by Tori Carson
“Okay, I’ll take that as a no. That won’t work, Michelle. If we decide to stop using condoms then I need to know you’re going to take the Pill regularly. I’d someday like to have kids, but not right now.”
“I’m years away from wanting kids, but since I wasn’t having sex, it wasn’t a high priority. Plus there never seemed a good time to take them.”
“Think about it. Now that you’re down to school and the club, maybe taking it at dinner every day would work. Otherwise we can talk to a doctor about other ways.”
“I had a physical a few months ago, just before school started, and everything came back fine. I haven’t been with anyone since. I’ll start taking the Pill more regularly.”
“Religiously, Michelle—not more regularly. And I had a checkup last month and everything was fine too.”
“No worries. I’ll set the alarm on my phone or something.” She laughed nervously, not wanting to even think about getting pregnant.
Sean reached over and held her hand. “I want us to work on opening the lines of communication. Yesterday you started talking to me but I know it wasn’t easy for you. I have an idea that might help. Every night over dinner I want you to share one thing. Preferably a fantasy or idea you want to try, but until that comes naturally, we can start with a scene you’ve read about. It can be one you liked or one you had problems with. Are you willing to do that?” He pulled her hand up and gave it a kiss.
“You’re killing me,” Michelle whined. “Every night?”
“Every night we’re alone. If we have dinner with other people, it can wait until we have some privacy.” He glanced at her and smiled.
When he looked at her like that it was impossible to deny him. “Okay.”
“Thank you. We’ll start tonight.” He pulled into the parking lot of a local eatery. “Are you hungry?”
“I was,” she joked.
He grabbed her chin and kissed her quickly. “Don’t start that. You’re eating and you’re gonna talk to me. That’s an order.”
“Yes Sir.” She watched him flinch and he dropped his hands.
“Don’t call me that, Michelle. I’m not some guy you met at the club to party for a night with. I want to be much more than that. You aren’t one of many and I don’t want to be either. When you’re ready I want to be your Master. Until then, Sean will do. I’ve never let a sub call me by my first name. Just you.”
Ooh, she’d hit a nerve. “I’m sorry, Sean. I was only kidding around. You mean a lot more to me than that.”
He kissed her on the cheek, then came around and opened her door. As they walked in, she saw the hostess give Sean an up-and-down glance, but at least she didn’t greet him by name. A waitress quickly seated them and asked what they’d like to drink. Sean gave an order for both of them.
Michelle handed him her menu, trusting him to pick out something for her. The smile he gave her wet her panties. It was crazy how affected she was by Sean. While he scanned the menu, she tried to think of a scene from a story she could talk to him about. She shied away from the ones that interested her. It was too embarrassing to talk about those.
After he gave their order, she snuggled under his arm.
“Okay, subbie, it’s time to start talking.”
She smiled, feeling a little better now that she had one ready. “This one guy had his partner naked and bound to a beam in the middle of a club. He was using a whip on her and calling her a pain slut. That scene bothered me on so many levels.”
When she looked up at Sean, she relaxed a little more. He was never judgmental. It had to be a scene he’d watched, if not fulfilled himself many times and yet he never scoffed. He just listened.
“I know I’m in the minority, but nudity in public—” She shook her head. “I’m not cool with that. Especially since it was just her. The guy was completely dressed.”
“That’s a little bit of role differentiation. The Dom has the power, the sub has none—which is a crock.” Sean pulled away and looked her in the eye. “You realize that, don’t you, Michelle? The sub is the one with the real power. If the Dom was worth a shit, the entire scene was planned to meet the needs and desires of the submissive. You asked me last night what I liked. Well, I enjoy this. Talking with you, finding out what makes you excited, learning what makes you tremble and then planning a scene that will take you higher than you’ve ever imagined. Whips, canes, wax, fire, paddles, plugs, even humiliation—they’re all just a means to an end.”
“Thank you, Sean.”
He pulled her back under his shoulder. “So the nudity could be nothing more than symbolism or he could be trying to improve a low self-esteem or body-image issue. Or he could just be showing her off. What did it sound like in the book?”
“The story wasn’t about them, so I have no idea. Sean, it wouldn’t matter if I had the body of my dreams. I wouldn’t want to be exposed like that.”
“I hear you, and you do have the body of my dreams.”
The waitress brought their meals. He’d ordered her a grilled Thai beef salad and he was eating a tilapia filet over rice. She’d had some concerns when he’d ordered it, but it was surprisingly delicious. “This is good.” She pointed to her plate.
“I’m glad you like it. I figured since we had a heavier breakfast we might want a lighter dinner.”
“Perfect.” He seemed to read her mind, or maybe he just listened well.
“Tell me what else bothered you about that scene.”
She looked at him then back down at her plate. “Whips and canes are supposed to really hurt. I don’t think I would like that level of pain.”
“I don’t think you would either, but that wasn’t what you were going to say. What crossed your mind before you decided to wimp out on me?” He put a teasing tone into his voice.
Michelle smiled and blushed. “You’re very good at reading me.” She took a few more bites of her dinner. “I’m not sure I like that.”
Sean put his arm around her and gave her a squeeze. “Sure you do. Now stop stalling and tell me.”
“The pain-slut part bothers me. It’s derogatory and hurtful.”
“And?”
And she wasn’t ever going to voice her real fear, so he could just stop looking at her. She shook her head no and ate her dinner.
“The word slut is sometimes used as a pet name in the lifestyle.”
“I looked it up, thinking maybe there was a definition I wasn’t aware of. Nope, none of them are nice.” Phew, she’d dodged that bullet.
They finished their dinner in silence. He paid the check and they walked out to his car. Instead of opening her door, he invaded her personal space. With her back against the car, he blocked her in with his arms. “I’m still waiting for you to tell me.”
Michelle leaned forward and rested her forehead on his shoulder and bit her lip, debating what to say. “Can’t we let it go?”
“I need you to talk to me. What are you afraid of?” His voice was alternating between Dom Sean and teddy-bear Sean.
He kissed her cheek and wrapped his arms around her, further depleting her defenses. “I’m afraid you’ll confirm my worst fear.”
“Why would you think you’re a slut, Michelle? We’ve been attracted to each other for months. Yes, our relationship moved fast, supersonic by some standards, and yet glacially slow by others. Who cares? They’re our lives and we’ll live them the way we want.”
Michelle looked at his handsome face, relieved he’d misunderstood. “You’re right. It doesn’t matter.”
He met her gaze and began shaking his head. “You’re in trouble, subbie. A lie of omission is still a lie. You weren’t worried about being called a slut. You’re worried about being called a pain slut and you were going to let me believe otherwise. We can’t have that.” He dropped his hands and stepped away.
She wasn’t sure what to do. Michelle wanted to reach out to him, but didn’t know how he would react. He was right. She had purposefully misled him. “I’m sorry. It ju
st hit a little too close to home and I didn’t want to voice my concern and breathe any more life into it.”
Sean leaned in and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. “Better.” He unlocked the door and held it open for her.
Once he had the car moving, he took her hand. “I can’t have that, Michelle. In my book, that was the same as a lie. I’ve had the opportunity to mislead you and I didn’t. I took the hit and came clean. I expect the same thing from you.”
“You’re right, Sean, I’m sorry. I should have told you. I wasn’t ready to talk about it and took the easy way out.” She didn’t like the distance between them and knowing she’d put it there by being silly made her angry with herself.
“Okay, don’t do it again. That’s a hard limit for me. I won’t have lies between us.”
“Got it.” She stole one of his lines, hoping he’d smile. Damn, he was really upset. “I wanted pain and pleasure to be opposites for me and the lines seem to be blurring. It’s messing with my head.”
“Why was that so hard for you?”
His voice was back to probing and she sighed in relief. “Compared to you being disappointed in me, I guess it wasn’t. I was afraid you’d say there was nothing wrong with being a pain slut and basically confirm that I am one.”
“We talked about this a little bit yesterday and I know it’s a hot button for you. Did you understand what I was telling you last night?”
“Yes but understanding how it works doesn’t change my perception of it. It would have been easier if they’d stayed on opposite ends of the continuum.”
“You’re going to hear the phrase ‘pain slut’ at the club, Michelle. You need to keep in mind it’s consensual. The tops know how that phrase will affect their bottoms, and are using it for a pleasurable outcome.”
“I didn’t hear it being bantered about on Saturday, but honestly, I was trying to mind my own business and fill drink orders.” Michelle didn’t want to know what went on in the rest of the club. She wanted to stay in her little corner and keep to herself.
“Tell me how you wish the scene would have gone.”
She was so wrapped up in her concerns with the club that it took a few moments for her to understand what he was talking about. “The scene in the book? I wish they’d been alone and that he’d used a flogger, not a whip, and he hadn’t been a jerk and called her names.” She couldn’t believe all that came rushing out of her mouth. Goodness, she needed an off button.
Sean raised an eyebrow and kissed her hand. “I can see that. I need you to understand two things. First, what happens in the club is consensual, and the second is what happens between you and me will not only be consensual, but exactly what we decide it’ll be. BDSM isn’t one-size-fits-all. Every couple has to figure out what it will look like for them. If you never want to feel a whip along your skin, you won’t. It’s that simple. I think that level of pain is well beyond what you’d find pleasurable. If it were something you wanted to experience, we could probably work you up to that level, but what would be the point? The philosophy ‘if a little is good then a lot is better’ doesn’t work in this genre.”
As they pulled around to the back of the club, Michelle decided to share one more fear that went hand in hand with this one. “I’m a little intimidated by your experience and the fact that you own this place. I feel like because it’s your club you enjoy and want to do everything that goes on here.”
“Michelle, I can’t change my past and I’m grateful I know many ways to pleasure you. I’m about to show you one that I think we’ll both enjoy a great deal. Don’t worry about what others do here. We will both decide what we do together. Each of us has veto power. Okay?”
“Okay.”
Sean led her into his office. “Do your bathroom business, undress and then present for me here.” He threw a pillow from the couch onto the floor.
As he went into the closet, Michelle walked into the restroom, not entirely sure what was happening. The couch didn’t look big enough and since he had such an aversion to the floor, she couldn’t imagine what he had planned. When she came back into his office, she noticed he was at his desk going through a gym bag. He must have two—one he kept here and one he kept at home. Such a Boy Scout—ready at a moment’s notice.
When Michelle went to the pillow and kneeled, a whole flock of butterflies were set loose in her tummy. The image of Stella kneeling for Sean, she realized, no longer haunted her. Sean had set that to rest.
“So beautiful, Michelle.” Sean sat on the couch and ran his hand down her cheek. “Thank you.”
She wasn’t sure what to do with her hands or where to look. In the books she’d read, the girls all looked the ground so she tried that.
“Look at me, Michelle. I want to see your eyes—they’re so expressive. Some Doms want their subs to stay subservient and keep a downcast gaze. I don’t want that from you.” He ran his thumb along her bottom lip. “There’s that smile I love to see. Are you ready for this?”
“Since I have no idea what you’ve got planned…I doubt it,” she chuckled.
“I’m going to take you flying.” He held out his hand and she gladly took it. “Are you afraid of heights?”
What the heck was he talking about? “No, not that I’m aware of.” As Sean opened the door to leave his office, she pulled back on his hand. “What are we doing? I’m not wearing any clothes. I can’t go out there.”
“No one’s here, honey. The club is closed on Mondays.” He kissed her forehead and waited for her to decide.
“What if Steven or somebody else stops by? I’m not cool with this.” She was starting to panic. It was nothing short of miraculous that she was comfortable naked around him. There wasn’t any way in hell she’d prance around in front of someone else without clothes on.
“I know how you feel about public nudity, Michelle. I would never abuse your trust. The only other person with a key is Steven and we’d hear the alarm beeping as soon as he opened the door.” Sean let go of her hand and reached into his bag. “I brought this just in case he makes an unexpected appearance.”
Michelle looked down and saw one of his shirts in his bag. It would more than cover her. His calm, considerate demeanor had her feeling a little foolish. She kissed him on the cheek. “I’m sorry. I should have known you’d think of everything.”
He took her hand again and led her through the doorway and down the hall. “I appreciate that you told me what you were thinking. Sometimes I might ask you to just trust me and I may not explain myself, but most times I’ll be happy to alleviate your fears.”
She couldn’t stop from looking around the building to see if anyone was lurking nearby. It was crazy. There weren’t any cars in the parking lot. Still, it felt naughty as hell to be walking around the garden naked, especially with Sean dressed in jeans.
“I may want to blindfold you for a few minutes. Will you let me do that?”
Her trust for Sean took away that fear. “Yeah. I close my eyes most of the time anyway.” Of course now that he’d told her he wanted to blindfold her, she wondered why? What did he have planned? She tamped down her fear. She trusted him not to hurt her.
He kissed her cheek, “Good girl. I know that was a concern you had. I appreciate your willingness to try it.”
He’d made her comfortable with a lot of things in the short time they’d been together. It was pretty crazy when she thought about it.
They’d walked along a path that took them past the bar. It looked like it paralleled the wall nearest Sean’s office, but with all the vegetation it was hard to tell. The area they stopped in front of had two metal rings hanging from the ceiling, one significantly higher than the other, and two beams running over the top of the area. His question concerning her fear of heights resurfaced. What the hell did he have planned for her?
Sean threw a blanket on the “ground” and led Michelle by the arm to the center. “The floor here is padded so it will be comfortable to sit, kneel or lay down.” He faced her
away from him, then wrapped his arms around her pressing his chest to her back. “I’m so proud of you, Michelle. I can’t tell you how much your trust means to me.” Sliding his hand down her arm, he grasped her wrist, then pulled it behind her back. “I’m going to tie you up and have my way with you.”
“I’m all yours.” She leaned back against his chest as he took her other arm behind her back.
“What’s your safeword, Michelle?” As he wrapped the rope around her wrists, her nipples pebbled, begging him to touch and taste them.
“Seafood.”
“Good girl. This is going to be a bit tighter than I’ve used before. Be sure and tell me if you feel any tingling or numbness.”
“Oh, I’m feeling tingling, but not near the ropes.” Her saucy tone told him exactly what she was talking about.
Sean chuckled and shifted his pants to give his growing cock more room. Damn, she knew exactly how to get him going. He hadn’t intended to mirror their earlier discussion by staying clothed while she was bare, but if he didn’t have some kind of barrier between them, he’d never be able to give her the experience he’d planned. If he played this right, she wouldn’t be thinking about anything in a few minutes. She’d be lost to a world of pure feeling.
He took his time tying the chest harness. Each pass of the rope across her chest drew attention to her perfect breasts. Some tit torture was definitely in her future. He had clamps in his bag and he considered using them. He decided against it, not wanting anything obstructing his ability to touch them. Feeling the weight of her breasts in his hand, her nipples so damn responsive that he could look at them and they’d peak for him, he was unable to resist pinching them between two strands of rope. Hearing her moans of pleasure had his cock throbbing and his heart doing some weird flipping action.
After taking a deep breath to bring his control back online, he double-checked every wrap and knot both visually and with his hands. He kissed her neck and applied pressure on her shoulder until she went to her knees. He wanted her first time suspended to be perfect for her. It wouldn’t do to have a pinch point along the ropes. Michelle was swaying as he kneeled behind her and leaned in to pull the rope between her breasts.
