.
So Ling began to explain what went down, and Julius grew more and more tense, and I started to back away from the kitchen. Eventually, Ling got to the punch line of her story, and Julius shook the heavens with his rage. He paced some more, muttering under his breath, and every now and then, he would point and bellow at her.
My body anxiously taut, I finally managed to slink out of the kitchen and rushed into Julius’s room, sitting on the bed with my knees to my chest, waiting for the storm to pass.
But Ling continued to speak her mind, unaware—or very aware—of the fuel she was throwing onto the fire. The argument reached its climax when Ling lost her cool and thundered, “Fuck your self-righteous assholery, boss man.” Things rustled and car keys jingled. “I’m leaving. I’m so fucking out of here. I’m going to find someone to fuck, and you know what?” Her heels clicked farther and farther away. “I’m going to call him Daddy!” Just before the front door slammed, she shrieked, “And he’s going to love it!”
The car started, revved hard, and then sped away, spraying gravel onto the house, causing a pinging and clinking sound to air in the thick silence.
In the tense quiet of the aftermath of the small war, Julius sighs loudly, and then… nothing.
I wait a long time for him to come find me, but he doesn’t.
After a few minutes of ear-splitting silence, I decide to venture out from the safety of the quiet room and look for him. I don’t need to go far. I peek around the corner and find him sitting at the dining table, his sleeves pushed up to the elbows, his head lowered with his fingers massaging his temples.
My manifestation must be large enough to alert him to my presence, because he looks up, straightening, looking the picture of dignity. So I say the only thing I can think of saying. “Sorry.”
His shoulders relax a little, and he shakes his head. “It’s not even a thing.”
“It looks like a thing.” Feeling bolder at his calm demeanor, I step into the room and slowly make my way to the chair closest to his. “It definitely sounded like a thing.”
His eyes trained on the empty chair opposite him, he utters, “All things with Ling are a thing. But that’s just her. She’s all hellfire and lightning. Never a dull moment. You either love her or hate her, no in-between.”
My heart sinks.
I’m pretty sure I’m at the latter end of the scale with her, but Julius… he clearly loves her. And it makes my stomach turn.
“I’m sure she’ll come around,” I say for the sake of the conversation, not really wishing she would.
He doesn’t even spare a glance at me, and it makes me feel worthless. “She will. Always does.”
The silence that follows starts off comfortable, but soon, the tension builds until I can’t hold my tongue anymore. “Ling…” I start. “Is she really going out to find someone to—” My mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water, but I can’t seem to end my query.
“Yeah,” he growls, his lip curling in loathing.
And my heart stutters. Painfully.
Had I misread the relationship between the two of them?
Of course Julius will never look at me in a sexual manner. He is too professional. Not only that, but he hates me for the trouble I’ve caused him. I would give anything to make it better between us. I crave the serene yet static presence Julius radiates. A mix of peace and anger and chaos and beauty all rolled into one.
With my days dwindling, my desperate mind has gone through all the scenarios. And they all come back to one possible solution. I can make it happen, I’m sure of it. It will take time, and that’s one thing I don’t have, but I’ll be smart about it.
I can do it. I know I can.
At least, I hope I can.
I’ll make Julius fall in love with me.
I wait patiently, taking this time to meditate.
The fight with Ling left Julius rattled enough to shower without locking me into a room, and although the thought excited me, a question was then posed.
Where would I go?
Currently, I was a walking target. Not to mention I had no money, no clothes, not a friend in the world.
My chances out there, on my own, were far worse than they were in here, with Julius.
I tiptoed into his bedroom and undressed with ease, walking into his closet and taking my time at picking something more comfortable to slip into. When I looked down at myself, I closed my eyes and swallowed hard, telling myself that this was all I had left in my artillery.
Ling was gone. Who knew when she’d return? I was hoping it was later rather than sooner, because she was a bitch, and she was a bitch who made her stance on me quite clear.
She fucking hated me.
Now, as I stand at the kitchen sink, looking out into the sterile but neat yard, I vow to do what I can to give myself the upper hand.
The soft padding of his feet stepping closer has my heart racing.
I can do this.
I feel his gaze on me before he even speaks. “What are you doing, Ana?” His question weighs just about more than I can carry.
My heel throbs as I turn slowly and he looks down at my ensemble, his eyes raking over every visible part of me, where they hood sensually.
“Oh, baby.” He takes a predatory step closer, lifts his eyes to mine and lets out a soft growl. “That was a very bad idea.”
The way he looks at me alone is enough for my body to shudder delightfully. I can’t seem to get my mouth to function. All I can do is preen under his observant gaze and let out a breathy sigh.
The air sizzles with a muted hum and with every slow, calculated step toward me, my heart beats faster and faster until I feel about ready to pass out from the pressure his presence exerts. I swallow hard and my mouth parts lightly. I push back against the kitchen counter holding myself up.
He’s too much and with the gentle crease of his smiling eyes, he knows it.
With a single step forward, he crowds me, towering over me, but his presence isn’t intimidating in the least. His words are warm, oozing honey. “You sure about this, little sparrow?” His fingertips start at my elbow and trail downward. His long fingers pause then snake around my wrist, holding me firmly in place.
No. Not intimidating at all.
My eyes flutter with pent-up lust, and I tilt my head back to look up at him, blinking dreamily. My gaze lands on his full lips, and I take in his semi-guarded expression. My lips dry, my tongue darts out to wet them, and I nod in silent permission. He releases my wrist and the loss of contact almost has me crying out in mourning.
His face softening marginally in acceptance as he bends at the knees, placing his hands on my hips, and with one smooth move, he lifts me onto the cold countertop. My body breaks out in gooseflesh. He shuffles closer, his body moving into the open space between my thighs, attempting to get as close as physics will allow. His large hands slide from my hips, around to squeeze my ass, and my hands come up to hold onto his shoulders, a gentle flush heating my cheeks.
He keeps me he
re, close, in this off-kilter embrace and his cool, blue eyes never leave mine as hands roam my body, caressing and kneading at my soft flesh. His touch is electric, and I find myself biting my lip to keep from the embarrassment of moaning at his mere touch.
I’m burning up inside. The hot area between my thighs throbs delicately.
My hips, my thighs, my back, shoulder, and neck… none of these places are safe from his erotic massage.
Julius brings his forehead to mine, closing his eyes as his wonderful hands slide down my back to rest on my hips. He stills a moment before inching closer. Frustration has me attempting to shuffle closer, but he holds me tight. I lift my face to his and my top lip brushes his full bottom one. My heart pounds and my hands begin to shake. I squeeze at his shoulders almost painfully.
Enough foreplay.
I need his mouth more than I need my next breath.
He pulls away an inch and his hand comes up to cup my cheek, his thumb running gently but firmly over my parted lips. My hands slide down off his shoulders, down his material-covered chest, my nails softly scratching over his ribs until I am where I want to be.
Holy shit, I am this close to an orgasm.
My God, Julius is more than I expected. More than I bargained for.
The hem of his white cotton tee is lifted by deft fingers, up and over his head, forcing my nimble hands to release him a single moment before I clutch at his shoulders once more.
A moment’s pause and I want to cry. Julius has made me feel more in these few minutes than Dino ever had.
My lip begins to quivers.
Being here, with Julius, like this, has become the most raw experience I’ve had in my entire life. A life changing experience.
He looks into me and I return it, full force. No words are spoken. None are needed, not now.
What began with my needing to do this has ended with my wanting this more than anything I have ever wanted before.
Fuck the plan. I need this, need Julius.
His hands come to rest on my thighs and, without asking, he slides them upward in an attempt to access the most intimate part of me. In a moment of panic, I let out a soft gasp and his expression blanks. He stops, making a show of moving his hands over the clothing. He settles by wrapping his strong arms around my waist, pulling me into him, and when he does, his already hard cock rocks into me. The move has my eyes fluttering shut, and a low moan escapes me.
I don’t see the tender assault coming, but when his mouth takes mine in a deep, searing kiss, I groan into his mouth, and my body heats at the purring sound coming from deep in his throat.
Oh, God. Shit. I am a moron.
Why have I allowed this to happen?
I hadn’t expected to be so affected. I hadn’t expected to be affected at all.
I’m officially in way over my head. I know this because Julius Carter has lips that dreams are made of, and now that I’ve had a single taste of him, I am afraid this feeling of want won’t be sated so easily.
I’m drunk in lust, and I’ve never felt this way before. It’s disconcerting.
Sitting on the kitchen counter, wearing nothing but his shirt and a pair of panties, with my arms wrapped around his neck as he gently bites then sucks on my bottom lip, nothing has ever felt so natural before in my life than being in the arms of Julius Carter.
He reaches up to take my face in his hands. Looking down into my eyes, he searches.
For what?
I’m not sure. But when I smile up at him, I can almost hear the gears grinding inside his mind.
Releasing my face as if it’s the hardest thing he’s ever had to do, he takes a step back, away from me.
No.
“Julius.”
Don’t do this. Please, don’t do this.
My voice is no more than a whisper. “Don’t you dare, Julius.”
Please. Please don’t leave me. I need you.
Oh, God, I need him.
The words quiver. “Julius, don’t you dare walk away from me.”
He avoids my piercing stare as he takes another step back, effectively breaking what little I have left of me. He utters a rough, “We shouldn’t be doing this, Ana.”
I blink up at him. My brows furrow in confusion. “Yes. Yes, we should. Because it feels right. When something feels this good, that is exactly what you should be doing.”
He scoffs then shakes his head as though I’m the stupid one. “You don’t know what you’re feeling. You’re confused.”
He called it, but I won’t admit it. Yes, I’m confused. I’m a fucking mess.
A stabbing pain in my heart inflames my emotion, until suddenly, I’m aching inside. My voice low, I grind out, “Godammit, don’t tell me what I’m feeling. I’ve had a whole lot of wrong in my life. I know what feels right.”
But he steps back once more, and sheer desperation has me vowing, “If you walk away from me now, I will never have you again.”
His eyes narrow a moment before he calls my bluff, turning and walking away. Before he exits out the door, he mutters, “It’s what’s best.”
I wrap my arms around myself, fighting off the chill Julius left in the room. But I don’t cry.
I won’t.
“You goddamn moron. Lunatic. Jackass.” Ethan Black is having a bad day. “Do you have any idea what you’ve cost us?”
I place my thumbnail in my mouth, chewing on it lightly. “Enlighten me.”
“It was a bogus address, Twitch. No one there. Nada. Literally nothing. A SWAT sting wasted. Another opportunity down the drain.” Ethan’s fists ball up by his sides so tight that his knuckles turn white. He strides forward, a menacing expression on his taut face. “If you’re fucking with me, kid, you’ll rot behind bars. I swear it.”
I tilt my head and throw him a deadpan look. “You look a little tense there, Black. Might I suggest more fiber in your diet?”
“Twitch.” The chief cuts in before Ethan can lose his cool. “What happened? I think we’ve made it abundantly clear that if we don’t get our part of the bargain, neither do you.” He frowns in confusion. “Why are you playing games with us?”
“You didn’t think I’d actually give you the full address, did you?” The look of annoyance on both of their faces is beautiful.
“What, then?” Ethan wants to get down to business.
I shake my head. “You think I’m gonna take your word for it that you got these guys? C’mon.” A laugh through my nose. “No dice.”
Ethan Black sighs loudly before rolling his eyes and shouting, “What do you want?”
My statement is simple. “I want to be there. Present. As witness. Then you’ll get more from me.”
The chief looks unmoved. “No, Twitch. Now you’re asking too much.”
Ethan walks around the desk to stare out the glass of the office door. “No fucking way. I’m not taking you out on the field.”
I shrug carelessly. “Then I guess we’re at an impasse.” I stand and begin to move. “I’ll leave you to it.” I turn to the chief. “I’d wish you well, but—” I smirk lightly. “—I really don’t want to.” My feet take me to Ethan Black’s back, which is currently barring the door, and I say, “Get out of my way, Black.”
Ethan turns, his expression guarded, his mouth drawn in a thin line. “If you fuck me, I’ll fuck you right back.”
“I don’t have any intention of fucking anybody.” I repeat myself for the umpteenth time. “I just want to go home, be with my son, be with my woman. That’s all.”
I see the moment he loses his internal struggle. He sighs long and low and closes his eyes tightly, his face pained. “Okay,” he mutters quietly, then again louder. “Okay.” His eyes open and he looks toward the chief. “Have him ready in two days. We leave at dawn.”
My emotions spike, but I hold them at bay. I only have one thought going through my mind at this moment.
Yippee-kai-yay, motherfucker.
Something changed in Julius the night before.
&n
bsp; What happened between us was still thick in the air as I made my way into his bedroom, the picture of obedience. I still tasted him on my lips, felt his body close to mine, but I told myself to shake it off, that dwelling on it would harm me more than it would him. So I did all I could and pretended that nothing happened, that there was no kiss, no moment between us.
Ling hadn’t returned to the house by midnight, and when he muttered something about lights out, it was obvious he was worried about her. I pondered why he wouldn’t just call her and demand she come home. After all, he was her boss.
But that wasn’t my business. What was my business is what happened when I entered the bedroom. I was expecting something.
I got nothing.
Nothing at all.
He didn’t cuff me to him, didn’t cuff me to the headboard, didn’t verbally threaten me in any way, he just left me be. He did, however, lock us both into his bedroom suite that night, and although I expected him to lecture me on what would happen should I escape, he simply undressed, changed into his sleep pants, turned off the lights and slipped into bed without looking at me or saying a word, turning his back to me as if I wasn’t even there.
My emotional response was puzzling to say the least. His overlooking me, disregarding me as though I was nothing, was beginning to build a curious reaction from me.
I was missing his eyes on me, missing the way they held me tight, glued to the spot. Strong feelings of unwanted desire caused my chest to ache.
His indifference was not only startling but also hurtful. Completely ridiculous and irrational, I know. And a shred of my stretched mind wondered if I was beginning to develop Stockholm syndrome.
It wouldn’t do.
I had a plan, and I was sticking to it, somewhat. If I was going to see it through, I couldn’t start to get attached to the sometimes-scary but more-often-considerate man.
It wasn’t fair. Out of all men to get stuck with, I got the one who stirred the butterflies in my belly with a humble glance from those stormy blue eyes.
How could a person simply stop being attracted to someone?
I wasn’t sure it was possible.
